


First Dates and Diapers: A Tale of Teenage Angst (and Babies)

by wicked_writings



Category: The Avengers (2012), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Angst, Breastfeeding, Evil ex-boyfriends, F/M, Future Mpreg, Infatuation, It's hard being a teenager, Lactation Kink, Loki is the sexy new kid, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Previous mpreg, Teenage Pregnancy, These two things are related, Thor has to grow up and be responsible, Thor is Oblivious, Thor is also a stalker, Thor is in love, Trust Issues, Work In Progress, birth scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-17
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2017-11-21 09:11:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 23
Words: 146,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/595998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wicked_writings/pseuds/wicked_writings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor knows everyone in his hometown. He doesn't, however, know the rather sexy new kid. Thor's pants threaten to spontaneously combust when he discovers this delectable new (distant) neighbour. Problem is, the new guy seems awfully wary... and appears to be hiding a rather pertinent secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi folks!
> 
> Why yes, I do have a mpreg kink, and yes, that involves Loki.... so here's another one! (I need help). Please note, this is very much a work in progress, but as you can probably tell from the tags I have a clear idea of where this is heading and what this will encompass. If you don't like having to wait for new chapters to be uploaded, I suggest that it might be easier to wait until the fic is complete (warning: I have no idea how long this will be!).
> 
> There is underage sex in this fic. Please note all characters are at least 15 when all naughtiness takes place though. I wanted this to be a high school fic so have tried to keep the ages within the boundaries of school years. Also, I may be screwing completely with school years, as I wanted Thor and Loki in the same year, so I have 'bumped' Loki up one.
> 
> And on that note... I am from New Zealand and our high schools are vastly different to the States. I have tried to do the best I can but if you see a glaring error please let me know so I can fix it - trust me, I know how annoying it is to see a silly mistake in a fic that takes you right out of it because you know it's impossible/totally outrageous :)

When pressed, Thor cannot profess to an undying love for his home town. It's familiar, it's _home_ , after all, but there never seemed to be anything special or unique about where he grew up. It's not especially small, not especially big. Just somewhere in the middle – mediocre, really, which seems to sum it all up rather well. There's not much he doesn't know about the place either. Having spent the better part of his nearly 18 years roaming its streets and surrounding woodlands he has a nearly impeccable knowledge of his town and the people that inhabit it.

There are no serial killers around here, no lotto winners or mysterious old men who live in mysterious old houses on hills. There's nothing to make it any different from any other town that one would pass as they drove from Wichita to Des Moines. Or from Portland to Kansas City, for that matter. It's all terrible mundune. 

So perhaps that's why, when a new family moved into 2389 Anderson Road on a sunny Friday afternoon, Thor knew all about it. 

* 

He heard about it, really, from Steve, who lived two doors down, who told Natasha who told Thor. He was down there before the hour was out, hiding behind a bush with Natasha and her boyfriend Clint, who thought the whole thing was slightly stalkerish and refused to peer in the same direction as the rest of them. 

There was a big moving truck, of course, stuffed to the roof with beds and tables and chairs and other assorted items that make up a household. There were no coffins or skeletons though, which was disappointing. 

There appeared to be a middle-aged couple, who looked drained and frustrated with the whole experience, and an older woman who was perhaps one of their mothers. Thor couldn't imagine still living with his mother when he was in his _forties_. There didn't seem to be anyone around their age, which was a pity, because that would mean a new face at school and something a little bit different, just for a little while, until the novelty of a newcomer wore off. 

They were just about ready to give up and head down to Steve's to badger him for some food when Clint, who had been swearing up and down and on his pinkie that he wasn't watching, spotted another person waiting in a car out front. 

Natasha, who couldn't see the person from her angle, wouldn't shut up. 

“What do you mean you can't see them? Is there someone in the car or not? Man or woman? Girl or boy? Come _on_ , Clint!” 

“Fuck I dunno! Give me a minute here!” 

In the end it was Thor who saw him first, stepping from the car on the way up to the house. He seemed to be carrying something, but from the distance it was hard to be sure exactly what. The boy appeared to be around their age, or slightly younger, and he was thin, but not skinny – _lean_ , perhaps. His hair was long and black, a stark contrast to his alabaster skin. He didn't seem to be interested in anything going on around him, easily ignoring the movers and piles of furniture on the lawn. Even from far away Thor could see his features were sharp but delicate, with razor cheekbones and dark, sultry eyes. He was _stunning_. 

“Thor?” 

Thor leaned forward for a better view, whilst still trying to be covered by the bush. He kept his eyes trained on the stranger, oblivious to anything else around him. The boy walked up to his parents and handed his mother whatever he held in his arms – a _baby_ , so clearly his younger brother or sister then – and only then turned to survey the mess that was his new front yard. 

“ _Thor?_ ” Natasha asked again. 

Clint slapped the back of his head. “Yo, dude, stop drooling. It's embarrassing.” 

Thor turned to them suddenly, startled out of his reverie. He could feel his cheeks begin to redden. “I was not _drooling!_ ” 

“Oh yes you were,” said both his friends in unison, and Thor pouted before running the back of his hand over his mouth. 

“Was not.” 

“Was too. He's hot, we get it. He's your type, we get it. Just, maybe, ya know, not be so damn obvious about it next time?” Clint said, and behind him Natasha started to giggle, her red curls bouncing as she tried to stifle her laughter. 

“Don't know what you're talking about,” Thor muttered, and turned back to peer through the bush again, hoping for another glimpse of the black-haired boy. 

He was gone. 

* 

Thor had no reason to cycle down Anderson Road later that day, but he did anyway. He slowed down past 2389 and pretended to be enjoying the view, not that there was much of a view at that point in Anderson Road or anything. The front yard was empty now, the moving trucks gone, and the disappointment of not seeing the boy again sat like a rock in Thor's stomach. 

* 

He moped that evening, all through dinner and then afterwards too when his mother asked him to wash up. He always had to be asked; never did it just because he could and because his mother would appreciate it. It was an inconvenient, tedious task when he could have been playing video games or hanging out with his friends. Or, more rather, brooding about a certain black-haired teen. 

He thought about going over to Steve's on the thin pretense of asking for help with his homework just so he could walk past that house again, but that'd never work – Thor didn't exactly do his homework anyway. He wasn't close enough to Steve to just go over there to hang either. 

Thor sighed and put on the loudest, heaviest music he had instead. 

* 

The next day, Tony dragged him to the local burger joint with Clint, Tasha and Steve. Even though the burgers were _supreme_ and the fries out of this world, there was only one thing on his mind. And it wasn't food. 

“Maybe he'll start at our school.” 

Tasha and Clint groaned. Steve just looked slightly bewildered, and Tony shot glances at each person around the table, trying to figure out just what in the hell Thor was talking about. 

Tasha saw his confused look. “Thor's in _lurrrrrvveeee!_ ” she said, grinning. 

“Thor drooled all over me,” Clint added, and went back to eating his burger. 

“With _who?_ ” Tony asked Tasha, pissed off that he was out of the loop. He didn't like being uninformed and ignorant to anything new going on. He was _Tony-fucking-Stark_ , for chrissakes. 

She shrugged, and pinched a handful of fries from Clint's tray. “Some new kid. Moved into Anderson Road the other day.” 

“Oh _him?_ ” Steve said, contributing to the conversation for the first time since they'd sat down. 

“You know him?” Thor asked, sitting up so quickly he nearly knocked over Tony. He stared at Steve, heart hammering in his chest. It wasn't fair, this feeling. It made his stomach twist in knots and his hands sweat. 

“Errr, not really. I saw them move in though. He went for a walk yesterday with a baby in a stroller. Other than that, haven't seen him. They keep to themselves.” 

Thor deflated like a lead balloon and nearly collapsed into his fries. 

“There, there,” Tasha murmured, patting him on the back like she was trying to soothe a wounded dog. “You'll see him again, even if we have to infiltrate his house with spy cameras.”

“You can do that?” Thor asked enthusiastically, picking himself up out of his lunch. 

She stopped petting him. “Umm, not really. I think it's illegal.” 

“I could so _do_ that!” Tony said, dropping his burger. “It shouldn't be hard to smuggle them in, maybe in the newspaper or mail or we could dress Steve up as a Boy Scout and send him round to sell bugged cookies.” 

Steve looked scandalised. 

“No, guys, _seriously? Bugged cookies?_ Why doesn't Thor just wait until Monday and see if this dude shows up? Instead of getting arrested for stalking or some shit,” Clint pointed out. 

“Wait til Monday?” Thor asked morosely. That was a whole _day_ away! Two, when you thought about it. 

“Thor. Buddy. You'll live,” Clint insisted. “Anyway, he could be some deranged maniac. Maybe that's why they moved here, cos he killed like 3 people or something and they're hiding from the police.” 

“No, he wouldn't do anything like that,” Thor said, and smiled, his eyes looking far away in the distance. “He's too pretty.” 

Tasha threw ketchup at him. 

* 

Sunday dragged out long and slow, and Thor valiently resisted every urge to revisit Anderson Road. He gave up after lunch. 

He borrowed the neighbour's dog and took him for a walk, up Anderson Road and down the other side, and saw.... nothing. No cars in the driveway, curtains pulled tight, no movement visible _anywhere_. It was all very depressing. He invited himself to Steve's house and sat in his kitchen for an hour, looking out the window towards 2389, until Steve kicked him out. 

“You need help, Thor,” Steve said, and shut the door in his face. 

* 

Technically, Thor had a history test the next day, but he was too overcome with nerves at the thought of maybe seeing _him_ at school that all he could do was flop on his bed and hug his pillow. It wasn't like he studied anyway. 

His dreams that night were full of black hair and pale skin, a bright smile and deep eyes, and when he woke Thor found he'd spoiled his sheets. 

* 

“You have the jitters,” Steve said to him as they stood around at school, waiting for the first bell. 

“I have the _what?_ ” Thor asked, hoping it wasn't contagious. 

“The jitters!” Steve said, eyebrows raised. “You can't stand still and you're jogging on the spot.” 

“Yeah man,” Clint said, “get over it. Dreamboy might not even come here.” 

Thor paled at the thought. 

“Oh leave him alone,” Tony said. “He's infatuated. Nothing we can say is going to disarm him. He's convinced that this guy is the love of his life, and who are we to argue?” He smiled coyly at Steve, who tried awfully hard to stop the red rising in his cheeks. 

“Dreamboy? Him, you mean?” Natasha casually, looking away from the group. 

Thor followed her gaze and nearly fell over. There he was, walking through the door, even more beautiful than Thor had remembered. His eyes were emerald green, his skin pale and soft, dark hair gleaming in the light. It was true. Thor was in _love_. 

“Hmmmm,” Tony said appraisingly. “You know, I'm starting to get this infatuation thing now. Not bad, Odinson, not bad at all...” 

“You stay away from him!” Thor hissed, alarmed at the idea of Tony encrouching on his territory. 

“Hey, whoa there big fella,” Tony said quickly, hands up in a sign of surrender. “He's cute, but I have my own Dreamboy.” He looked pointedly at Steve, who looked as though he wanted the ground to swallow him up. Tasha snorted. 

Thor didn't listen, too preoccupied with something far more interesting, who was currently waiting at the school office for his timetable. He carried a dark green backpack, and wore black jeans, dark Doc Martins and a light green shirt that hugged in all the right places. Thor hoped his dick wasn't going to give away his current opinion on such an outfit. 

“Do you think I should go over and offer to show him around?” Thor blurted out, the desire to get closer almost overwhelming. 

“Yes,” said Tasha. 

“No,” said Steve. 

Thor ignored both of them. “Look look he's coming our... oh.” He watched, downcast, as one of the school secretaries came out of the office and walked off with the school's newest asset, presumably to show him around. His heart thunked depressingly in his chest and he groaned, much to Clint's disgust. 

“Man up, Thor. You'll see him again. And that's the bell! Goodbye, seeya later, good luck for your tests, see _you_ later...” He said the last to Tasha and pulled her in for a sloppy kiss, pulling away with her lipstick smeared on his mouth. 

“Gross, Clint,” Tony said cheerfully, and gave Steve a pat on the arse as he headed for homeroom. 

Steve ignored him. “Good luck, Thor,” he said seriously, before leaving in the opposite direction to Tony. 

“Yeah, good luck, dude. You'll see him around,” Tasha said, and mussed up his hair before she left. 

And then Thor was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! So, one, THANK YOU so much for all the kudos's and comments! I'm glad you guys like this premise just as much as me, it's pretty much taken over my brain! And two, huge apologies for the delay in getting the next chapter up - I went away for a week over xmas and apart from my phone I had no net access. I did, however, manage to write about 10,000 words on this so the next chapter shouldn't be too far away :). 
> 
> Also - I realised the other day that I might not have made the relationship between Tony and Steve particularly clear. Essentially, they are not currently together, just have rather impressive crushes on each other (not that Steve would admit it). They'll be getting together properly soon, once Steve gets his act together ;)

Thor sulked through his first two periods of class. He kept waiting for the dark-haired boy to walk through the door, but to his total and utter disappointment neither Geography nor Economics was improved by the appearance of his elusive new crush. He settled for tuning out the teacher and daydreaming about those gorgeous green eyes instead.

Their communal study period was spent outside in the sun, thanks to a generous teacher, but Thor found it hard to be cheerful whilst he knew that the boy was wandering about the school somewhere and it wasn't anywhere near him. He tried to convince Tasha to walk around the school with him in hopes of accidentally bumping into him, but the look he got in return was enough to disregard that option. He went back to sulking. 

“Oh cheer up Thor, you look like someone just ran over your cat,” Clint said, throwing a paper plane at him. 

“I don't have a cat.” 

“Thor, it's a saying.” 

“I don't care.” 

“What's your problem?” Tony asked, from beside Steve. He had a book on Thermonuclear Physics in one hand and a grasp on Steve's shirt in the other. Steve pretended not to notice. 

“Lover boy,” Tasha said, before Thor could open his mouth. “He's not in any of Thor's classes so far and Thor is, shall we say, a little bit disappointed.” 

“Oh, him,” Steve said, carefully detangling Tony's hand from his shirt. “He's in my Classics class.” 

Thor floundered like a fish. “I.... what?” 

“Yeah. Second period.” 

Thor's mouth was open but nothing came out. There was so much to say, to ask, but his brain had ground to a halt and he couldn't think past _why the fuck did I not take Classics this year?_

Clint snorted in amusement. “Figures. Nice one. What's he like?” 

Steve shrugged. “Quiet. Didn't really say anything. Sat next to me, though.” 

Thor wanted to kill something. Anything. With his bare hands. 

“Thor, you are not to kill Steve,” Tasha said, as if she could read his mind, and settled a quiet hand on his shoulder. 

Steve looked startled at the prospect, while Tony looked a little alarmed and tried to shuffle in front of his friend. 

“Please don't touch him, he's too young and pretty to die!” Tony said, raising his hands in defence. Steve just picked him up and put him back where he came from. 

“His name is Loki, that's all I found out,” Steve said, rolling his eyes at Tony, who was moping next to him. 

“ _Loki?_ ” Clint asked, one dubious eyebrow raised. “Who the fuck names their kid _Loki?_ ” 

“Well, let's face it, 'Thor' isn't much better, is it? Sorry, Thor,” Tasha said, throwing a sympathetic glance his way. 

Thor just grunted. He liked his name. He liked 'Loki', too. A lot. 

“Who cares about his name. Where the hell did he come from and why is he starting in the middle of the semester?” Clint asked, curious. 

Steve shrugged. “No idea. Like I said, he didn't say much. Look. Thor, at least he's in our year. Means he might have some classes with you, right?” he pointed out, as if he wanted Loki to appear in Thor's next class just so Thor would shut up. 

“I hope so,” Thor said morosely. “I hope so.” 

* 

He wasn't in Biology. Thor resisted the urge to throw his gutted frog at the teacher. 

* 

He met the others in the cafeteria for lunch. Today was spaghetti, and by the time he joined the others at their table Clint already had red sauce splattered down his front like blood, Tony had stolen Steve's napkin and was using it to wipe his book free of excess lunch, and Tasha's chin was as red as her hair. 

“You all look ridiculous.” 

Steve looked offended, although that was probably because out of all of them, he was the only one who actually knew how to eat spaghetti. 

“Fuck you too,” said Tony, and he gave the dirty napkin back to Steve. 

“No luck then?” Tasha asked sympathetically. Thor sat next to her with a thud. 

“No,” he said, bottom lip sticking out, and suddenly he wasn't hungry anymore. He pushed the pasta around his plate with his fork. 

“You could always gate-crash Steve's Classic class,” Clint said around a mouthful of pasta. 

“I'm still willing to plant bugs in his house,” Tony said, and shuffled a little closer to Steve. 

“You're all stalkers,” Steve said, and didn't bother to move away from Tony. 

Thor sighed. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He should have seen Loki again before now. Maybe helped him find his way around the school, or sat next to him in one of his classes. Instead, he was playing with pasta and hoping to God things were going to get better. He had an ache in his chest that had nothing to do with his upcoming History test and it was starting to hurt. 

“Speaking of the devil...” Clint muttered, and thrust a pasta-laden fork in the direction of the serving area. “Guess who's getting lunch.” 

Thor had always been told that staring was rude, but he turned around anyway, eyes searching for a glossy mat of black hair among the crowds that littered the cafeteria. Loki had just paid for his lunch and was picking up cutlery and napkins, and even across the distance something made Thor's heart thunk longingly in his chest. He was beautiful. 

“Here, buck over, will you?” Steve asked Tony, who froze and clutched his tray. 

“No,” Tony said. “Come this way instead.” 

“Fine,” Steve sighed, giving up, and slid two feet over in Tony's direction until there was a space at the table where he'd been sitting. 

Thor was barely conscious of this, because Loki was walking, looking for a seat in the awkward way new students always did, and he was just as beautiful moving as he was standing still. 

“Hey, Loki!” Steve called out, and it was Thor's turn to freeze. 

He watched as Loki stopped, brow furrowed in confusion. 

“Loki, come here,” Steve said, and patted the now empty seat next to him. 

Thor knew it, he was going to die. Steve was asking Loki to sit with them so casually, but Steve had nothing vested in this apart from being nice to a new kid. Thor – Thor was _in love,_ and now Loki was going to be three feet away from him, directly across the table, no less. He hoped to God he had nothing on his face. Tasha hurriedly wiped her chin with someone else's napkin. 

“Thanks,” Loki said, shyly, and something inside Thor curled up and trembled at the sound of his voice. Angelic, really, he thought. He couldn't stop staring as Loki laid his tray on the table and sat down, all black hair and alabaster skin and green eyes. Clint elbowed him in the side and Thor startled and dropped his gaze to his spaghetti. 

“Loki, this is Tony, Tasha, Clint, and Thor,” Steve said, introducing them all in turn, and when he said Thor's name Thor was so nervous he tried to smile and talk at the same time and got all mixed up and stuttered. Tony snorted into his spaghetti and got red sauce all over his book again. 

Loki was pretty, Loki was gorgeous, he was perfect, and even when Thor made a complete and utter fool of himself he smiled gently and suddenly those deep green eyes were looking right at him. Thor never wanted to see anything else ever again. 

Steve was talking again. “How's your first day been so far?” As far as questions go, it was boring and it was safe, but at least Steve had control of his voice and mouth muscles, which was at least far better than how Thor was going. 

Loki looked embarrassed to have all eyes on him. “Uh, good, I guess. I like it here,” he said simply, and Thor noticed he was pushing his pasta around on his plate instead of eating it, just like him. 

“Where are you from?” Clint asked, eagle eyes narrowed. 

“Anchorage.” 

“ _Alaska?_ ” Tony asked, and dropped his fork. Red blotches grew on Steve's shirt, but he didn't notice. 

“Yeah,” Loki answered. “Um, my dad got a transfer.” He seemed nervous, but Thor reckoned he'd be too if he was getting the third degree from people he'd never met. 

“Well, could have been worse,” Tasha pointed out. “Could have been the arse end of nowhere.” 

Loki chuckled, although it seemed more a giggle, and it was so cute Thor almost sighed with happiness. 

“And they made you start in the middle of the semester?” Steve asked, sympathetic. “That's tough.” 

“Yeah, well, that's my dad for you,” Loki said, and Thor longed to reach across the table to brush a lock of black hair over his ear. He didn't want the bell to ring, he wanted to stay there forever, just looking. 

“Thor, are you actually eating that, or just playing with it?” Clint asked, frustrated, and Thor felt his cheeks blush as Loki looked at him. 

“Imm not hungry,” Thor mumbled, and pushed the tray towards the end of the table, where Clint sat. It was enthusiastically received. Thor felt sick just watching him. 

When he turned his gaze away from Clint, he found Loki still looking at him, and for a moment Thor felt nervous, scrutinised, but then Loki smiled, just briefly, and Thor nearly fell off his chair. 

Steve rescued him by asking another question. “I think I saw you moving into Anderson Road the other day.” Thankfully, he didn't mention that three of them were staked out in a bush for an hour. 

Loki nodded, and pushed away his spaghetti. Clint eyed it hungrily. “Yeah. It's alright.” 

Steve smiled. “I live two doors down and across the road.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, you ever need anything, someone's always home.” 

Loki smiled, and it was so beautiful Thor almost drooled over his hand again. “Thanks. That's really nice of you.” 

“No worries,” Steve said, and smiled back, and suddenly Thor wanted to kill Steve again. Tony looked just as murderous. 

* 

The rest of lunch passed in a haze. Thor spent most of his time looking at Loki, who spent most of his time looking at Steve. Thor picked apart his napkin, piece by tiny piece until the floor under his feet was littered with little bits of fluff. 

He barely heard the bell ring and Tasha had to haul him up from his seat. “Come on, Thor, you idiot,” she said, but it was missing its usual venom. 

He stumbled to Science and sat there numbly, still struck by the depth of Loki's green eyes and the way he smiled at Steve. 

* 

Last period of the day was History, and the test that Thor hadn't studied for. His stomach was tied in knots, and his head felt heavy. He just wanted to go home and fall into bed and not emerge for the next century, at least. 

“Take a seat dear, there's a spare one next to Thor.” 

He perked up at the sound of his name, and there _he_ was, standing awkwardly next to his teacher, who had a finger pointed right at him. Loki made his way down the row of seats and Thor swallowed the sudden lump in his throat and tried not to appear as though he was 2 seconds from jumping up and praising the gods. 

“Hi,” Loki said quietly, and sat down next to him. Thor just stared, until something poked him in the brainpan and he remembered his manners. 

“Hi Loki,” Thor said in reply, and was grateful he didn't say anything stupid. Again. 

He was relieved from making further conversation by the teacher, who sat a textbook down on Loki's desk. 

“Now, the others have a test, but you are excused, of course. Why don't you use the time to have a look through our class textbook and see what we've already studied. We're up to chapter 5,” she said with a smile, and flounced back up the aisle. 

Loki just stared down at the thick textbook with a small hint of dismay. 

“It's not too bad, really,” Thor said. “Just skim the chapter headings and read the Wikipedia entries on them instead.” 

Loki turned to stare at him. 

“Hey, it's worked for me so far,” Thor said in defence, kicking himself for making Loki think he was stupid. 

He nearly cried with joy when Loki stifled a laugh and smiled back. 

* 

Thor blundered his way through the test with his usual nonchalence. He was pretty sure he got everything on the crossing of the _Mayflower_ and most on King Philip's War. He skipped the question on the First Great Awakening entirely. 

When he was sure it was safe he snuck glances sideways at Loki, who was engrossed in the section in their textbook about the Great Depression. His black hair hung down like a curtain around his face, shimmering in the artificial light from above. Thor's eyes traced the delicate lines of Loki's fingers until the teacher called time up. 

* 

“How was it?” Loki asked, as the teacher dismissed them. 

“Could have been better,” Thor said. “What do you know about the _Mayflower_?” he asked. 

“Not much,” Loki said, raising an eyebrow. “I'm actually from Norway.” 

That stopped Thor in his tracks. “Really? My parents are from Oslo. I was born here, though.” 

“I was born in Oslo,” Loki said, and smiled. 

Thor danced a little, inside. “Why did you move to Alaska then?” 

“My dad's job. We moved when I was 7.” 

Thor pulled on his jacket and slowly moved with Loki outside. “Do you miss Norway?” 

“Yeah, I do. Sometimes. We go back every year though, so it's not too bad.” 

“Wow. I've never been,” Thor said, regretfully. He kept hoping his dad would take him on one of his business trips to Norway, but things always came up. Mainly school. 

“You should. It's beautiful,” Loki said wistfully, and Thor noticed that Loki suddenly seemed far away. He wondered just how much Loki actually wanted to be in America. 

“Hey, um,” Thor started, suddenly feeling brave, “do you want to get something to eat? There's a great burger place not far from here.” 

Loki stopped, and Thor felt like sinking into the ground. “I would love to... but I'm so sorry, I promised Steve I'd walk home with him and I have to be home straight away.” 

Thor burned, inside and out, and not even the regret he could see on Loki's face stopped him from thinking homicidal thoughts about Steve. “No worries,” he stammered out. “Another time then?” he said, and gave Loki a small smile before he felt like he had to get the fuck out of there. He didn't wait for Loki's response as he turned and fled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! :O and THANK YOU everyone for the amazing kudos and comments - I'm very sorry that I don't have time to reply to all of them but I love that so many people love this plot and storyline as much as I do! It has virtually taken over my head and I have had so many ideas and plotlines for it that I'm not sure I can even get them all to fit :O.

Thor felt sick all that afternoon and night. He declined dinner, settling instead for laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. Thoughts of how he could have done things differently swirled around his head, and he felt he'd blown the only chance he might ever get.

At around 3 in the morning, Thor pulled his pillow over his head and tried to suffocate himself to sleep. 

* 

The sky was gray and overcast the next morning, which seemed to fit his mood perfectly. He walked to school by himself, thinking about maybe ditching and going to the woods to wallow amongst the trees. That never worked though, because the school always called his mother, and then he had to endure a lengthy sermon about safety and dedication to school work. 

His stomach roiled even more at the thought. 

Tasha and Clint were waiting by the gate, and it wasn't long before Tony pulled up in the sportscar his father had bought for his 16th birthday. He was alone, which was strange. 

“Where's Steve?” Tasha asked, because Tony usually picked Steve up in the mornings. 

Tony scowled, his face as thunderous as the clouds above. “Walking with _Loki_.” He spat Loki's name as if it were mud, and Thor's stomach clenched in on itself. He felt like he needed to puke. This wasn't going the way Thor hoped it would _at all._

He sat with the others while they waited. Clint and Tasha chatted to each other about football but he and Tony were too subdued to talk. Thor wasn't sure what he wanted – he wanted to see Loki again, maybe talk to him, but he didn't want to see Loki with Steve. Jealousy burned inside him at the thought. 

Thor was so lost in his thoughts that it wasn't until Clint nudged him with his foot that he realised that Steve and Loki had joined them. Steve was talking to Tasha but Loki was silent, just standing there. He was wearing a black t-shirt but the same jeans and Docs as he wore yesterday. He looked wonderful. 

“Morning, Loki,” Thor said, hoping to god Loki wasn't hung up on him walking away yesterday. To his utter delight, Loki smiled at him. 

“Good morning, Thor,” he said, and in that moment he might have been the only person left in existence. 

The bell rung before Thor could say anything else, but Loki gave him another smile and a small wave before he had to leave for homeroom. Tasha had to thump Thor between the shoulderblades to remind him to move. 

* 

Thor had History second period that day, and he fidgeted all through Economics in first. Once he was seated in History he kept the seat next to him free by glaring at anyone who dared tried to sit there. Thankfully, Loki wasn't late and seemed relieved to see Thor already there, and a spare seat next to him. Thor did his best to make it look like it was by accident, not design. 

“Thanks,” Loki said, and sat down hurriedly. 

“Did you read your textbook?” Thor asked, a smile at the corner of his mouth. 

“Ahhh...” Loki looked for a second like he was going to say 'yes', but then gave Thor a knowing grin and said, “Not at all.” 

They laughed, and something in Thor's chest eased. Loki didn't hate him, which he was immensely thankful for – he didn't know if he'd be able to stand it if that happened. And Loki seemed cool. Always useful and welcome when one met the crush that inhabited their dreams. 

* 

He walked with Loki outside after the bell rung, somewhat giddy that he could even _do_ this, because he'd had horrible thoughts that after originally seeing Loki, he'd never see him again and be depressed for the rest of his life and end up living alone with cats. Black haired cats with green eyes. 

He swallowed the urge to giggle with happiness and aimed for his most masculine, aloof _I'm not actually in love with you at all_ look. He studied his reflection in the window of a classroom as they passed and thought he'd done a reasonably good job, considering everything inside of him was just telling him to jump on Loki, drag him to the nearest bush and do something really rather naughty. 

Tasha would never forgive him. 

They met up with the others under a tree by the field, one of their usual spots for their study period when it wasn't previously inhabited by a hoard of robotic sophomores swapping dangerous and sometimes illegal substances. Clint and Tasha were practically sitting in each other laps and Tony and Steve were propped up against the tree trunk. Bruce was there too, one of Tony's science buddies, who came out of the laboratory every now and again for a bit of fresh air. 

Thor could practically see the smile on Tony's face fade as he spotted them coming. He hoped to god Loki hadn't noticed. 

“Loki!” Steve called, his All-American grin splitting his All-American face. Thor had never hated apple pie so much as he did in that moment. He felt himself falter as suddenly Loki's attentions turned from him to Steve. It was not a nice feeling and his stomach started to turn. 

“Hi Steve,” Loki said back, though Thor could have sworn, just for a second, that it sounded slightly forced. His poor stomach perked up a bit. 

“Do you want a seat?” Steve asked, as if Thor didn't exist, and patted the space between him and Tony, who did not look impressed. If glares could kill, Loki would have been a pile of dust. 

Thor felt empty, like all the good stuff had been taken out of him. He stood and waited for Loki to move, away from him and towards Steve. Why did it always have to be this way? 

But beside him, Loki didn't move. “Ah, it's ok Steve, thanks. I promised Thor I'd sit with him. Besides, I don't think there's much room.” 

Fireworks were going off in Thor's head. Catherine wheels were doing cartwheels in his stomach. Big sparkly flares loaded with glitter were exploding on his skin. He closed his mouth before the happiness could escape and do something embarrassing to his voice. 

Steve looked a little taken aback, but Loki had been awfully polite and everyone knew (at least, deep down) that he was only trying to do the nice thing. Loki, it seemed, was ready to branch out on his own. 

Tony looked as pleased and relieved as Thor felt. 

Nothing more was said, and to Thor's utter delight, Loki grasped the sleeve of his jacket and encouraged him over to sit down. They sat, bumping knees on the grass, and the sun had come out and was shining at last and Thor felt like the happiest person alive. 

* 

History was usually dull, but the addition of Loki to the class suddenly made it Thor's favourite subject. Unfortunately, it was also the only class he shared with Loki. He made the most of it by trying to spend as much time before and after the class with Loki, and at least the other teen seemed to enjoy it as well. 

Loki officially became part of their group by the end of his first week, when Tony pinched his phone and programmed all their numbers in, much to his delight (and Thor's). He hadn't really fallen in with any of the other people at their school, although Thor had noticed that Loki attracted a lot of attention – not just the attention any newcomer garnered but also the sort of attention that made Thor's insides clench with possessiveness. He hadn't been the only one to notice just how pretty Loki was. Girls stood in groups by their lockers and giggled and tossed their hair when Loki passed, and Thor wanted to throw things at them. 

His only comfort was that Loki didn't seem to be interested in them at all. He didn't even seem to notice how certain girls went out of their way to interact with him. He was friendly, but never went further than polite conversation. It was clearly frustrating for them, and Thor always thought about grinning snidely at them like a 3 year old when their passes were rejected. 

He also noticed that Steve seemed to have backed off in his growing friendship with Loki, and wondered if Tasha had had a small word in his ear. He wasn't going to ask. Steve, of course, kept a friendly and helpful relationship with him, but he also went back to hitching rides with Tony in the mornings. Tony came out of his sulk and started to be a bit nicer to Loki, and it didn't take long for Thor to connect the dots. Or Loki, either, if the knowing smile on his face was any indication. 

By the time the weekend rolled around, Thor was confident enough to ask Loki out for burgers again. He invited Clint and Tasha too, so it didn't seem like a date – he wasn't _that_ confident yet – but Loki seemed so pleased at the invitation that he wondered if maybe he hadn't needed to ask the other two to join them after all. 

“I'd love to come,” Loki said, smiling brilliantly. Thor's stomach did a flip. “I just have to make sure my parents are ok with it, but I'm sure it'll be fine.” 

“Awesome,” Thor said, with no small amount of relief. “You're gonna love it, I swear!” 

* 

Loki took to the burgers like a cat to cream. He practically moaned with pleasure at the first bite and Thor had to fight down the urge to imagine Loki in the throes of sex. It was hard. Tasha kicked him under the table. 

Thor couldn't blame him though. They really _were_ that good. Even better was when Clint decided, on the spur of the moment apparently, to take them for a walk down by the river. He walked ahead with Tasha and Thor found himself with Loki, who'd never even realised their little town had a river. 

“It's pretty, isn't it?” Thor asked, only half referring to the water. 

“Yeah,” Loki agreed. “It's not bad to look at, at all,” he said, and grinned at Thor, who suddenly had the desire to take his hand. He chickened out at the last second and settled instead for smiling back, and for the second time in a week, everything else ceased to exist. 

* 

All things considered, he was looking forward to school resuming on Monday. He stood outside the gates with Tony and Steve while Tasha and Clint made out behind a tree and they pretended not to look. He was almost giddy, excited to see Loki again, and ignored Steve and Tony while he peered down the road, waiting. 

Loki arrived just before the bell, trudging up the road with his bag slung over his shoulder. Thor knew something was wrong even before he came up to them. He looked exhausted – heavy bags under his eyes, hair limp and untended. He managed a smile in Thor's direction but didn't say anything. 

“Are you ok?” Thor asked, edging closer. His stomach clenched and he hoped Loki was alright. 

“Yeah,” Loki said, after a moment. He made the effort to speak clearly, but looked like he was struggling. 

“Did you get any sleep?” Steve asked, concerned. 

Loki nodded, but then yawned so wide Thor swore he heard his jaw crack. “I got a couple of hours, anyway.” 

“'A few hours'?” Tony asked. “What were you doing?” 

Loki looked at him warily. “Crying baby.” 

“Oh, your baby sister?” Thor asked before he could think. Loki wasn't supposed to know he was stalking his house the day he moved in. 

Sure enough, Loki gave him a sharp look. 

Whoops. 

“Baby brother?” Clint asked, clearly mistaking the situation. 

“Um, we were walking near your house when you moved in,” Thor made up quickly. “We saw you with a baby.” 

The colour drained from Loki's face so fast Thor thought he was going to faint. He trembled on his feet and Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulders to hold him up. He maintained a safe distance and resisted the urge to press close. 

“Baby sister then?” Thor asked, trying desperately to get the conversation back on track. 

“Uh, yeah,” Loki said, and looked up at him with wide eyes. “She wasn't feeling well. I stayed up with her.” 

“Dude! Shouldn't that be your parents job?” Clint asked, having rejoined the group with Tasha after they got chased out of their tree by a teacher. 

Loki closed his eyes. “They work hard,” he said, and to Thor it sounded like his voice was cracking. “They needed to sleep. And she likes me.” 

“Is she feeling better today?” Tasha asked quickly, before Clint could say anything else completely moronic. 

Loki nodded, and Thor could feel his head on his arm. “She was sleeping when I left.” 

“You should be sleeping too,” Thor said quietly, sad and concerned that Loki seemed so tired. 

“I have to keep up with my schoolwork,” Loki said, sounding slightly panicked, and Thor gripped him even harder. 

“Loki, you can get notes from others in your classes. And the teacher can send you work to make up for it. You should go home,” Tasha said, and Thor thought she sounded remarkably like his mother. He would never say that to her face though, or he'd probably wake up without his left testicle. 

Loki just shook his head, and squeezed his eyes closed. Thor wanted desperately to wrap him up in his arms entirely and not let go. The bell rung then, and the others had to go, but Loki stayed. Thor did what he wanted to do the whole time and pulled Loki up into a hug. 

He felt Loki's face pressed into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and felt, under his hands, Loki's chest tremble. 

“You need to go home,” Thor said, and managed to imbue it with enough authority that Loki didn't protest. “I can walk you,” he whispered, and when Loki nodded into his shoulder Thor felt the sudden damp of tears. 

* 

He half walked, half carried Loki back to his house. It was a reasonable distance and Thor was going to be late for school, no question, but he didn't particularly care. Neither he nor Loki spoke on the way, but it was a comfortable silence. They made their way back slowly and carefully, and Loki kept his head on Thor's shoulder. Thor had never felt more needed. 

He didn't want to let Loki go when they reached his doorstep. He rang the bell, hoping someone was home. It took a few moments but he heard footsteps approaching, and then the door opened. An older woman answered the door, too old to be Loki's mother so he guessed his grandmother. She was clearly the older lady that Thor had noticed the day Loki had moved in, and in her arms she carried a baby. 

“Yes, dear?” she asked, before spotting Loki hanging off Thor's shoulder. “Oh, Loki,” she sighed. “I told you to stay home today.” 

Loki gave a watery smile and reached out a trembling hand to the baby's head. He stoked her face with a gentle finger, and for the moment he looked completely peaceful. 

“Come inside child, before you fall over,” she chided, and stood aside. 

“Thanks, Thor,” Loki said quietly, turning to him. “I really appreciate it.” 

“Not a problem,” Thor said, thankful that he could find words. He watched as Loki went inside, hoping he would collapse into bed and sleep for the rest of the day. Then he was alone, and there was nothing for it but to start the long walk back to school. 


	4. Chapter 4

Thor made his way as quickly as he could back to school. To his surprise, he didn't get into trouble when he went to the office to report in for being late.

“It's alright,” said the lady behind the counter. “Loki's grandmother called and said you helped him home. Just go to your class and hand your teacher this note.” 

Thor sighed with relief. The last thing he needed was another visit from his mother and another lecture on how he was to behave at school. They were embarrassing and no good for his image. 

* 

The day passed slowly without Loki to sweeten it up. He didn't have the anticipation of maybe seeing Loki in between classes, or the pleasure of being with him in breaks and in History. School was suddenly immensely dull again. 

Remembering how concerned Loki was about catching up on his schoolwork, he managed to wrangle a copy of his timetable from the school secretary and went around all his teachers from that day to plead for the day's work. By the time he was finished, he had a stack of papers 2 inches tall and the bell had long gone. None of his friends had bothered to wait for him so he made his way back to Loki's house alone. 

He knocked cautiously on the door, hoping he didn't look as silly as he suddenly felt. He wasn't even sure that Loki would appreciate a bundle of work when he was clearly unwell. 

The same lady from that morning answered the door. She looked surprised but asked if she could help. 

Thor held up the ream of papers. “Um, I have some work for Loki from his classes today. His teachers gave them to me.” 

She looked even more surprised. “Oh. Well, thank you, dear. He's sleeping at the moment but I'll give them to him when he wakes up.” She smiled, which eased the knot in Thor's stomach, and he managed a smile back and a wave before he headed back down the path. 

* 

At 8.40pm that night, when Thor was attempting to tackle a mountain of homework, his phone went off from where it sat on a pile of books. He couldn't imagine who would be phoning him at that time of the day but he answered anyway. 

“Hello?” 

“Thor?” 

“Loki?!” 

“Yeah,it's me. Tony put in your number for me.” 

Thor made a mental note to buy Tony as many burgers as he wanted. Loki's voice was heaven in his ear and he could feel his stomach tingle, if such a thing was possible. He promptly abandoned his half-finished homework and collapsed on his bed. “How are you? Are you ok?” he asked, sounding far too much like his mother. 

He could practically hear Loki smiling down the phone. “I'm way better, thanks to you.” 

He sounded better too, and something in Thor's chest eased. “Good. I'm pleased you're better. How long did you sleep for?” 

“Like 6 hours, or something ridiculous like that. Pretty sure I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight now,” he said, and giggled down the phone. Thor had never heard a nicer sound. 

“God, just don't come to school tomorrow like you did today... Loki, you looked so sick,” Thor admitted, almost in a whisper, and felt stupid the second he had. He didn't want Loki thinking he was emotionally fucked. 

There was a pause on the line, and Thor mentally hit himself in the head. 

“I know, I'm sorry,” Loki said quietly, and something about his tone eased Thor's mind. “I think my grandmother is still annoyed that I went to school in the first place.” 

“I'm surprised you even made it there, way that you were.” 

“Me too,” Loki admitted. “Thank you, by the way, for the work. I really appreciate it. I'm going through it at the moment.” 

“Shouldn't you be resting?” Thor asked, concerned. He had no desire to see Loki like that again, even if the hug was nice. 

“I'm fine now, Thor. I was just tired. I swear.” Loki sounded like he desperately wanted Thor to believe him, so he did. 

“That's really good. Hey, how's the baby?” 

“She's better, much better. She had a bit of a fever but it's come down and the doctor thinks she'll be fine. She's been sleeping all day,” Loki said, his voice brightening. 

Thor thought about the look he saw on Loki's face when he saw the baby that morning and figured his baby sister meant a lot to him. Loki sounded so happy talking about her he decided to keep the conversation on the same track. 

“That's great! What's her name?” 

“Briana. It means strength,” Loki told him, and Thor wondered why she didn't have a Norwegian name like her brother. “She's just over four months old and she's getting bigger every day.” 

Loki seemed completely enamoured by her, and it make Thor smile to hear him speak of her. She was clearly very loved, and Thor could hear it in his voice. He didn't have any brothers or sisters so it was hard for him to relate, but at the same time he could understand how much Loki cared. 

They spoke about Briana for almost 15 minutes, then about Tony and Steve and were-they or weren't-they, and then about their mutual dislike for football and their similar tastes in music. Before Thor knew it, they'd been on the phone for over an hour and he hadn't even noticed the time pass. Talking to Loki was intoxicating, like his very voice was a drug that made him feel like he was flying. He drunk in everything that Loki had to say and committed it to memory, because he _wanted_ to know what Loki liked and didn't like, and what he thought of the world and everything in it. Clearly Loki was passionate about music and his baby sister, and though Thor knew only what Loki had told him of Briana, he knew plenty about music, and just before Loki's mother made him disconnect he promised to let Thor ravage his album collection. Thor snapped his phone shut and just about sighed with pleasure from the wonderful phone call. 

* 

Thor was pleased to see Loki back the next day, looking well-rested and happy. He wore a shirt that Thor hadn't seen on him before, a blood red shirt that made his green eyes unusually dark. As usual, Thor couldn't keep his own eyes off him. 

He walked to class with Loki and asked about Briana, who had fully recovered and screamed healthily for her breakfast that morning. Thor wondered how much of Loki's bubbling happiness that morning was due to her getting better. He didn't say anything about it, just smiled and waved goodbye to Loki when they had to split to get to their different classes. 

* 

Later that day, Loki and Thor had History together. The teacher ended the class a little early (much to Thor's relief, there really was a limit to how much one could listen to a recitation of the English Royal bloodline) and handed back their tests from the previous week. Of course, Loki didn't get one, but that only made him more curious as to what Thor had gotten. 

Having made little effort for the test, Thor was relieved to see he had at least passed – by the bare minimum necessary. He pumped the air with his fist and grinned happily at Loki, who looked a little confused at Thor's celebration over such a terrible mark. 

“Did I miss something? Does C stand for 'terrific' here or something?” 

“Nope!” Thor said, still grinning. “But I passed Loki, I passed!” 

Loki raised an eyebrow and didn't look as pleased as Thor felt. “How hard was the test?” 

Thor handed it over. Loki read through it slowly and carefully, and handed it back with an inscrutable look on his face. 

“What?” Thor asked, a little of his excitement deflating. 

“Well... I mean, did you study for the test?” Loki asked, looking a bit cautious. 

Thor shrugged. “Not really. I kinda flicked through the textbook, but that's it.” 

Loki looked almost offended. “Thor, it's a test! What you get in your tests throughout the year has a lot of bearing on your final mark. Don't you want an A?” 

It was Thor's turn to look bemused. “An A? Why would I want an A? All I need is to pass!” 

“Don't you want to go to college?” Loki asked. 

Thor just stared. He hadn't thought about that. “Err, well, I'll be ok as long as I get a C average, right?” 

Loki sighed. “Thor, the marks you get in high school are what colleges look at when you apply. None of the good colleges will accept someone with a C average! You think Harvard takes anyone with less than a 4.0 GPA?” 

Thor didn't have anything to say. He had never thought about any of this, just assumed that passing was the most important thing. Loki was staring at him, clearly expecting a reply, but Thor had nothing. The bell saved him, and he had to run to make it to Economics on time, so he made his excuses and said goodbye. As he made his way to his next class he decided that thinking about ruining his future was depressing and shoved it all to the back of his mind. 

* 

Thankfully, Loki didn't say anything more about the test after that, but Thor had a vague feeling that he was somewhat unimpressed by it, which made him a bit uncomfortable and slightly ashamed he hadn't bothered to study for it. He decided that if studying and making an effort impressed Loki, then he was going to do it. No matter how much he hated the idea. 

He didn't say anything to Loki though, just in case the idea backfired. 

* 

Wednesday was beautiful, hot and sunny with a glorious blue sky. It reminded Thor of summer, of long days of freedom. There was one more summer, then one more year of school, then... then his future was open, blank, and he still had no idea of what he wanted to do. Loki seemed to have it all figured out, and of that, Thor was a little jealous. Loki was smart, stupidly smart, and he didn't draw that conclusion just from Loki kicking everyone else's arse at History – Steve had a new contender for top of Classics, and Thor had heard from a few others about how Loki was excelling in his classes. 

He saw how hard Loki worked, how keen he was to catch up and score well on their end of year exams. He guessed that Loki wanted to get into a good University, study hard and graduate with a top degree – in what, he couldn't guess, but he wouldn't be surprised if he chose Classics or English. From all accounts, Loki was excellent at both. 

That Wednesday during study period and lunch he was reading Cicero's _Republic_ , which Steve said wasn't even required for their paper, but Loki had insisted on reading it anyway, to get an idea on the stormy atmosphere that pervaded Rome just before the civil war that saw an end to the Roman Republic. 

Thor was quite sure that some other guy had written _Republic_ , and asked Loki if the guy had changed his name or if it was a copy. Loki had laughed, but not cruelly, and the soft smile he gave Thor made cartwheels flip in his stomach. 

Loki shook his head gently. “Plato wrote his own _Republic_ , many years before Cicero wrote his. Plato was Greek, Cicero a Roman. Cicero wrote about the same subjects though.” 

“I've heard of Plato,” Thor muttered. “There's too fucking many of these old guys writing books.” 

Loki laughed then, really laughed, and it lit up his face like the sunrise. Thor smiled, because he couldn't _not_. Loki was beautiful when he laughed, the kind of beautiful that made Thor's insides clench. “They're interesting,” Loki said, with that soft smile still on his face. “A bit much to take in at first, but it makes you think. Even though it was so long ago, everything is still relevant. It's amazing.” 

Thor vowed to go out and buy every book on Plato he could find. 

* 

Friday, just after last bell, saw Loki and Thor huddled together by the school gate. Everyone else had left, but with the weekend stretching out ahead of him, Thor wanted to spend as much time with Loki as he could. It was almost painful to think about 2 days without seeing him. He had a problem, and boy did he know about it. 

“Do you like it here so far?” Thor asked, both because he genuinely wanted to know and because he desperately wanted to prolong the conversation as long as he could.

Loki nodded, after a moment, and Thor hoped with all he had that he wasn't lying. “Yeah, I do. I miss Anchorage, a bit, but there's not much left there for me,” he said, almost darkly, and then looked away, as if he'd admitted much more than he wanted to. 

Thor didn't quite know what to say, because it seemed obvious that Loki hadn't wanted to say what he had. In a bid to avoid an Awkward Conversation he skipped to a subject that he knew Loki would appreciate. 

“Hey, um, you heard the new Dream Theater album?” 

Loki's face lit up, washing away the dark. “Are you kidding? It's _amazing_. I wasn't sure about Mike Portnoy leaving, but they're still just as good. Do you have it?” 

Thor screwed his face up. “No... I keep meaning to, but I just haven't managed to get it yet. I've heard _On the Backs of Angels_ about a billion times though.” 

“You don't have it?” Loki repeated. “I do. Wanna listen to it with me?” 

Thor nearly fell over. He felt like the air had quit his lungs, and was vaguely aware he probably looked like a stunned mullet. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds awesome.” _Better than awesome,_ he thought. Suddenly, his skin felt like it was on fire. 

Loki smiled, and Thor couldn't help it, he couldn't look away. The rest of the world faded away into nothingness because it didn't matter anymore. Everything he needed to live was right in front of him. 

“This weekend?” Loki asked, and for the first time, Thor realised he hadn't looked away either. 

“Yeah,” he said, without stuttering, which was a miracle. “Your place or mine?” He couldn't even believe he was getting to ask that question. 

Loki's face clouded over. “It's probably not best if you come to mine,” he said quietly, as if he was embarrassed. Thor didn't like that he didn't look comfortable. 

“My mom's away on Saturday afternoon if you want to come over to mine then? She won't mind,” he said, crossing his fingers that his mom would really be ok with it. His dad was away on business and sometimes, when it was just the two of them, she liked to keep him to herself. 

Loki smiled. “Sounds good. I just have to ask my parents.” 

Not for the first time, Thor wondered just how strict Loki's parents were about where he went and with whom if he was nearly 18 and still had to ask his parents' permission to visit a friend's house. He had a vision of being interrogated by Loki's father – who, in his fantasy, was 8 foot tall with knives for hands – for his suitability to be Loki's friend. Something inside him shuddered and he pushed the idea away. 

Thor just smiled back instead. 

* 

They spent the night texting after Loki sent him one to say it was ok, he could come over. Thor found himself desperately excited, so excited he almost forget to ask his mother if Loki could actually come over. She didn't seem to mind, and told him to make sure he didn't make a mess (he swore that wasn't him last time, but she refused to believe that Clint would actually climb the drainpipe). 

He nearly dropped the phone when he texted Loki back, and had to take a few deep breaths to readjust himself. He thanked god he wasn't on Skype or something, because that would just be embarrassing. 

The conversation turned from Dream Theater to progressive metal in general, then it skewered sideways off into Iron Maiden and before he knew it, they were texting about hair metal and how Motley Crue still had it, so many years later, even if the golden age had been and gone. 

They were still texting at midnight, and despite the tinge of excitement Thor felt every time he heard his phone beep, his eyelids were drooping and his body was reminding him it was well past his bedtime. 

“Are you always up this late?” he texted Loki, because he didn't want to stop just yet. 

_”Sometimes. Briana not sleeping tonight,”_ Loki replied, and once again Thor had to resist the urge to ask why he was up with her, and not his parents. There was surely a good reason, and if he needed to know, he'd find out one day. 

“How is she?” 

_“Teething!!!!”_ Loki's reply came complete with mountains of exclamation marks, so he had to assume it was a bad thing. He really didn't know much about babies. Just the thought of teething made him run his tongue over his front teeth. 

“Good/bad???” Thor sent back. 

_“Bad :( she won't stop crying and I can't do anything,”_ Loki replied, and Thor could practically feel the helplessness that Loki's text seemed to emit. 

He did something he wouldn't normally do and instead of replying by text, found Loki's number in his contacts and called him, before his courage deserted him. 

“Hey,” he said softly when Loki picked up, and hoped to god he wasn't doing the wrong thing. Too forward? Over the top? Unnecessary? His brain was a mess, even more so than usual. 

“Hey,” Loki said back, and Thor could tell from his tone that he was tired. 

“You ok?” he asked, because if he wasn't, Thor was going to damn well go around there and make sure he was. 

“Yeah, I just... well, she's starting to settle, I think she's tired,” Loki replied, and Thor could hear her grizzling quietly in the background. 

“You sound tired.” 

“I am,” Loki said with a sigh. “You've helped keep me awake, though. Thank you.” 

Something akin to molten pleasure and happiness rushed through his veins. “It's ok,” he said, and he meant every word. Being tired himself suddenly didn't matter. “Why was she crying?” he asked. 

“Her first tooth is coming through, so it hurts,” Loki explained, and Thor heard the gentle creaking of a wooden chair. He wondered if he was rocking Briana to sleep. “I put gel on her gums to numb the pain but sometimes it doesn't help enough.” 

Thor winced. He supposed he'd gone through the same thing, not that he could remember it. Being a baby sounded harder than most people seemed to think it was. 

“Will she feel better soon?” 

“Hopefully,” Loki said quietly, like he didn't wish for anything more in the world, and suddenly Thor's heart ached because one day he hoped that Loki would speak of him like that, with so much love. 

“Me too,” Thor said, and meant it, because Loki happy made him happy. He couldn't remember ever being this soppy before and wondered if babies did that to everyone. If that was the case, he was never having one. This was enough. 

He kept Loki up for a little while longer, until Briana was asleep and Loki could put her down. 

“Thank you,” Loki said, and he sounded so tired Thor wondered how he was even still standing. 

“It's ok,” Thor said, and wanted desperately to be there so he could wrap his arms around him again. 

“I'll see you tomorrow, right? 2.30?” Loki asked. 

“Yeah, 2.30. Now get some sleep, will you?” 

Loki chuckled down the phone, quiet and sleepy. “I think I will.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the great comments! I appreciate each and every one of them, and I'm sorry I can't answer all of them!
> 
> PS. I don't own Dream Theater or Torchwood, as much as I'd like to *sniff*

Thor slept in absurdly late the next day, tired from the late night conversation. His phone was still on his bedcovers when he woke, right where he'd put it down when he said good night to Loki. He'd been so tired he'd fallen asleep right away, and Loki filled his dreams – a vision of Loki with a tiny baby, of the baby screaming while Loki told him to pick up the phone. It was disjointed and confusing, like dreams so often are. He wondered what it meant, but hunger pains ensured he didn't wonder for too long.

* 

He was so nervous about Loki coming over that he rearranged his room – twice - and got told off by his mother for wearing a hole in the carpet by pacing so much. She scolded him and gave him a plate of cookies for the two of them and sent Thor to his room to wait there while she got ready to go out. 

Thor ate three of them before he realised that Loki wasn't even there yet and he shouldn't be so greedy. He shoved the plate on top of his bookshelf. 

* 

Loki was 2 minutes early. Thor knew this because he was laying facedown on his bed, alarm clock in his hands, counting down the seconds until 2.30pm. It was 2.28 and 7 seconds when the door bell rang. He threw the alarm clock away and leapt out of bed, flinging open his bedroom door. He raced his mother to the front door and beat her by half a length. 

“Hi Loki,” Thor said breathlessly, hanging onto the door frame while the rest of his body caught up. 

“Um, hi,” Loki replied, and couldn't hide the laugh he was trying to smother. “Are you ok?” 

Thor nodded rapidly. “Yeah. Sorry.” _Nice going, Thor!_ “Come in.” 

Loki smiled and stepped inside, and for a moment he was so close Thor could smell the shampoo he used. He stopped himself from sniffing deeply just in time. He really didn't want Loki to think he was some disturbed stalker. 

Thor introduced Loki to his mother, who may not have noticed considering she was, at that point, in such a hurry she had mistaken mascara for lipstick and was coating her lips in black. Thor hurried Loki away before he could notice. 

He led Loki upstairs to his room, panicking all the time that maybe he hadn't removed all the embarrassing things, that Loki would see, for the first time, how much of a geek he was and how he still coveted comic books and action figures. In a brief flash he saw Loki laughing at him, and felt his stomach twist like something had grabbed it. Loki would leave him, go away and tell everyone else how silly he was – the thought was so horrible he shook it out of his head. 

He opened the door cautiously, afraid of what Loki would think, and almost felt like justifying his choice of decorations and collections before Loki could disparage him for it. 

But there was none of that, because Loki took in his room with awe – and this time, it wasn't Tony standing there, sniggering at his Deadpool figure and telling him to grow up like had happened so many times before. It was Loki, running a gentle figure over his X-Men figurines and worshipping the Spiderman poster that Stan Lee had signed. 

“This is amazing,” Loki said, a little wistfully, and for a moment Thor felt like telling him he could just have it all, because that look on his face was open and sweet, just beautiful on him. 

Instead, he stammered a “thanks,” and sat down awkwardly on his bed, letting Loki look over his collections, because from that position on his bed he had a great view of Loki's arse. He decided not to say anything. Or move. 

When Loki had inspected all of Thor's collectibles he wandered over to the bed and sat down, and only the barest minimum of self-restraint stopped Thor from grabbing him and testing just how robust his bed was. Thor hoped to god he hadn't been drooling again. 

“How long have you been collecting all this?” Loki asked, gesturing around the room, and it occurred to Thor that for the first time since he'd met him, the worry lines on his face had disappeared. He looked... younger. 

“Years,” Thor said with a shrug, because truthfully, he had no idea. As long as he could remember, he'd loved comic books and collected them with a passion. His parents had humoured him, thinking he'd grow out of it, but it had yet to happen. _At least it's better than porn,_ his mother had sighed, not having yet discovered the stack of it buried under a bundle of comic books. 

“I wish... I wish I still had stuff like this. I had some, in Norway, but we couldn't bring everything with us,” Loki said, his face open and sad. “I'd wanted to bring it, but my mother refused. I still don't know what happened to it all. Maybe she threw it away.” 

Thor swallowed, because he couldn't think of anything to say. He couldn't imagine having his childhood packed up in a box and thrown away because it was too much to deal with. “Well,” he said, twisting his hands in his lap, “if you ever want to remember, you can borrow my things.” 

He hadn't thought of it, just said it, and he was glad he did because Loki's smile was the brightest he'd ever seen. 

“Thank you,” Loki said, after a moment, as if he hadn't been sure what to say. “I'd like that.” 

Thor suddenly realised that the growing heat in his stomach might be what Tasha often lovingly referred to as the “warm fuzzies”. It wasn't a condition he'd ever thought he'd suffer from, but he suspected it wouldn't be the last time as long as he continued to hang around Loki. Which he had every intention of doing. 

“Cookie?” Thor asked, trying vainly to ignore the fuzzies that were now leaping with glee around his stomach. He pulled the plate down from the bookshelf and shoved them at Loki, perhaps a little strongly. 

“Uh, sure,” Loki said, and grabbed a couple. Thor took a few – half the plate – for himself and sat back down rather heavily, nearly throwing Loki off in the process. 

“Sorry,” Thor mumbled through a mouthful of cookie, but Loki didn't seem put out at all – rather, he giggled through his own mouthful so badly he had to press his hand to his mouth. It was his turn to apologise when he recovered. 

Loki looked _bashful_ when he giggled, Thor decided, and it was very endearing. He wanted, _badly_ , to slide closer to him on the bed, to wrap an arm around him, to lean closer and feel his warmth... He wanted to kiss him, feel the softness of his mouth on his, to feel his skin under his fingertips, to love him so deeply he stopped feeling anything else. 

It was almost painful, needing something like that so much, and Thor wondered how he could stand it. Loki was so close, but so far, like there was a chasm between them. Seeing but not having was starting to drive him insane. He wondered if Loki had a clue what he did to him. 

Just to show that he probably didn't, Loki chose that moment to pull the Dream Theater album out of his bag and toss it onto the bed next to Thor. 

“I didn't forget,” he said, with that dazzling smile, and Thor couldn't hold a grudge when such a smile was aimed at him. 

“I knew you wouldn't.” 

He felt Loki's eyes on him as he got up to flip open his laptop. Thankfully, he'd closed all his porn tabs and the only thing showing was a screensaver for Torchwood. He heard a snort from behind him and ignored it, because he didn't feel like explaining to Loki _why_ exactly he'd chosen a screencap of Jack and Ianto dancing. He hurriedly clicked it off. 

There was still a smirk playing around the edges of Loki's mouth as Thor sat back down after setting the album to play. It was playful, nothing mean, and it was so endearingly cute Thor wanted to kiss it away. Thoroughly. 

He could hear the opening strains of _On the Backs of Angels_ as the music filled the room, but strangely, it had ceased to matter. 

“That was a cute picture,” Loki said, teasingly, and Thor's heart strained in his chest. “You didn't have to be embarrassed by it.” 

Thor shrugged, a little bashfully, though he'd been aiming for a more nonchalent look. “Yeah, well, not many of my friends get it.” 

“Do they even watch Torchwood?” Loki probed, one delicate eyebrow raised. 

“Um... no.” 

“Then why do you care?” Loki asked. “If they don't watch Torchwood then they don't know about the relationship between Jack and Ianto. They have no idea why it's so sweet.” 

Thor's heart crash-landed somewhere behind his kidneys. “You think it's sweet?” 

“Of course I do!” Loki looked at him like he was an idiot. “And sad. I still can't watch Miracle Day.” 

“Wow,” Thor remarked. “It's only been... what, two years?” 

“Three,” Loki said, and nodded seriously. 

Thor kept it to a grin at first, but couldn't hold back and found himself laughing. Loki joined in after a few moments, a smile breaking across his face, and they laughed together until they were breathless. 

“I might give it another 4 years and see how the first episode is,” Loki said. 

“I'll buy you the tissues.” 

“I'd appreciate it,” Loki said, with a wry smile. He held it as he looked at Thor, letting it soften, and Thor's heart began to race. He couldn't look away, as if he was locked in place. He felt as though he'd opened everything up inside him for Loki to see and feel. It should have been disconcerting, should have been uncomfortable, but it just _wasn't_. 

His hands itched where they lay, and one raised, as if under its own volition, and he watched through dulled eyes as it reached for Loki's arm. He didn't grip, just held it softly, and felt the warmth of Loki reach down to his bones. Loki relaxed under his touch, and Thor let his fingers rub gently. 

Loki was so pliant under him, so _willing_ , that it made his stomach roil and burn, the heat spreading in waves through him until he heard his heartbeat thunder in his ears and he felt disconnected, separated from his body. The sound of the music reached a crescendo, matching the roaring that still filled his ears. Thor was drowning from the inside out. It was too much, too overwhelming, and he squeezed gently before dropping his touch. There was a flash of disappointment, or _something_ in Loki's eyes and then it was gone, before Thor could truly understand it. 

He wasn't sure what that was, what had happened; he was aware only that he could hear himself breathe and so Loki probably could as well. He forced himself to smile, to pretend everything was normal. 

“Uh, this is good, this album. I think,” Thor blustered, his face on fire, and through the burn he saw Loki bite his lip. 

Loki smiled, almost sadly. “Yeah, it is. They've changed, it's different, but it couldn't not be.” 

They fell silent for a while, just listening to the music, and though Thor thought it would be awkward it wasn't. The music filled the room and swirled around them, intricate and sweeping, and Thor found himself drifting away as he listened. 

He wasn't sure how long he lost himself in the music for, perhaps a few songs – easily 20 minutes or more, when one was speaking of Dream Theater – when he glanced over at Loki again, his green eyes closed as he listened. As he watched, Loki opened them again, as if he knew Thor was watching. A small smile played on his lips but Thor saw only the exhaustion that had began to darken his eyes. He remembered with a thud that Loki had been up so late the night before, and perhaps had not had the privilege of sleeping in like Thor. 

“You can lay down if you like,” Thor said, his voice thick, but full of concern before anything else. 

Loki looked for a moment like he was going to protest, but Thor nodded towards the pillows and Loki gave in. He unlaced his boots and let them drop onto the floor before sliding off his jacket and laying it over Thor's desk chair. 

This could have been all his dreams come true – Loki undressing to lay on his bed – but the stark reality was that Loki was still basically clothed and looked like he was ready to collapse. Thor almost felt bad that he'd invited Loki over, but remembered that Loki had been enthusiastic about coming. All in all, he was feeling a bit confused. 

He watched as Loki crawled further up the bed and lay down, on his side and facing Thor. They stared at each other for a moment before Loki extended a hand, and Thor found himself moving back up the bed to rest beside Loki. 

He forgot about the music as he laid down too, just a foot of space between him and Loki that suddenly didn't seem particularly wide. 

“Thanks for inviting me over,” Loki murmured, and reached down to slide a hand over Thor's where it sat on the blanket. Thor's heart nearly burst with the simple touch. “I'm sorry that I think I'm about to fall asleep. It's not you, I swear.” 

Thor smiled, because even this was more than what he could have hoped for. He turned his hand over so Loki's hand was resting in his palm. “It's ok. I know you were up late.” 

“I kept you up too.” 

“I slept in 'til lunchtime.” 

Loki's eyes widened with a touch of disbelief, then narrowed as he laughed. “That's insane.” 

Thor tightened his grip on Loki's hand. “You don't want to see me if I don't get my 8 hours sleep.” 

“What, you turn into a raging monster?” Loki asked cheekily, and Thor's heart swooped at the sleepy-slash-adorable look on his face. 

“Maybe,” Thor replied, and raised an eyebrow as if asking Loki to challenge him. 

“Maybe I should test that, see if you're telling the truth,” Loki said, his voice almost husky. The look on his face told Thor exactly how he was intending to do that. Thor's pants suddenly tightened so quickly he worried about a loss of circulation to his nether regions. 

“I'd like that,” Thor said, and had to stop himself from sliding onto Loki and allowing him to test it right then and there. 

Loki didn't say anything in reply, just squeezed his hand and smiled, his eyes sleepy. 

Thor laid there and listened to the music as he watched Loki drift off into sleep. 

* 

The room was quiet when Thor awoke, the album having long since finished playing. He'd fallen asleep some time after Loki, despite never quite having his fill of watching him sleep. 

He shifted, stretching his legs, and became slowly aware of something – or someone – pressed up against him. Loki was tucked against him, face pressed into his chest, one arm thrown over Thor's waist. He was still sound asleep, his black hair mussed and billowed against the pillow. Thor had wrapped an arm around him in his sleep and without thinking, tightened it now to bring Loki even closer. 

Loki murmured something but didn't wake, his body relaxing into Thor's grip. He felt warm and heavy in Thor's arms, as if he belonged there. Thor bent and pressed a kiss on his head, unable to stop himself. He wanted to keep Loki there forever, wrapped in the safety of his arms, but for now he knew that all he could do was lay there and enjoy it. 

The sun was warm where it reached in through the open window, bringing with it a small breeze that lifted the loose papers on his desk and swirled them in the air. It looked as though it was coming into early evening, so perhaps they'd slept for a couple of hours. Remembering how tired Loki had been he didn't wake him, just lay there and held him close. 

* 

It was a sudden beeping noise that disturbed Loki and made him shift until he was awake, squirming in Thor's arms. 

“Waz that?” he asked sleepily, squeezing his eyes shut as he readjusted himself to the light. 

“Dunno,” Thor said, because it wasn't his cellphone nor his alarm, and he couldn't think of anything else. 

Loki twisted in his arms until he looked up at Thor. “I think it's my phone,” he said suddenly and groaned, and buried himself deeper into Thor, who didn't protest. 

The beeping stopped, giving them respite, but Loki was well awake now. “I don't want to get up,” he said, his voice muffled by Thor's chest. 

Thor chuckled. “I don't want you to get up either.” Instinct told him to soothe Loki's hair and he did, letting the smooth strands slip between his fingers. Loki obviously enjoyed it because he moaned softly and pressed himself closer. 

Thor wondered if Loki would fall back asleep, and part of him hoped he would so that he could keep on holding him, and another part wanted Loki awake so they could talk and keeping touching. Neither part won in the end, because Loki's phone rung and he had to reluctantly haul himself up to fish it out of his jacket and answer the call. Thor felt bereft, like a part of him was missing. 

He watched Loki as he answered the phone, looking completely dishelleved and half-asleep. Loki spoke quietly so he could hear little, only snippets. He wasn't on the phone for long, and looked a little dismayed when he ended the call. 

“I'm sorry, I have to go home,” he said, suddenly looking even more exhausted than he did before he slept. 

Thor sat up. “Everything ok?” he asked, concerned. 

“Yeah.” Loki sighed. “Briana's screaming and no-one can settle her.” He looked torn, as if part of him needed to go home to be with her, and part of him wanted to stay with Thor. As Thor watched Loki slipped his jacket on and bent to put on his boots. 

Thor was disappointed that Loki had to leave so quickly – it felt like they hadn't actually spent much time together. He didn't want Loki to leave because nothing else could possibly be as good as having him with him. He didn't know what to say. 

Instead, he scooted forwards on the bed until he was next to Loki. He wanted to talk, wanted to say so much, but he just couldn't form the words to say what was in his head – how much he wanted Loki to stay, how much he wanted him around. He thought then of the little baby at home, and without thinking, asked instead what he had been wondering for a while. 

“Why do you need to look after her all the time Loki? Why aren't your parents the ones to stay up with her and comfort her when she screams?” 

Loki stopped moving then, stopped tying his laces. His face froze, as if he couldn't allow anything to escape, and Thor had the sudden feeling that he had said the very wrong thing. 

“I'm sorry,” he blurted, and hoped Loki would forget it, but that look in Loki's eyes told him he wouldn't. 

“No, uh, I'm sorry,” Loki said quietly. “I know it's unfair... on you, I mean.” He paused, like he wasn't sure what to say. “I can't tell you. Not yet, anyway. Maybe one day,” he said, leaving Thor even more confused than he was before. Loki bent back down to finish tying his laces. 

Thor couldn't think of anything to say. Loki seemed almost _distressed_ by his question, though Thor hadn't imagined that there wasn't a good reason that Loki could have given him right then and there. He had the distinct impression now that Loki was hiding something from him. And after that afternoon, holding Loki while he slept, Thor felt a little hurt that Loki couldn't confide in him. 

“I want to tell you,” Loki said suddenly, standing straight and looking Thor in the eye. “But I don't know what you'd think and what you'd do.” He bit his lip again, so hard that Thor hoped he wasn't going to draw blood. “I like you, I like you a lot. I don't... I don't want to ruin anything. For you or for me.” 

Thor was lost for words. He stuttered, while he thought, then gave up and wrapped his hands around Loki's hips, pulling him close to stand between his legs. “I like you too. And please... don't feel that anything is going to make me stop. I don't think I could.” 

Loki smiled down at him, relaxing somewhat, though Thor could tell his guard had not been fully let down. “Can you give me a little time?” Loki asked. “I... I'm just, I'm not ready I think.” 

“Yeah,” Thor said softly, and stood, not taking his hands off Loki as he rose. “When you're ready.” 

Loki moved closer, sliding his arms up and around Thor's head to rest against his shoulders. “Thank you,” he whispered, and moved even closer, and before Thor could even _think_ he'd bent forwards to press his lips against Loki's. 

It was soft, almost chaste, as they cautiously felt their way into the kiss. Thor's head was bursting, so busy he couldn't think, because this was everything he needed and more. Loki pressed into him, his lips gentle and open, and Thor was worried he'd push too far because Loki seemed so easy to break. 

He held Loki like he was delicate, and pressed another lingering kiss to his forehead. 

“Thank you,” Loki whispered, and Thor kissed him again. “For understanding.” 

“It's ok,” Thor murmured, and, unable to resist, pressed a kiss to the end of Loki's nose, making him smile and giggle. 

“I need to get home,” Loki said reluctantly, and Thor had to let him go. 

“Will you be ok? Do you want me to walk you?” 

Loki looked for a moment like he wanted Thor to leave with him, but something dark passed briefly over his face. “I'll be ok. Thanks, though.” 

Thor nodded and let him go, because something within him knew that Loki wouldn't want him to push the issue. 

“I'll see you Monday?” Thor asked, hopefully, and Loki paused at the doorway. He turned and smiled. 

“Of course. Like I'd miss it,” he said, with a cheeky smile, as if the past few minutes hadn't happened. Thor saw the mask but didn't comment. 

“Good. You know you can call or text me any time, right? I mean _any_ time,” Thor said seriously, desperate to have Loki understand. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” Loki said quietly, then smiled again and stepped out of sight. 

Thor knew he should have walked him to the front door, and if his mom was home she'd chew him out for it, but it almost seemed the right place and time to say goodbye. If he'd walked with Loki to the front door he knew he would have had a hard time not leaving with him. 

With a sigh he shut his door and went back to flop on the bed. His pillow still smelt of Loki and he pulled it closer, mimicking how he'd held Loki, and he closed his eyes as he remembered the kisses they'd shared. He couldn't help but wonder how the rest of the day might have gone if Loki hadn't had to leave. 

His erection returned, persistent and throbbing, and he moved a hand down to rub himself through his jeans. He saw, in his mind's eye, Loki above him, leaning down to nuzzle the bulge in his jeans. He unzipped himself and took himself in hand, imagining that it was Loki's hand, then thought of Loki's mouth swallowing his cock and almost came. When he did, it was to an image of Loki below him, legs spread as he took Thor inside him again and again. 

It wasn't the last time that Thor came that night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the awesome comments and I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to them all! I might have a bit more time on my hands now so I'll try from now on :-)

Thor woke the next day still half-naked, undressed from the waist down, his body sticky from sweat. He'd dreamt of Loki too, of them together – their bodies entwined and inseparable. He remembered the kiss from the previous day and felt his lips tingle at the memory. He had a sudden urge to flail madly but resisted, because he was far too old for that kind of behaviour any more.

Instead, he spent the rest of the morning in bed, arms wrapped around the pillow that still smelt of Loki, eyes closed and daydreaming. At one point his mother came in, adamant that since it was 12.30 in the afternoon he ought to get up. He just turned over and buried his head under the sheets, tuning her out. She left at some point, after threatening to call his father, but it was just another of her empty threats – oft exhorted with scant follow-through. So predictable. 

He fell back into a half-sleep, dreaming in and out, but not about Loki. He dreamt of school, of his History test – and a bright red 'F' staining the top corner of the page, a horrid, dark feeling that he was a failure, then his friends and his teacher laughing at him. He roused himself with a start, breathing hard, because in that dream failing his test had been unbearable and humiliating. The test had been and gone, he hadn't failed, so why was he still hung up about it? 

Loki texted him at 1pm, asking him if he was out of bed yet. Thor smiled, a pleasant warmth spreading through his body as the memory of the day before washed over him. In a blink he had forgotten the drowsy half-dream about his test and remembered instead the somewhat explicit details of his dream the night before. He shook his head, trying to forget it as he attempted to be mature over text. 

“ _No,_ ” he texted back, adding a smile. “ _Bet u've been up 4 hours?_ ” 

“ _6am,_ ” came the reply, complete with an eye roll smiley. “ _But I may have had a nap._ ” 

Still hung up on his dream, Thor wondered just what Loki had spent the night dreaming about. 

“ _Pleasant dreams?_ ” Thor asked, deciding that Loki could take that however he wished. 

“ _Rather pleasant,_ ” Loki texted, complete with a wink. 

Thor muffed an undignified shriek as he realized that Loki was apparently on the same wave-length as he was. Things could have gone worse. And besides, Thor could play this game... “ _Care 2 expand???_ ” 

“ _Over a text? Not enough room :D_ ” was the reply, and Thor had to stifle a moan into his pillow. He was about to send something scandalous back to Loki when his phone beeped again. “ _Damn sorry have to go :( will text you later :)_ ”. 

Thor didn't hold back a groan this time. “ _Thanks 4 the tease :P_ ” he texted back, adding half a billion love hearts for emphasis. Loki had hooked him and hung him up to dry, leaving him hard as a rock. He slid the phone back onto his bedside table and tugged down his boxers, taking himself in hand. When he came, desperate and aching, he had to clamp his hand down hard over his mouth so his mother wouldn't hear Loki's name as he cried out. 

* 

Loki texted him back later that night, apologizing for needing to go and asking if Thor had forgiven him for it. Thor was happy to read between the lines, still operating from his hind-brain like the lovesick teenager he was. 

“ _After a little thought & other things;)_” he sent, and smiled, wondering again which way Loki was going to take it. 

Loki's reply came swift. “ _... and what other things are we talking about here? :P_ ” 

Thor grinned. " _Id tell u but then Id have 2 kill u ;)_ " 

" _Well, if it's worth it.... or maybe it's not? ;P_ " 

_“Ouch!”_ Thor thought to himself. 10 points to Slytherin. Quite keen to make sure Loki was under no illusions as to what he was and was not capable of, Thor fired one back quickly. “ _Happy 2 show u how it is worth it.... ;)_ ” 

He sat back on his bed and took a deep breath as he waited for Loki's reply. Despite his energetic activities earlier he could feel his jeans tightening again, and, not for the first time, wondered just what the fuck Loki was doing to him. He palmed himself gently, hoping that all those warnings about hairy palms and going blind weren't really true. 

“ _Challenge accepted ;)_ ” Loki buzzed back, and the mere thought of he and Loki having sex was enough for him to groan and drop the phone onto his mattress to unzip his jeans and wrap a hand around his cock. He wasn't going to last; the fantasy dancing in his head was too vivid, too strong. 

Before he could finish anything, his phone buzzed again and made him jump. “Fuck,” he muttered, and pulled his hands from inside his jeans as if his grandmother had just given him a swipe over the knuckles with a wooden ruler. 

It was Loki, and he was going to drive Thor crazy. “ _Stop touching yourself.... :P_ ” read the text message, and Thor was certain he wasn't going to come out of this alive. He had to look around for a second, just to make sure Loki wasn't peering in his windows or something. 

Cock aching and slippery, he wiped his hand on the bed covers and texted hurriedly back. “ _Dont tell me u arent_ ” he wrote, and gasped as he slid a hand back onto his erection. Part of him marvelled at the sheer thought that he even had the balls to even do this, but a significantly larger part was cartwheeling through a sudden influx of explosive hormones. 

He was close, painfully close, when Loki texted back: “ _I won't then ;)_ ”. It was enough to flood Thor's brain with a thoroughly debauched image of Loki doing something very naughty, and enough to make him come suddenly and unexpectedly all over his comforter. His mom was going to be _pissed_. 

It took him a few moments to recover, painfully conscious that his door wasn't locked and he had a very suspicious new stain on his bed. His phone stayed silent, and he wondered just what Loki was doing that he couldn't keep texting. His cock gave an interested twitch. 

If his brain was working he would have shown Loki that two could play that game, but he could barely string two words together as it was. “ _Thats nt fair,_ ” he texted back. “ _U owe me a new blanket._ ” 

“ _Then use a towel, like I do :P_ ,” Loki texted back a few seconds later, and Thor nearly dropped his phone again. He had a sudden and desperate desire to see just what it was that Loki did to necessitate the use of a towel. 

He was hard again, his blood once again deserting his brain, and that made him bold, though Tasha was sure to say _stupid_. “ _A towel? Explanation needed ;)_.” 

“ _Can show you... ;)_ ” came the reply, and Thor was lost again. He worked his hand until he made an even bigger mess, and wondered how he could sneak the comforter into the washing machine without his mother noticing. 

* 

Thor, not surprisingly, slept so well that night he missed his alarm and had to be woken by his distraught mother. 

“Thor! For goodness sakes, wake up! You'll be late! And what on _earth_ have you done to your bed?” 

“Uh.... spilled my coke?” Thor said dazedly, still in shock from being woken so harshly. He'd been having a perfectly pleasant dream about he and Loki and a towel. 

She tsked and pulled his blinds up so swiftly they screamed from the treatment. Sun poured in and he suddenly realized it was Monday and _no_ he could not sleep in and go back to that dream. But Monday meant _school_ , which meant Loki, which meant he leapt out of bed quite quickly and frightened his mother. 

“Well, get dressed,” she said, still surprised by Thor's turn of foot. “Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes.” She left him alone and shut the door behind her. 

He dressed so quickly he put his shirt on inside out, and though it wouldn't have been the first time he'd gone to school in such a state he figured it would do nothing to impress Loki. After rectifying the problem he pulled the comforter from his bed, hoping to get it in the wash before his mother got a closer look and realized that the coke he'd deliberately poured on it was just barely covering thick white stains. 

He tripped on the edge going down the stairs and nearly killed himself, but tackled it into the washing machine and got it turned on before his mother called him for breakfast. He was nervous and could barely stomach food, but he choked down a piece of toast just to avoid an awkward conversation about how carbohydrates were good for him. 

* 

It wasn't until he was walking to school that he started to panic. What if he'd been too forward when they were texting yesterday? What if he'd been misinterpreting everything and Loki _didn't_ actually like him? What if... What if... 

His mind threw scenario after scenario at him until he was positively convinced that Loki hated him and he ought to run back home and hide under his bed. He was so distracted he didn't realise that he'd even made it to school until Tony tried to trip him up. He stumbled and nearly fell into Steve, who wasn't impressed. 

“What's up with you?” Tasha asked, because she had always been able to read him like a book. 

“Nothing,” Thor replied, far too quickly. He could _see_ her brain ticking over. 

“Where's Lover Boy?” Clint asked, looking around, and it was like a kick in the guts. Did they _know?_ Did Loki tell everyone, just to make them laugh at him when it all turned out to be a bad joke? 

“Thor?” Tasha asked quietly, gripping his arm. “Everything ok?” 

Thor swallowed his nerves. “Yeah, yeah, sure,” he blustered, and knew damn well she could see right through him. She seemed to understand he didn't want to talk in front of the others and gave him a tight smile that said _we'll talk later_. 

He stood with his friends and waited for the bell, and for Loki, who didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. His chest tightened, hoping that Loki was ok, and he compulsively checked his phone to see if Loki was trying to text him. There was nothing, and he tried not to panic. He didn't want to text Loki in case it came off as being a little too concerned and a little too stalkerish. Thor was confused. He just wanted everything to be alright. 

The clock was ticking; it was almost first bell, and it was Clint who spotted Loki first. “Oh, there's Lover Boy.” 

Thor's head snapped up, his eyes darting down the street, and sure enough, Loki was nearly at school. He breathed a sigh of relief and felt his entire body relax. 

“Hey,” he murmured, as Loki approached him, smiling. 

“Hey to you,” Loki said back, and for a moment, one precious moment, they were the only people in existence. Thor panicked again then, because he wanted to lean down and kiss him, but they had only kissed once and that was in the privacy of his bedroom – would Loki even _want_ him to kiss him in front of the others? What if his apocalyptic scenarios were real and Loki didn't even like him? The moment passed though, because the others were greeting Loki, all except Tasha, who peered at Thor with an eyebrow raised and half a smile on her face. 

* 

Thor fretted through the first two periods, twisting pencils through his fingers. By the time the bell for his study period rang, he had three broken pencils and potential lead poisoning. 

* 

Loki was waiting for him outside his classroom, which he wasn't expecting. Something inside him sang, because the smile that Loki gave him told him everything he needed to know. Wary of Tony accusing them of PDA, he settled for sliding a hand around Loki's waist and squeezing before letting go. 

“Did you get those stains out of your comforter?” Loki asked, turning a cheeky smile onto him. 

Thor laughed. “It's in the wash as we speak. You'd better hope the stains actually come out or you'll be buying me a new one.” 

Loki's smile turned from cheeky to downright teasing, and Thor was sure he was going to say something incriminating right out there in the middle of the bustling corridor when Steve and Tony came up behind them, arguing about something. 

“Look, Tony, I just don't think it's a good idea.” 

“It's one study period Steve, just _one!_ ” 

“I have a test next week, I need to study!” 

“Study at home. Study during psycholinguistics or whatever the heck it is you do that you try and use on me.” 

“It's _psychology_ , Tony.” 

“Whatever, man. Just, come with me, please?” Tony gave Steve such a pleading look that Thor almost felt like jumping in on his side. 

Inevitably, Steve sighed and gave in. “Fine. Just this once.” He looked exasperated but there was a touch of affection mingled in there somewhere, and he broke out into a smile when Tony cursed with happiness and gave him half a hug. 

“What was that?” Loki whispered, leaning against Thor as he did. 

“Oh, Tony has to sneak out of school at least once every week or he feels he's not contributing to his delinquent identity. He's starting to corrupt Steve now,” Thor whispered back, and the look on Loki's face was priceless. 

“But... what...” Loki started, clearly confused, and they nearly left him behind in the corridor when the rush of people started to move towards the doors and sunshine. Thor grabbed his hand and pulled him along, and was somewhat gratified that Loki gripped him back and didn't want to let go. 

They followed Steve and Tony, who'd moved onto something else to argue about, through the halls and outside, where streams of students were finding classmates and settling down for a break. They found Tasha, Clint, and Bruce under the tree by the field again. It wasn't until Thor spotted Tasha giving him a strange look that he realised he was still holding Loki's hand. She stayed silent, but Clint didn't. 

“Wow. You two. Didn't see that coming or anything,” he said dryly, and Tasha smacked him between his shoulder blades. Steve and Tony turned as one, as if seeing them for the first time that day, and Bruce just looked confused. 

Thor felt his face burn red with embarrassment, and fought his first instinct, which was to drop Loki's hand. He wasn't going to let the others shame him into protesting anything different, especially when he knew they didn't really care anyway. He just hoped that Loki was ok with this – it wasn't like they'd even talked properly about this thing that was happening between them. 

“What about it?” Thor asked, trying hard to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. Loki shot him a smile. 

“Nothing,” Clint said, and shrugged. “But you just lost me $20. I don't even _have_ $20. Now I gotta find someone to borrow it off to pay Tasha. Tony?” 

“What, man? I lent you $40 last week when you bet Tasha that she couldn't sit through three classes she wasn't enrolled in and not be noticed and you _lost_ , might I remind you, quite badly. That was nice work, Tasha, I'm your biggest fan. Oh, and Clint, I'll have you know that my interest rate on personal loans is 50%.” 

_“50%!_ What the hell, Tony, that's insane!” 

“60% now.” 

“Oh for fuck's sake...” 

“70.” 

“I can't afford that Tony, you know that!” 

“That's business, baby. Don't make money being nice.” 

“Oh c'mon Tony!” That was from Steve, who always stood up for the underdog and was very reliable in doing so. “Play nice. It's not like you need the money.” It was his turn for puppy dog eyes. 

Tony just looked at him for a moment, clearly fighting a major internal battle between Steve and money. Steve won. “Oh _fine_. I'll wipe your stupid debt Clint. But you owe me. And no, I will not lend you money today. You can work off your debt with Tasha, washing her windows or brushing her hair or whatever it is you two do that I don't want to know about.” 

_“Brushing my hair?”_ Tasha asked, looking a little horrified. 

“Come on darling, you know I'm brilliant with a brush!” Clint sang, sinking down next to her to mess up her hairstyle. 

“Get away from me, I don't know you at all.” 

“Are they usually all like this?” Loki whispered. 

“I'm afraid so,” Thor said gravely, and tugged on Loki's hand until they were sitting together, side-by-side. “It's not too late to renounce them completely.” 

“Hmmmm... Well, it's entertaining at least, I guess.” 

“You should see them when they're drunk.” 

“What about you?” Loki asked quietly, and when Thor turned, he was close, smiling gently. 

“Me? I'm normal, unlike these idiots.” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“I am! Did I tell you about the time Clint climbed onto the roof of the gym and then couldn't get down? They had to call the fire-brigade. No seriously, this happened. Ask anyone. I even got pictures, they're on my laptop. I'll show you later. Then there's the time Tasha pretended to be a substitute teacher for a freshman English class. She only got busted when she got her Shakespeare mixed up with American classics and thought _The Merchant of Venice_ involved a whale. Bruce has blown up three science labs and four freshmen. Steve once stopped a football match to rescue an injured bird by tackling the player with the ball and holding him ransom until they stopped playing. Tony swapped the plaque for the principal's car park for one with his name on it and parked in it for a week. These, Loki, are the types of people you've chosen to hang out with.” 

“And you're perfectly normal?” 

“Yes. Completely.” 

“Did Thor tell you about the time he dyed his hair the school colours for the last homegame of the season and it didn't come out for 3 weeks because he bought the semi-permanent stuff and not the wash-out stuff? Or the time he forgot which locker was his and broke into the locker that belonged to the captain of the lacrosse team?” 

“Thanks Tony.” 

“No worries, man.” 

Beside him, Loki had his head in his other hand, giggling quietly. “It wasn't that bad! The color washed out eventually and Hopkins never found out it was me!” Thor insisted. Loki didn't stop giggling but he did manage to shake his head. “Anyway, it's not like anyone's ever had to call the emergency services for me,” Thor said, almost morosely. 

“It's ok Thor, there's still time,” Bruce said seriously. 

“If you'd climbed the goalposts like I told you to I would have phoned an ambulance for you when you fell off,” Tony said consolingly. 

“Thanks man. That's sweet.” 

“I know, I know.” 

Things seemed to quieten down after that, while everyone settled down to eat or catch up on any homework due that day. Tasha was reading _The Great Gatsby_ while Clint ate his way through 4 sandwiches next to her. Bruce and Tony were quietly arguing over a physics textbook and Steve had his sketchpad, pencil working quickly and carefully over the page. 

Next to him, Loki shifted closer and rested his head on Thor's shoulder, and everything was peaceful. 

* 

The day passed quietly, and _contently_ , as if everything in the universe was just _right_ and in rhythm. He missed Loki during the periods after study, but he was happy knowing that he'd be there at lunch, then at History, then again after school. He felt almost like he was bubbling over, that there was so much good stuff in him he couldn't hold it all in. Sometimes he couldn't sit still, like something inside him was trying to get out. He wondered if Loki felt the same – like everything had changed. And the thing was, he wanted everyone to know – wanted everyone to know that he and Loki were together, that even after such a short time together he knew how badly he needed him. Something had changed inside him the first time he saw Loki, as if Loki was the next part of his life, ready now to start happening. It was madness, it was stupidity, it was _love_ and Thor was head over heels. 

* 

Tasha was there, waiting outside his classroom as the lunch bell went. That wasn't a Tasha thing to do, to stalk him like that, but he knew why she did it. 

“So?” she hissed, leaning conspiratorially close to him. “What happened?” 

Thor shrugged, and looked around for prying eyes. “I asked him around to my place on Saturday, he came, we kissed. That's what happened.” 

“No sex?” She looked almost disappointed, like he'd let her down. 

“Not yet,” he said, and decided not to mention their text conversation the previous morning. 

She pursed her lips. “Take your time then. And tell me when you do.” 

“Like I'm going to ring you up in the middle of sex!” 

“You're no fun Thor.” 

Everyone was at their usual table in the cafeteria, and Thor rushed through buying lunch so the space that Loki had left open beside him wasn't pinched by someone really oblivious. He was feeling bold enough (and desperate enough, considering it was nearly a full two hours since he'd last seen Loki) to give Loki a quick kiss on the cheek as he sat down. Loki went red and Tony catcalled, but the smile on Loki's face was worth it. 

“Mmmm, guys, before I forget – party, my place, Friday night. You're all coming. No excuses. Including you, newbie,” Tony said, pointing a fork laden with potato at Loki, who looked rather pleased to be invited. 

“Your dad away?” Clint asked, and Thor figured he was probably already mentally calculating how much alcohol they could buy before then. 

“Yup. Alllll weekend. Well, actually, he's leaving on Wednesday night, but _someone_ thinks we shouldn't have a party on a school night.” Tony had swerved around in his seat to face Steve, who looked slightly exasperated. 

“Last time you had a party Tony no-one went home until 4 in the morning. I _think_ the teachers would notice something was up the next day. Then do you think your dad will let you stay home alone again?” Steve pointed out, one righteous eyebrow raised. 

“Hmm, good point, Captain Fantastic. What would I do without you?” 

“Hack into the World Bank?” 

“Apart from that.” 

Steve and Tony continued, caught up in their own little world, and Loki turned to Thor and smiled as if to say _aren't they cute_. Thor laughed and nodded, and since when had they started not needing to talk to communicate? 

By the end of lunch full-blown plans had been drawn up for the party, although where Tony was going to find an inflatable army tank Thor had no idea. He was looking forward to being with Loki away from school, away from home and their parents and restrictions. The Stark mansion was the biggest in town, and there were plenty of rooms. He hoped Loki had the same idea as he did. 

* 

History that day was on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. Thor always found assassinations to be generally interesting, despite their macabre pretexts. He even managed to pay attention today, even with Loki so close and so distracting. 

“Does history have to be about people killing other people for it to be interesting to you?” Loki asked as they left, but it was cheeky, not accusatory. 

“Wellll...” Thor shrugged. “I wouldn't say that, but blood helps.” 

Loki shook his head and laughed, and Thor wanted nothing more than to grab him and kiss him, hard, in front of everybody. He settled for looking at him fondly. 

“So, you're coming this Friday, right?” Thor asked, a sudden thickness in his throat belying his fear that Loki would say no. 

“I have to ask my parents, but I'm pretty sure they'll be ok with it,” Loki said, not meeting Thor's eyes. 

“Ok,” Thor said quietly, because again there was that feeling that Loki wasn't telling him everything. He knew he couldn't expect Loki to just open up and tell him his life-history just because they'd kissed, but at the same time he didn't like that something was making Loki upset and he couldn't make it better because he didn't know what it was. 

Loki, his head still down, walked closer and Thor felt his hand slip into his. Loki's grip was firm, like he wanted to say something but this was the only way he could tell him, and all Thor could do was squeeze back. 

They walked together, silently, until Thor had to go left down his street and Loki had to go straight ahead. 

“Text me,” Loki said, almost desperately, as if he didn't want Thor to go. 

“I will,” Thor reassured, and knew it was no good asking Loki to come over. He knew what he would say. He pulled Loki closer and without giving a damn who might be around to see, kissed him like he'd never see him again.


	7. Chapter 7

By Wednesday, Thor had nearly run out of texts on his phone – it was another week before his account was renewed, so this was a problem. He texted Loki when he got home from school, in the mornings before he left, during classtime when he wasn't supposed to have his phone at all, and at night, especially when Loki was up.

They talked about everything – school, their friends, their families, music, religion, sports, even major world issues, which apparently Loki was quite well-read in. Though, to Thor's dismay, they hadn't expanded on the whole 'let's be naughty over text' thing that had exhausted his nether regions earlier in the week. He guessed that Loki was tired – he often texted at 2am in the morning, or thereabouts – and didn't push it, as much as he wanted to. 

Tony's plans for the party were being rushed into – so much so that Steve became concerned and suggested that they tone it down a bit and leave out the fireworks and the live band. As Steve was the only person that Tony would listen to he reluctantly acquiesced, and the party of the century became a 'let's hang out and drink' party instead. Thor wasn't too concerned – he wasn't planning on partaking in any of Tony's planned activities anyway. 

Word had gone around school that Thor and Loki were dating. Thankfully, apart from a few homophobic grumbles no-one took potshots at their sexuality – Thor's wasn't exactly a revelation for those that knew him, but Loki was a blank slate. It was the _jealousy_ that was the problem. Those same girls who eyed up Loki when he arrived had now made Thor their Number One Enemy. Tony thought it was freaking _hilarious_ that Thor got nasty notes in his locker and things thrown at him occasionally. Loki was just bewildered. 

“But don't they get that I don't like girls?” Loki asked him at lunch on Wednesday after a group of girls passed them and threw glares at Thor that would have killed a small mammal. 

“Apparently that doesn't matter. You're cute.” 

Loki screwed up his face. “But I wouldn't date them anyway. They're being awfully childish.” 

Thor decided not to mention that he'd started throwing things back. “Let's just ignore them. Come on, lunch'll be gone by the time we get there.” He took Loki's hand, squeezed it, and poked his tongue out at a group of pissed-off girls over his shoulder. 

* 

Thor could barely sit through the last two periods of the day. He tuned out everything and watched the clock instead, imploring it to move faster, because Loki had convinced his parents to let him go to Thor's that afternoon (for only two hours and not a minute more, mind). All he could think about was finally having Loki alone, and all to himself. No Tony telling them to stop kissing (“it's _disgusting!”_ ) or Clint watching them together like it was his favourite porno. 

His teacher let them out on the final bell and he waited for Loki outside Classics, where Steve had managed to bail him up to talk about Homer. Thor wasn't sure what _The Simpsons_ had to do with Classics, but he let Steve finish before he pounced on Loki and dragged him away by his hand. 

Loki laughed, his fingers tightening around Thor's. “Impatient, are we?” 

“Whatever gave you that impression?” 

They walked hand-in-hand home, talking quietly. It was a nice afternoon but Thor barely noticed, because he had something far nicer to look at. His mom wasn't home – which was a blessing, she didn't know about Loki yet – and his father was still away on his business trip, which was even better. He grabbed them both cold sodas from the fridge and led Loki upstairs. 

His room was stuffy and warm from being closed all day, so he opened the window and pulled the blinds down – he didn't underestimate Clint's ability to climb buildings, even if he wasn't very good at getting down yet, and the neighbour's roof would have made a great vantage point. 

Loki was already sitting down when he turned back around, and he placed his open can safely away on the bedside table before sitting next to him. 

“Hey,” he said softly, and waited for Loki to smile before he leaned in and kissed him. He took his time, savouring Loki's taste, still somewhat _giddy_ that he could even do this. He ran his hand up Loki's arm to his neck and gripped it softly, rubbing his thumb across Loki's soft skin. There was a hand on his waist, pulling him closer, pushing up his t-shirt until there were delicate fingers stroking his skin. 

He pulled Loki up the bed to lay down, their legs tangled. Loki pressed into him, his mouth finding Thor's collarbone and sucking gently. Thor leaned back to give him room, body tensing because _holy hell_ that felt amazing. Loki's tongue darted out to lick his skin before his mouth closed around it again, and Jesus Christ when in the hell did Loki learn that? 

Thor was pretty sure he was trembling, which in and of itself might have been a little embarrassing, but it felt so good he decided to ignore it. Then Loki licked his way up to his ear to bite gently at his earlobe and he couldn't hold in a gasp. 

“Holy shit...” he breathed, arms tightening around Loki as he drove him mad. He felt Loki giggling underneath him and joined in because he couldn't _not_ \- his body was tingling and on fire, and he had never been with anyone else like _this_ before. 

Loki wriggled up to kiss him, and Thor clutched at his waist and rolled him over, straddling his hips. He wasn't a stranger to sex but he'd never been this intimate with anyone before – sex had always been a fast-paced and explosive event that never went beyond quick kisses, penetration and orgasm, so whatever Loki had done, he'd done it a heck of a lot better than Thor had. 

He figured it was never too late to learn. He turned the tables on Loki and licked the exposed skin of his shoulder, slowing down and slowing down until he felt Loki gasping underneath him. He licked up to his ear and tried to remember what Loki had done to his – he could hardly remember, he'd been in a state of ecstasy at the time – so he bit delicately at first, and then apparently a little too hard because Loki squeaked and pushed against him - _bad form, Thor!_ he could practically hear Tony say. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, feeling a bit stupid, but Loki shook his head and told him it was ok. 

“Don't stop,” Loki whispered, pulling Thor down for a quick kiss. “I like it.” 

“Good,” Thor murmured, and kissed him again. 

He tried again, suckling at Loki's earlobe and licking the soft skin, and this time he felt Loki relax under him, his breathing deep and shaky. He wrapped his hands around Loki's waist and started to rub, gently massaging, and knew Loki appreciated it when he started to moan. His green eyes fluttered open as Thor pushed his hands under his shirt, pushing it up to expose his stomach. 

“Mmmm, no...” Loki said quietly, sitting up and dislodging Thor who fell to the side. “I'm sorry,” he said, and tugged his shirt down, face looking down and away. 

Thor's first thought was to protest, that he thought that Loki wanted this to go further, but Loki looked as though something had upset him and he immediately thought he'd screwed up. “I'm sorry, if I went too far...” 

Loki shook his head. “It's not that, it's... something else. I just... I'm really sorry. I should go.” 

“Loki!” Thor cried, making a grab for his hand as Loki began to climb off the bed. He just couldn't understand what had happened. “Did I do something?” 

“No, it's not you. Really,” Loki said, and smiled, but it was forced. 

“Well, look, you can still stay? Please? We don't have to do anything. Just watch TV or something?” Thor pleaded. 

Loki looked a little reluctant, but started to relax. “Ok.” 

“Cool,” Thor said, with no little relief. He was horribly confused – not to mention horribly turned on – and desperately afraid he'd fucked everything up. He stood up to find the remote and turn the TV on, and waited until Loki had climbed back on the bed and was comfortable before he sat down next to him, leaving a space. 

They watched _Mythbusters_ for a while without speaking, until Loki suddenly spoke up. “I meant what I said. It wasn't you. It's just... something I'm not sure about right now.” 

For Thor, that didn't clear anything up. He still felt like he'd done something wrong. This wasn't going the way he was hoping _at all._ “Sex?” he asked, worried that Loki would say yes. 

“No, sex is ok. It's not that.” 

“Can you tell me?” 

“Not yet.” 

Another secret. Thor couldn't help but think that whatever it was that Loki was scared of – that he couldn't tell him – had something to do with what he couldn't tell him the other day. He wasn't sure how to feel about this. He knew he and Loki hadn't known each other for long, but he felt like they were so good together it shouldn't matter – they should be able to be comfortable with each other. 

Loki sighed, and looked miserable, and Thor felt his heart ache. Hoping like hell Loki wasn't going to reject this advance, he wriggled closer and wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulder. He could feel Loki tense underneath him at first, but then he relaxed, sighed again and dropped his head onto Thor's shoulder. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “For understanding.” 

Thor wasn't sure what it was that he was understanding, but he wasn't going to argue. 

* 

Later that night, after Loki had gone home and Thor had reluctantly cleaned up after dinner, he lay on his bed and stared at his phone. Usually by now one or the other had started texting, but now everything had become a little confusing. He'd pulled Loki in for a kiss just before he left, and it was enthusiastically received and returned, but all the same, he hoped that whatever had gone wrong before wouldn't continue to make things awkward. 

He sighed and flopped back on the pillows. He needed Tasha. 

* 

She ended up calling him after his texts became more and more confused. 

“Thor, what the hell is going on? I can't understand your texts.” 

By then, Thor had convinced himself that he'd royally fucked it all up and Loki hated him. He was almost in tears. “I don't fucking know! We were making out and then he told me to stop and he wanted to leave...” 

“Christ Thor, what did you do?” 

“I don't _know!_ That's the problem! Loki kept telling me it was him, not me, but what if it isn't and he's just being nice?” 

“Well what were you doing right before he told you to stop? And nothing graphic, please.” 

“Don't worry, we didn't get that far,” Thor said miserably. “I was licking his ear, and um, I had my hands around his waist... I started pushing his shirt up and then he told me to stop.” 

“So maybe he's frigid and thought you wanted to have sex.” 

“Trust me, he's not frigid,” Thor said, remembering their text messages. 

“Well how do you know? Have you been lying to me? Have you guys already done it and you just haven't told me cos you're a jerk?” 

“No, Tasha, we haven't done it... we just, ya know, texted a few times.” 

“You... wait, you two were _sexting?_ ” she asked, almost incredulous. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.” 

“Christ. Can you send me the texts?” 

“NO Tasha!” 

“Fine, fine...” Thor could practically hear her blowing her hair out of her face over the phone. “And you haven't spoken to him since?” 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“I'm not sure he'd appreciate it.” 

“Well, why don't you just try?” 

“... Because...” 

“Because why? Stop being a wimp, Thor, or I'll tell Tony.” 

“Tasha! That's not fair!” 

“That's life. **Text. Him.** Now. Seriously. Get off the fucking phone and just text him.” 

“But what do I say?” Thor whined. 

“I dunno! What do you normally say to each other? Just go for something normal. Don't mention The Incident.” 

“Fine.” 

“Can you do that, or do you need me to hold your hand?” 

“I'll be fucking fine Tasha, thanks for your help.” 

“Well fuck you too. See ya tomorrow, and let me know how it goes, ok?” 

“Yeah, I will,” Thor said. “Thank you.” 

“No problem.” Then she hung up, and Thor had run out of excuses. 

He checked his phone again, just in case Loki had texted him while he was talking, but there was nothing. He opened a blank text and just sat there for a while, fingers poised over the keys. 

In the end, he disregarded what Tasha told him. “ _Hey, u doing ok?_ ” he asked, and added a love heart, because really, no matter what Clint said, he was a romantic at heart. The second he sent it he panicked, because maybe he shouldn't have, he should have listened to Tasha... 

But there was nothing he could do – his text was out there in text-space, flying to Loki's phone, and it wasn't like he could pluck it out of thin air and destroy it. He could only hope that Loki would reply, and in a good way. 

It was utter misery waiting. He stared at his phone, counting down the seconds and then the minutes that went by without a reply. He'd just about given up and was about to throw his phone across the room in anger when it beeped. He opened the text without even looking at who sent it. 

“ _Yeah, I'm good :) Sorry about before. Can we try again? :)_ ” 

Thor was so relieved he could have cried – again. Loki didn't hate him, didn't think he was a loser. His fingers scrambled over the keys as he sent his reply. “ _Anytime u want :)_ ”. 

Loki's text came back almost straight away. “ _Friday? ;)_ ” it said, and Thor knew he meant Tony's party. 

“ _Yes. Please! If there is anything u dont wnt me 2 do, its ok_ ” he sent, hoping to avoid another Incident. 

“ _Can we talk about that? Maybe on Fri_ ”. 

Thor breathed a sigh of relief. “ _Yeah :)_ ”. 

“ _Awesome :)_ ”. 

And then, everything seemed back to normal. 

* 

Thor woke the next day exhausted from the night before, having stayed up til 2am to talk to Loki over text. He was happy though, glad Loki wasn't pissed at him, though still a little disappointed that they hadn't progressed beyond what they had. He had Tony's party to look forward to though. 

He wasn't sure how much Loki was going to tell him, but he hoped that he could trust him to know that whatever it was, he didn't care. Loki was perfect just the way he was, and he didn't want Loki to think that he had to hide things or pretend to be someone he wasn't. 

* 

Loki stayed close to him that day, as if he was desperate to assure Thor that he still wanted him, and Thor didn't mind. He took Loki away to a secluded part of the school at lunchtime and attempted to show him just how much he still wanted him. Just kissing, of course. 

* 

Thor woke on Friday morning with butterflies in his stomach. Today was the party, and if everything went to plan – sex. He was so nervous he couldn't eat breakfast, and ended up getting a lecture on the importance of carbohydrates. He pretended to listen. 

He met Loki halfway to school, and they walked the rest of the way hand-in-hand, ignoring Tony's whistles as they came in through the school gate. 

“Fuck off, Tony,” Thor told him, and flipped him the finger. 

“Oh hey woah woah woah...” Tony flipped his hands up as if he was surrendering. “No need to use foul language, Mr Odinson. Your invitation to tonight's party is subject to conditions, one of which, might I remind you, is that it can be rescinded at any time. Hence forth, you might find yourself uninvited, and your stunning date might be there all alone... surrounded by lonely, single men...” 

“Tony!” 

“What? I have rights too, you know!” 

“Yeah, the right to not be an ass,” Clint grumbled. 

“Oh, come on Clint like _you_ can talk...” 

Thankfully, the bell rung. 

* 

Thor wasn't the only one with the jitters that day. Tony looked eager to get home and finish arranging everything, and Steve looked eager to follow him to make sure he didn't do anything too extreme. Clint and Tasha were both keen partiers and even Bruce was coming (Tony had bribed him with the right to invade his scientific library and take whatever he wanted). They talked of nothing else over lunch. 

* 

When school had finally finished, and students were pouring out of the gates in various degrees of excitement, Thor found Loki and walked him home as far as he could. 

“Do you want me to pick you up tonight?” Thor asked him. “Mom said I could use her car.” 

“Yeah,” Loki said, smiling. “That'd be good. What time?” 

Thor bit his lip. “Um, 7?” 

Loki nodded. “7 is good. I have be home by 1, though,” he said, almost as if he was embarrassed. 

“That's cool. I'll get you home by then, I promise.” He leaned forward and kissed Loki, barely able to keep his mind off that night. It seemed Loki couldn't either, because when they parted he had the most wicked grin on his face. 

* 

Thor spent so long in the shower his mother had to bang on the door to get him out. “Hot water isn't free, you know!” she called through the wood, and Thor grumbled and turned it off. 

He paid extra attention to his hair and what he wore, moreso than he normally would for one of Tony's parties, where anything went. No matter what he did though, his palms wouldn't stop sweating. 

When it was 6.45pm, and time to go to Loki's to pick him up, Thor double-checked he had everything. Phone, keys... then realised what it was that he had almost forgotten. He dug around in his top drawer and found a box of condoms and a small bottle of lube, and zipped them into a pocket of his leather jacket so his mother wouldn't spot them. 

“See you later, mom,” he said as he breezed through the living room, hoping like hell she wasn't interested in giving him one of those 'talks', because there was nothing better for one's libido than having your mom give you the sex talk. 

“Bye, darling! Be home before 3am!” 

“No worries...” Thor said under his breath, deciding he wasn't going to mention he'd be home even earlier than that, because then she'd ask questions and it would be Awkward. 

* 

He felt a small sense of irony as he drove up to Loki's house. No more than a month ago he'd been stuck behind a bush, eyeing up Loki, whom he hadn't even known back then. So much had changed. 

He rang the bell and hopped nervously from step to step. He just hoped to god nothing had gone wrong and Loki could still come. 

It was Loki's grandmother who answered the door, the same lady who had been there when he'd taken Loki home that day, and as if the Fates were sharing in his irony she was carrying Briana again. 

“Oh, it's you dear. Loki will be down in a minute,” she said, and smiled. “Come in.” Thor couldn't help but like her. She was the epitome of a grandmother. Both of his were back in Norway, and he'd only seen them twice when they came over for holidays. 

He stepped in slowly, trying hard not to look like he was being nosy as he looked around. There were still moving boxes stacked up in piles, but for the most part the house looked well-organised and tidy. The only sign of disorganisation – apart from the boxes – was the vast array of baby toys on the living room floor. There was a baby gym and a colourful mat, and a box full of toys. He saw boxes of unopened diapers on the dining room table and clean baby bottles on the kitchen bench. It was very clear that a baby lived here. 

It was a moment before he realised he was alone – Loki's grandmother had gone off to fetch him. He stood awkwardly for a moment, until he realised the wall behind him was full of photographs. There were family portraits and photos of Loki from when he was younger – and he was downright _cute_ back then, clearly nothing had changed – and photos that must have been taken when the family still lived in Norway. The newer photos were of the baby, and there was a particularly nice one of Loki holding Briana like she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen. He resisted the urge to melt into a puddle. 

A noise from behind him broke the silence. He turned, hoping Loki had come down, but it was a tall man with pale skin. He had black hair and the same colour eyes as Loki. Thor was in no doubt that this was his father. 

“Oh hello. You must be Thor?” Loki's father asked, and came forward to shake his hand. 

“Yeah, that's me.” 

“I'm Laufey, Loki's father,” he said, even though the relationship was obvious. 

Thor nodded awkwardly. “I um, I go to Loki's school,” he said by way of conversation. 

“Loki told me. He said there are a few of you? One of you has a party tonight,” he said, making his way to the kitchen. “Would you like a drink?” 

“Uh, sure. Yeah, that's Tony. He lives up on the hill.” 

It was Laufey's turn to nod. “The big house?” 

“Yeah. He's Howard Stark's son.” 

Laufey looked surprised – clearly, Loki hadn't told him that much. Thor didn't blame him. Laufey passed him a glass of orange juice and he took it thankfully, pleased to have something to do with his hands. He wondered what was taking Loki so long. 

Before they could continue their awkward conversation, Thor heard noise from the hall. He could hear women's voices and Loki as well, discussing something, but he couldn't make out what. They came into the living room together, and at some point Loki had taken Briana from his grandmother and was holding her in his arms. 

“I fed her 30 minutes ago, she should be fine for another few hours but I left a bottle in the fridge,” Loki said, clearly having not seen Thor standing in the kitchen. His grandmother was with him, and another lady, who had to be his mother. Her hair was blonde, not black, and she had beautiful blue eyes. She looked tired though, worn, as if she needed a holiday. Thor wondered if that was why Loki was looking after the baby instead of her. 

“Loki...” his grandmother said, and Loki looked up to see Thor in the kitchen. His face burst into a wide smile and Thor couldn't help but follow. Loki looked gorgeous. He was wearing tight black jeans that Thor hadn't seen before, and a dark green shirt that made his eyes shine. 

“Hey. I'm sorry, I didn't see you,” he said. “I'll just be a minute.” 

He handed Briana to his mother, and leaned down to kiss the baby's head. He lingered, brushing his hands over her soft hair. 

“She'll be fine Loki, go,” his mother said knowingly, with a smile. “And if not, we'll call you. Go!” 

Loki smiled, and Thor placed his empty glass on the counter by the sink and walked over to him. If it wasn't for the audience he wasn't sure he'd even make it out of the house with Loki – his bedroom was far closer. 

“You look nice,” Thor said, and loved the way Loki looked at him. “You ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

Thor followed Loki out, completely unaware of the way the adults were looking at them and smiling.


	8. Chapter 8

It was still half an hour away from sunset, but as they drove towards Tony's they could see that the house was lit up like a Christmas tree on steroids. It seemed as though every single light in the place was on, including the spotlights and garden lights. Thor hated to think of the size of the power bill – but then again, the name on the bill was Howard Stark. He could afford it.

The mansion stood regally on an outcrop of land perched in the hills above the town. It looked down on the houses below it, but not in an intimidating way – it appeared as more of a guardian, or a sentinel. Thor had always admired it as he grew, and when he was old enough to know who lived there he became in awe of it. Then, one day in elementary school, Tony Stark had appeared in the corridors and by the end of the day, they were firm friends. 

After all these years and countless parties and sleepovers, Thor knew the house from top to bottom. He planned to use this knowledge to his advantage tonight, and absentmindedly patted the zipped up pocket in his jacket to make sure it was all still there. 

Loki had never been up to Tony's place before. He stared out of the windscreen and up the hill, watching it come towards them. Thor realised just how grandiose the house appeared to outsiders. Howard Stark had built it before Thor was even born, and in the most extravagant way possible, but it was still always meant to be a home. 

They parked around by the garage, amidst the Porches and Ferraris that Howard rarely even used. Loki looked like someone had slapped him on the face. 

The gravel crunched under their feet as they approached the house. Booming music blasted out of all the open windows and threatened to break the ones that were shut. All around them were rows and rows of cars – clearly, Tony had ended up inviting half the town anyway. 

They let themselves in through the open door. Loki looked around in awe at the enormous golden chandelier and marble staircase that dominated the extravagant foyer. Thor had seen it so many times he had stopped being impressed a long time ago. Once, he'd even (on a dare, which he won) swung from that very chandelier. Howard still hadn't noticed the broken bulbs. 

“Thor! Loki! My Norwegian friends!” Tony, clearly already halfway to pissed, greeted them with a cigar in one hand and a bottle of Grey Goose in the other. “Glad to see you could make it. Food's out front, alcohol's in the dining room, pool is open for business and find a room if you want to have sex. Just not my father's, that would be very awkward. Other than that, have fun!” And then he was gone. 

“Did he...” Loki asked. 

“Yup,” Thor said. 

“Huh.” 

“You hungry?” Thor asked. He didn't know about Loki, but his stomach had started protesting about an hour ago. 

“Yeah.” 

Thor spotted half a dozen people he knew in the crowd and a dozen he didn't, and wondered how many had come from out of town. He grabbed Loki's hand so as not to lose him, and after getting waylaid several times they found the food. Tony had catered out so there was table after table groaning under the weight of a wide assortment of food. There was everything from hamburgers to pasta to steak, and considering it was free, Thor didn't bother to discriminate. Loki took a far smaller plate of food, choosing the more healthy items on the menu – of which there were few. 

“Rabbit food?” Thor asked. 

“What?” Loki asked, looking confused. 

“You have green stuff on your plate.” 

“Yeah, it's salad. What's wrong with salad?” 

“It's green.” 

Loki just grinned and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Bigfoot, let's get something to drink.” 

Thor guzzled a bottle of beer before grabbing another to take with him. Loki watched him drain it with some sort of odd fascination. 

“Beer?” Thor asked, and held out an unopened bottle. 

Loki looked at it warily. “No thanks, I don't drink.” 

Thor stopped for a moment. “Really? Not even beer?” 

Loki shook his head. “No beer, no wine, no spirits.” 

“You know no-one cares about the drinking age around here right? We always drink. No-one's ever been caught.” 

“It's not that. I just don't like it.” 

Thor shrugged. “Ok.” He didn't push it. He wondered if Loki genuinely didn't like alcohol, or if he just wasn't allowed to. 

Loki grabbed a lemonade instead and they walked outside. There were people already in the pool, some of them still in their clothes. Clint was one of them. Tasha was DJ-ing and Bruce was wandering around looking confused. Steve was with Tony, pleading with him to not pour gas on the barbeque to “see what would happen”. 

They found a seat on the steps leading away from the pool, where they could be in peace and yet watch everyone. Loki seemed quite happy not joining in – he'd never struck Thor as a particularly extroverted person – and to Thor's own shock he realized he was perfectly happy too. Normally, he'd be in the pool right alongside Clint, clothes and all, yelling at Tasha to put some decent music on and drinking from two different bottles at once. 

Instead, here he was, just watching, and just fine with it. 

He was very conscious of Loki beside him, so close he could feel his warmth. He stopped listening to the noise around them, stopped seeing anything other than the person beside him. He even stopped eating, and he was halfway through a perfectly cooked steak (medium rare). 

“What?” Loki asked, head tilted to the side. “You ok?” 

Thor realized he'd been staring. “Yeah, sorry.” He leaned over to kiss Loki on the cheek. “You look beautiful tonight.” 

Loki blushed. “Thanks,” he stammered, biting his lip. 

“I mean it,” Thor said, and kissed him again. 

“I know.” 

They finished eating in silence, and then just sat for a while. The evening was cool and bright, one of those early spring nights that brought the promise of a long and beautiful summer ahead. There was little to listen to beyond the music – now playing Metallica's _Hero of the Day_ \- but he remembered how peaceful this garden could be, filled with birds and insects and bright flowers. Tony's mother had crafted it with care, planning every rose and every bush and every turn of the path, filling the land with purpose and love. She'd even cared for it during her illness, until she became too ill to move from her bed. She was buried here, amongst the roses, and Thor often found Tony sitting with her, his face wet with tears. Sometimes he'd sit with him, trying to share his pain. 

Beside him, Loki lay his head on Thor's shoulder and sighed, closing his eyes. 

“You ok?” 

“Yeah.” 

Thor wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulder, stroking him through his jacket. He felt Loki settle, and smiled. 

* 

“Hey, you two!” 

Trust Clint to destroy the moment. 

“What do you want?” Thor asked grumpily, as Loki opened his eyes and sat up. 

“To see you!” Clint said enthusiastically and spread his arms wide. “How are my favorite Norwegians?” 

Thor raised an eyebrow. “Have you been speaking to Tony?” 

Clint looked confused. “No... well, yes, but why?” 

“Never mind.” 

Clint dropped his arms. “What are you doing up here away from everyone else? Beer is flowing, music is playing, the pool is warm and full of beautiful women... oh, wait... never mind. Well, it's pretty fun down there anyway. And there's cake. Lots of cake. Come have some dessert.” Clint bounded off down the steps, his sodden clothing leaving drips of water on the pave stones. 

Loki and Thor just looked at each other. 

“Do you want some dessert?” Loki asked. 

“Thought you'd never ask.” 

*

True to form, there were cakes of every color and size, along with ice cream, apple pie, Jell-O (in every flavor), brownies and cheesecake. Thor's mouth watered just looking at it all. 

“Oh... my... god...” Loki said from beside him. “I don't think I've seen this many fattening things since my 3rd birthday.” 

Thor didn't wait. He grabbed a plate and filled it with as much as it could carry. Loki, who had simply a piece of carrot cake and a scoop of vanilla ice cream, crinkled up his nose in disgust. 

“How can you have Jell-O with apple pie? And why is there fudge in your cheesecake?” 

“It's delicious!” Thor said, and raised his spoon. “Want to try?” 

“Uh... no thank you.” 

Thor shrugged, and proceeded to eat everything. 

It took Loki just as long to eat his dessert as it did Thor, who had easily 4 times as much on his plate. Thor sighed contentedly and looked longingly at what was left. 

“No, Thor,” Loki said sternly, with a hand on his arm. 

“But...” 

“No!” 

“Fine.” 

Tony had started on the spirits by then, and Thor grabbed a rum and coke from the table. He almost grabbed one for Loki too, but remembered in time and found a plain ginger beer instead. He waved it at Loki, who took it off him. 

“Thanks.” 

Thor, who was halfway through a mouthful, just raised his glass. 

* 

After finishing their drinks and saying hello to a few people who looked vaguely familiar, Thor took Loki by the hand and pulled him aside. 

“Would you like the grand tour?” he asked pompously, sweeping a hand out in front of him towards the grand staircase. 

Loki giggled. “I'd love to.” 

Thor led him up the stairs and into the hall on the second floor. “Bathroom... bedroom... bedroom... bathroom... ooohh library. Wanna peek?” 

Loki did. 

The library was massive. It rose high above them, wooden shelves laden with books on subjects from astronomy to zoology. Loki stood in the middle and turned, taking in the sheer size of the space and the astronomical amount of books. He walked over to a shelf and ran a finger over the spines, and recognized the names. 

There were the Greek tragedians – Aeschylus, Sophocles, and Loki's favorite – Euripides; then the Old Comedy of Aristophanes and the New Comedy of Menander. There was the poetry of Sappho and of Pindar; the histories of Herodytus, Xenophon and Thucydides; the philosophy of Plato and Aristotle. He was in heaven. 

It was only the touch of Thor on his shoulder that made him drop his hand and turn away from the shelves. “Promise me that we can come back and I can sit here for hours.” 

“I promise,” Thor said, his face breaking into a smile. “I even think Tony would let you move in.” 

“Really?” Loki asked, almost hopefully. Thor didn't know what to say until Loki laughed. 

Next on the itinerary was the master bedroom, which they snuck in, just to have a look. The bed was huge – about three times as big as Thor's double bed at home. He had once climbed on it with Tony, and they'd tried to stretch out and touch two sides at once – they had never been able to do it. That had been many years ago, and he wondered if he could do it now. Propriety stopped him. 

They looked in the bathroom, which was larger than Thor's living room. There was a massive sunk-in Jacuzzi bath and a separate shower with six shower heads. Loki's mouth just dropped. 

“I didn't even know people lived like this.” 

“It's not bad, is it?” Thor said, pulling Loki into his chest and wrapping his arms around him. He leaned his head on Loki's shoulder. “Maybe one day we'll be rich and we can have a house like this.” 

Loki laughed. “In my dreams!” 

They stood silently for a while, just taking it in, and admiring the view from the windows. When he'd taken in enough, Thor started to lick and suck the base of Loki's neck. 

“Mmmmm....” Loki murmured, closing his eyes and leaning into him. “I like that.” 

“I can tell,” Thor said, and nipped gently, which made Loki giggle. 

“I can't believe we're doing this in Howard Stark's bathroom,” Loki said. 

“Mmm. Do you think he's got cameras in here?” 

“With Tony as a son? I bet he does.” 

“Well... we could give him an epic show, and possibly ban Tony from ever being alone in the house again ever, or we could move on and find an empty bedroom...” 

To Thor's amazement, Loki had to think about it. Perhaps he was naughtier than he had been giving him credit for. 

“Well, I suppose we'd better move on. Tony did ask us very politely to not fuck in his father's bedroom. I'm assuming he mentally extended that to the bathroom as well.” 

Just hearing Loki say _fuck_ was enough to make Thor's hormones go into overdrive. Before his situation became too apparent, he stood back up and took Loki's hand again. “Let us continue our journey, then.” 

“Very well,” Loki said, and accepted his hand with a smile. 

They carried on down the hallway to the end, and through the last door on the left. Thor knew this room; this was normally where he slept when he stayed overnight. He knew it had an en-suite bathroom and a lock on the door, and he knew it was reasonably private. 

Loki wandered around the room, having a look, while Thor closed the door and turned the lock. “I like this room,” he said, running an elegant finger over the filigree wallpaper. “It's... cosy.” 

“'Cosy'”? 

“Yeah. I could live here, quite happily. It's big, it's luxurious, but it's not ostentatious, if you know what I mean.” 

“Yeah, yeah I do.” Ostentatious it may not have been, but it did have a dimming control on the light system. He turned it down until the light was soft and just barely there. The light reflected off the delicate gold threads in the wallpaper, making the room glow. 

“Wow...” he heard Loki say softly. 

“It's a beautiful effect, isn't it?” 

Loki nodded, his face tinged with awe. “It's gorgeous.” 

Thor stood behind him and pulled him closer, stroking the hair from Loki's cheek so he could bend forward and kiss it. He felt Loki gasp and clutch his hands, gripping them tight. 

“Bed?” Thor murmured into his ear. He felt Loki nod. 

They prised off their shoes and socks – Thor had never felt so _unsexy_ \- and climbed onto the enormous bed. Then suddenly, it was awkward. Thor swallowed hard, the box of condoms sitting much heavier than it should against his stomach. Loki looked nervous and was biting his lip. 

“You alright with this?” Thor asked, because he had to, and because he remembered what Loki had said the other day about talking about it. 

“Yeah. I want to do this. Just...” Loki stopped talking for a moment, and pulled off his jacket until he was just in his shirt. “Please – and please, don't ask why, not yet – please don't take my shirt off. Or touch me there.” 

It was an odd request – and Loki looked uncomfortable just asking him – but Thor didn't want him to feel any worse. “Yeah. That's ok,” he said, and smiled. He lay a hand under Loki's chin and tilted his head up, until he could see his beautiful green eyes. “If you want to stop, just tell me. I'll stop.” 

Loki smiled shakily, relief in his eyes. It was another of those secrets that baffled Thor, but for now all he could do was shove it aside for perusal at another time. He had other things to do. 

He took off his jacket, just like Loki, but didn't throw it away. He laid it on the end of the bed, where he could still reach the condoms. Loki had begun to relax, and was leaning against the plush pillows that lay in a mountainous heap at the head of the bed. Thor decided he liked him there. 

He arranged himself over Loki's lap, one leg either side of his thighs. Slowly, carefully, he leaned in to kiss Loki softly, asking him to open his mouth. Then Loki relaxed into him completely, and Thor just melted, because nothing had ever felt like this before. 

Loki's hands were all over him – running down his arms, over his shoulders, down his chest, over his stomach. Conscious of what Loki had asked of him, he keep his hands to Loki's arms and his hips only. He could feel the temptation to slide his hand up Loki's chest but refrained – he'd made a promise. 

“Pants,” Loki gasped, and Thor wasn't going to protest. He was hard, achingly so, and his body was tingling with what could only be lust. He was almost shaking from it, this _need_ , and if the desperate look on Loki's face was any indication, he felt the same. 

He unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his jeans, but he couldn't get them off while he was sitting on Loki. Clumsily he clambered off and staggered onto the floor, standing upright. He wriggled his jeans off, wishing like hell he'd worn something a little more forgiving. Up on the bed, Loki was having just as much luck with his skinny jeans. Thor thought that if anyone was to walk in now – lock be damned – all they'd see were a pair of idiots. 

“Fuck!” Thor exclaimed as he finally pulled his jeans off. He threw them at the wall where they slid down to lie in a slumped heap on the floor. He crawled back onto the bed to help Loki pull his jeans off. 

“God I'm never wearing those fucking things again,” Loki grumbled, but Thor wasn't listening – he was too busy admiring Loki's legs. They were long and well shaped, elegant, and Thor felt that his own were like a pair of tree trunks in comparison. He noticed, as well, when he was running his hands over the pale skin, that they were completely hairless. It suited Loki, and made the palms of his hands tingle at the softness. 

He leaned forward to kiss Loki on the lips, then bent down to kiss the top of his thighs. He licked delicately at the skin and heard Loki gasp, and felt, under his hands, Loki's legs begin to open. Slowly he ran his hands over Loki's thighs and down, over his knees and around his calves, and underneath him Loki had begun to tremble. 

The dark green briefs that Loki wore were silky under Thor's fingers. He grasped under the elastic and pulled down, and obediently Loki lifted his hips to make it easier. Thor pulled them right off and tossed them away, sliding back up the bed to kiss Loki's hip. 

Loki was hard, his cock thick and full. Thor felt his heart stutter – because this was _it_ \- and then he leaned forward to kiss the head, just the head. Loki gasped, his body shuddering, and Thor took that as a good sign. He slid his hand around it and grasped the base, feeling the silky hardness under his skin. 

He slid his hand up and down, wet pre-come dampening his palm to ease the way. When Loki began to moan, his toes curling, Thor bent forward and took the head of his cock into his mouth. Loki cried out and Thor felt hands on his head, and in his hair. He sucked lightly, letting his tongue swirl around the head, and gripped just a little bit harder. 

“Ohhhh _fuck!_ ” he heard Loki cry out, and figured he had to be doing something right. He didn't stop, just looked up at Loki to see him in utter ecstasy, his face contorted with pleasure. Thor moved his hand a little faster, sucked even harder, and not a full minute had passed before Loki began to jerk, his hands tight in Thor's hair, and then he was crying out that he was coming and Thor was trying to swallow, one hand on Loki's thigh to try and keep him still. 

“Jesus Christ...” Loki whimpered, panting for breath. Thor wiped his mouth and moved up to kiss him. “I'm sorry, I don't normally... not normally so quick,” Loki said between lungfuls of air. Thor just smiled and kissed him again. 

Watching Loki – feeling him, tasting him, bringing him such pleasure – had left Thor in almost desperate straits. He tugged off his shirt (and noticed the way Loki looked at him) and pulled off his boxers, and then Loki was on him. He leaned back as Loki ran a hand over his chest, sliding over the muscles and feeling their hard steel shifting under his skin. Another hand gripped his cock, smearing pre-come over the head with a thumb. Loki bent down and engulfed him, swallowing him whole, and Thor nearly came then and there. 

All he could do was lay back and try to recover his wits, because Loki had _such_ a tongue – it was doing things to him that nobody had done before, and this was a whole new world, a whole new feeling... He gasped for breath and squeezed his eyes closed, trying to think of anything that could stop him from giving in, but nothing was working and all he could do was shout a warning as he came, shuddering and moaning. Loki licked him clean and then kissed him back to life, where it was his turn to mumble an apology, which Loki dismissed with a smile. “The night is young,” he joked, and Thor knew they weren't finished yet. 

They kissed for a while, the taste of each other in their mouths, and Thor held Loki as close as he could. He wasn't sure if they fell asleep or just lay there, but then Loki was nibbling at his ear again, and sparks of pleasure were bolting down his spine. As he came to fully Loki was shifting onto his back, spreading his legs and urging Thor between them. Thor just nodded dumbly, then remembered the lube and condoms and sat up to retrieve his jacket. He forced the sticky zip down and pulled out the bottle and the box before throwing the jacket on the floor. 

Loki looked at him with a smile. “You aren't the only one who came prepared,” he said breathlessly, and nodded towards his own jacket. 

Thor caught on and laughed. “Well, if we run out, at least we have spares.” 

Loki giggled. In the soft light his dark hair appeared even blacker, shining like the blanket of ebony sky outside. His eyes, normally so green, were dark and wide, his pupils dilated with arousal. Thor could see him breathe, and realized he was acutely aware of Loki, as if his senses were tuned to him alone. 

He had to stop, just to kiss him. “This is ok, right?” he whispered, and in the dim light he saw Loki nod. “Good.” He reached for the bottle of lube as Loki reached for the condoms, and as he flicked open the bottle and smeared his fingers with the gooey liquid Loki was ripping open a packet. He felt a hand on his cock, stroking him back to full hardness, and it felt so good he stopped for a moment, just to watch Loki. 

“Thor...” Loki murmured, and looked up at him. “Touch me.” 

Thor wasn't going to protest. He laid one hand on Loki's inner thigh and the other drifted down, to rub softly over his entrance. Loki shuddered and moaned, long and low, and through gritted teeth he begged Thor for more. With as much care as he could muster, Thor entered him with one finger. 

It was hot, and tight, but not so tight that Loki was uncomfortable, for he cried out with pleasure and bucked his hips. Thor pressed deeper and felt Loki clench around him, but it was only for a moment and then he was relaxing, and Thor withdrew. Loki was vocal with his displeasure, and Thor apologized, stroking his fingers over his thigh. He spread more lube on his finger and entered him again, this time thrusting his finger in and out. Loki moaned and spread his legs even further, his breathing heavy and deep. 

“More,” Loki begged. “Please.” 

Thor withdrew his finger again and slid another back in alongside it, and as he thrust in and out he changed the angle and the depth until he brushed up against Loki's prostate. Loki jerked, crying out in surprise and pleasure, and then he was pleading to Thor to not stop. He slid another finger in beside the first two, his other hand bracing Loki's bent thigh. He bent forward to kiss Loki's hip and then his cock. 

“Fuck me,” Loki demanded, and Thor wasn't going to say no. Loki was rolling the condom over his erection as he pulled out his fingers, and between them they lubed his cock with sticky hands. Loki's hand reached down to grasp him, and as he arranged himself on the pillows he guided Thor to his hole. Thor could feel Loki trying to clench around him and didn't hesitate, whispering to Loki to relax as he pushed. 

He slid in easier than he anticipated, and Loki voiced his approval, hands flying to Thor's shoulders. 

“Oh fuck... hard!” Loki demanded, his eyes dark and desperate. 

Thor gripped his hips and slid deeper, then withdrew completely and thrust back in, impossibly glad that he'd already come because this was incredible, this was going to break him... he wasn't going to last. He had barely the capacity to think that this was everything he'd wanted, that he'd wanted to be inside Loki like this since the day he saw him, and now he was doing it... 

Loki's fingernails were digging into the skin of his back as he held on, his body open and pliant beneath Thor as they fucked. Thor bent down to kiss him, swallowing his cries, not caring that the screams that he couldn't hide were probably mingling with the noise of the music outside. 

He felt like he was falling apart, like nothing could exist after this. He didn't want this to end but he could feel his orgasm building already, and Loki was screaming, begging for more, his fingernails scraping down his back... He pulled Loki's hips up and thrust harder, and he must have found the right spot because Loki's body was shaking and jerking under his hands. There were tears glistening on Loki's cheeks and he kissed them away, their bodies fitting together as though they were the same. 

“Thor...!” Loki gasped and then he was coming, clenching and shaking, and Thor kissed him and kissed him and felt him tremble underneath him. He watched as Loki gasped for breath, his dark eyes shining with tears, and didn't ever want to let go. 

Loki's hands were tightening on his waist, asking him to keep going even though he'd never really stopped, and so he thrust deeper and harder and saw Loki cry out in pleasure again, even so soon after his orgasm. It was Loki, really, who pushed him over the edge – he couldn't see anything else, because there wasn't anything beyond the two of them, and when Loki clenched around him and told him to come, he did. He felt his body convulse, though he couldn't move, and something just _exploded_ inside him, filling him up with something indescribable. He could barely hold himself up. As his breath came back, slowly, he felt Loki's fingers trail down his cheek. 

As carefully as he could, he slid out and fell on the bed next to Loki, who rolled over and pressed himself into his arms. 

“Jesus Christ,” Thor swore, making Loki giggle tiredly. 

They couldn't talk for a moment, just laid there and touched each other, bodies tangled together. 

“Was it worth waiting for?” Loki asked, when he could. 

“Every second,” Thor said, and pulled Loki in for a deep kiss. 

He reached for the box of tissues on the bedside table and pulled out a bunch, his arms still shaking. He pulled off the condom and wrapped it up. Loki's come was sticky on his stomach and he wiped it off, then wrapped it all in a clean tissue and tucked it on the table. 

He was exhausted, though he would never admit it, and Loki must have been just as tired because he flopped on Thor's chest and closed his eyes. He drifted his fingers through Loki's black hair and tried to relax, but he was so pumped from sex and from finally doing it that it was a while before he could even control his breathing. 

Loki giggled against his chest, which didn't help. “What?” Thor asked. 

“You're still so tense,” Loki said, and lifted his head. “Is once just not enough for you?” 

Thor raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps not. Maybe that's my problem.” 

Loki grinned wickedly. With one devilish eye on Thor he reached for the box of condoms and pulled one out. “It's ok darling. This time I can do all the work.” Thor nearly came again. 

Loki's delicate hands stroked down his cock, and defying every previous sexual encounter that Thor had ever had, he was as hard as a rock by the time Loki slipped the condom on. This time Thor just lay there and watched as Loki spread lube over him, but then his brain broke through the sex-induced fog and he raised his hands to Loki's hips as he straddled his thighs. He held him as Loki reached for his cock, and all he could do was choke as he watched Loki lower himself, guiding him in, and if it was possible, it was even better than before. 

“Oh Jesus, Loki, Loki...” Thor murmured, and he couldn't keep his hands still as Loki sunk down on him, and rubbed his thighs and his arms and his face, and pulled him down to kiss him. 

Loki broke the kiss with a gasp and braced himself with his hands on the pillow by Thor's head. He raised his hips and lowered himself again, and Thor coaxed him into a rhythm with hands guiding his hips. 

From where he lay, Thor could look down and see Loki taking him in again and again, and he could see every emotion that writ itself across his beautiful face, and all of it made his blood burn and his body tremble with pleasure. He watched as Loki panted with the exertion and the ecstasy, and felt his heart ache, because nothing he could say or do could possibly capture the love and desire that was filling him right at that moment. 

Loki was gasping his name and pressing into him, desperate for touch, and Thor wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He pressed kiss after kiss into his hair and on his mouth, and began to thrust upwards, meeting Loki as he came down. 

He slid a hand between their bodies to fist Loki's cock, wanting to feel him come undone, and when Loki's rhythm collapsed he knew he had him, and he squeezed harder, and harder... 

Loki roared in his ear, his orgasm shooting through his body like a thunderbolt, so powerful that Thor could almost feel it himself. He didn't need any coaxing, just held Loki's hips tight and thrust into him one more time before giving in, and Loki's orgasm was still shaking his limbs as Thor succumbed to his. 

Then afterwards all Thor could do was hold onto Loki and press his lips to his hair. He could feel Loki's heartbeat against his chest, could hear him breathing. He couldn't imagine being anywhere else. 

“You ok?” he whispered. 

Loki sighed, then shifted until he was staring down at Thor. His hair was a mess and his lip was red from where he'd been biting it. “Holy crap,” he breathed, and started to giggle. Thor joined him. 

Loki was still laughing when he rolled off and fell onto the bed next to Thor. “God that was amazing,” he said, and covered his face with his hands. “Fuck.” 

“You swear a lot more during sex than you do any other time,” Thor observed. 

Loki stared at him. “That's what you noticed most from us having sex? That I swear a lot?” he asked, and grinned. 

Thor chuckled. “Oh believe me, I noticed a _lot_.” He rolled over to face Loki. “But you know what? There are some things I'm not sure about. I might need more practice.” 

Loki smiled. “You can have as much practice as you like,” he said softly, and stroked a hand down Thor's cheek. “Any time.” 

“Good,” Thor whispered, and turned to kiss his finger. 

He was softening and the condom was threatening to fall off, so he pulled it off and wrapped it in another tissue. He wiped his hand and gathered the tissues together. “I'll be back.” He stood up and padded to the bathroom, flicking on the light. It was a bit embarrassing tossing the used condoms in the trash, but he figured it was less embarrassing than leaving them on the floor. Anyway, it was a Stark party – what else could the cleaners possibly expect? 

He washed his hands and his face, then found a clean washcloth and dampened it. Loki looked asleep as he wandered back into the bedroom, his eyes closed and his face peaceful. He was laying on his back with his hands up by his head, and Thor bent to kiss him before he climbed back on the bed. 

“Uhhhfff,” Loki mumbled, as Thor's movements disturbed him. “Wha is it?” 

“Nothing,” Thor said reassuringly, and kissed his forehead. “Go back to sleep.” While Loki dozed he cleaned him gently, trying hard not to wake him again. He tossed the facecloth in the general direction of the bathroom and pulled a blanket up from the end of the bed to cover them both. Remembering Loki's curfew, he found his phone and set the alarm for 12.30am. Pulling Loki into his arms, he fell asleep. 

* 

The alarm's incessant beeping woke him up far too soon. He felt sluggish, like he was moving through quick sand, and in the end it was Loki who threw out a hand to grab the phone and turn the alarm off. 

“Can we go back to sleep?” Loki asked, and Thor didn't have to look at him to hear how tired he was. 

“No,” he groaned. “Gotta take you home.” 

“Fuck,” Loki swore, though it was partially muffled by the pillow he was holding over his head. 

Thor didn't want to get up. He was perfectly comfortable here, in this plush, gigantic bed, holding Loki. The thought of getting up was repugnant. 

But the thought of falling asleep and missing Loki's curfew (and his, though he was less concerned about that one) was almost worse. He didn't want Loki's parents to be angry at him and ground him, if that's what they were like. He also didn't want them going off him because he couldn't get their baby home in time. 

“Up,” he said, and pulled the pillow off Loki's head. 

* 

By the time they'd found all their clothes and staggered into them (Loki needed a bit of help with the skinny jeans) it was almost a quarter to 1. Thor took Loki's hand and led him downstairs, where evidently the party was still raging. Thor had hoped to sneak out without being noticed, but he didn't think that was going to happen. 

Thankfully, the only person they encountered that they knew was Tasha, who took one look at them and raised an eyebrow. “Congratulations,” she said dryly, and raised her glass. 

“Um, thanks?” Thor said, and walked faster. 

It was quiet outside. The moon was full and high, casting a luminescent glow as they walked to the car. It was so peaceful neither broke the silence. They were nearly there when Loki jerked his hand and stopped, staring at something past Thor. 

“What is it?” Thor asked, and Loki threw a finger up to his lips as if to say _quiet_. Then he extended an arm and pointed towards the grove of palm trees that framed an elegant pond. Squinting in the darkness, Thor could just make out a couple making out under one of the trees. He was just about to ask Loki why he was so fascinated when something made him take a second look. 

It was Tony and Steve. 

Thor had to clasp a hand over his mouth to hide his gasp. Beside him, Loki was smiling, his eyes shining in the moonlight. 

“About time, isn't it,” Loki whispered, and then leaned in for a kiss of his own. Thor obliged, pulling him close. “I don't want to go home,” Loki whispered, playing with the zip on Thor's leather jacket. “I want to stay with you.” 

Thor's heart ached. “I don't want to leave you either.” They stood together for a few minutes more, just _being_ with each other until reality pressed upon them and they wandered reluctantly to the car. 

* 

The streets were deserted. Thor drove slowly, one hand on Loki's thigh. 

“Can you come over tomorrow?” he asked. 

Loki played with his hands. “I can ask. But after tonight...” He sighed, and sounded so unhappy that Thor wanted to stop the car just to give him a hug. “It's not that my parents are strict, it's just that I can't ask them to – no, I mean it's not fair on them...” 

“What's not fair on them?” Thor asked, confused. 

Loki looked angry at himself, as if he'd said something he shouldn't have, and shook his head. “Nothing, uh I'm just tired, sorry.” 

Thor didn't say anything, just squeezed his thigh. 

They didn't speak again until they reached Loki's house. The porch light was on and the path lit, but Thor still got out of the car to walk him to the front door. 

“Just text me if you can, ok?” he asked softly. “Or text me if you can't. Just text me.” Loki smiled, and Thor was pleased to see it. “Now, get inside and get to bed before you fall over.” 

“Yes Sir,” Loki said. “But not without a kiss.” 

Thor obliged.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. So it's been ages since I've been able to post. Ten thousand apologies and my first born!!! :O

Thor woke late the next morning. He'd slept so soundly he hadn't dreamed at all, but for half a second before he woke thoroughly he thought that perhaps it had all been a dream – the party, Loki, what they had done _together_ \- and the pain that hit him felt like a physical blow. Then realization rushed over him like a wave and the relief and then exhilaration that exploded inside him left him breathless.

He almost didn't want to get up – he wanted to stay in bed and relive every moment in his head (and perhaps his pants) but he felt restless and wanted to move. He showered quickly and dressed, and then said a hurried _good morning_ to his startled mother before grabbing a Pop-Tart (brown sugar cinnamon) and walking out the door. 

The day was cloudless and bright, so clear he could see for miles, though the brilliance of the day faded in comparison to everything that had happened. He barely noticed anything around him as he walked, eating absentmindedly. He remembered being with Loki – that moment of being physically and emotionally joined, where nothing else existed and the only thing that mattered was the feeling that they shared – and having to leave him afterwards, when the only thing he wanted to do was hold him close for the rest of the night. 

Without thinking, his feet led him to Loki's house. He looked up and there it was, as obvious in the day as it had been at 2 minutes to 1 the previous night. There were no signs of activity, no signs anyone was even home, but he sat down on a low wall that surrounded the neighbor's property and texted Loki. 

“ _Hey babe :) u home?_ ” 

The answer came just two minutes later. “ _Yeah :) why??_ ” 

Thor hesitated before he texted back. Just a few seconds, mind. “ _Im outside ur house._ ” He could just about see the look on Loki's face. 

“ _Are you serious?? Stalker :P_ ” Thor thought of it more as being “especially caring”, but, well, semantics. 

“ _Deadly._ ” 

“ _Stay there. Be 2 mins._ ” 

Thor could set his watch by Loki's timekeeping skills. No more than two minutes had passed before the front door opened and Loki slipped out, looking for him. Thor stood, suddenly feeling slightly self-conscious, but Loki smiled and Thor found himself filled with something that made his heart beat faster in his chest. 

“Hey,” Loki said and hugged him, and Thor wrapped his arms around him. Loki buried his head in Thor's neck and just for a little while, at least, they were completely at peace. 

“How are you?” Thor mumbled, somewhere near Loki's ear (he hoped, there was an awful lot of hair there). 

“I'm good,” Loki said brightly, and stood properly, but held onto Thor's forearms. “And I got to sleep in.” 

Thor chuckled. “First time in how long?” 

Loki flushed, but smiled. “Months.” 

“Maybe I should take you out more often then.” 

“Maybe you should,” Loki murmured, and leaned up to kiss him. Thor held him for what seemed like a long time, but was probably only minutes, and kissed him back until they were both breathless. Loki leaned his forehead against Thor's and closed his eyes, and not for first time Thor found himself feeling fiercely protective. He stroked Loki's hair and pulled him closer, not giving a damn that they were in full view of the road and anyone who might have been driving past. 

“What are you even doing here?” Loki asked, his voice partially muffled by Thor's shoulder. 

“Felt like a walk. Ended up here. Shouldn't have been surprised really.” 

“I knew you were stalking me.” 

“Stalking is so much less fun when the person knows about it.” 

“I don't want to know how you know that.” 

“Just ask my previous victims.” 

Loki gave him a weak jab to the ribs and Thor pretended to be winded. “That's domestic abuse,” he said, feigning tears. 

“That's you being an idiot.” 

“I'm hurt.” 

“I can tell.” 

Thor chuckled and kissed his cheek. “How long can you stay out here for?” he asked. 

Loki made a face. “Not long.” 

“Long enough to go get some food with me? Lunch on me. Please?” Thor pleaded, doing his best impression of a wounded puppy. 

Loki couldn't help but smile. “I'll ask. Give me a few minutes, ok?” 

“I'm not going anywhere.” 

“Didn't think you were.” Loki gave him a devilish look and ran back inside. Thor sat back down and twiddled his thumbs. 

Loki was back, 5 minutes later, jacket in hand. “I have an hour,” he said, and Thor figured it was better than nothing. 

“Perfect.” 

* 

They headed to the burger joint, walking slowly, and talking about everything except what had happened last night. Neither wished to discuss it because they felt they had no need to; it existed in their minds and their memories as something venerable and talking about it almost seemed sacrilegious. 

Which was all slightly ridiculous, Thor mused, because really, it was just _sex_ , but it was his first time with Loki (and it was freaking _amazing_ ) so perhaps it therefore deserved such thinking. Perhaps the next time wouldn't, just for the fact it wouldn't be the first. Then he could talk about it. Thor shook his head and tried to stop thinking, it was starting to hurt. 

“You ok?” Loki asked, and squeezed his hand. 

“Yeah. Just thinking.” 

“Oh. Sounds painful.” 

“Shut up.” 

* 

The burgers came quickly, hot and delicious, and Loki ate his the same way he did when Thor first brought him here – with tiny noises of pleasure that had made Thor think of Loki in bed, and it made him squirm now to think that yes, those noises were so very like the same that Loki had made just last night, open and willing beneath him – he had to think quickly of saggy old ladies and gruesome horror movies in a desperate attempt to leave the zipper of his jeans intact. In his discomfort he took a larger bite of his burger than he had intended and nearly choked. 

He was a little put out that Loki laughed at him but he did see the funny side after he'd recovered and drunk half his coke, and gently kicked Loki under the table to make him shut up. 

“If that ever happens to you, I'll make sure to laugh.” 

Of course, that just set Loki off again. Thor found himself grinning like an idiot after a moment because Loki was gloriously beautiful when he was so happy, and there was still a part of him that just couldn't believe Loki was _his_. If it wasn't so cliched, he'd pinch himself. 

When they'd finished, and Loki still had 20 minutes before he had to be home, Thor took his hand and lead him a different way home. There was a park, just two blocks from Loki's, that spanned several acres and down the back, past the playground and the picnic areas, was a grove of regal oak trees. They were ages old, older than the town, and Thor had spent more time than he could possibly remember climbing the branches and collecting their acorns as he'd grown, and he still remembered it all now – still remembered the lone weeping willow that sat amongst them, so foreign with its curtain of green leaves that hung to the ground. They wandered through the oaks, and Loki looked up but couldn't see the sky, just thick branches heavy with leaves, and yet the sunlight pushed down in dapples to dot the ground with light. It was peaceful and quiet, and when Thor pushed through the leaves of the willow and led him through it was as if they were the only people for miles. 

They sat with their backs to the willow, feeling the rough bark against their skin even through their shirts. Loki leaned against Thor and closed his eyes, and beyond the buzzing of insects and the calling of birds there was nothing to hear; nothing to see except the green curtain of leaves that surrounded them. Thor swallowed down the wish that he didn't want to leave and decided to enjoy what time they did have instead. 

He slid his arm around Loki and pulled him closer until Loki was pressed into him, their bodies tight against one another. His fingers splayed through smooth black hair, letting the strands glide over his skin. He bent to kiss Loki's temple and let his lips linger as Loki sighed happily beneath him. 

“Do you have to go?” Thor murmured, with a hint of a smile. 

Loki smiled and looked up at him. “You know I would stay if I could.” 

“I know,” Thor said, and kissed him again. “But you're 17, surely your parents can start letting you out of the house without written permission.” 

Loki's eyes narrowed in confusion, and then he laughed. “Oh my god. I'm sorry. I guess... I didn't...” 

“Didn't what?” Thor asked, thoroughly bewildered. 

Loki pursed his lips, then spoke. “I'm not 17. I skipped a year.” 

“Skipped... oh.” Thor's mouth stopped working at the same time as his brain. 

“I'm 16.” 

“... Wow.” Thor felt as though someone had beaten him over the head with an inflatable hammer. “Huh.” 

“Yup.” 

“I take back what I said about written permission. I wouldn't let you out with me either. Wait, you _are_ legal, aren't you?” 

Loki was giggling so hard it took him a moment to answer. “Yes, Thor. Perfectly legal.” 

“Oh good.” 

Thor recovered quickly. It wasn't that much of a big deal anyway, though he did have to reconsider just how smart Loki was – if he was practically top of the class in everything having come in halfway through the last semester of the year _and_ a year younger than everyone to boot, then he was on a whole other level entirely. Thor decided to read more Shakespeare. Or at least google it. 

“I should go soon,” Loki said reluctantly. 

That was the last thing Thor wanted, but he was too old to throw a tantrum and tried to be cheerful about it instead. “Can I escort you home?” 

Loki smiled at him, so brilliantly that it took Thor's breath away. “I'd love you to.” 

“Consider it done.” Thor held out a hand and helped Loki to his feet. They brushed aside the willow leaves and walked slowly down under the avenue of ancient oaks, as silent as the trees. 

It was almost a shock to come back out on the footpath, where cars and trucks blasted past spewing noise and smoke, after the quiet serenity of the park. But reality had beckoned, as it tended to do, they found themselves back in the real world, albeit reluctantly. 

Thor held Loki's hand and walked him home, each step taking him closer to the place where he'd have to leave him again. One day, he hoped, he'd be walking inside too. 

Remembering that he had to be cheerful, Thor tried to distract himself. “What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked, secretly hoping he could whisk Loki away again, for however brief a time. 

“Briana has an appointment with a specialist two hours from here,” Loki said, looking up at Thor. His green eyes gave away a sort of uncertainty, of barely disguised worry. “I think it's going to take all day.” 

“Is everything ok?' Thor asked, suddenly concerned, because he didn't like to see Loki so worried. 

Loki moved as if to speak, and then seemed to change his mind. After a moment, he tried again. “I don't know... Briana, she sometimes finds it hard to sleep at night, she doesn't breathe properly... the doctor thought maybe she had a viral respiratory infection but it hasn't gone away.” And he looked so sad, biting through his lower lip, worrying the chapped skin. “I... It's... I don't know what it is.” He shook his head, as if annoyed at himself, and Thor thought he saw Loki’s eyes grow suspiciously shiny. 

“Oh hey, it's ok” he said quietly, and stopped. “It'll be ok.” He pulled Loki towards him and wrapped his arms around him. He held Loki for a few minutes, pretty sure they were blocking the footpath and not caring, until Loki had gathered himself together and gave Thor a shaky smile. “Yeah. She'll be fine. I should stop worrying.” 

“It's natural to worry,” Thor said, as he took Loki's hand again and they continued walking. 

“Yeah I know.” Loki sighed heavily and shook his head again, as if to clear his mind of bad thoughts. “But I shouldn't get so wound up.” 

Thor just smiled at him and squeezed his hand, because truthfully, he hadn't ever been in Loki's position and he had no idea what it would be like. 

When they reached Loki's house, they stood for a while on the doorstep. Thor had never considered himself much of a romantic, but clearly he had underestimated himself, because by the time he'd finished his extra-special goodbye to Loki the black-haired teen was flushed, giggling madly and his eyes were dark and wide. When he disappeared inside, Thor briefly hoped that his parents wouldn't think they'd just been doing something they shouldn't have. 

* 

With Loki out the next day, Thor found himself bored. He texted Tasha and begged her for company, though it wasn't until he'd promised to pay for movie tickets that she agreed to abandon her reading and come out with him. 

They met where they usually did, outside an abandoned house on Thurston Street. A few years ago they'd all dared each other to go inside, though it was Tony who made them all wait until after dark. Armed with nothing more than a few torches and Tony's wit, they'd crept in through a broken basement window. There was nothing inside except for pieces of broken furniture and the odd syringe or used condom and piles of stinking rubbish. By the time they'd finished prying around they were less scared of it than they were just plain disgusted. They hadn't gone back inside since. 

Tasha was sitting on the fence, eyes closed, bathing in the sun that streamed down around them. It was a beautiful day, though Thor hadn't really noticed – he was still waiting to hear back from Loki about how Briana's appointment had gone. 

“So, someone got lucky the other night,” she drawled as she heard him coming, eyes still closed. She hadn't moved. 

Thor blushed and thanked the gods that she couldn't see it. 

“You're blushing, aren't you?” she asked, smirking. 

Thor just groaned and sat down beside her. She opened her eyes and turned to face him, her red curls bunched tight. She didn't say anything, just raised one of her rather expressive eyebrows. 

“...maybe?” Thor squeaked. 

_“'Maybe?'”_ she repeated sarcastically. This time, both of her eyebrows went up. “It was written all over your face, clear as day. Not to mention the messy hair and the crumbled clothes and the way Loki looked like he was about to keel over. I don't know if you've noticed Thor, but he's a little bit smaller than you. I'd proceed with caution when it comes to fucking the living daylights out of him.” 

Thor pouted. “He wanted it.” 

“I'll bet.” 

Thor looked at her. “What do you mean?” 

“What do I mean? I mean that the kid looks far too innocent for his own good. You just know the innocent looking ones are the ones that really aren’t.” She said it so matter-of-factly that Thor found it hard to argue, even though he knew her argument was fundamentally flawed. Some days there was just no arguing with her. And Loki hadn't exactly been _shy_. Before he could say anything, she spoke. “So was it good?” 

“Yes.” 

“Mind-blowingly good?” 

_“Yes!”_

“So good you could just about hear the screams coming from that bedroom you normally sleep in?” 

Thor nearly fell off the fence. “You _heard?”_

“Who didn't. Well, no, ok, I happened to be walking past. That boyfriend of yours isn't exactly quiet.” 

Thor relaxed a little, glad the entire party hadn't heard them having sex. It was still incredibly embarrassing though. 

Tasha seemed to read his mind, and softened. “Look, it's ok. Really.” 

Thor bit his lip. “You don't think we had sex too early do you?” 

“Did you both want it?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Did you both enjoy it? Wait, don't answer that one, I know it already.” 

“Tasha!” 

“Whhhaatt?” 

Thor sulked. “It was great.” 

“So why the hell are you so hung up about it?” 

“I'm not hung up about it! You brought it up!” 

“Hmmphh. True. Well, we're gonna miss this movie if you don't hurry your buff ass up. Where is Loki anyway?” 

“Gone out.” 

She nodded. “So I'm your second choice, am I?” she asked, but Thor had known her long enough to know that she was jesting. She grinned, nudged him with her fist, jumped off the fence and started walking. “Come on, big boy!” 

Thor didn't have much of a choice. He started walking. 

* 

Thor couldn't remember what movie they ended up seeing. He kept checking his phone, looking for text messages from Loki, but nothing came through. Afterwards, when Tasha asked him if he liked the movie, he lied and said yes. 

* 

He spent the rest of the afternoon on his bed, alternating between staring at his ceiling and staring at his phone. When his eyes started to cross, he gave up and stared at his laptop instead. 

* 

By 6pm, he was starting to worry. Loki hadn't texted him since 8.30am that morning, when he'd sent one saying they were leaving and they would be back by 4pm that afternoon at the latest. It was unusual for them to go more than a few hours without texting, so this was a hell of a long time to wait. 

* 

By 9pm, he was starting to panic. He phoned Loki three times, but the phone rang and rang. He left three voice messages, trying hard not to sound desperate, but by the last one his voice had started to crack. 

When he hadn't heard anything by 10pm, he phoned Steve. 

“What the hell Thor, it's late!” 

“I know! But I'm worried!” 

“Worried about _what?”_

“Loki was going out for the day and he said that they'd be back by 4pm but it's 10pm now and he's not answering texts or answering the phone and I'm really worried and do you know if they have come home yet?” He said it in such a rush he had to stop and breathe, but he barely noticed because the only thing that mattered was what Steve could tell him. 

He heard Steve sigh. “Ok. Look, I'll just go downstairs and check, alright? Give me a minute.” 

“Yeah. Thank you,” he added, when he realized he was probably being a bit rude. There was silence for a moment, then hushed voices in the background – was that _Tony?_ \- then he could hear Steve going down the stairs and the _click_ of the door as it opened. 

Thor was getting so anxious he started to wear a hole in the knee of his jeans with a finger. He was so worried about Loki and why he hadn't called or texted that he was just about prepared to go over to Loki's himself. 

“Thor? You there?” 

“Yes!” 

“Thor, no-one's home. Car's not there, lights are all off. I even knocked on the door and no-one answered.” 

Thor didn't know what to feel. On the one hand, he was relieved that Loki didn't seem to be deliberately ignoring him – if he was home and still not replying to texts and calls then Thor would have been devastated. That would have opened the little box in his head where he kept the almost unthinkable notions of Loki leaving him and hating him forever. On the other hand, it was concerning because _why_ weren't they home? Was something really wrong with Briana? Loki _had_ seemed really worried. Or what if their car had broken down and they were stranded by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere? 

He just didn't know what to think any more. 

“Thor? You there?” Steve asked, concerned. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I'm here. Thanks man. I dunno... I dunno why they aren't home.” 

Steve must have heard the worry in his voice. “It'll be ok, Thor. It's probably nothing major. They'll be home soon, I'm sure. You'll probably see him tomorrow at school.” 

“Yeah. You're right. Thanks man.” 

“No worries.” Then Steve hung up, and Thor was left a bundle of twitchy, anxious nerves all night. 

* 

He was pretty sure he hadn't gotten any sleep. He gave up entirely at 5.30am and got ready for school, giving his mother one hell of a fright when she came to wake him up and found him already dressed. 

Breakfast was Pop-Tarts again, though he could barely taste it and threw the second away before he'd even finished the first. He left early so he could walk in the opposite direction and go past Loki's, but nothing had changed – the house was still empty. He rang the bell and waited and waited, but no-one came to the door. 

He walked the rest of the way to school with a heavy heart. 

* 

Tasha pulled him aside between first and second period. 

“What's up?” she asked, her eyes wide with concern. “You look like someone stole your puppy. Then ran over it.” 

“I don't have a puppy.” 

“Thor, seriously? What is it?” 

Thor sighed. “Loki was supposed to be home at about 4pm yesterday, but they still aren't back and he's not answering his phone. I don't know what's happened.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

Thor could see her biting the inside of her cheek, something she always did when she was worried. “I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation and they'll be home soon,” she said, and it was exactly what Thor would have expected his mother to say. It didn't make anything any easier. 

The corridors were emptying, everyone was disappearing into classrooms. Thor was late for Economics. 

“I'll see you at study,” he said morosely, and dragged himself to class. 

* 

He just sat there at study, staring at his food until Tony decided he wasn't going to eat it and stole it. He looked up as Tony scoffed it, not giving a damn about the food but remembering suddenly the image of Tony and Steve kissing under the trees that night. His mouth opened, as if he was going to say something, then he realized that no-one else had and whatever it was that had gone on between the two, they weren't ready for anyone to know about it yet. Looking back down again, he closed his mouth and pretended that he hadn't noticed just how close Tony and Steve were sitting. 

* 

By the end of the school day, Thor was so wound up he felt simultaneously ready to cry and to scream. He had no control over this situation, no way to change anything or make Loki come back or make everything right again. He was so anxious that something had gone wrong and Loki (or Briana) was hurt that he was fairly shaking with it all. Tasha had asked him half a billion times if he was ok and even Steve and Tony were beginning to look concerned. He brushed them off with a mumble about how everything was ok (when it really wasn't) and took off home. 

He walked home past Loki's, ready to be disappointed but secretly hoping that someone would be home. He wasn't prepared for the rush of utter despair that swamped him when he saw that the house was still empty, or for the crushing grip around his heart that poured fear into his veins. By now, he was utterly convinced that something had gone terribly wrong.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I'm so sorry for leaving the last chapter where I did!! BAD me!! Here is the next chapter to ease your fears :)

That night was torturous. He fell into a half-sleep at around 2am, his mind still running a mile a minute, terrified that something had happened and he hadn't been there. He dreamed of Loki, who was holding Briana, both standing on a hill so far away from him that he knew, intrinsically, that he could never get there. Yet he could see Loki and Briana as clear as day, and Loki was screaming and Briana was crying but he couldn't hear anything, and all he could do was stand there and watch helplessly...

He awoke at 5.23am, sheets tangled around his legs, body covered in sweat. For a moment he just lay there, heart beating so fast he could almost hear it, and he just stared into the darkness as if it held all the answers. Out of habit he checked his phone, but it was a waste of effort and for a brief moment he wanted to throw it against the wall, watch it smash into a thousand pieces. But then Loki's face flashed in his mind and he stilled his hand, because _surely_ , at some point, Loki would try to get hold of him and if he wasn't there... 

He didn't want to think about that. 

He showered under frost-cold water, hardly feeling the sting of the chill as it crawled under his skin. Hunger gnawed at his stomach and he ate a slice of unbuttered toast, not caring that it stuck in his mouth and in his throat. He left the house before his mother had even awoken, leaving a short note on the table so she wouldn't panic. 

The streets were practically deserted. There was the odd jogger and a couple of people walking dogs, but the sun was still rising sluggishly and most people were still in bed. The day stretched ahead of him, insufferably long without Loki there. And still, he had no answer - _where was he?_

By the time the others arrived at school Thor had been there for over an hour. Tasha was there first. She slid down next to him where he was slouched against a wall, and didn't say anything. That was one of the things Thor loved about Tasha. She knew him better than almost anybody – she knew what he needed to hear, and what he didn't. They sat in silence, not needing words to speak. 

Bruce joined them at some point, eating a cinnamon roll that had deposited its frosting onto his shirt. He hadn't noticed, and buried himself in a physics textbook after a quiet “Hello”. 

Steve and Tony arrived together, with quiet smiles meant only for each other. Thor looked on in utter jealousy – that should have been he and Loki. But Loki was gone, and he didn't know why. If Steve or Tony noticed Thor's depressed state they didn't anything, which he was grateful for. Speaking out loud would have just made it _real_ , and at that point in time he didn't know if he could handle that. 

When the bell rang Tasha dragged him up and walked with him to class. As the school bustled around them, Thor found his voice. “Where's Clint?” he asked, somewhat hoarsely. 

“Oh. Didn't I tell you? Clint's mom had her baby yesterday. He's at hospital with her.” 

“Clint's mom was _pregnant?”_

Tasha looked at him as if he was stupid. “ _Yes._ For about 9 months, believe it or not.” 

Thor's words disappeared again. Tasha gave him a small, reassuring smile as he went one way and she another. 

* 

Thor didn't know how he made it through the first two classes. He sat in a daze, waiting and waiting and waiting for the _buzz_ in his pocket that meant Loki was calling him, but it never came. By the time the bell for recess had rung Thor just wanted to cry. 

“You should go home,” Tasha said, her eyes wide with concern. “You look terrible.” 

“I feel terrible.” 

“I don't blame you.” She stopped walked and turned to face him, making him stop and blocking the flow of students around them. “Look, Thor, _go home_. You are no use to anyone here. Make an excuse at the office or something. Just... I don't think you should be here right now.” 

Thor knew she was right, but that didn't stop him protesting. “What if Loki comes into school? And I'm not here? What then?” 

She sighed. “Then I will call you, you twit. Now, fuck off.” She reached forward, gave him a peck on the cheek, and walked away. 

Resigned, Thor stumbled to the school office and asked to be let go for the day. It was never that straight forward of course, and the nurse had to come out and inspect him - “Oh _deary_ you do not look well do you!” - and then they had to phone his mother - “Thor, why didn't you stay home this morning if you felt sick?” - and then they wrote his name in the book and let him walk out the door. 

* 

Thor didn't want to go home. He felt useless at home, because there all he could do was sit and stare at his phone. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone, but he was so frustrated he felt like crying. 

He went, instead, to the willow tree. He collapsed onto the ground by its steady trunk and leaned against the bark. He closed his eyes and remembered being here with Loki, not so long ago. Unbidden, a tear escaped and rolled down his cheek. He couldn't even raise a hand to wipe it away. 

* 

He awoke, several hours later, his eyes red and itchy. He felt sore all over, probably from sleeping on the ground, but he didn't give a damn. For a while he just sat there, unsure what had woken him, and then his phone vibrated again. 

For half a second he just stared at it, then he made a mad scramble for it and with uncooperative thumbs opened up his inbox. Disappointment settled like a brick in his chest when he realized they were only from Steve, but he opened one anyway, and gasped. 

“ _Thor? Did you get my last text? I just got home and Loki's back. Thought you would want to know._ ” 

Without bothering to check the other message Thor grabbed his bag and his jacket and fled without looking back. 

* 

He ran most of the way, dodging dogs and small children, and when he arrived at Loki's he was panting and sweating and feeling rather uncomfortable. None of that mattered though because there was a car in the driveway, the windows were open and _Loki was back_. 

Propriety be damned, he smoothed down his hair and walked up to the front door. And then, he stopped, fist raised halfway to the door. So much came over him then that he didn't know what to feel or to think. Should he knock? Should he even be here? Did Loki even want to see him? What if something _bad_ had happened and they didn't want him here? 

It all burst through his head in a kaleidoscope of confusion. But in the end, that image of Loki and Briana screaming on the hillside in his dream made him bring his fist down, and he knocked three times, heart in his throat. 

Loki's father answered the door. He look exhausted, like he hadn't shaved for a few days, and his clothes were crumpled. He looked surprised for a moment, and then _not_ , like in hindsight he should have expected Thor. Thor himself didn't know what to think of this. 

“Hi Thor,” he said, his voice betraying his tiredness. “I'll see if Loki is still up for you.” 

Thor just nodded, because it was 3.30pm and Loki was in bed? Mind, his father had looked like he was in need of a bed as well. He was confused, but then elated because Loki was _alright_ , and he was going to be able to see him. If he wasn't sleeping. 

“Hey Thor,” said a voice, quiet and tired, and Thor looked up to see Loki in front of him. Something thunked in his chest, because Loki looked _terrible_. His normally smooth and gelled hair was messy and chaotic, mussed and sticking out. His eyes were red, and so were his cheeks, like he'd spent a lot of time crying (Thor imagined that he might not have looked a whole lot better). Loki looked like he'd been in the process of getting changed, and was wearing an old black shirt that Thor had never seen before and track pants. He looked dead on his feet, so tired Thor could just about see him tremble. 

“Loki...” he breathed, and stepped forward to take Loki into his arms. Loki fell into him like he was boneless, and just let himself be held, and Thor breathed him in and tried desperately not to cry. 

There was a part of him, deep down, a dark part of him that he wish never existed, that had said _maybe he's not coming back. Maybe something's happened to him, or maybe he just doesn't want to see you anymore_. It came back, right then, and flooded his mind with terrible images, but that didn't make sense because Loki was right there, in his arms. 

He closed his eyes and pulled Loki closer, and kissed the side of his face, just below his ear. He couldn't stop and kissed him again, dotting his skin until he had covered as much as he could, and then he did it again. He felt Loki start to shake and realized he was crying, and Thor practically picked him up and brought him inside. Loki's father had disappeared and no-one was in sight, and Thor found a sofa and sat them down carefully, until Loki was sprawled on his lap and crying into his shoulder. 

Thor just held him until the tears stopped, rubbing his back and kissing his cheek, and not asking anything of him. A little piece of his heart was breaking because Loki was so upset, so sad about something and Thor didn't know what it was. All he could do was hold him. 

After a while – Thor didn't know how long, it could have been minutes or it could have been hours – Loki sniffled and sat up a bit, until Thor could see him. For a moment no-one talked, but Thor didn't feel the need to say anything right then, he just wanted to be able to look at Loki like this and _know_ that he was alright. He smoothed a finger down Loki's cheek and just waited, until Loki could speak. 

“I'm so sorry,” were the first words out of Loki's mouth, and he looked as if he was about to cry again. 

Thor didn't understand. He shook his head, let his hand cup Loki's neck. “Don't be sorry, it's ok.” 

Loki hiccupped. “I told you we were going to be home on Sunday, Thor it's Tuesday and I am so sorry...” 

“Please don't be sorry,” Thor whispered. “Please tell me what's wrong.” 

Loki sighed, and swallowed hard. “We... we went to the specialist, on Sunday, like we were supposed to.” He stopped and took in a deep breath. “She thought that maybe Briana had asthma and wanted to check her for allergies. She...” Loki stopped again, and Thor could tell from the look on his face that he was probably going to start crying again. He squeezed Loki and kissed his cheek, and that seemed to give him strength to go on. “She tested all these things on her. Briana... she had a reaction, to something...” Tears were sliding down Loki's cheeks and Thor brushed them away with a finger. “Her... her lips started swelling and then her face, and and...” He took another deep, shaky breath. “She couldn't breathe properly, it was all wheezy, and then she stopped breathing...” Loki gasped and couldn't hold back his tears, and Thor pulled him closer. 

“She was blue, she was _dying_ , and I couldn't do anything...” Loki was sobbing, and shaking in his arms, and Thor felt his own tears slide down his cheeks as he realized how terribly helpless Loki would have felt, watching her like that. “God Thor it was horrible...” he wailed, sounding like his heart was breaking, and it probably was, and then Thor's stomach was a leaden weight and his heart felt heavy, and then he couldn't breathe because _what if_... 

“Loki? Is she alright?” he asked, voice so unlike what it usually was, because it was cracked and broken. Against his shoulder, he felt Loki nod, and he let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. “Thank god,” he breathed, and closed his eyes to bury his face in Loki's hair. 

“They gave her epinephrine and the reaction, it stopped, it went away... but her breathing was still bad, it wasn't right... she had to stay in hospital for two nights, on a ventilator, they didn't let us go home until today.” 

Thor felt like something inside him was tearing apart. These past two days while he had been panicking, missing Loki so badly, Loki had been in hospital with Briana and she had been so sick... He couldn't imagine it, what he had been through, and there was nothing he could say, no words that could make anything like that better. 

“I'm so sorry, baby...” he whispered. “I'm so sorry.” 

“Me too,” Loki said through his tears. “God I wanted to call you, to hear your voice, to let you know... Thor, Thor it's so fucking stupid...” He sat up then, tears still streaming down his face, and he reached for the coffee table in front of them. “Look.” He pulled something from under a piece of paper and held it up, and Thor recognized it as Loki's phone... but something had happened to it, because it was warped and bent in two different directions, and the screen was smashed... 

Thor stifled a giggle, because right then that was all he could do. “Oh my god... what happened to it?” 

Loki flushed, though it was hard to tell. “I closed it in the car door,” he mumbled, quite timidly, but then he looked up at Thor and when he saw the smile on his face he couldn't help but break into a smile too. “I'm an idiot, aren't I?” 

Thor laughed but shook his head. “No, no you aren't an idiot. That's not an uncommon occurrence, I hear. Bad timing, perhaps.” 

“Very bad timing,” Loki agreed. “And I didn't have your number anywhere else. I even looked you up in the White Pages but you weren't listed.” 

Thor cursed his father under his breath. “My father refuses to have us listed. I don't know why. It's stupid.” 

“Stupid yeah...” Loki said, and sagged with exhaustion against Thor and closed his eyes. “I'm so tired. I don't think I've slept since Saturday.” 

“Go to bed,” Thor said softly, because even though that meant having to let go of Loki he couldn't bear to see him so tired. 

Loki just nodded, but didn't move, and Thor had to prise the dead phone out of his hand and put it back on the table. Loki was practically asleep in his arms, and nice though it was, Thor figured Loki would be better in a bed. He rearranged his arms and then lifted Loki gently, letting his head rest against his chest. He stood and looked around him, but the house seemed deserted. He figured that if everyone else was as exhausted as Loki, as it appeared they had all gone to the hospital as well, they were probably in bed too. 

Quietly, he turned and headed down the hallway. He had no idea which room was Loki's, especially since most of the doors were shut. One at the end of the hall was open though, and Thor tried that first. There was a double bed, hastily made with a dark green comforter, a desk with a laptop and stereo system, and a tall bookshelf crammed with books next to a wooden bureau laden with bottles and boxes and apparently more hair products than a pharmacy. Then Thor spotted Loki's bag hanging on the desk chair, and he figured that it could have only been Loki's room. He entered it slowly, and laid Loki on one side of the bed. He pulled the comforter down on the other side and pulled Loki over so he was under the covers. Pulling the blanket up under Loki's chin, Thor bent down and kissed him softly on both cheeks. Loki murmured something but promptly turned over and fell asleep, and Thor had to grin. 

He stood back up and looked around, because this was the first time he had been in Loki's room and he had to admit that he was curious. Apart from the desk, shelf and bureau there was little furniture, just a large wardrobe full of clothes. There was a door, too, and Thor assumed it led to an en suite bathroom. He gave it a miss and turned to leave, and stood on something that crunched under his feet. 

He bent down and picked it up. It was a little blue case, and curious, he opened it. There were several leaves, full of pills, though the first leaf was missing half. He flipped it over in his hands, trying to figure out what it was, but all he could find was a little engraved brand name - _Seasonique_. He shrugged and put it back on the bedside table, figuring Loki had some use for it, whatever it was. 

He kissed Loki once more, and smoothed down his hair, before he crept out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him. The house was quiet, but it was no longer the lonely emptiness of the past few days. He looked around him once more before closing the door and walking back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seasonique is a type of birth control pill. I had to Google it, as we have different ones here in New Zealand, so if I get anything about it wrong I apologise :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning for slight sub/dom overtones later in chapter :)

His mom arrived home not 5 minutes after he did, and took one look at him and told him to go to bed. Usually, this would have been cause for an epic argument, but after sleeping so poorly the last two nights he was exhausted. He divested himself of clothing and tumbled into bed, falling asleep within seconds.

* 

He was wide awake before his alarm the next morning, because the first thought that had entered his head when sleep began to release him was that Loki was home and well and he would see him again that day... It was enough for him to toss the comforter away and sit up, and he dismissed the idea of going back to sleep, not when he had much better things to do. 

He was halfway through a box of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts when his mother came down to the kitchen, dressed in her robe and still yawning. She stopped when she saw Thor, already dressed and with a pile of Pop-Tart wrappers next to him. 

“I take it you feel better, then?” she asked, and Thor detected a hint of suspicion in her voice. He figured it wasn't going to end well. 

“Much better,” he said brightly, and smiled, hoping she would just leave it. 

She never did. 

“What's going on, Thor?” she asked, tightening the robe belt around her waist. “You've been acting so strangely lately. Is there something I should know about?” 

Thor sighed into his Pop-Tart. “No mom, everything's ok.” 

She sat down at the other end of the table, directly opposite him. Thor felt like breakfast had suddenly become an interrogation. He nibbled at his Pop-Tart and tried to looked innocent. It was a look he had struggled to perfect. 

“What is it? You haven't decided to start taking drugs or drinking have you? Have you been hanging out with Tony too often?” 

Thor choked on a mouthful of frosting. “No, mom,” he said hastily. “No drugs. No drinking.” _Well, not **that** much drinking, anyway._ “And yes, I have been hanging around with Tony. Not that often though. And really, he isn't that bad. Most of the time.” 

“Then what?” she asked, and spread her hands wide. “I'm your mother, Thor. You can tell me anything.” 

Thor had no intention of doing _that._ Some things parents just didn't need to know. Also, experience told him he wouldn't be going anywhere until he coughed up something. And it had to be truthful, because his mother had an uncanny ability to detect when he was lying. _Mother's instinct,_ she'd told him once. She knew _everything_. It was disturbing. 

Thor coughed, because he didn't quite know how to phrase this. “I, uh, meet someone...” he said awkwardly, eyes glued to the table, and felt his face grow red. He wished he'd had the presence of mind to leave the house before she was awake. 

His mother was sharp. _Too_ sharp. “That boy you invited around a couple of weeks ago?” she asked, her tone all-knowing, and something inside him just rolled up and died, because _nothing_ escaped her. Not for the first time, he wondered if she had some sort of psychic ability she refused to talk about just so she could forever be one-up over him. He loved his mother, he really did, but some things she just _did not_ need to know. 

He sighed. “Yeah, him.” 

His mother just nodded, and looked thoughtful. “Hmmm. Well, ok. I trust that one day soon you'll invite him around and I can meet him properly?” 

If that was all she was worried about, then Thor had gotten off easy. He swallowed the last of his Pop-Tart, nodded his head, said “Sure” through a mouthful of crumbs, got up from the table and prepared to flee to his room. Before he got more than a few steps, his mother held her hand up as if to tell him to stop. Thor's body betrayed him, and obeyed. He stared at her rather like a deer would stare at the headlights of a car about to hit it. 

“Are you sleeping together?” she asked casually, as if she was asking about the weather. 

Thor's tongue fell down his throat. She had really gone there. It was **the** question. It wasn't the first time he had been asked it, and he highly doubted it would be his last, but it never got better. His face was burning red and he was pretty sure she knew the answer before he said it. 

“Yes,” he squeaked, and ran for the hills. He just wanted to throw himself down on his bed and _die_. 

* 

He'd recovered sufficiently by 8am, just in time to head to school. His mother had long departed, sending a cheerful “Goodbye!” through his door before venturing back to add, “Make sure you use condoms!” He'd thrown his pillow at the door, but she was long gone. 

All in all, he was feeling reasonably discomfited on his way to school. He wasn't sure how he felt about his mother knowing about Loki and him, or about how they were sleeping together. It wasn't the first relationship his mother had been able to sniff out – and sure, he'd been embarrassed, but not like _this_. He guessed that he had been a little scared that his mother wouldn't have approved, and because there was no way in hell he was giving Loki up for anything he would have been faced with the torturous decision of choosing between his boyfriend and his parents. It was a choice he hoped he'd never have to make. 

The walk and the fresh air eventually cleared his head, and by the time he'd arrived at school he was feeling a little less freaked out and a little more calm and relaxed. Loki wasn't there, but he hadn't been expecting him, considering how tired he was the night before. The others were there though, and without even greeting him Tasha asked him about Loki. 

“Because by the look on your face, he's back?” she asked, eyebrows up by her hairline, and Thor couldn't help but notice she was wearing brown mascara. 

“Yeah. Home yesterday. Didn't Steve tell you?” he asked, and jerked his head in Steve's direction. 

“No,” Tasha said, and sounded a little threatening. 

Steve shrank back from her and offered a weak smile. “Uh, sorry?” 

“Hmmph. And you,” she said, turning to Thor and crossing her arms, “why didn't _you_ text me?” 

For the second time that morning, Thor felt like he was on the wrong end of an interrogation. He was getting really sick of this. “Because after I went around to see him, I went home and I went to bed. I was exhausted.” 

“You could have texted me on your way home.” 

Thor was saved by the bell. He grinned apologetically at Tasha and ran away as fast as he could. 

* 

It was lunchtime. The sun was shining, the cafeteria was full, the food was overcooked. It was a typical day, except for the empty seat next to Thor. He missed Loki, but he was at least at ease now that he knew Loki was ok. He couldn't wait for the end of the day so he could see him again. 

With that mind, he ignored the burnt taste of the lasagna and dug in. 

“That looks... appetizing,” said a voice at his shoulder, one Thor would recognize anywhere. 

“Loki?!” he asked and spun around, his mouth half full of food. 

“Actually, now it's not so appetiing,” Loki said with a wince, and promptly sat down. “Chew properly and swallow your food before you get indigestion.” 

Thor obeyed. “What are you doing here?” he asked, before the food had even made it to his stomach. 

Loki shrugged. “I've missed enough classes. You have sauce around your mouth.” Thor wiped it off with the back of his hand, not giving a damn about the smear of red that now stained his skin. “That's better,” Loki said, and kissed him, hard and long. 

Tony hollered, Clint whistled, Steve moaned and covered his face with his hands, Tasha gave a smug grin and smacked Thor on the back with her hand, encouraging him on, and Bruce looked up for a moment from his textbook, blinked, and went back to reading. Not far from them, a group of girls gave Thor the death stare. 

“Wow,” Thor gasped when they finally parted, and all he could see was Loki's face, shining up at him, his lips swollen and red. “I missed you too.” 

“You're sick, Odinson, just sick,” Tony said, the grin on his face suggesting that he didn't mean a word. 

“Fuck off, Tony,” Thor said, also not meaning a word. He pushed his place away and shuffled closer to Loki, ignoring everything else around them. “How are you feeling?” 

“I'm good,” Loki said quietly, smiling softly, and Thor had the feeling he still wasn't 100%, but he was trying. 

“How's Briana?” 

Loki's smile faltered, but only for half a second. “She's doing ok. She has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow afternoon.” 

“Which hospital?” Thor asked, hoping like hell Loki wasn't going to be heading out of town again. 

“Just the local one this time,” Loki said. “Just to make sure everything's alright.” 

Thor wanted to say something reassuring, something to make everything better – but he couldn't help remembering that he told Loki that everything was going to be alright before they went to the hospital, and then nothing had gone right... and he'd sat with Loki, just yesterday, as he cried his heart out. He didn't ever want to hear those sounds from Loki, ever again. 

So instead he took Loki's hands and squeezed them, and tried to tell him without words how much he loved him, and how much he wanted Briana to be ok, and everything to be alright. Loki stared back and Thor watched as those beautiful green eyes filled with something that looked like tears, until he wanted to kiss them away. 

Tony, as he tended to do, ruined the moment. “Hey, Loki. Where'd ya go, anyway?” he asked, mouth full of lasagna. Thor could see his food as he ate and felt his stomach turn. 

Loki looked just as impressed. “I... we, um my family, went somewhere on Sunday. It just took longer than we expected, that's all. And I broke my phone so I couldn't call Thor.” 

Tony raised a skeptical eyebrow. Thor realized he was about to ask questions, and quickly changed the subject. “Uh, Clint, I heard your mom had a baby?” 

Tony was staring daggers, but Clint was beaming and talking about his new little brother and how he was quite possibly the cutest thing he'd ever seen (even cuter than Barton #3, Stephanie, who had blond pigtails down to her waist and liked to dress like a cowboy) and Tasha was smiling knowingly into her lasagna. Thor only noticed Loki, who was staring at him with an utterly relieved, gratified expression on his face, and then Thor realized that he was the only person that Loki trusted to know about what had happened on the weekend. It gave him a bout of warm fuzzies, and he ate the rest of his lasagna without noticing the burnt taste. 

* 

Loki was waiting for him at final bell, leaning against the wall opposite his classroom. Thor couldn't help but snatch a kiss as they met, and Loki gave him one of those smiles that he had never seen him give to anyone else. He took Loki's hand and they walked slowly out of the school, making those in a hurry move around them. 

“When do you have to be home?” Thor asked, just wanting, no, _needing_ to spend a little time with Loki that didn't involve their being in a hurry. 

“I have a few hours,” Loki said, and grinned in such a way that made Thor suspect that he had purposely planned for this. Well, Thor wasn't going to complain. 

He squeezed Loki's hand. “We can go to my house, though I think my mom was going to be home early today.” 

Loki nodded slowly, but he didn't look completely happy. “Uh... do you think we could go somewhere with a bit more... _privacy?”_

It took Thor's brain all of 0.2 seconds to connect the dots. “Oh. Yes. That could be arranged.” He swallowed and tried very hard to not walk like he had a baseball shoved down the front of his pants. “But to be honest, there aren't very many places that private around here... how do you feel about the woods?” 

Loki shrugged, and looked at him with a sly smile. “Never fucked in the woods before.” 

* 

They went as deep into the woods as they could, staying away from the trails, until the only noises they could hear were the rushing of the nearby stream and the soft calls of birds in the trees above. Thor led Loki to a group of rocks that he had sometimes clambered on as a boy, when he had dared to venture so deep into the woods. Over time he had forgotten about them, but the memory came back slowly, filled with holes. 

Loki looked around curiously as they approached, holding out a hand to glide it over the rough surface of the stone. “Where did these rocks come from?” 

Thor shrugged. “No-one knows. Not many people even know they are here.” 

“How come you know?” 

Thor smiled. “I spent half my childhood playing in these woods. And no, I never met any serial killers.” 

Loki laughed, the sound light and cheerful. “Maybe they just looked from afar.” 

“Maybe they're watching now,” Thor whispered, and pulled Loki into his arms to nuzzle at his neck. 

Whatever Loki was going to say next died in the breath that he gasped as Thor's lips touched his skin. The pleasure swirled through him until his body was singing with sheer ecstasy and all he could sense was Thor, and he had to press close to him because all he wanted was to feel him and be part of him. Then Thor moved to his lips and they kissed for what seemed forever, but it wasn't long enough. 

He moaned as Thor broke the kiss, but it was only to pull his jacket off, and Loki bit his lip to smother a giggle as Thor laid his jacket on the ground for Loki to lay on. 

“You're a gentleman,” he said, his smile breaking through. 

“For you, I'd be anything,” Thor said, and suddenly Loki couldn't breathe. “Come,” Thor said softly, and held out a hand. 

Loki let him help him down, and he lay on his back and looked up at Thor, who stood above him as he slowly undressed. Loki watched the lines of his arms as he lifted his shirt over his head, and his chest when it was bare, and the ridges of his stomach, and felt something flutter inside him and his body grow warm. He watched as Thor's hands unwound his belt and his jeans and pushed them down, until he was as naked as he could be, half hard already. 

Loki spread his legs to let Thor kneel between them, not moving as Thor's hand moved to his hips. “You're so beautiful like this,” Thor whispered, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, and then he was undoing Loki's jeans. Loki let him slide them off, and closed his eyes as he felt Thor settle over him, all hard muscle and heavy weight. 

“You're beautiful too,” he whispered, and spread his hands on Thor's back, tracing the ridges and hollows under his fingertips. He felt Thor shiver and relished that he even had this sort of control over him, because Thor had strength and power that he did not. 

Thor's blood was roiling, roaring in his ears, and all he could see or feel was Loki, spread out beneath him. He kissed him, again and again, his hands gliding up Loki's arms and cupping his neck, moving through his hair and across his cheeks. 

He was so hard it almost hurt, and he could feel Loki against him, cock rubbing up against his stomach. He shifted his hips and heard Loki cry out, then did it again and saw him throw his head back in bliss, eyes closed and mouth open. Watching Loki's face he moved again, thrusting his hips, and then those hands on his back were clenching in pleasure, fingernails digging into his flesh. 

Loki was moaning, begging Thor for more all while he spread his legs even further, desperate for friction. “Thor, _fuck,_ I swear if you don't do something soon...” he panted, and cried out as Thor's cock dragged over his. “Shit! _Thor!”_

“Ok, ok...” Thor murmured, and eased himself back onto his knees. He shuffled down and slid his hands over Loki's knees, holding them apart. He bent forward and kissed Loki's inner thighs, first one and then the another, until he had dotted kisses right down to the juncture of his thigh and hip. 

Loki was shaking under his hands. Thor looked up at him, just to make sure he was alright, but Loki's head was thrown back and all he could hear was pleading moans, so he assumed he was on the right track and bent back down. He ran a hand up Loki's cock, eliciting a squeal, and explored the head with his thumb, smearing drops of precum. He licked it off slowly, and looked up under his eyelashes to see Loki arching his back in his pleasure. 

Without warning he took Loki into his mouth and sucked hard, and Loki keened so loudly he was in no doubt that anyone within a half mile radius would have heard. So he did it again. He held Loki down as he sucked, half-suspecting that Loki enjoyed the rough handling just as much as he did the blowjob, because he seemed to fight just to make Thor hold him harder. It made him want to push, to see just how much Loki enjoyed it, and just how far he'd let him go. 

He let Loki slip out of his mouth, and then spat on his fingers, because such an impromptu meeting meant he hadn't any lube. He rubbed Loki's entrance gently and felt him quiver under his fingertips, and cautiously he slid his middle finger in. Loki clenched around him and then relaxed, and Thor thrust it in and out, in and out to a quiet chorus of deep sighs. He pressed another in alongside and pressed down on Loki's hips to keep him still as he tried to buck with ecstasy. 

“No no no... I got you, stay still,” Thor said, and pressed down even harder, and Loki's eyes flew open and gazed at him with a wild sort of detached lust. “Don't...” Thor hissed as Loki opened his mouth to speak, and he watched with a foreign salaciousness as Loki closed his mouth, pouted, and bit his lip so hard it looked like it was almost bleeding. 

He could feel Loki's hips rotating just slightly in time with the thrusts of his fingers, trying both to take him deeper and to get his fingers to brush his prostate, but Thor stubbornly refused to cooperate until Loki was begging him through clenched teeth. Then all he did was withdraw his fingers and sit there, staring down at Loki, trying hard to act as though he was in control, when all he wanted to do was fuck into him so roughly he would feel it for days. 

His cock was throbbing, straining, and he wrapped a hand around it, feeling his body betray him as the pleasure made him groan. Loki was smirking from under his black hair, and intoxicating lust burned through him. Giving in, he pulled over his jeans and rummaged through the pockets until he found his wallet. He pulled out a condom – lubed, thank god – and wasted no time in getting it on. Loki watched him the whole time, looking rather debauched – naked and so open in front of him. 

Thor knelt back down and lifted Loki's knees, then reached down and grabbed his hips. He jerked Loki towards him until he was flush against him, and tucked his knees over his shoulders. He leaned forward until he was covering Loki, dominating him completely, and without even doing anything Loki was suddenly breathing hard, his eyes wide and dark. Thor didn't say anything, just gathered both of Loki's thin wrists in one hand and lifted them over Loki's head, until his arms were stretched out behind him and held down by Thor's strong hand. 

It was heady, this sudden control, having Loki trapped under his body. It was something he'd never done with anyone else before, and he wouldn't be doing it now unless Loki enjoyed it too. Up til now that was what he had thought, but a deep stab of guilt made him take a breath. 

“Is this ok?” Thor asked breathlessly, referring not to the sex but to the domination, though Loki seemed to understand. 

Beneath Thor, Loki's lips curled up into a smirk and his eyes sparkled, and that look alone was enough to reassure Thor. “Do I have permission to speak?” Loki asked with a grin, making Thor laugh. 

“Yes. For now,” Thor said, and smirked right back. 

“Then yes. This is very ok.” 

“Good,” Thor murmured, and kissed him. “I'm going to fuck you now.” 

Loki shivered, his eyes fluttering closed, and Thor watched him even as his other hand drifted to his cock, and he pressed into Loki as gently as he could. Loki's mouth opened in a silent moan and his head fell back to press into the earth, and Thor felt him everywhere around him – clenching around his cock, legs tangled and pressed into his back, chest heaving against his, wrists and hands trapped by his hand. He pushed as deep as he could, until he could go no further, then slowly pulled out, and Loki gasped and trembled beneath him. 

He fucked him slowly, at first, keeping his rhythm regular and steady, until Loki was begging him with his eyes and his body to go harder, and then he started to slam in deep, making Loki's body shift beneath him with each thrust. 

“Scream for me,” he whispered into Loki's ear, and Loki did. He screamed and he cried out, his voice echoing in the trees and startling the birds. Loki gasped and moaned with every thrust, his face flushed and desperate, and Thor just couldn't watch anything else, because Loki's pleasure was so intense and so beautiful to see. 

“Oh _fuck_ harder baby, fuck me harder,” Loki begged, his hands curling around Thor's, tensing and testing his strength. Thor pushed down harder around his hands and then really started to fuck him, and Loki lost it, his body writhing and shaking and his limbs trembling. 

Loki came first, untouched, arching up so hard into Thor he could feel every hollow and every ridge of his body, and he marvelled at how well Loki fit into him, like he'd been made against his mold. Thor watched as he came, saw how Loki bit into his lip until his skin was glistening red, and bent down to kiss away the blood as he let himself go and felt his body react beyond his control. Power rushed through his limbs and pulsed in his muscles and pleasure filled everywhere else, leaving him drained and utterly sated. 

For a while they just lay there, bodies pressed into each other, the jacket beneath them the only comfort from the hard ground. Thor wasn't sure how long they stayed there, but when he sat upright he saw that the sun was much lower in the sky than it had been when they had started their trek into the woods, and they ought to start heading back before anyone missed them. 

“You alright?” he asked Loki, who was still spread out on the jacket, his eyes closed. 

“Yeah,” Loki said sleepily, just opening his eyes long enough to peer at Thor before closing them again. 

“You look tired.” 

“You _made_ me tired.” 

“You asked for it.” 

Loki giggled and opened his eyes properly, and threw up a hand to encourage Thor to lay back down with him. “Do you think those serial killers are still watching?” he asked, a glint in his eyes. 

“Probably,” Thor said seriously. “Likely they've taken video as well and our sex tape will be all over YouPorn by tonight.” Loki's giggles overtook him and he pressed his face into Thor's chest, trying to stifle them. “I don't know why you're laughing, it's a very serious matter!” That didn't help, and Loki's entire body started to shake with laughter. Thor smiled and tightened his arms around him. 

He held Loki for a while, until his laughter had died down. He couldn't help but think of the conversation with his mother that morning, though it was very unsexy. He pressed a kiss to Loki's forehead. 

“Hey babe...” he started, and kissed Loki again. “Do your parents know you're gay?” he asked quietly, not sure if he even had the right to ask the question. 

Loki untucked his head and looked up at him, hair all mussed and messy, his eyes wide. “Yeah. I think they knew before I did.” 

“And they don't care?” 

“No. Well, I think my dad was kinda hoping for a son he could do manly things with, but he's never been upset at me about it.” 

“Me too,” Thor mused. “My mother knew before I told her as well.” 

“What about your dad?” 

Thor sighed. “He's alright. I dunno, I think maybe he thought that I was going to go all girly on him, but I still like football and cars and beer, so I think he's forgiven me.” 

Loki laughed quietly, but his eyes were thoughtful. He looked like he wanted to say something, and seemed to get nervous, but when Thor rubbed his shoulder and kissed his cheek he appeared to calm down. 

“Should we head home?” Loki asked, his voice high-pitched and unfamiliar, and though Thor knew this was unusual he didn't press, and just nodded his head. 

“Let's go home.” 

* 

Afterwards, when he was at home, Thor couldn't shake the feeling Loki was keeping something from him. First there had been the time in his bedroom when Loki had been so uncomfortable about Thor questioning him about Briana, and then the time after that when Loki had refused to let him touch his stomach or his chest. Thor couldn't help but feel those things were related, and all the other things like his strict curfew and why he had to be the one to take care of Briana all the time. It seemed like the answer was out there somewhere, and Thor became more and more curious, but no matter how much he tried to fit it all together he could never find a clear picture. 

* 

The next day, Loki was at school, looking well-rested and eager to be back. It just felt like everything was _right_ , with him there, even thought Thor couldn't shake the lingering feeling Loki was holding back on him about something. He already thought Loki so perfect, so beautiful, so wonderful that he couldn't imagine Loki hiding something that could possibly change his mind. He just wished that Loki could understand that. 

* 

Loki was nowhere to be seen after the final bell, having skipped off early for an appointment. Thor resigned himself to walking home alone, but Tasha accosted him before he'd made it out of the school gate. 

“Thor!” she called, and he waited for her to catch up. 

“What's up?” he asked, wondering why she wasn't off with Clint. 

“Clint's gone to the hospital to visit his mom and the baby,” she explained. “So I'm bored and I'm going to hang out with you.” 

Thor laughed, because that was so typical of Tasha. He would never admit that he was glad of the company. “Fine,” he said, “as long as we can get burgers.” 

“Burgers? I can handle burgers!” 

* 

After eating (Tasha's shout) she dragged Thor down to the local mall. They trawled a few clothing shops and the music shop and talked each other out of buying puppies at the pet store before Tasha gave a small cry of remembrance and dragged Thor towards the pharmacy. 

“I have to pick up a prersciption, I knew we were down here for a reason!” she said, and Thor followed obligingly. He didn't mind shopping with Tasha, he really didn't (she had pretty good taste in clothes), but she often changed her mind about clothes and shops without blinking an eye. This was just another sudden detour. 

He waited quietly as she filled her order, then figured he might as well use his time wisely and bought more lube and condoms. The girl behind the counter raised her eyebrows at him but he took the high road and ignored her. 

“Thor! Where ya been?” Tasha asked, running up to him with a brown bag in her hand. 

He held up his bag. “Just buying stuff. Got tired of waiting for you.” 

“What d'ya get?” she asked brightly, shouldering him. “Or should I guess.” 

He knew damn well what she'd guess and didn't even bother to make her. He opened the bag and let her peer inside. “Birth control. What a good boy!” She smiled up at him and Thor poked out his tongue. “Hey, look, you aren't the only one.” She opened her brown bag and pulled out a little blue case that looked oddly familiar. Then Thor realized it looked exactly the same as the one he'd found in Loki's room the other day. 

“Hey, what is that?” he asked, utterly curious by now. 

Tasha waved it. “Seasonique.” 

“Yeah, but what _is_ it?” 

“It's the pill,” Tasha said, and tucked it back into the bag. 

“No, I meant what _kind_ of pill?” Thor asked, by now rather confused. 

Tasha just stared at him. “You aren't serious.” 

“Deadly.” 

“Thor, it's _the_ pill. Ya know, contraceptive?” she explained, and stared at him like he was completely stupid. Thor stared back, because he felt like he'd been hit by a brick. What the fuck was Loki doing with _birth control_ pills? It was just another piece of the puzzle that didn't seem to fit anywhere. He tried like hell to not look utterly confused and let Tasha led him to the book store. 

* 

By the time they had stumbled out of the mall, Thor laden down with all of Tasha's shopping bags while she carried her school bag, the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon and Thor knew he'd catch hell at home. He'd been thinking so hard about this puzzle that Loki had presented him with that he'd forgotten to call his mother to let her know he'd be home late. But he'd already promised Tasha he'd help carry all her bags home, so he followed behind her dutifully and tried to pretend he was interested in what she was saying. 

Tasha's place wasn't far from his. It was an old California bungalow which her parents had recently redecorated (Thor had been roped in to help strip wallpaper. He was never doing that again. Ever). He could smell dinner cooking as they went inside, and at some point Clint had come around, because he was busy regaling Tasha's parents with stories of his new sibling. They looked utterly delighted and Tasha looked terrified. 

“I don't want children,” she hissed into Thor's ear. “Hence the contraceptives. Clint just never helps.” Then she plastered a grin onto her face and said hello to her parents. 

Thor had to make his excuses and put Tasha's bags into her room for her to sort out later. Clint and Tasha came out with him, to say goodbye, and just when Thor thought they'd leave him be to let him sort through his head Clint added another jagged piece to the puzzle. 

“Hey, Thor, I saw Loki at the hospital,” Clint said casually. “He was there with his little sister.” 

The mention of Loki made all the little puzzle pieces in his head start to whirl. “Oh,” Thor said, noncommittingly, and Tasha raised an eyebrow. “How was he?” 

“I dunno, I didn't have time to stop and ask because he went into another room before I could say hello.” The way Clint was talking and the look on his face made Thor think he had something else to say, that he was dying to get out. He shot Clint a look that just said _get on with it._ “He was there by himself,” he said in a rush, shifting from foot to foot. “I don't know why they'd let him bring her for an appointment without their parents. It was really weird. They don't usually let you do that if the kid's under 5.” 

Thor felt like Tasha and Clint were staring hard at him, waiting for him to say something, but there was nothing he could say, because his mind was leaping from theory to idea to possibility to excuse and he couldn't get anything straight. In the end all he could do was shrug, mumble a goodbye and head off home as fast as he could. Maybe the walk would help him sort everything out. 

It didn't. 

He sat through the dressing down from his mother without even giving a damn, because suddenly that didn't matter anymore, and as soon as she let him go he stumbled upstairs and locked himself in his room. 

His head was screaming. 

He found his phone, and fumbled through a text message. 

“ _Loki? Can we talk? Plse?_ ”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I was hoping to have this up yesterday but I have no proper internet where I am staying at the moment :(. But on a brighter note, the next chapter is virtually written, it just needs editing and then it should be up soon!!
> 
> Just a note on this chapter... I'm sorry if my idea of 'mpreg' doesn't gel with anybody else's. But please note this is my universe and I shall bullshit my way through it the best I can :D.

The reply came as he was laying on his bed, nursing one hell of a headache. It was late but he couldn't sleep, because his mind was racing and he felt inexplicably anxious, like everything was going to change from now on. He felt the phone vibrate in his mind and took a moment to open it, because he wasn't sure what he wanted to find.

“ _Yeah of course. What about?_ ” 

It was a good question. Thor found himself struggling to reply, because it was so hard to put into words, all this... There was so much going on inside his head that he couldn't just pluck one thing out of it and write it down, because it wouldn't have made any sense. He fumbled over the reply, and rewrote it ten times, and still wasn't happy with it when he sent it. 

“ _Theres sumthing u arent tellng me, I think? Im worried about u. Please talk 2 me._ ” 

Loki didn't reply straight away, and Thor hoped to god he wasn't upset, because that was never his intention. He had never been very good with words anyway, and this was so completely out of his league that he was pretty sure that no matter what he had written, it would never have been _right_. 

His phone beeped. He picked it up with shaking hands. 

“ _There is something... Thor I'm so sorry. Are you mad at me??_ ” 

Thor didn't hesitate in his reply. “ _No. I could neva b angry w/ u._ ” Something like relief rushed through his head, because there _was_ something after all, and he wasn't just imagining it. 

“ _I don't want to tell you over text. Can you come to my house before school tomorrow?_ ” 

Thor scrubbed at his face with a hand. He hadn't been sure from the outset where this conversation was going to lead, but maybe Loki was right, and face to face would be easier than over text. “ _Yes :) c u tomoro, sleep well :)_ ”. 

* 

He was up early the next morning, having not been able to sleep much. He was getting far too used to these early mornings, and had at least found some beauty in being up before the rest of the world. On the fridge door he left a note for his mom, and didn't bother to grab any breakfast before he left, because his stomach was rolling so badly the thought of food made him nauseous. 

He walked slowly to Loki's house, not sure what time he'd even be up, but wanting to leave enough time for them to talk. There was so much going through his head that it felt fit to burst, and still he couldn't weave it all together to make much of a coherent picture, which was what made him so anxious. Above all, above everything else, he just hoped like hell that Loki was ok and that this, whatever it was, wouldn't affect whatever they had become - he couldn't imagine life without Loki now. 

Before he even realized it, he was at Loki's door. He stood there for a few minutes, gathering himself and his courage from the floor. Taking a deep breath, he raised his fist and knocked, because he just couldn't stand there like an idiot any longer. Loki's mom opened the door almost straight away and she must have been expecting him because she smiled, said good morning and told him Loki was in his room. 

He made his way down to the Loki's room, where he found him sitting on his bed, half dressed in his track pants and a blue shirt. Loki smiled, but it looked forced, and Thor felt his stomach flip. He sat down next to Loki and opened his arms for a hug, which was gratefully received if Loki's soft sigh was anything to go by. 

“What is it?” he asked, his voice quiet and hoarse. He felt Loki tense up against him, and tightened his arms around him. 

For a moment there was nothing, and then Loki spoke, his voice muffled from where he was pressed against Thor's chest. “I'm so sorry. I let you believe something that wasn't true because I didn't want you to know the truth. I was afraid of what you would think of me. I've been lying to you.” Loki was stiff in his arms, as if he was expecting Thor to push him away, but Thor couldn't really do anything anyway, because he was trying to process what Loki had just said. 

“What... what is it?” he asked, everything still a little fuzzy, like he was fumbling for a light switch in the dark. 

Loki sniffed, and Thor realized with a start that he was crying, so silently that he hadn't noticed it until now. Silently cursing at himself he reached for the box of tissues next to Loki's bed and pulled a couple out for him, and made him dry his cheeks. 

Loki clutched at the tissues but refused to look at Thor, who thought that perhaps the red on his cheeks was from more than just crying. This wasn't at all what he wanted, and still not sure what was happening and where this was all going, Thor did the only thing that made sense to him in that moment and pulled Loki completely onto his lap. Loki promptly buried his head in his neck, as if to hide. 

“I don't want you to hate me,” Loki said, his voice muffled, but Thor heard the words anyway and felt his stomach churn. 

“Loki, I could never hate you,” Thor said, wondering just the hell would make Loki say something like that. 

“I haven't told you what it is yet.” 

“It doesn't matter what it is.” 

Loki sighed and sat up, wiping his eyes. He smiled but there was no humor in it, just a suggestion of pain that made Thor's breath catch in his throat. "You say that, but..." 

"But what?" Thor asked before Loki could finish, because he knew exactly where he was going. "Please tell me." 

Loki looked away, at something Thor couldn't see. “Briana..." Loki began, but seemed to lose courage before he could find his next words. Thor tightened his arms in response, unable to find words himself, though he had _known_ , somehow, that she was at the center of this, whatever it was. The small smile that Loki gave him before he turned away again was sad, and it wavered, but then Loki took a deep breath and continued, his voice toneless. "She's, um, she's not my sister. She's my daughter."

"Oh," Thor said, because the air had vanished from his lungs and he couldn't say anything else. "Oh." His brain was moving a mile a minute and getting nowhere fast, because apparently resetting what you thought you knew was a difficult and somewhat confusing and almost painful process. For the first time in his life, Thor felt like he didn't know what to do. Loki was refusing to look at him, as if he was afraid of what he would see, and for a split second Thor was almost pleased at that, but the thought and feeling disappeared so quickly he wasn't even sure if that was what he had felt. What was left was confusion. 

Thor needed to think, to work through this, and to ask questions, most especially _why_. He almost didn't know where to start. "Loki?" he asked, not sure what he was even asking, but needing to speak nonetheless. 

Loki just shook his head, keeping it turned away, but Thor could see enough to see that his teeth were worrying his bottom lip and his cheeks were shiny with tears. "I'm so sorry," Loki blurted again. "I should have told you." 

Thor couldn't argue with that, and didn't. He wanted to press the point, that Loki should have been honest, but for some reason he couldn't - in the face of Loki's tears, it seemed heartless. "I wish you had," he settled for instead, his mind only half focused. He was still reeling from Loki's confession. 

Loki nodded numbly, fumbling at his cheeks with the tissues as if they could erase more than just tears. "I am sorry, please believe me," he said shakily. "God, this is hard to explain." Exhausted, he slumped against Thor's chest, still mumbling apologies through the tears that hadn't stopped. 

Thor kissed the top of his head and held him tighter, working through his thoughts. It was settling now, the idea of it all, odd and foreign as it was. And it made sense, the more he thought about it. Why Loki was the one to stay up with Briana, why he was called home to look after her, why he could talk forever about her with such a loving look in his eye. He remembered the contraceptives, and he looked at Loki's bedside table and there was the case, open, with a glass of water next to it. His heart skipped a beat as he thought about the times they'd had sex, and how easy it would have been to just not use a condom... 

For a long time they sat there, Loki wrapped up in Thor, until so much time had passed there was a knock on the door and Loki's mother came in. She wasn't surprised at how upset Loki was, and just bent instead to kiss his forehead and murmur something Norwegian into his ear that made him smile weakly. Thor realized she had to have known just what Loki had been planning to tell him that morning, and he understood then just how close the two of them had to have been. 

For a moment he was worried she'd be angry at him, but she smiled instead, so genuinely that Thor couldn't help but smile back. 

“I'm going to call the school, Loki. I think you need to stay home today,” she said, and Loki _must_ have been feeling awful because he didn't even protest, just nodded his head. 

She left the room quietly. Loki sniffed, and sat up a little, but still couldn't look at Thor. He seemed a little calmer, though he still wiped at his eyes with the tissues. “I think she was worried you were going to run out of here once you found out,” he said quietly. 

Thor was shocked. “Why the hell would I do that?” 

Loki turned to look at him then, face open and almost resigned. “Because you wouldn't have been the first.” 

A mixture of feelings rushed through Thor right then, most which he couldn't name. He couldn't imagine just walking out on Loki when he had been so honest, no matter the circumstances, and it made him angry to think that anyone could even do that to him. He couldn't say anything, because he couldn't find the words. 

“Briana's father was the first,” Loki said flatly, a strange look on his face. “At first, he said he was happy, that everything would be ok - then, I guess, reality caught up, I started looking like I was pregnant, and he said he didn't want to spend his life changing diapers and cleaning up after a kid.” 

Thor felt sick. “And then?” 

“Then, a guy I had sort of known for a while, after Briana was born, she was only 3 weeks old... I told him, when he first asked me out, that I had a baby and he said he didn't care... then when I brought him home to meet her he just - he couldn't handle it.” He turned to face Thor, and was silent for a moment. “That's why I couldn't tell you. I couldn't bear the thought of you walking out like that..." He shook his head, as if the thought of it was still difficult. "You know, I didn't even want to meet anyone here." He chuckled bitterly. "I didn't want to go through all of that again. Then I saw you... I knew from the minute I saw you that I would fall in love with you. And I did. I wanted you so badly... and I thought, I thought maybe that if you didn't know she was mine, then you wouldn't leave me because of it... I didn't stop to think about it.” 

Thor was pretty sure he was going to need to be the one with the tissues soon. That wasn't something he was prone to doing very often. He was beginning to understand Loki's reasons for keeping him in the dark. Any annoyance he had felt had faded, leaving in its place a deep sadness that he hadn't been able to know Briana from the beginning as Loki's little girl. "I wouldn't have cared," Thor said, and meant it. 

"You can say that now," Loki said, with a rueful smile. 

Thor shrugged, then returned the smile. "Loki, I wanted to jump you so badly I wouldn't have cared if you had had a classroom full of kids." 

Loki snorted. "Oh Thor, you were always so eloquent," he said, and promptly had to wipe his eyes again, but Thor had a feeling they were tears borne of relief, not of regret or sadness. "God," Loki said, throwing the tissues in a bin with more force than was necessary. "I thought you were going to hate me." 

“Not gonna happen,” Thor said, and squeezed Loki until he squeaked and slapped him. 

They probably looked like a mess, the both of them, with red faces and stained cheeks and hair everywhere. Thor started laughing because it was all so ridiculous. 

“What are you laughing about?” Loki asked, looking bewildered. 

“Us. Loki, I bet we look awful.” 

Then Loki started to laugh too, because once tears are dried up the only other thing you can do is laugh, and though there was little jubilation in their laughter there was intense relief instead. 

Thor wiped his eyes and looked at Loki again, as if seeing him for the first time. Loki had had a baby... it almost made him a new person. But he wasn't – he was still the Loki Thor had fallen in love with, who'd consumed his nearly every daily thought for the last several weeks. Loki, who told him off for not doing his homework and had a strict curfew, Loki who read Homer and was smarter than anyone he knew. It was the same Loki, just with this whole other side that he hadn't been privileged to see until now. 

But with new knowledge, came questions. Thor settled against the headboard and Loki lay next to him, head tucked under his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around Loki, realizing that suddenly he felt so much lighter – the fear that what Loki had hidden was something malignant or terrible had gone. Instead, an entire new world had opened up for him. 

Thor idly stroked Loki's hair. “How does this work... this whole, you know, having babies thing. I know that it happens, right, to some men, not me, obviously, but why you?” 

Next to him, Loki shrugged. “They don't know. Some people are born with it, some people aren't. First they thought it was genetic, then they thought it was hereditary, but hey, I'm the first in my family that we know about. So they are still figuring that out. When I lived in Anchorage they made me go in every year for tests, but it wasn't cos there was something wrong – they were just trying to isolate whatever it is that makes me different from everyone else. Well, me and everyone else who has the same issue, anyway.” He paused for a moment, as if thinking. Thor didn't push him. 

“They think, that it happens because of a mutation in the ovum at conception. Your original cell, the one you come from, from your mother. You know why men why nipples?” he asked, staring up at Thor, who looked completely blank and just shrugged. It had never been a question that had felt necessary to ask before. “It's because all ovums develop as female until about 9 weeks gestation. Then, at some point, something else kicks in and the cell becomes a male, if the sperm carried the Y chromosome or it carries on developing as female if the sperm was X chromosome. That's why men have nipples. But with me – and everyone else like me – something gets confused. The cell starts developing incorrectly. It carries on developing female organs even when the sperm is Y chromosome. They haven't been able to figure out why. But I developed female internal organs as well as male external organs. I look male from the outside, but on the inside, I’m… not really, I suppose. It makes things... interesting, I guess.” 

Thor bit his lip. It wasn't like he'd never heard of a guy having babies before – it happened, everyone knew about it (and everybody knew someone who knew someone who it'd happened to, like their uncle’s brother’s hairdresser’s dog groomer or something) – but he'd never had to think about it, because he didn't know anyone with that sort of makeup. He felt like going home and Googling. There were one or two things he was curious about. 

“But you can give birth, right?” 

Loki nodded. “Sure. What's the point of being able to conceive and carry a baby naturally if you can't give birth to it? To not be able to would have killed us all off before they invented antiseptic and scalpels.” 

“And anaesthetic,” Thor said, wincing. 

“And that,” Loki said, with a smile. 

“Did it hurt?” Thor asked, wincing again. 

Loki gave him a withering look. “What the hell do you think?” he asked. 

“...Good point.” 

Loki chuckled, and sighed. “God, I can't believe this.” 

“Believe what?” 

“That you're just... I dunno, that you _haven't_ run away screaming. I lied to you, Thor, and you don't seem to care about it.” 

Thor squeezed Loki's shoulder. “I guess I can understand why you didn't tell me.” 

“You do?” 

“Yeah. I mean, it's not like I know exactly what you are going through... I never will. But I can understand, given everything that's happened, why you chose not to tell me. I'm ok with it.” 

“You're ridiculously brilliant.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes. But now I feel a bit stupid. I should have told you at the beginning,” Loki said, and sighed. 

“But you had your reasons for not doing that. Hey, in another universe, a different Thor could have told a different Loki to stuff it. You didn't know that that wasn't going to happen.” 

“You're getting metaphysical on me. This is a first.” 

“And probably the last.” 

“I figured.” Loki yawned, clearly exhausted after such an emotional morning. “Oh my god.” 

“Lie down,” Thor said, and kissed his forehead. “I just have to make a phone call, and then I'll be back.” 

“Who are you calling?” Loki asked sleepily. 

“My mom. I'll be quick.” 

“Are you going to tell her?” Loki asked, suddenly looking a whole lot more awake. 

Thor paused. “No, not right now. I won't tell her at all if you don't want me to.” 

Loki bit his lip. “It's ok. You can tell her. She'll find out soon enough anyway, I'm sure. Probably better coming from you.” 

“True. But still, not right now. I'll be back.” He kissed Loki again and crept out of the room, because Loki had already closed his eyes. He closed the door and slid down the wall to sit on the floor. 

His phone told him it was 8.17am. School started in less than 10 minutes. He wouldn't make it now even if he ran. He found his mother's number and called it, hoping like hell she was in an understanding mood. 

“Mom?” 

“Thor? What is it? Are you at school?” 

“No... mom, I can't go in today.” 

He heard her sigh at the other end of the phone. “And why not?” 

Thor banged his head against the wall. This was going to be fun to explain. “I'm at Loki's. That's why I got up early... he can't go in today and I want to stay with him.” 

“To do _what?”_ his mom asked, clearly annoyed. 

“Just be with him, mom. That's all. Look, I promise, I'll tell you better this evening. I just...” Loki's earlier words came back to him, and he suddenly understood better than he had before. “I'd prefer to tell you face to face.” 

“Thor, what's going on?” she asked, and her tone was no longer annoyed, just curious and a little anxious. 

“Something... mom, I swear, I'll tell you tonight. Could you please just phone the school and tell them I won't be going?” 

She sighed again. “Just this _once_. And I'm not very happy. I'll see you tonight, and we are having this talk.” 

“Yes mom,” Thor said obediently, not particularly looking forward to it. He had no idea what her reaction would be. 

“You do realise your father is home tomorrow morning, don't you?” his mom said suddenly, and he winced. 

“I forgot.” 

“Yes, I thought you did. Look, whatever is going on, this needs to be sorted today, before he gets home. Because this is just getting ridiculous.” 

“Yeah, I get it.” 

“Good. I'll see you tonight.” 

“Bye, Mom.” 

“Goodbye.” 

He cancelled the call, flipping his phone shut with a sigh. For a while, he just sat there, so many things going through his mind. Loki was a _mom,_ for Christ's sake. No matter what he'd said to Loki before, it was going to take a little while to get used to the idea. He pulled himself up and let himself in the room, closing the door behind him. He closed the blinds so the room was darker, and slid on the bed beside Loki, who was already asleep. 

And in less than 2 minutes, so was he.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! It's been over a month since I last posted on this. Ten billion apologies :(. Life and uni has been kicking my butt. I give you a 12,000 word chapter to hopefully help make up for it :). 
> 
> I had a crisis of confidence writing this chapter, so I hope it turned out ok. 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING: contains discussion of abortion.

The room was still dark when he woke a little later on, but the clock on the wall told him only 4 hours had past. Loki was still sleeping, his face finally calm and relaxed, and Thor just lay there for a little bit, watching him sleep. When his phone beeped again, he realised why he had woken up. He'd left his phone on Loki's desk, too far away to reach. Trying hard to be careful, he climbed out of bed but before he'd gotten far he heard Loki moving behind him.

He turned and saw Loki sitting up, yawning and rubbing his face. He stared up at Thor with sleepy and unfocused eyes. “What are you still doing here?” he asked, his voice hoarse and tired. 

“Got mom to let me have the day off. Now my stupid phone won't shut up.” 

“Oh,” Loki mumbled, and flopped back down on the bed. “Probably Tasha wondering where the hell we are.” 

Thor grabbed his phone and thumbed through the messages, all 5 of them. “Jesus,” he said, sitting back down on the bed with a thump. 

“What?” Loki asked drowsily. 

“You were right. Tasha just sent me 5 texts asking me why we aren't at school today.” 

Loki giggled into his pillow. “Tell her we ran away to get married.” 

Thor shrugged and grinned. “Better than nothing.” He wrote exactly that and sent it. 

“Wait... did you actually text her that?” Loki asked curiously, looking a little wider awake. 

“Yup,” Thor said happily, and bounced up and down on the bed. “Now I'm going to turn my phone off, and she's going to spend the rest of the day absolutely fucked off with me.” 

“Wow,” Loki said dryly. “She is going to hate you.” 

“Yeah. But she'll get over it.” Thor tossed his phone on Loki's bedside table and crawled over to him. Loki tried to bury himself under the blankets but Thor was too quick, and he yanked the comforter down to cover Loki's face in kisses. Loki was practically shrieking by the time he was finished, laughing too hard to put any sort of serious effort into his attempt to push Thor off. 

“Oh my god,” Loki gasped when Thor finished and collapsed next to him. “I feel like I've just had a facelift.” 

Thor smacked him gently on the stomach. “You don't need a facelift. Those are for forty year old women with self-esteem issues.” 

Loki snorted. “God that feels like years away.” 

“We'll be old.” 

“Yeah. Briana would be... 24. Holy cow.” 

Thor pulled his head out of the pillow. “Do you think about what she'll be like when she's older?” 

Loki turned over to face him. “Sometimes,” he said quietly. “But she's growing up so fast I'm scared that if I focus too much on the future I'll miss out on what's happening now.” He looked so sad that Thor stretched out a hand and gently stroked his cheek. “It's scary. All of it. I'm always worried about her – when I'm at school I'm always a little afraid just because I'm not there, even though my grandmother is always with her, and sometimes at night I wake up and have to check on her because I'm terrified something will happen to her when she's sleeping. Mom says it's natural and that she was like that when I was born, but that doesn't make the fear go away. You probably think it's stupid,” he said, almost bitterly, and laughed hollowly. 

“No,” Thor said, adamant. “I don't think it's stupid at all. She's your daughter. Of course you're going to be protective of her.” 

Loki smiled, but it was weak. “I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant. I just didn't know what to feel. It was so confusing.” 

Thor’s curiosity was piquing now. “How did you find out?” he asked quietly, running a hand up and down Loki's arm. 

“Mom took me to the doctor cos I couldn't stop throwing up. I think, looking back now, that maybe she already knew.” 

“At least she was with you when you found out.” 

“Yeah. All it was was a stupid pregnancy test. The doctor didn't even ask anything else, just told me to pee into a cup.” 

At that, Thor had to laugh. “That's not very romantic.” 

“Tell me about it. He even let me keep the test.” 

“He let you keep it?” 

“Yeah. I'll show you.” Loki climbed out of bed and switched on the light before going over to his bookshelf. He reached up and took down a large, cream-coloured photo album. “Everything's in here.” He sat down next to Thor and opened it. Out fell something wrapped in plastic, and Loki picked it up. “I promise you, I did wash it.” He took off the plastic and there it was, a tiny white stick, still with two red lines in the little window. “This changed my life,” Loki mused. “I didn't believe it was possible to hate something and love something at the same time, but I did with this.” 

“And all because it turned positive.” 

“Yep.” Loki stared at it for a little while, turning it over in his hands. “I nearly fainted. So did mom. The truth? I was so terrified I could hardly breathe. I was terrified because I didn't want a baby – I was way too young. I had so much to do, and it wasn't like any of my friends were having babies. I was terrified about what my father would say. I was terrified that something would happen to the baby. I was terrified because I knew my life would never be the same.” 

Thor swallowed. He'd let himself believe that he knew everything about Loki, but he didn't – there was so much that he might never be able to know it all. He felt a deep, inexplicable sadness that he hadn't been a part of this, that there was so much he'd missed out on, this entire life that Loki had spent with other people that were not him. 

And Loki was reliving some of it now, just for him. It sounded painful, like drawing from a wound, but Loki seemed stronger than he had been earlier that morning and there was a part of Thor that desperately needed to hear all of it. 

So Loki went on. “And it wasn't. The same, I mean. I remember... I remember, very vividly, driving home after the doctor's. Neither of us said anything. I think I was still in shock. I kept waiting for it to be over, for it all to go away, but it didn't. I went straight to bed when I got home but I couldn't sleep. And it didn't really get any better, you know? I mean, I got _used_ to it, I guess. I got used to the idea that nothing was going to be the same any more. Didn't mean I had to like it. 

“My mom... she was amazing. I think... I _know_ that that hadn't been what she or dad had wanted for me. But she made me get up every morning, made me eat, made me look after myself. And the whole time she kept saying, 'Whatever you want you do, we'll support you'. I had no idea what she meant by 'what I wanted to do' until I had to go to some appointment at the hospital. It was a nurse who just made me sit down and told me that I could kept the baby and raise it, carry the baby to term and then adopt it out, or I could have an abortion. An _abortion_. And god, Thor,” he choked. Thor gathered him up into a hug. “I hate this... I hate... I hate that when she said I could abort my first thought was that if I did, then my life would go back to normal. I felt _happy_. Then she was talking about how they couldn't do it after a certain point in the pregnancy so I would have to choose soon, and then I realized that I couldn't do it. She'd only been part of me for a couple of months, and I'd only known she'd even existed for two weeks, but she was part of _me_. I couldn't do it. I couldn't even see her but I knew she was there.” 

Loki was crying softly, and when he turned Thor could see the tears glistening on his cheeks. “I look at her now, and I love her so much, and I nearly killed her. I'm so glad... so fucking glad I couldn't do it.” 

“And you didn’t,” Thor reminded him gently, and kissed his forehead, stroking his back until his tears dried. Loki sighed heavily and leaned into Thor, murmuring something softly under his breath. 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Like I’d be anywhere else right now,” Thor said, and kissed him again. “Tell me more about her. I want to know.” 

Loki smiled, his lips still quivering just a little. “Ok. I can show you. This is her here, look,” he said, and turned the page. It was an ultrasound, and Thor couldn't make out a damn thing. “Right here,” Loki said, and pointed to a tiny mass. “That's her. That's the first time I saw her.” 

Thor looked closer. It didn't look anything like a baby to him. Loki noticed the confused look on his face. “Oh Thor, of course she looks a bit strange. She was 10 weeks old.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” Loki turned the page. There was a large photo of two teenage boys – one was Loki, the other was unfamiliar. He had short brown hair and dark eyes. They were sitting down, huddled next to each other. Thor felt a deep stab of jealousy as he saw how the other boy's arm was around Loki and they were laughing and looking at each other with unveiled affection. He didn't like it. 

“That's James,” Loki said, his face impassive. “He's Briana's father.” 

Thor felt like he'd been slapped. Something inside him roared and growled at the idea of someone else touching and loving his Loki, and though, rationally, he knew that Loki had been with someone else before him it still grated him to know he hadn't been the only one. 

“When did you tell him?” Thor asked, still trying to subdue his inner green eyed monster. 

Loki sighed. “A few days afterwards. I had to work up the courage. He just... he just kinda sat there and stared at me, like I was gonna say I was joking or something. Then he said he had to go and just... I dunno, I think he said something like 'it'll be ok' and then left. I think it was a lot for him, you know.” 

“He wasn't the one carrying it.” 

“I know. Made it easier for him to walk away in the end. At first, once he'd gotten over it, he said everything would be ok and he'd look after me... Never really happened. And I thought I was madly in love with him. We'd been together for just over a year." Loki pursed his lips and shook his head ruefully. “He was a douchebag. I should have seen it coming. When I started showing that was it really. Stopped texting, stopped calling. We'd still hang out with our friends, but he was uncomfortable. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was annoyed we couldn't have sex any more. The only reason we weren't having sex was because he never seemed to want it. Then one day we had all planned to meet at the mall. I got there a little early, and I saw James there, with someone else. He was kissing her.” 

The monster inside Thor rose again, sudden and brutal, and he felt so angry he wanted to put his fist through the wall. But Loki looked as though he was being torn apart all over again, having to relive it, and remember how his world had exploded in on him for the second time. Thor held his hand and squeezed it, but he knew that nothing he could do could help. 

“I left before they saw me. I stopped going out with everyone, I just sat in my room. I had completely convinced myself that I loved him, but I think now that was because I was desperate for this to be perfect – for us to be a family that loved each other. Maybe I was thinking that that would make up for the fact we were having a baby so young. So I was fucking wrecked. I cried for two days and wouldn't eat, until I felt so sick I couldn't move. Then I realised I was harming my baby and I stopped, but the pain didn't. My parents were furious. James came around one day, driven by guilt maybe, to see me. My dad was so angry at him James nearly started crying. Fuck, it was horrible, all of it was. 

“My dad... god he's put up with so much. I know I'm not exactly the son he had hoped for. This... it kinda makes it all worse. I know he was disappointed when he found out I was pregnant. My mom had to tell him, I couldn't. It was so awkward, neither of us knew what to do, what to say. Then after James had left that day, he came into my room – and I was bawling my eyes out, because I had just told James I never wanted to see him again – and he didn't say anything, just sat down on the bed with me and stayed with me until I felt better. That meant so, so much to me. After that, he was alright. He took on more work so that we had more money to buy stuff for Briana. He's proud of her and he loves her. It's more than I hoped for. In a way we are even closer than we were.” 

Loki turned the page. There was a photo of him, smiling proudly, a hand pulling up his shirt to reveal a slightly swollen belly. He chuckled. “That's the first photo of my bump. This was two weeks after my argument with James. At that point I had stopped being sad and started being angry – I had basically decided that he was a bastard and I was better off without him. I never wanted to see him again. Unfortunately, because we went to the same school, I kinda ended up seeing him quite often. 

“I stayed in school until my bump became too big. Everyone knew. Everyone knew I was pregnant, even the teachers and people I had never met. I don't even know how they found out and to be quite frankly honest, I don't care. A lot of my so-called friends turned into jerks who teased me and called me a slut. By the time I was about14 weeks I had about four friends left.” 

Thor's stomach twisted into ugly, gruesome knots. The thought of Loki being bullied and teased and left with so few people to call his friends was unbearable. He felt like going to Anchorage and punching every person he met. 

Over another page. There was a photo of Loki with four people, three guys and a girl, Loki's belly rounded under his shirt. “These friends. I miss them. I still email them and text them sometimes. They miss Briana, and me, but they know why we had to leave. That's Volstagg,” he said, pointing to an enormous boy with a portly stomach and twinkling eyes. “And Fandral,” who was blond, slim, and rather good looking. Hogun looked rather grim, and had his arms crossed, and Sif, the only girl, was pretty and smiling. Thor liked them at once. “You'd get on with them, I think,” Loki mused. “Your sort of people.” He looked wistfully at the photo for a few moments and Thor let him be, seeing in his eyes the pain of leaving behind a life that otherwise would have been a nice one. 

Loki sniffed and turned the page hurriedly. Here were two pages full of photographs – more of Loki's bump, some with his friends, one of him having an ultrasound – and on the next page the ultrasound was proudly displayed. 

“They made me go in every month for scans. That's more often than usual, but you can imagine why. The doctors thought I was fascinating, like I was some sort of rare deformed specimen or something,” Loki said bitterly. “They thought it was wonderful.” 

Thor slid an arm around his waist and squeezed. “But you _are_ wonderful.” 

Loki laughed hollowly. “They were more interested in my insides and Briana than they were about me. One day I lay there for two hours while it seemed like every doctor in the hospital got to have a look. It was horrible. My dad was so angry he threatened to lay a complaint with the hospital authority. After that they apologised and they stopped using me like an experiment.” 

“Jesus...” Thor breathed. “That's fucking awful.” 

“I know. Fuck!” Loki said suddenly. “It's not like I'm the only person in the world with this... this stupid disorder. It's common enough for them to think it's maybe some sort of deliberate genetic mutation. Maybe back from the days when humans had to fight to survive. I'm not the only one, so they didn't have to act as though I was.” 

“I'm sorry baby,” Thor murmured into Loki's ear, and kissed his cheek. 

Loki sighed, but seemed comforted, and closed his eyes and leaned back into Thor. “We had sex without a condom _once_. It was after we'd been to the movies and James didn't want to wait until we got home. We had sex in the back office of a place where Fandral was working. It wasn't even that good. We thought that because I was on the pill we'd be alright.” 

Thor rocked Loki back and forth, his arms wrapped around his waist. “Do you regret it?” he asked quietly. 

Loki didn't answer for a while. But when he did, it was decisive. “No. I just wish that, if we'd known we were making a baby, it would have been somewhere with a bit more class.” He laughed then, but it wasn't sad, and Thor joined in. 

“You could always tell her later that it was very romantic,” Thor suggested, pressing a kiss to the back of Loki's neck. 

Loki snorted. “James didn't know the meaning of the word 'romantic'. His idea of being nice to me was letting me choose which position to have sex in.” 

Thor couldn't hold it in – he laughed and laughed, and after a short while, Loki joined in, albeit reluctantly, until he was laughing just as hard as Thor. 

“He sounds like a real winner,” Thor remarked as he wiped tears from his eyes. 

“Yup,” Loki said dryly. “I heard he's with some chick now. Dunno if it's the same girl I saw him with, but I pity her all the same.” 

Thor rested his forehead against Loki's. “Forget about him,” he whispered. “He doesn't matter anymore. Let him do what he wants resting in the knowledge that you know he's a prick and karma will visit him one day.” 

Loki squeezed his eyes closed and giggled. “I can only wish I could be there to see it.” 

Thor smiled and kissed his cheek. “I'm sure your friends will let you know about it.” 

“They will,” Loki said. “They keep an eye on him.” He sighed. “I just... I wish that he cared about Briana, that's all. After everything, he's still her father.” 

“Has he ever seen her?” 

“Yeah,” Loki said quietly, his eyes dark and wistful, as if he was seeing the past. “Just after she was born, and I was still in the hospital. He came in one day. I think Fandral told him. He was so nervous. He held her for a little bit, but _jesus_ , I could tell he was terrified. He kissed me, once, and then got out of there as fast as he could. He came by when he heard we were moving. I think his mom made him. Asked for my new address so he could 'keep in touch'. Still haven't heard from him.” 

“Doesn't he have to pay child support?” Thor asked, stroking Loki's hair. 

“Yeah. But he doesn't. My dad doesn't think it's worth it trying to pursue that. We do ok. Briana gets everything she needs. It's not top of the line stuff, but it's not cheap stuff either.” Loki sighed quietly. “I wanted to get a job but my parents wouldn't let me. They want me to concentrate on school.” 

“And you have a baby to look after,” Thor pointed out. 

“I know. It's... hard. I feel guilty that my parents' money goes on her instead of on stuff they want. We had to cancel our trip to Norway this year because I was pregnant. Their lives changed just as much as mine.” 

There was nothing that Thor could say that could make that better. He held Loki close and kissed his forehead, and as if Loki pulled his strength from such soft touches he took a deep breath and turned the page in the album. 

There was a large photo of Loki, taken when he was turned to the side, so his protruding belly was prominent. “Mom told me we had to take these every week. She was totally adamant,” he said, and laughed. “I have more somewhere, but they didn't all fit in here. There are heaps of them.” 

Thor traced over the photo with a finger. Loki's belly was swollen, and it looked so foreign on him – because the only Loki that Thor knew was small and slim. He had a sudden, deep desire to run his hands over that bump, to feel the life growing inside. It was confusing, not just because he simply _couldn't_ , but also because such a thought had implications he just wasn't ready for. 

“You ok?” Loki asked, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. 

“Uh, yeah,” Thor said, and tried to smile, and found it wasn't hard when he looked at Loki. “I'm fine, really.” 

Loki nodded slowly and reached forward to kiss Thor's cheek. “Good.” He turned back to the album and turned the page. There were more photos of him, his belly growing ever larger. A few of the photos were of Loki and his mom, and she looked happy, her eyes shining. It made Thor smile. 

On the next page was a photo of Loki with his friends – Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif – and he looked hugely pregnant, his belly straining under the shirt he wore. “How far along were you then?” Thor asked, curious. He traced Loki's outline with his finger. 

“33 weeks. She came two weeks after that photo was taken.” 

Thor tried to do the maths in his head and failed. He settled for asking instead. “Is that full term?” 

“Not quite,” Loki said. “Full term is around 37 weeks or something, I'm not really sure. But she was old enough to be healthy.” He flicked forward a couple of pages in the album. “Here. This is the day I had to go to hospital.” 

There was a photo of Loki in a hospital gown, his black hair tied back from his face. He was laying on a hospital bed, an IV line attached to his arm, and a black belt tied around his stomach. He looked nervous and tired, one fist clenched around the blankets. 

Thor found that he just couldn't say anything. He stared at the photo, at this reality, and tried to block out the sounds of Loki screaming in his head. He didn't like the thought of this, of Loki in pain. 

It didn't help when Loki turned the page again and this time it was a photo of him in the late stages of labor, the bed now shortened, his legs held up. The way the photo was taken meant he couldn't see anything, but he could see Loki's face clearly – covered in sweat, his hair messy and stringy, face contorted with pain. 

“Was someone with you?” Thor asked, his voice sounding foreign to his ears, because he didn't like this, didn't like it at all... he could see the pain and it made him hurt. 

“Yeah, my mom, she took the photos,” Loki said quietly, and Thor felt his hand on his arm. “I can put this away if you want.” 

Thor thought for a moment about saying yes, about telling Loki how these pictures made something inside him shift. But when he opened his mouth, all he could say was “No”. 

Loki nodded slowly, and turned the page. The next photo was slightly blurry, as if it had been taken in a hurry. The photographer had been sitting right next to Loki, and Thor could see two hands grasped together on the blanket. But the photo had really been taken of a baby, just born, covered in white and red, and screaming, held up by a doctor in blue surgical gear. It was Briana, her first few seconds in the world, and Thor couldn't breathe. 

He felt Loki flop against him, his head in the hollow of his neck, and he wrapped an arm around him. They stared at the photo for a little while – Thor just amazed that _this_ was what Loki had done, had brought into the world. 

“Wow,” he said eventually, when he found his voice, and he felt Loki smile into his shoulder. 

“It was worth it,” Loki said, his voice muffled. “Worth all the pain. Worth everything.” 

Thor leaned over to kiss the top of Loki's head. “You're pretty amazing.” 

Loki giggled. “Thank you.” He reached out a hand and flipped the page. This time, Briana was clean and pink, wrapped in a plush yellow blanket. Loki was holding her to his bare chest, looking down at her with nothing short of an enraptured look on his face. Thor was pretty sure his heart had stopped to swoon with him. 

“That's the first time I got to hold her,” Loki said quietly. “She was so small.” 

“She's beautiful. So are you,” Thor said, and smiled, and though Loki looked for a moment as though Thor was having him on he quickly realised he wasn't. 

“Thank you,” he said softly, eyes shining, and Thor wondered how often he got to hear that. 

The next few pages were full of photos of Loki and Briana just after she was born. There was a photo of her being weighed, of Loki dressing her for the first time, of her sleeping. She was tiny, and gorgeous, and Thor thought that perhaps he was beginning to understand this utter devotion that Loki had to her. 

Then the photos changed, and were obviously of when Loki had been able to take her home. There were photos of Briana with Loki's mom and dad and his grandmother, and with Loki himself. She was a happy baby, always smiling. 

One of Thor's favourite photos was of Briana curled up on the floor next to a black and white cat, who was watching over her quite protectively. “Is that your cat?” he asked Loki. 

The smile faded from Loki's face. “Yeah. My parents bought him for me when we first moved to Anchorage because I had to leave my cat behind in Norway when we left. He was just a kitten back then. His name is Liten.” 

“'Liten'?” Thor asked. 

“It's Norwegian for 'small'. I was only 7,” he said, and smiled briefly. “We had to leave him behind when we left. After everything... having Briana, all the things we needed for her, moving here... there was just no money to bring him.” His face crumpled, as if he was about to cry. “I left him with Sif. She looks after him, but I miss him so much.” 

“Oh Loki, I'm so sorry....” Thor whispered, feeling the pain that Loki must have endured to leave him behind like that. Loki just nodded, his shoulders sagging, and Thor pulled him close for a quick hug. 

“He's such a cool cat,” Loki said, wistful. “He was so good around Briana.” As if it was too painful to keep remembering, he quickly flipped over the page. Photos of Loki and Briana with his friends filled both sides, their smiling faces bright and cheerful. Loki looked so happy with them and with Briana that Thor had to wonder where things had begun to go wrong. 

“Why did you move here? Was it really your dad's job?” Thor asked, remembering that Loki had told him his dad had had a transfer. 

Loki sighed heavily. “Yes and no. It was just... everyone knew about Briana, and James and me, and for a while it was pretty much all everyone could talk about. You would've thought nothing else ever happened there. I guess after Briana was born nothing was ever the same. My parents figured it was better for us to have a new start. My dad put in for a transfer and they sent us here.” 

Thor couldn't help but feel strange about this. On the one hand, he was upset that Loki's situation had effectively driven him away from most of his friends and made him feel alienated, and on the other, he was grateful that Loki had come _here_ \- because if he hadn't, they would never have met. He swallowed down his discordant feelings. 

“You didn't choose to come here?” he asked. 

Loki shook his head. “There's a strong possibility that they just got my dad to throw a dart at a map of America to determine where we were going. It could have been anywhere. But,” he said, turning to Thor and smiling, “I think we came to the right place.” 

“Me too,” Thor replied, and grinned. “I can't imagine not having you around.” 

“I just can't imagine not having you,” Loki said, utterly serious, and he leant up to kiss Thor. “Thank you, for everything you've done for me.” 

Thor, almost bewildered, shook his head. “I haven't done anything...” 

“Yes you have. You let me be friends with you and shared your friends with me. You sat with me so I didn't feel like a loser. You took me home when I wasn't feeling well. You knew how serious I was about schoolwork and you went around all my teachers and got work for me. You stuck by me even when I was holding things back, and you knew I wasn't telling you everything. You make me want to get up in the morning, and sometimes, I swear to god, you're the only reason I do. You made moving here from my home to a place I didn't know bearable. You make everything better,” Loki said, his eyes fierce, as if daring Thor to say no, that he didn't do any of that... 

But instead Thor couldn't really speak. No-one had ever said anything like that to him before. For a moment, he felt guilty, because he realised that many of his actions had occurred out of a deeply selfish want – to be near Loki, to spend as much time as possible with him, because just being with Loki made him feel good. Then he figured that that didn't matter, that what had had happened had happened, and Loki loved him for it. He couldn't ask for anything else. 

So instead he smiled – shakily, because he was still figuring out everything in his head and he couldn't do too much at once – and bent forwards to ask Loki for a kiss, and happily, for a little that was all they did. 

* 

Thor lay back against the pillows, Loki snuggled in his arms. A part of him felt completely exhausted, despite having done nothing physical of much consequence. It was a mental and emotional exhaustion that made his brain want to just shut down, to stop thinking of anything but the feel of Loki against him. But his mind couldn't stop working, as if it was overtired to the point where it just couldn't stop, and even as Loki closed his eyes and seemed to drift away he lay there thinking about everything that Loki had confessed to him that morning. 

With a hand he stroked Loki's soft hair, and felt him mumble with pleasure. Loki felt so _right_ just being there that he couldn't imagine letting him go. Even with everything – it was so much that he couldn't sum it up, couldn't condense it into just a few words. That Loki had even expected him to get up and walk away burned at him, because somehow he had made Loki think that he would. Perhaps it was just that after two others had done the same, Loki had expected no other decision. But he couldn't put into words _why_ that would have been so impossible for him, despite that he wished Loki knew how he felt about him. 

So all he could do was hold on, and press Loki close, and hope that through actions and touch he could convey what he couldn't say. Everything had changed, but everything had stayed the same, because nothing Loki could tell him would make him go away. He still found it overwhelming to think that Loki had a daughter, but now that he knew it, he could not separate the idea of Loki from the concept of _mother_. Loki was Briana's mother, Briana was Loki's daughter. That was now how the universe worked. 

“You're thinking,” Loki murmured into his chest. “Stop it before you hurt yourself.” 

Thor just laughed and tightened his arms around him. “I need time to process.” 

“That's what worries me.” Loki pulled himself up until he was staring down at Thor, his face soft and smiling. “It's a lot to take in.” 

“But I can do it,” Thor told him, and reached up to kiss the end of his nose. 

Loki squealed and smiled with pleasure. “Well, don't strain anything.” 

“I won't,” Thor said quietly. 

Then the little smile faded off Loki's face, and worry was rent into his features. “You aren't mad at me, are you?” he asked, the question wrought with fear. 

Thor shook his head. “No. Don't you remember, the first time you came to my house? We listened to Dream Theater. You told me there was something you couldn't tell me, and that you would when you were ready. You never held it back deliberately. You weren't cruel. You weren't ready for a long time, and today you were. I can't be angry at that.” 

From where he was laying, Thor could see tears gather in Loki's green eyes. They made his eyes shimmer, like he was looking into water. “Thank you,” Loki said softly, his voice quavering just a little, and Thor leaned up to kiss away the tears. 

“Don't worry,” Thor said, and sat up, making Loki tumble into his lap with a giggle. He wrapped his arms around Loki and rocked him, side to side. “I'll look after you. _And_ Briana.” 

“Really?” Loki asked, sounding breathless. 

Thor nodded. “She's yours. She's your baby. You two go together. I want to love her as much as I love you.” He swallowed hard, because what he really wanted to say, he just couldn’t seem to find the words for. He just hoped that Loki would understand. 

Loki just stared up at him for a moment, before finding the words to speak. “Do you mean it?” he asked, looking at Thor as if he expected him to change his mind. 

“Yes. Of course I do,” Thor said gently but firmly. He knew that he really had no idea what he was getting himself into, but god, right then, he didn’t care. 

Loki’s face collapsed into a smile that seemed to take over his whole body. He laughed, and turned away as to compose himself. “You know, that's the best thing anyone's ever said to me.” 

Thor was totally confused. “About what? What do you mean?” 

“Briana! You… I… You said… I didn't, I don’t want her growing up with… with just me,” Loki said, looking a little shy for a moment. 

_Oh._ He didn’t realize until that moment what he had said meant to Loki, and a burning warmth swept through him at the idea of it. Of course, saying it and doing it were two different things, but fuck, Thor was going to die trying just to make sure Loki always looked like that. 

* 

After Loki had smothered Thor with kisses and _thank you_ 's he tugged Thor out of bed with the promise of food. It was past 2pm and Thor had barely eaten that day, and his stomach felt like a giant black hole. The house was quiet, though as they came closer to the living room Thor could hear the muted sounds of a television with the volume right down. 

Loki's grandmother was doing a crossword on the couch, a daytime talk show on the television. Briana was lying in a bassinet, fast asleep, her tiny hands clenched up above her head. Loki made for her first, crouching down to kiss her softly on the forehead, trying hard not to disturb her. Thor watched quietly, smiling, this the first time that he had seen Loki with what he now knew was his daughter. Looking at them now, he wondered how the hell he'd missed it. 

“She had a bottle about half an hour ago and she's been asleep since then,” Loki's grandmother said, putting aside her crossword and standing up. She smiled at Thor, and not for the first time Thor was struck by how constantly welcoming this family was. 

“Thank you,” Loki said, still crouched down by Briana. “I'm sorry, I should have come out to feed her before.” 

“It's alright, _elskling_. She's happy.” She walked over to Loki as he stood and kissed him on his forehead. “I'll make you two some lunch.” 

Loki started to protest, saying that he could do it, but she smiled and shook her head and moved past him into the kitchen. Thor and Loki were left in the living room with Briana, who had hardly stirred. Loki bent back down beside her again, then looked up at Thor and smiled. “Come here,” he said softly. 

Thor walked over slowly, feeling almost slightly awkward, because for all his words, this was something else entirely. 

“I want you to meet her properly,” Loki said. Thor found himself crouching right next to Loki, so close they were pressed together, and this time, when he looked down at Briana, he could see that the shape of her eyes and the shape of her nose was just like Loki's, and the little hair she had was the same ebony color as his. 

“Hey Briana,” Thor whispered, still unsure of what to do and how to behave. He touched her gently, stroking her soft skin, terrified that his comparatively massive limbs would hurt her. Loki just smiled at him, eyes shining, and he looked so happy and so proud that Thor had to reach over and kiss him. “She's so beautiful,” Thor said quietly. “You did a great job.” 

Loki giggled, biting his lip as he tried to hide his delight, and Thor thought it was beautiful. Like daughter, like mother. “Thank you,” Loki said, and ducked his head as he blushed. Thor couldn't help but think it was adorable and kissed his face wherever he could reach. It only made Loki giggle harder, and so after a minute or so he was pressing against his chest and pressing a finger to his lip to make Thor stop. 

“Don't want her to wake up,” Loki whispered, and Thor decided not to point out that Loki had been the one giggling. He just nodded and pulled Loki up to sit on the couch next to her. Loki flopped over him, half-sprawled on his lap, and lay his head against his chest. 

“You ok?” Thor whispered, wrapping his arms around him. 

“Yeah,” Loki said, with a quiet sigh. “Tired. You're comfortable, don't move.” 

Thor laughed quietly. “I won't, I promise.” 

“Good,” Loki mumbled, and Thor didn't have to look at him to know he'd closed his eyes. Then everything was quiet, apart from Loki's occasional soft sighs. Briana stretched out in her bassinet, still deeply asleep, and Thor watched her, not out of paranoia but out of a type of fascination, because she was Loki's baby and all of this was still so new. 

Loki shifted in his arms and pressed his face against his neck, bringing him back to the present. Thor was pretty sure it wasn't meant to be like this – that they were too young to consider that what they had was of any sort of importance, that they were kids playing an adult's game. But it felt real, to them, and he guessed that that was what they had to cling on to. 

Thor lost himself in his thoughts, forgetting about the time and even where he was, lost in the realm of possibility and curiosity. There were still things he wanted to know, gaps where there should be stories, and he wished almost that he and Loki hadn't stopped talking. There was his own story as well, rather bland when compared to Loki's, but if he can know Loki's then it was only right that Loki knew his. He made a note to rectify the situation. 

It took him a moment to realise that someone was calling his name. It took even less time for Loki, despite the fact that he was asleep, for he opened his eyes, sat upright so quickly he nearly fell off Thor's lap, and said, “Waffles!” 

* 

Loki hadn’t been wrong. A pile of waffles sat on the table, hot and soft and delicious. Thor had had them before, both American and Norwegian style (his mother liked to make them occasionally) and the waffles on the plate are Norwegian through and through – the cardamom burst in his mouth and was wonderfully delicious, and thank god that Loki's grandmother must have been used to teenage boys because she made a stack a foot high, and between the two of them it was demolished within a quarter of an hour. 

Remembering his mother's constant exhortations to be polite, Thor washed up and Loki dried. By the time they'd finished and returned to the couch, he was feeling rather satiated and mellow. Loki collapsed into his lap and Thor clutched his hips, letting him lean back against him. 

He was quite prepared to just pass out. 

So he barely moved when Loki's grandmother came past with her handbag, and said that she might as well do some shopping if they were around to watch Briana. Loki slid off Thor's lap and gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek, and Thor managed a smile and a wave before she left. 

Loki flopped onto the couch next to him. 

“I think your grandmother poisoned me with her waffles,” Thor said, and groaned. 

Loki laughed and slapped his stomach. “You ate too much, didn't you?” 

“Don't know what you're talking about.” 

“You were stuffing them in.” 

“So were you.” 

“Not as much as you.” 

Thor poked out a tongue. “I'm bigger than you. Therefore, I have to eat more.” 

Loki scoffed. “Fatty.” 

It was too much for Thor. He cracked up. “ _Fatty?_ Seriously?” 

“Give me a couple of minutes to come up with a better insult.” 

“You have two seconds.” 

“That's not fair.” 

“Life's not fair, Loki. You know that.” 

“Are we arguing? Is this our first argument? Over waffles?” Loki asked, his face innocent and eyes wide. 

“I think waffles are a great topic for a first argument. Food of the gods.” 

“Yeah. The gods of over-eating.” 

“I'll recover. Eventually.” 

“Not without a whole lot of whinging, apparently.” 

“Meh, comes with the territory,” Thor said easily. “You wait until you meet my dad.” 

Loki looked up. “I've never met your dad, have I?” 

“Nah. He's away a lot. He's back from Norway tomorrow.” 

“What does he do? He's not a hitman, is he?” 

Thor opened his mouth as if to speak, and then shut it again. “I was going to say no, but I guess that I really don't know... he _could_ be a hitman. Cos he wouldn't exactly tell us, would he?” Thor asked seriously. Loki stared at him with his big green eyes and shook his head slowly. “He says he's a lawyer. Apparently.” 

“That could be a good cover for a hitman.” 

“Yeah, it could be...” Thor pondered. “I'm not sure how I feel about having a hitman as a father, though.” 

“Awkward family conversations about future careers.” 

“Yes. I guess I'll just have to pretend I didn't find out.” 

“Best course of action I think.” 

“Glad you agree.” 

Loki caved in and giggled so hard he had to shove his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't wake Briana. Thor laughed and watched him with no little affection. Loki was free with his emotions – something that Thor had sometimes struggled with himself – and in times like this when Loki was happy, it made him happy. 

“You look sappy,” Loki pointed out as his giggles subsided. “I don't like sappy.” 

Thor pouted. “You make me want to be sappy.” 

“I'm not sure whether or not I ought to be pleased,” Loki said, “and expect red roses on my desk in homeroom every morning.” 

“Hmmm,” Thor murmured, and pulled Loki over him until he was straddling his lap and leaning against his chest. “I think I would be broke after about the first week.” 

“That's not very romantic,” Loki whispered, his lips tracing Thor's cheek. 

“Best I can do,” Thor said quietly, and captured Loki's wandering lips with his own. He felt Loki's arms slide around his neck, his hands sliding through his hair. Loki's hips pushed into his, and made him lose his breath as he felt Loki grind into him slowly. 

“You keep doing that and I'll have no choice but to get romantic,” Thor pointed out through clenched teeth. 

Loki just gave him a wicked smile and did it again, but even slower if possible. The contact made Thor whine and throw back his head, because Loki knew _exactly_ what he was doing and how to do it... He felt his cock respond, and when Loki gasped he knew that he could feel it too. 

“Told you,” Thor hissed, as his blood rapidly went south. He gripped Loki's waist tightly and then ran a hand down over his ass, sliding it between his legs, and Loki cried out and bucked his hips as Thor pressed down. 

“Ffffucck,” Loki moaned, his breath coming in stutters, hips turning in a lazy circle as Thor rubbed him through his pants. Thor's lips sucked at his collarbone, eager to leave a mark, and Loki's body slowly sunk down onto Thor as he became boneless, body captured by pleasure. They rocked together, bodies moving in sync, chests heaving for air, panting and gasping. Thor could feel the heat rolling off Loki in waves, swamping the air between them with warmth, and his skin tingled and grew hot with every touch as Loki ran his hands over him. 

“More,” Loki gasped, and frantically pawed at Thor's belt. He pulled it open with clumsy fingers and nearly broke off the button as he fought to open Thor's jeans, and harshly he yanked the zip down. Thor's cock was full and heavy, and Loki's fingers felt cool against his heated flesh as they slid around him. Loki pulled him free and smashed his lips against Thor's as he roughly jerked him off, his body still rolling against him. 

“Mmmm wait, baby wait,” Thor panted, and found Loki's pants. Loki stilled for a moment and helped Thor pull them down, until his own cock was free and hard against Thor's hands. Then without hesitation his mouth was back on Thor's, tongue lapping at Thor's lips until they opened. It was more of a fight than like making love, different to every time before for them, but Thor's thought processes were in his dick rather than his brain, and all he could do was go with it, and slide his hands under Loki's boxers to cup his ass and pull him closer, until their cocks were rubbing together and every movement was ecstasy. 

Loki was almost thrashing against him, hips jerking uncontrollably, desperate whines echoing from his throat even as he kissed Thor with a frantic ferocity. Thor slid his hands down Loki's ass and fingered his entrance, feeling it clench beneath his skin, as if trying to suck him in. He pushed against the soft flesh and felt Loki yield, until he was buried to the first knuckle. Loki whined into his mouth and stopped, just for the barest moment, and tightened around him. 

“Oh _fuck_ Thor...” he panted, and pressed his face into Thor's shoulder. “More! Hurry up!” 

But Thor didn't, he pulled out instead, and Loki cried out with frustration. “Up,” Thor said, and half a second after Loki looked at him he had his fingers in Loki's mouth. Loki sucked hard, his tongue darting between Thor's fingers, and his green eyes, dark with lust, stared back at Thor with an intense glare. 

“Enough,” Thor said, and pulled his fingers free. Loki pulled himself up by pressing on Thor's shoulders, and rearranged his legs, so that this time when Thor slid his hands under his pants it was easier. 

“Both of them,” Loki whispered, his wet tongue licking at Thor's ear, and as he slid his fingers in without warning Loki grunted and tensed, before keening with utter desperation. 

Thor didn't hesitate. He jerked his fingers out and thrust them back in, as deep as he could, and Loki bucked, his hips snapping forward. “Fuck yes,” Loki panted, his eyes clenched shut and mouth open as he gasped for air. “Fuck _harder_ , please!” 

Thor obliged. He rammed his fingers in and out, seeking out Loki's prostate every time, making Loki jump and thrust against him, his voice broken and desperate in his ears. He could barely think through the haze of lust that clouded his mind, but breaking through was the thought of _minemineminemoremoremore_ , though Loki was chanting something similar in his ear so maybe it wasn’t him at all. 

Loki's hands were wrapped around both their cocks, glistening precum lining his palm to ease the way, pumping the hard flesh together and through his hands. Thor clenched one hand around his waist to keep him on top, through Loki was thrusting so hard against him he had to hold so tight he knew there'd be a bruise the next day. It was hard and frantic and rough, animalistic and desperate. 

“Fuck yes,” Loki hissed, his voice dark in Thor's ear. “Wish this was your cock.” 

“Next time,” Thor panted, tightening his hold on Loki's skin. “Next time. I'll fuck you so hard you'll feel it for a week.” 

Loki groaned, his mouth lax and open, eyes pressed shut. Thor watched him as Loki ground down on his fingers, trying to take them deeper every time, trying to make Thor give in. 

“Shit... harder, _fuck!_ More, please, god,” Loki demanded, eyes wide and blazing now. 

Thor didn't wait. He thrust another finger up inside Loki, and spread them, stretching Loki around him. Loki almost screamed, his desperate litany undecipherable, and Thor knew he was going to come when he felt Loki's muscles start to contract. 

“That's it baby, that's it... do it, fuck yourself.” Thor forced out the words, one by one, his lungs fighting for air, cock hard and aching. 

Loki gave in and wailed, his muscles clenching and unclenching and clenching around Thor, gripping his fingers so hard he couldn't move them. He came over his hands, hot white stickiness pouring down his skin, and Thor watched as Loki lost himself in his pleasure. He couldn't do anything – couldn't let go of his hold of Loki for fear he'd fall, couldn't release his fingers while Loki gripped him so tight. So he watched, burning inside, as Loki gasped and cried his way through his orgasm, his body tense and hard. 

Then Loki's eyes opened slowly, his breath returned to his lungs, and Thor was able to slip his hand free. He gripped Loki's waist and flipped him around and down until he was lying against the arm of the couch, his legs spread obscenely before Thor, come still white on the skin of his hands. Thor grabbed his cock and manoeuvred his way forward, until he was almost touching Loki, and fisted himself rapidly, his hand almost a blur. He looked down at Loki while he jerked himself off, eyes wandering over his body. Loki's eyes were dark, looking at him from under lowered eyelashes, one relaxed hand trailing fingers lazily over the skin of his thigh. 

“Come on babe,” Loki whispered. “I wanna watch you come.” 

It was enough for Thor to groan and release, letting his come splatter over Loki's cock. It rushed through him like a tidal wave, powerful and rough, leaving him breathless and aching. He collapsed forward, one hand clutching at the cushions beneath Loki in a desperate attempt to take his weight, while Loki's arms came up to press against his shoulders. He could feel Loki beneath him, so close he felt the rise and fall of his chest, and with a gasp he buried his head in Loki's neck. His hand stuttered on his cock, eking out what was left, until with one last bare thrust he finished and lay there, panting. 

“Shit,” Thor breathed, still pressed into Loki. He could feel a hand in his hair, another on his shoulder, stroking his skin. “I'm sorry.” 

“For what?” Loki asked quietly. 

“Squashing you to death. Being so rough.” 

Loki's giggle rang out through the room. “You are a bit heavy. But I liked the rough bit.” 

Thor pushed himself up until he was resting on his hands. “You did?” 

“Yeah,” Loki said with a smile, and bit his lip. “James never did anything like that with me. He always thought that I would break,” he said, and scowled. 

Thor laughed, because Loki scowling was the cutest thing he'd ever seen. It just made Loki scowl even more. “Stop it,” Loki demanded, and swiped at his face. 

“No. And you have come all over your hands.” 

“And your cheek,” Loki said petulantly. 

Thor sighed and sat up. “That’s gross,” he said, and screwed up his face. 

“You made me.” 

Thor looked around for tissues, but the only thing close to hand was a pack of baby wipes on the coffee table. He pulled out a handful and let them fall onto Loki’s chest one by one. 

“What, you’re not going to romantically wipe the glistening sheen from my skin?” Loki asked sarcastically, cleaning off one hand and throwing the wipe at Thor, who didn’t manage to duck in time. 

“The only thing that’s glistening is that white stuff…” Thor had to duck again before he could finish his sentence. 

“You carry on like this I’m going to insist on condoms all round,” Loki threatened, even wagging his finger. 

Thor looked up, his hair straggly and damp around his face, and poked out his tongue. “We’d run out of condoms.” 

“We can get more,” Loki said, and poked out his tongue. 

Thor just laughed as he grabbed a wipe and gently cleaned up his mess. Loki hissed at the contact on his cock, and then moaned softly as Thor lingered. “Uffphh, that feels good,” Loki whispered, looking down, and Thor impossibly felt his cock stir again. He slid a hand down Loki’s inner thigh, rubbing at the soft skin. Loki’s hips were undulating minutely, pushing him into Thor’s hand, and he tossed away the wipe before running his thumb over Loki’s soft hole. 

“Oh fuck,” Loki hissed through clenched teeth, and he snapped his hips forward, trying to get Thor to push inside. 

Thor couldn’t find the words to say how hot this was, how having Loki so pliant and desperate under his hands made his body burn with lust. He leaned forward inside and kissed the corner of Loki’s mouth, darting out his tongue to lick his lower lip, and Loki reared up below him, body hard against him and thighs shaking, hips rocking. 

“Inside,” Loki whispered. “Fuck me. I want you inside me.” 

Thor bit his lip and moaned, because holy hell just the thought was enough to make his hard cock twitch. “Be right back,” he said, his voice thick, and wrangled himself off of Loki and off the couch, but then his jeans were tangled around his knees and he nearly fell. 

Loki snorted with laughter, and Thor was about to tell him to shut up when Briana started to wail. 

“Oh shit,” Loki gasped, and then he was pulling his pants back up and was off the couch faster than Thor thought he could possibly go in that state. He could only watch as Loki bent over the bassinet, cooing, and the harsh reality of parenting made him sigh and tug his jeans back on. Maybe later then, if he was lucky. 

* 

Loki paced up and down the living room, Briana clutched against his chest. She was still sniffling, and Loki soothed her back, patting her gently. From where he sat on the couch, Thor could see her tiny fists wrapped in Loki’s shirt. 

“Shhhhh,” Loki whispered as she whimpered, and kissed her head. She gurgled and closed her eyes, finally exhausted, and Loki sighed with relief and sat down next to Thor. “Sometimes she goes on like this all night.” 

“No wonder you look like you haven’t slept sometimes.” 

“Yeah, that’s generally because I haven’t,” Loki mused, and leaned back against the couch. “Sometimes my grandmother stays up with her so I can sleep.” 

“Did she come to live with you to help look after her?” Thor asked, turning into Loki and wrapping an arm around the back of his head. 

“No,” Loki said, and shook his head. “She moved with us to Alaska after her husband – my grandfather – died. She said there was nothing left in Norway for her. So she looks after Briana during the day when I’m at school.” 

“That’s nice of her.” 

“Yeah. I dunno what I’d do without her. When I have to study she looks after Briana then too. And she does so much around the house, most of the cooking and everything. It’s not much of a retirement but she says she’d go crazy if she sat around knitting.” 

Thor laughed. “She’s really nice.” 

Loki nodded. “That’s _mormor_ for you.” 

Thor was puzzled for a moment, but his mother’s intermittent and sparse Norwegian lessons came back to him. “Your mother’s mother, then.” 

Loki cracked a smile, like Thor had just said his first word. “Yeah. You know more Norwegian than you let on.” 

Thor shrugged. “My parents speak Norwegian to each other, and my mother tries to teach me some every now and again, but I never really learned it properly.” 

“Maybe I could teach you,” Loki said quietly, still smiling, and between them Briana was making tiny noises, her fists still tangled in Loki’s shirt. 

“Sounds good,” Thor said, and leaned forward to kiss Loki softly. 

* 

Thor found the remote when he realised he’d been sitting on it, and Loki found reruns of NCIS. They’d both seen most of the episodes before, but it was still nice to just sit there, the afternoon drawing away in the soft light that fell through the bay window. Briana was asleep on Loki’s lap, and at some point Thor’s hand had shifted to cradle her head, and just stayed there. She fit in his palm, still so small to him, despite Loki’s protestations that she was even smaller when she was born. 

“She’s so small now,” he pointed out. “I know she’s 4 months old -” 

“Five, now,” Loki interjected. 

“Five, then. But is she small? Smaller than she should be, I mean.” 

“They weren’t worried at her last check-up. She’s on the lower end of the scale for her age, but she’s growing ok. She’ll get bigger,” Loki said, and grinned. “She grows out of clothes so fast she barely has time to wear some of them.” 

“Maybe you’re feeding her too much then,” Thor teased, and nipped at Loki’s ear with his teeth. 

Loki swatted him away. “If I _don’t_ feed her when she expects to be fed she screams the house down. I don’t have much of a choice.” 

“Naughty baby,” Thor mused, and slid his arm from around Loki’s neck so he could bend down and kiss Briana’s forehead. She squirmed a little under him, but didn’t wake, and he didn’t move back up, just stayed there and watched her sleep, because she really was beautiful. And she was _Loki’s_. 

When he sat back up, Loki was waiting for him, and carefully as he could he moved closer to snuggle up next to him, head on his shoulder. He ran a finger down Briana’s jumpsuit, marvelling at just how soft and delicate she was. 

“Do you want to hold her?” Loki asked, and then suddenly something in Thor froze up, because what if he dropped her? What if he hurt her? Really, he didn't know the first thing about babies. “It's ok,” Loki reassured, sensing his anxiousness. “I’ll stay with you.” 

Thor was torn. He wanted to hold her, badly, but he was terrified he would screw it up, and something would happen and Loki would hate him… but then Loki squeezed his arm and smiled at him and Thor realised would be ok. “S-sure,” he stuttered, sitting up, trying desperately to not look like he was on the verge of freaking out. 

Loki wrapped his hands around Briana gently and lifted her up, until she was cradled in his arms. “Here,” Loki said softly, and without even thinking Thor found his arms under Loki’s, taking her as carefully as he could. She stared up at him, this stranger, with her huge eyes, and she was so delicate and so small that for a moment Thor thought he couldn't possibly be trusted with her, she was too innocent, too tiny. 

“How can you even bear to let her go?” Thor asked, finally starting to understand all this child business. 

Loki smiled. “Sometimes I can't.” 

“God, she's so tiny...” 

“She’ll grow,” Loki reminded him, his smile wide and bright. 

“Jesus.” 

“And then she'll get older and older... It's kind of scary.” 

For the first time in his life, Thor understood the wistfulness that came over his mother sometimes, when she told him stories of things he'd done when he was younger, and pulled out his baby clothes and his baby pictures, the ones in which he could barely recognise himself, let alone all the people around him and the places he'd been. She always told him how big he'd gotten, and it always used to annoy him – now, he didn't think he could be annoyed at her for it again. 

And then something rushed over him, something terrifying, but at the same time holding a promise and a new future. It was the idea that perhaps, now, in a way, he was a father. Briana's real father hadn't cared about her, but this was her chance to have someone there who did care, who would look after her mother and hold their tiny family together. Jesus Christ, when he first laid eyes on Loki – not that long ago, really – he'd never expected _this_. He remembered now too, that Loki had been carrying Briana – who he'd mistaken for Loki's sister. What a beautiful mistake. 

For a while, they just sat there – Thor holding Briana, who had settled and was drifting back to sleep, and Loki, who reclined with his head on Thor's shoulders, watching her. Thor almost felt too scared to hand her back, in case she woke up and he'd disturbed her, or in case he dropped her. She was so fragile that he had to resist the urge to hold her tighter, because he didn't want to hurt her. Loki didn't seem worried though, which gave him reassurance. 

She snuggled into him and seemed quite happy, and so Loki was happy. The TV was still going, and Thor found himself drifting into a sort of haze where everything was comfortable and just right, and time didn’t matter, and he could have happily stayed there forever. 

It was broken by the sound of the key in the lock of the door, and Thor didn’t register it at first, and neither did Loki, until the door opened and Loki’s mother came in. She said a cheery hello to which both Thor and Loki managed to muster a reply and then went into the kitchen, but it wasn’t until Loki gasped quietly and began to gather up the used wet-wipes at great speed and hide them under a cushion that Thor even found himself operating at normal capacity. 

“What are you doing?” he hissed, half serious and half laughing, until Loki glared at him. 

“They’re gross and I don’t want my mom to know what we did on the sofa,” he pointed out in a whisper. 

Thor chuckled and shook his head, because he had a feeling that Loki’s mother was well past the idea of her son having sex. She came back into the living room, and Loki hopped up to give her a hug – Thor couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that with his own mom. Something like a touch of envy burned inside him. He guessed that he’d probably decided he was too old to do that one day, and that was that. 

“Hi Thor,” she said warmly, and for a split second Thor thought about giving her a hug too. But then she was bending down to coo over Briana, who seemed to be waking, squirming as she was in Thor’s arms. Thor let her take her gently, his arms almost heavy and foreign without Briana’s weight. Loki collapsed back into his side and Thor wrapped his arms around him instead, feeling a little empty now. 

Loki nuzzled into his neck and kissed him softly, and Thor smiled but had to turn to see what Loki was up to – his mother was just _right_ there – and Loki was grinning, his smile wide. 

“What?” Thor whispered, and then kissed the grin off his face. He knew Loki’s mother was watching them and could just about feel her roll her eyes. 

“Boys!” she said, but not angrily, and when Thor looked up she was smiling. “Can you stay for dinner, Thor?” she asked, rocking Briana from side to side. 

It took him a little by surprise, because he hadn’t expected Loki’s mother to take to him so quickly. Or at all, really. Wasn’t he horribly defiling her son every chance he had? Perhaps she was luring him into a false sense of security before the kill. 

But they were both looking at him, waiting for an answer, and Thor was about to say ‘yes’ (because even if she killed him, at least he’d be with Loki) when he remembered that his mother expected him home to have that ‘talk’. He could just about feel his face fall. “I would love to, but I promised my mother I’d be home tonight.” 

“That’s ok,” she said, not deterred at all. “Tomorrow night, then?” 

“Sure,” Thor replied, hoping like hell his own mother wouldn’t kill him tonight and he’d be alive to make it. “I’d love too, Mrs…” he trailed off, suddenly realising he had no idea what her name was or even what her last name was, because of course Loki’s surname came from his father. 

“Farbauti,” Loki’s mother - _Farbauti_ \- said, with a smile. “Just call me Farbauti.” 

“Farbauti,” Thor repeated, and nodded with a smile. Beside him, he could feel Loki trace cool fingers over the skin at his hip. 

“Come around whenever you like, we’ll be home all day. Now, you,” she said to Loki, “can have your daughter back, while I get started on dinner.” She handed Briana back to Loki, who took her carefully and snuggled her against his chest. She headed back to the kitchen, and Thor looked at the clock, because he hadn’t realised it was _that_ late. 

“I should get home soon,” he said reluctantly. He knew that the best way to keep on his mother’s good side was to do everything else right. 

“Ok,” Loki said quietly, almost a little unhappily, and Thor knew exactly how he felt. 

“I don’t _want_ to go,” he whispered, and kissed just below Loki’s ear. “I’ll see you again tomorrow, right?” 

“Right,” Loki said, with a soft smile that trembled just ever so slightly. Thor kissed the tremble away. 

“Text me,” he said, and then remembered, quite suddenly, the state of Loki’s cellphone that Loki had shown him not so long ago on this same sofa. “Did you get a new phone?” he asked, because of course Loki had been texting him last night. 

“Yes and no. Dad managed to get the sim card out of my old one and he lent me his old phone until I can get a new one. It works, at least, more than what I can say about the old one.” 

“Are you going to keep it out of car doors?” Thor asked dryly, earning himself a withering look. 

“No, I thought that would be the best place to keep it safe,” Loki said sarcastically, and poked his tongue out. “Fuck you, Thor.” 

“No, fuck _you,_ Loki,” Thor whispered in his ear. “I missed out on one today, I expect to make up for it tomorrow.” He could practically feel Loki shiver. 

“If you’re lucky,” Loki whispered back, with a smile that said, _of course you’ll damn well get one._. “Now, get home before you get in trouble.” 

“You ok?” Thor asked, knowing perfectly well that Loki would understand every single meaning that Thor meant with it. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ok,” Loki reassured him, and kissed him on his nose. “Don’t forget your bag.” 

_Shit._ “I’ll be back,” Thor said, and Loki just nodded knowingly. 

Thor slid off the couch and dashed back to Loki’s room, grabbing his phone and his bag before heading back to the living room. Loki hadn’t moved, was still rocking Briana on his lap, but she was awake now, all traces of sleep gone. 

“Bye, darling,” Thor said, and kissed Loki just once more, and bend down to whisper the same to Briana and kiss her too. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“You’d better,” Loki said forcefully, and pulled Thor down for the last kiss. “Now get out of here.” 

“As you wish.” He waved, then closed the door behind him, and began to trudge home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently 'elskling' means 'darling' in Norwegian. I say apparently, because I got this info from Google. 
> 
> 'Mormor' is apparently reference to a mother's mother in Norwegian. 
> 
> I used Farbauti as Loki's mother, as I'm basing this fic off the Marvel films, not the myths.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am, with another incredibly delayed chapter :( sorry folks. 
> 
> Alas, as much as I would like to, I can't make any promises as how often I can update, nor can I promise the next chapter will be up quicker. I think I did that last time, and well, I failed! *bad me*. I hate to make excuses but my university work comes first (last year of double major), well first equal with my horses who I need to tend to 2x a day. 
> 
> I'm not giving up on this fic, by any means - these guys LIVE in my head and one of the reasons I write is to get these stories out so they stop repeating! I am always coming up with new ideas and situations and I have so much I want to explore with these guys. This may just be a very slow 'fic-that-never-ends' :D. So expect more updates, just not very regularly :(. 
> 
> While I'm at it, THANK YOU everyone for not pestering and not leaving comments like 'update plzzzzzz' as there is nothing that kills my writing mood quicker than people demanding! So I really appreciate it, though I know it's probably tempting! :)

He didn’t bother to turn his phone on as he walked home. He knew Tasha would have sent 10 billion texts, each more vicious than the last, and that at some point she would have threatened and/or blackmailed the others into texting as well, just to piss him off, and he just didn’t have the energy to wipe half his inbox before his mother had finished interrogating him.

Her car was in the driveway, just as he knew it would have been, and he didn’t bother to linger under false pretences because he knew damn well his mother would have been watching out for him through the dining room window and there was no escape. With one last heavy sigh, he pulled his boots off and walked inside. 

The air in the kitchen was thick with the smell of roasting chicken – one of his favourite dishes – but even the promise of really damn good food didn’t dismiss the fact that his mother was sitting at the table, waiting for him. 

“I called you, but your phone was off,” she said, her voice almost too calm. If Thor hadn’t taken off his boots, he would have been quaking in them. 

“I didn’t realise,” he said, sitting down at the table slowly. “I turned it off because Tasha kept texting me.” 

He didn’t miss the smile that graced his mother’s lips for a moment. “That sounds like Tasha.” 

“Yeah. I’m a little afraid to turn it back on again.” 

“You’ll have to do it eventually.” 

“I know.” 

“What happened today?” she asked, launching straight into it, as was usually her wont. She didn’t like to beat around the bush, which Thor was alternately thankful for and despaired about, depending on the situation. 

He swallowed. “Loki asked me around this morning before to tell me something,” he said, deciding the truth would be less painful in the long run than attempting to deceive his mother. It never worked. 

“Tell you what?” 

A million different answers flew through his head. It wasn’t so much that he didn’t want to tell her – he _did_ want to, because she’d find out sooner rather than later, and he might as well get it over with, especially while his father wasn’t home – he just didn’t know _how_. “Ah… well… It’s…” He winced and closed his eyes, and thought about banging his head against the table top. “Uh…” 

“Thor.” He opened his eyes. His mother was smiling at him, her face open and relaxed, almost comforting. “It’s ok. Start from the beginning.” 

“From the beginning?” he repeated, floundering. 

“Yes,” she said patiently, and nodded. 

“From the beginning. I can do that.” He took a deep breath, and began. 

* 

By the time he had nearly reached the end, he was nursing a cup of hot chocolate and a cookie, his mother had ventured from the end of the table to sit beside him, and the chicken was nearly done. 

“So then this morning… he wanted to tell me about Briana,” he said, and thought about how it seemed now like it had been so long ago, when it had been less than a day. “He said… he said that Briana wasn’t his sister.” 

“She was his daughter,” his mother said, and left him gaping, because how the hell did she know? 

“You knew?” he asked, incredulous. She’d made him go through everything, and this whole time, she’d known? 

“Not before this, no,” she said, and pinched another cookie from the jar in the middle of the table. “But I had you. I know what it’s like to have children. I can’t imagine that Loki would have been so vested in the health and wellbeing of his sister when he was a 16 year old with a 16 year old boy’s interests.” 

“Well, I didn’t figure it out,” Thor mumbled, quite grumpily. 

“Oh darling. I don’t blame you. You had no reason to doubt what he said. Now, am I to assume that Loki is the baby’s mother, or the baby’s father?” 

Thor paused. He had barely even thought about that. The idea of Loki having sex with a woman was so foreign – given what he knew – that he hadn’t even entertained the idea that Loki had possibly been Briana’s _father_. That, and the knowledge that Loki took oral contraception, had only led him one way. “Briana’s mother.” 

“Mmm,” his mother murmured through a mouthful of cookie. “Should have guessed that one too.” 

“Why?” Thor pressed. 

“Can’t see him doing anything with a woman,” she mused, and Thor decided not to ask this time if she’d been reading his thoughts again. “So… _duas medietates_.” 

“What?” 

“ _Duas medietates_. It’s Latin for ‘two halves’. Way back, a long time ago, when the ancient Greeks were the height of civilization, they believed that men who could bear children were the descendants of a man who had defied Dionysus, the god of wine and fertility. They said that this man had refused to worship Dionysus, and Dionysus was so angry he split the man and his wife open, and bound them together as one. He wore the appearance of a man on the outside, but inside, he was his wife. This myth was taken up by the Romans, as so many were, and the Latin name for it was _duas medietates_. Two halves. Not the scientific name, mind you. That’s very long and difficult to say and I’m not going to attempt it.” 

Thor sat in silence as his mother stole another cookie. “Did they really get split in half?” 

“Oh Thor. What do you think?” she asked, raising a sculptured eyebrow. 

“I’m thinking… no.” 

“Correct. The ancient Greeks just liked to have origins for everything. They were impossibly advanced, for what they were, but they lacked the scientific innovations we have today. They relied on the Gods for their history.” 

“So… these people… _duas medietates_ … they have been around forever.” 

“Of course. It wasn’t like they suddenly sprouted out the ground one day. Genetic deformity, perhaps. Some things we’ll just never know.” 

“Deformity? That makes it sound like there’s something wrong with them,” Thor pointed out, feeling a little defensive. 

“Well, I guess not. If they were made that way, and we were made the way we were, then everything is the way it’s supposed to be.” 

“My head hurts.” 

“Stop thinking, Thor my darling. Let’s eat before I break you some more.” 

* 

Dinner was a quiet affair, partly because Thor found himself so hungry (despite the waffles) that he had three platefuls and partly because no-one seemed to know quite what to say. Their talk wasn’t over, not by a long shot, and Thor had a sinking feeling that his mother was using the time to gather evidence and corroborate statements. Or something. He was pretty sure his mother had been a detective in a previous life. Perhaps the female version of C. Auguste Dupin. 

“You don’t need to look so nervous,” his mother commented, and Thor choked on a piece of potato. 

“I know,” he said hurriedly, and inhaled the potato again. 

His mom just sighed and passed him a glass of water. “Are you finished yet?” 

He gulped the glass down without taking a breath. “Is there any left?” he asked hopefully. Anything to delay this. Anything at all. “Should I do the dishes?” 

“Thor, you haven’t willingly done the dishes since I bribed you with candy floss when you were 12.” 

“That’s not true,” he mumbled into his chicken. He got The Look in return, and conceded a point. “Ok, maybe that is true then.” 

“Thank you. And yes, you are on washing up duty. But they can wait for a little.” 

He considered sulking, but felt that it wasn’t going to be beneficial to his position at that particular point in time. He settled for pushing his plate away and sitting back on his chair, looking everywhere but at his mom. She didn’t say anything for a moment, clearly still putting her thoughts together, but Thor felt that he had something burning to say before she said anything. 

“It doesn’t change anything,” he blurted out. “Just because he has a baby, I mean. It doesn’t change anything.” 

She looked at him sharply. “That doesn’t mean _your_ life isn’t going to be affected by this.” 

“I know.” 

“You hardly know him,” she pointed out, but her voice wasn’t accusatory – it was almost sad, as if she knew better than him what all of this meant. And she probably did. “You’re still in school. You don’t know anything about children, least of all babies.” 

“I can learn,” he said defensively. He didn’t like people insinuating he couldn’t do things. Even if he actually couldn’t. 

“Learn how to be a father?” she asked abruptly. 

Thor’s mouth opened but nothing came out. Having his mother say it like that made it sound virtually impossible. Perhaps it was. He squeezed his eyes closed, only to have the image of Loki and Briana flash before him, and the thought of letting them down made his heart falter. “Yes,” he said stubbornly. “Anyway, doesn’t everyone have to learn? Didn’t dad have to learn when I was born?” he pointed out. 

“Yes,” his mother conceded. “But he was a lot older than you.” 

“So?” he retorted, quite conscious of the fact that he was sounding like he was 3 years old and not giving a damn. 

“So?” she repeated, as if she couldn’t believe him. “You are just a child yourself, Thor. You’re still in school. You should be playing football and pretending to do your homework, not fussing over babies and pretending to change diapers.” 

“Well sometimes things don’t happen the way we want them to,” he said stubbornly, his heart beating like a drum in his chest. He’d never spoken this way to his mother before, never openly defied her like this. It felt foreign and uncomfortable, like everything he knew and was familiar with was being rewritten and nothing would ever be the same again. He’d felt like that a lot lately. 

“I don’t want this for you,” she said. “You’re too young.” 

“Loki’s too young as well. And he needs someone with him. And not just his parents,” he said, before she could interrupt, as he knew she was about to do. “I want this.” 

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she said, a note of sadness in her voice. “Please, Thor, listen to me.” 

“I _am_ listening,” he said, frustration and desperation edging his words. “I know, mom. I know you want me to be normal and do normal things and be a normal kid. I _know_. But please, listen to _me_ ,” he pleaded. “I just want to try.” 

The look on her face – the sadness, the frustration, the _fear_ \- made him feel almost physically sick. He hated this, hated arguing with his mother – he loved her so much it hurt to make her feel this way. But he loved Loki too, and he’d made a promise. For once, he wished that life wasn’t so fucking complicated. 

“And what happens if you fail?” she whispered. 

Thor closed his eyes. “What do you mean?” he asked stiffly, a million things flashing through his mind. 

She shook her head. “You hardly know Loki. How do you know that in a month you won’t want to move on? What if something happens to Briana? Are you expected to help look after her at the expense of your schoolwork, or pay for things for her? Do you realize that if you dedicate yourself to this 100%, that this isn’t going to be something you can just turn yourself away from if you don’t feel like doing it anymore? This is going to be something to dedicate yourself to for the rest of your life.” 

Thor felt something wet on his cheek. He was startled for a moment, until he realized he was crying, and he hadn’t shown such weakness in front of his mother for so long it felt foreign. He opened his eyes, feeling a river of tears leak down his cheek, and refused to look at her. “I know you don’t believe me. I wish you did. I wish more than anything you did. I know you don’t think I can do it. But I haven’t felt like this for anything – for anybody – ever. You always told me that I would regret the things I didn’t do more than the things I did. Well, this is something I want to try. I _need_ to try. And I know it sounds stupid,” he finished, hardly able to believe what he was saying. 

She sat there for a long time, staring at her hands, and Thor didn’t bother to wipe the tears from his face. He had a horrible, dense feeling in his chest that perhaps he had hurt her, badly, and though he wanted to stand his ground, his normally unceasing loyalty to her made him feel like scum. 

“I’m sorry, mom,” he said eventually. 

“I know,” she said quietly, and sighed heavily. “I think we’ve reached an impasse.” 

“A what?” 

“An impasse… where neither of us can agree.” 

Thor bit his lip. He wasn’t leaving the room until he had the freedom to do what he wanted – stay with Loki. He kept his mouth closed though. There was such a thing as too much talking back when it came to his mom. He was pretty sure he was too old to be looked in his room for a week but he wouldn’t put it past her. 

“You’re not going to back down, are you?” she asked, looking so much older than Thor knew her to be. 

“No,” he said, quite aware that he was utterly terrified, because there was no going back and he _knew_ he had the capacity to completely and totally fuck everything up. 

“You’re serious about this then?” she said after a moment, her eyes no less sharp. 

“Yes.” 

“You know what this means.” 

“I know what it means.” 

She was silent for a while, the kitchen suddenly deathly quiet. Thor felt afraid to move, as if by doing so he would shatter whatever this was and the dam would break, and his mother would tell him he was being ridiculous and to give up this game, because Loki and Briana would tie him down and he’d never be able to do anything and his life would somehow get sucked into a giant black hole and he’d grow old and die without stepping outside of his house again… 

He had a headache. 

He closed his eyes and resisted the urge to bang his head against the table in a vain attempt to make it go away. It didn’t work anyway. He’d tried before. But before he could do anything rash, he felt the cool touch of his mother’s hand on his forehead. 

“If this is what you want,” she said, her voice quiet and sure. 

He swallowed hard. “This is what I want,” he said, without opening his eyes. 

He heard his mother sigh. “I can’t tell you what this is going to mean for you. For either of you. But I can’t stop you.” 

“Do you think I’m being stupid?” he couldn’t help but ask. 

He felt her drop her hand. “No,” she said after a moment. “Naïve, perhaps, but it’s our experiences that shape what we know. We can never know entirely what something means or entails until we have done it.” 

“I want to try,” he repeated. 

She laughed suddenly, though it wasn’t as carefree as it usually was. “That’s my boy,” she said. “I would expect no less from you.” 

He looked up at her, almost afraid that what he would see would be different to what he had heard – reluctance, perhaps, in her eyes, or fear in the lines around her mouth. But her eyes were open and clear, her mouth still tilted in a bare hint of a smile. He did something then he hadn’t done for a long time. He reached over to hug her, his arms reaching around her much further than he remembered. 

She felt much the same as he remembered, if a little smaller, until he realized that of course he’d grown. It really had been too long. She gave a little gasp, as if surprised, but hugged him back, her arms as comforting as they had been when he was just a little boy. There was a soft kiss to his cheek as he pulled away, just a delicate touch. 

“You’re growing far too fast,” his mother said, her voice sad but her eyes smiling, and once again Thor was reminded of Briana. He felt full suddenly, of things that he couldn’t describe – a desire, a _need_ to be with Loki again, and with Briana, just like they had been that afternoon, and a longing for his childhood and his family, and it was bubbling over and mixing, as if the only way to relieve the feeling was to have them all at once. Maybe the lines were blurring, maybe everything was coming together, maybe things were falling apart. He wasn’t quite sure. He wasn’t sure of anything anymore. 

He watched, rather numbly, as his mother cleared the dishes from the table as if everything was back to normal. She wiped her hands on the dishcloth and turned around. “So, when are you inviting him around for dinner so I can meet him properly?” 

* 

Thor did the dishes, like he promised, and found them as tedious as he remembered. He left them to dry and ran upstairs, pulling his phone out of his pocket and tossing it on the bed. He thumped down next to it, torn between turning it on (to see if Loki had text him) and leaving it off (to avoid Tasha’s Inquisition). In the end the hope that Loki had sent him something won out over the fear of being inundated with Tasha’s questions. 

He switched it on and left it for a moment, watching as it jingled and vibrated on the comforter, letting him know just how many people were pissed off with him (and hopefully one who wasn’t). He groaned and picked it up. There were 16 text messages from Tasha – he flicked straight to the last and was greeted with a threat to cut his balls off with a rusty knife and fly them off the school’s flag pole. He deleted the others. Clint had sent him 5 (the last one read “ _Fucks sake jst fckng txt hr shes drvng me fckng nuts_ ” – he’d always had such a way with words), Steve 4 (all along the lines of “ _Are you alright? Do you need me to bring you anything?_ ”) and 7 from Tony, all of which read along the lines of “ _Did you get lucky? Are you getting lucky right now? Fucking bastard_ ”. In amongst the jumble of messages was one from Bruce, asking if Thor wanted to borrow his science notes. He didn’t take science, but it was a nice thought. 

Loki had sent him one about 15 minutes before. He saved it for last, needing something to look forward to. He dealt with Tasha first. 

“ _Sorry about 2day. Loki & I needed 2 talk. Cant tell u yet but I will I promise._” He hoped to god that would be enough to shut her up for the rest of the night. Alas, somehow he doubted it. 

He texted Steve back next. “ _Its allgud, thank u tho :) be back @ school Mon._ ” 

He didn’t bother with niceties for Tony. “ _Fuck u. Not telling :P_ ” 

He had no idea what to text Bruce, and figured he had probably forgotten by now that he’d even texted, and would just end up confused by anything Thor sent him. With a warm, low tingling in his stomach he opened up Loki’s text message. 

“ _Thanks for today :) I miss you. How did it go with your mom?_ ” 

Thor felt everything chaotic and upset in his head quiet down and stop, felt the tension in his bones seep away. He settled back down on the bed, everything comfortable, and started texting. “ _I miss u 2 :) told mom. Shes ok. Wants u 2 cum 4 dinner :)_ ” 

He didn’t have long to wait for a reply. “ _I can cum for something else too ;)_ ” was Loki’s first text, and Thor was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to stain his comforter again. The next one was more sedate. “ _Sorry that was bad of me :P I want to meet your mom. She sounds nice. Next week?_ ” 

“ _Anytime :) but dinner @ urs 1st. Mom said I can go tomoro. Want 2 see u again :)_ ”. Thor wasn’t sure when he had turned into a 13 year old girl, but the transformation had been barely noticeable. Such sentimentality was very unbecoming. Just as long as it stayed where no-one could see it, he was ok with it. 

“ _Want to see you too :) you can stay the night if your mom lets you._ ” 

Oh, Thor wanted to. He wanted to fall asleep with Loki and wake up with him right there, to do what he wanted with him when he could – kiss him, touch him, rip his clothes off and do very very naughty things – but a part of him knew his mother would probably not be pleased. He wondered then too, at how casual Loki was about asking him to stay overnight – _his_ parents clearly didn’t mind. Perhaps they figured the worst had already happened. 

“ _I want 2 :). Will ask mom but she’ll prob say no :(_ ” He hit send and rolled over, facing the ceiling. It was dark out and everything was quiet, and he felt a little like falling asleep right then and there, if it weren’t for the phone clenched tightly in his fist that vibrated again. 

“ _One day ;) will just have to be quicker tomorrow, that’s all ;)_ ” Oh, Loki was naughty. Thor stifled a laugh with his hand and rolled onto his front to reply. 

“ _What r u saying? I can make it as long as u want ;)_ ” he sent back, giving up on trying to stop laughing. 

“ _I’m going to need scientific evidence of that ;)_ ” Loki replied. 

Thor’s jeans suddenly felt too tight. “ _I can give u as much evidence as u need ;) repeatedly._ ” _And wasn’t that true._ He sat up and found himself with a hand down his pants, stroking himself and wondering if Loki was doing the same. 

“ _I think I can handle that ;)_ ” Loki sent him. 

“ _Yeah? Are u sure? :P_ ” Thor pressed send with one hand around his cock. He figured he was thinking with it anyway. 

“ _Very ;)_ ” Loki sent quickly. He sent another before Thor could even begin to think about a reply. “ _Fuck, why arent u here?_ ” 

Thor pressed a laugh into his pillow. He should have guessed that Loki’s need to send grammatically perfect texts would be corrupted the hotter he got. 

“ _Why, need me 4 something?_ ” he asked, quite happy to tease the hell out of Loki for once. 

“ _What do u think!!!_ ” 

“ _Help w/ homework._ ” He wanted to do this. He really did. He wanted to push Loki to the brink and see what happened. It just so happened his cock didn’t seem to agree. He chucked his phone down on the bed and moaned as he tightened his fingers, smears of pre-cum dripping down the shaft. He remembered what had happened earlier that day – he and Loki, on the couch, desperate, and then not being able to do it properly afterwards. No wonder they were trying again, albeit from separate houses. 

His phone beeped again. “ _Fuck u, Odinson!_ ” 

“ _no, fuck u, babe ;)_ ” he scrawled back. And _fuck_ , did he ever want to… He buried his head in his pillow to muffle another moan, burning heat sparking up his spine. He fisted himself slowly, trying hard to make it last, trying hard to keep this going and suppress the need to run half-naked to Loki’s and jump in bed with him. 

“ _I want u to_ ” Loki replied, and Thor bit his lip so hard he was surprised it didn’t break through. 

“ _so do I_ ” he sent quickly. Then, casting everything aside: “ _what r u doin instead??_ ” He couldn’t get Loki out of his head. He wanted him there so badly he could hardly stand it. 

“ _what do u think_ ” Loki sent him back, and Thor groaned with frustration. He needed _more_ , dammit. Before he could think of anything sufficiently caustic to send back, his phone beeped again. 

With shaking hands he picked up his phone and opened it. There was a row of text, from Loki – “ _remember how I told u I needed a towel…. ;)_ ” and then a photo, one that made Thor’s stomach clench and his cock twitch in his fist. Loki had taken a close up, not just of his hard cock but of his hole as well, wet, stretched around a toy that wasn’t quite as wide as Thor’s cock but not far off. 

_“Fuck,”_ he muttered, just about losing his ability to breathe. “Jesus Christ.” He was so close to coming he had to force himself to stop. 

“ _Ur drivin me crazy!_ ” he texted. 

“ _U like then???? ;)_ ” 

“ _Yes I like!! Fuck. I want u so bad._ ” 

“ _how do u want me??_ ” 

_Oh sweet Jesus_. Thor could barely compose himself to text back. “ _anywy u wnt. Hard. Wudnt stop._ ” 

Loki didn’t reply for a few minutes, which let Thor’s imagination explode – he could just about see Loki fucking himself, spread out before him. He could just about hear the little sounds that Loki always made right before he came, and feel the trembling under his skin. He closed his eyes, letting the show play in his mind’s eye, let himself pretend the hand on his cock was Loki’s. The muscles in his thighs were trembling, his balls were heavy and tight, his hand slippery, and his whole body was thrumming, like something outside of himself was controlling all of this… 

His phone vibrated again and almost reluctantly he let his eyes open and his other hand wander to pick it up. He made himself stop jerking off, hissing as he let go, and he felt his cock hit his belly. With shaking fingers he unlocked his phone and pulled it up to his eyes to see. 

“ _Not ever?? Want u inside me, this isnt enough…_ ” 

Yes. Yes. Thor could get with that. He groaned out loud just thinking about it, and clasped a hand out over his mouth in horror when he realized just how loud he had been. He lay still for a moment, just waiting for his mother to make a smart-ass comment from the other side of the door, or for the floor boards to creak as she moved away. But there was nothing – the house seemed silent, though he knew perfectly well his mother was probably knitting in front of the TV like she did every night when his father wasn’t home. That was far enough away to not worry, so he let his hand slip away. 

He re-read Loki’s text again and felt his cock practically jump at the implications. He scrolled back up to the picture again, pissed off that his phone wasn’t bigger to be able to truly appreciate such a picture. Loki’s thighs were dripping with a mix of lube, precum and sweat, and he could see why he did indeed need a towel. Thor suddenly wanted nothing more than to be able to reach into that picture and thrust that damn toy in and out of Loki. He suspected Loki was perhaps feeling the same way. 

“ _I wanna fuck u so bad. stretch u even more, make u scream_ ”. He sent it before he could chicken out, because he’d never been this open to someone else before, not through such a medium, not even to their face. There’d been guys before Loki, but no-one quite like him. Loki made him want to do things he’d never done with anyone else before, made him want to open himself up to see what was there, what he could do and what he was capable off. It was fucking terrifying. 

He pressed himself into his pillow, ignoring the ache between his legs, fist clutched tightly around his phone. He wanted to be able to reach out and touch Loki, to have him turn over and face him and smile, to be there to be kissed, and stroked, and loved. He missed him so badly his entire body strained with it. If he closed his eyes he could just about believe that Loki was right there. 

But right now his only tangible connection to him was his phone, and before he could lapse into melancholy Loki texted back. 

“ _Fuck yes. God I want u. Not much longer…_ ” Thor knew exactly what he meant by ‘not much longer’. He appeared to be having the same problem. He ran his hand back down his cock and fisted himself slowly, body shaking with the effort of holding back. For a brief second an image of Loki fucking himself flashed in his mind and he had to groan into his pillow. 

Reluctantly he pulled himself away again. “ _then do it and then show me ;) want 2 c_ ” he tapped out quickly before throwing himself back into the pillow. He kept his hands up by his head as he imagined Loki reading the text, and then letting himself go, making those little noises that Thor loved so much as his muscles spasmed and his body shook. On second thoughts, he wasn’t sure if he _was_ going to be able to hold out. He groaned again and didn’t bother to muffle it with the pillow. 

After a couple of agonizing, torturous moments his phone vibrated again. He scrambled for it and nearly knocked it off the bed before he got a good grip on it. This time it was just a picture. He opened it up and nearly died. It was taken from the same angle as before, showing Loki’s legs spread wide open. He could see Loki’s come splattered on his thighs and the bottom of his shirt, his entrance stretched and empty and slick. 

Two jerks and he came, throwing a hand over his mouth in a poor attempt to hide his strained groan. It took a few moments for him to recover enough to pick up his phone again, his hands shaking. It took him even longer to scrawl out a text message with trembling fingers. 

“ _Ur beautiful. Miss you. U make me crazy._ ” 

Barely a second after he sent it, he tapped out another one. “ _and u just made me ruin my shirt :O ;)_ ”. He pulled it off and bundled it up before throwing it in the general direction of his laundry basket. Feeling too lazy-limbed to find another one, he thunked back down on the bed and thought about Loki again. It was quite pleasant. 

“ _Crazy good or crazy bad??? ;) and what, no pix?? :P_ ” Loki replied. Thor just stared at his phone. Loki had sent him pictures, but he hadn’t even _thought_ of doing it himself. He glanced down. A bit late now. He winced. 

“ _whoops >. ” he sent back. _

Loki took a while to reply. Thor guessed he was cleaning himself up and let him be, nearly falling asleep in the process. He was startled awake by the buzz of the phone in his hand. 

“ _I like crazy good :) I liked that… can we do it again?? ;)_ ” 

Thor chuckled. He didn’t mind doing that again, at all. “ _I think we could make that happen ;)_ ” 

“ _I’d like that :) and other things ;). Can’t wait to see you again tomorrow._ ” 

“ _Me 2 :). U sleepy?? _”__

“ _How can you tell :P. Briana’ll be hungry soon though. Keep me awake?? :)_ ” 

Thor could do that. 

* 

It was nearly 12am by the time Briana had woken and was crying for a midnight snack. Loki signed off his text with a kiss and left Thor torn between desire for a second round, curiosity, a sudden longing to hold Briana again, and sleep. He settled for lying there, his eyes wide open while his body slowly shut down. 

He’d nearly given in entirely when his phone went off again. Thinking it was Loki, he opened the text with a smile. Then he realized it was Tasha. Before he could break himself out of his sudden terrified state, his phone went off again. And again. And again. 

“ _I still haven’t forgiven you, you know._ ” 

“ _I shall have my revenge._ ” 

“ _When you least expect it._ ” 

“ _Sleep with one eye open._ ” 

He was in deep shit. He groaned and smacked his forehead with a closed fist. He was pretty sure he was going to die. 

“ _Uhhhh… sorry? :)_ ” was the most eloquent thing he could come up with at that time of night. He hoped it would be acceptable. 

“ _You are partially forgiven. You owe me a burger for the rest._ ” 

He breathed a sigh of relief. Though he knew Tasha wasn’t really serious about the whole chopping-off-his-balls-thing, she _could_ hold a grudge in a deadly, I’m-from-Russia-don’t-mess-with-me-bitch sort of way. Many people had learned the hard way. Thor was one of them. It was normally something he loved about her. Until he was on the wrong end of it, that was. 

“ _burger sounds good :) Cant do tomoro but let me know when._ ” 

“ _I will accept Sunday as an alternative. Pick me up at 12. And no later._ ” 

He resisted the urge to type out “yes ma’am”. He did that once and decided it wasn’t worth doing twice. Thor settled for a softly-softly approach instead. 

“ _Sounds good :) good nite!_ ” 

He didn’t hear back after that, which was either good or bad. He figured he’d find out on Sunday. 

After a quick visit to the bathroom, he settled back in bed, the thought of sleep overwhelmingly tempting. It’d been one hell of a day, to put it mildly, and he still wasn’t sure what to make of it all. He hoped it’d all sort itself out in his head overnight, ignoring the little voice that told him there was no way in fuck it’d happen. Wishful thinking and all. 

Comfortably satiated, he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to drift him away. He could sense it, could feel it settling over him, when his long-suffering phone beeped again and startled him fully awake. For a moment dread sat in his stomach as he figured it was probably Tasha, trying to scare him into a nightmare or something. It wasn’t worth it to not answer. He sighed and picked it up. 

It wasn’t Tasha. It was a picture from Loki, something that just suddenly made everything alright again. It showed Briana snuggled up to Loki’s chest, sleeping softly, and he had added “ _sleep well <3_ ”. Thor smiled, and figured sleep was going to be good indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made up all that Latin and Greek bull. I took classics at high school and university but never Latin, so if it's a terrible (or completely wrong) interpretation I do apologise! If anyone has a better or more correct suggestion please don't hesitate to comment. I used Dionysus as he is a particular favourite of mine, no other reason. 
> 
> C. Auguste Dupin belongs to Edgar Allen Poe.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for understanding that I can't post too often! It grates me that I can't so thank you for not getting shitty with me haha. I have exams coming up so will write when I can (ie when I am procrastinating... :O).
> 
> This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer... I decided to post it now because I felt the entire thing would run to 12,000+ words if I didn't divide it. Plus you get an update earlier! :) So the next chapter will be like the second half of this chapter.

Thor slept stupidly well. He awoke to a pounding on his door from his mother, who insisted, through the wood, that she’d been trying to wake him up for half an hour and if he didn’t get out of bed, she was going to spend his inheritance at Laura Ashley and bring him home some very flowery bedsheets. He groaned into his pillow and fought the desire to lie there for just a little longer. His bed was very warm and really comfy and if he just shifted a little to the right everything would be perfect…

He fell out of bed, literally, and landed on three piles of comic books which held him up remarkably well. The sudden ache in his lower back from a Deadpool comic sticking into it prompted him to get up at last, still stiff enough from his sleep that he felt – and probably looked – like Frankenstein’s monster. He growled for extra effect. 

By the time he managed to stumble downstairs, reasonably dressed and with his long hair tied up so it looked somewhat tidy, his mother was tapping her feet on the floor impatiently and her eye was twitching rather alarmingly. She shoved a pop-tart in his mouth to shut him up and ushered him outside and into the car. 

He sat obediently in the front passenger seat and pretended to be awake, rather than appalled at the time he’d been forced to get up at. He figured he ought to have been used to it by now, but it was a _Saturday_ for Christ’s sakes. You weren’t supposed to be out of bed before lunchtime. 

It was at least an hour’s drive to the airport, and Thor fell asleep halfway there with part of his breakfast still in his mouth. After a rather pleasant dream involving river nymphs, Aphrodite and a half-naked Loki, he re-entered consciousness to the sound of ABBA. 

“Why are we listening to ABBA?” he shouted over the music, which was suspiciously loud. 

His mother reached over to turn it down before she spoke. “I had to drown out your snoring somehow.” 

“I do not snore,” Thor replied, scandalized. 

“Ever listened to yourself sleep?” she asked dryly, one eyebrow perched high. 

“…No.” 

“Exactly. Now wipe your mouth for goodness sakes, we’re almost there.” 

He sniffed and rubbed his mouth with his sleeve, leaving a stream of crumbs along one side. He surreptitiously wiped them off onto the floor and made sure his t-shirt didn’t have the same problem. 

“You’re vacuuming the car this week,” his mother said, having, of course, noticed. 

“You gave me the Pop-Tart!” 

“You’re the one who couldn’t eat it properly.” 

He couldn’t answer that one. 

“And Thor?” 

“Yeah?” 

She paused for a moment. “Maybe don’t tell your father about Loki just yet. He’s been away for a while. Give him time to get back into his routine.” 

“You mean you don’t think dad will approve,” Thor pointed out, his happy-go-lucky mood vanishing like smoke. 

She sighed. “I think he’ll just need time to get used to it.” 

“I’ve had boyfriends before. What’s so different?” 

“You _know_ what’s different, Thor. You might not be too worried about it but your father will be. You know what he’s like.” 

“I think the word you used last time was ‘traditional’,” Thor said, practically spitting out the word. 

She chuckled. “Traditional, yes. He loves you, you know. No matter what. And he tries, you know he does. I’m just not sure greeting him for the first time in 8 weeks with ‘I have a boyfriend and he has a baby’ is the way to go.” 

“Well I wasn’t planning on doing it quite like that,” Thor said. “I was thinking a placard, maybe. Or a t-shirt. He likes t-shirts.” 

She looked at him with no little affection. “Sometimes I wonder where you get your sense of humour from.” 

“Well it wasn’t dad,” he shot back, and they both laughed, though Thor’s was mixed with an intense relief that his mom wasn’t pissed off with him after last night’s debate. For the first time in a few days he felt at peace, as if everything was right with the world again. It wasn’t, of course, but it was as well as it could be. His dad was finally coming home, his mom knew about Loki, Loki was doing well and he _had a baby_ (apparently he was still getting used to that one) and he was getting to see them both today. Yup, today was going to be ok, even if he’d been forced out of bed before 7am. 

As they neared the airport, Thor could see planes circling lower and lower over their car, their white bellies flashing in the sun. He leant his head against the window and watched them, wondering if his father was up in one of them. His dad might be a bit staunch every now and again, but he was still his dad, and he missed him. 

“Hey, cheer up.” 

Thor glanced over to his mom. “Huh?” 

“You look morose.” 

“I do?” 

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Or just sleepy.” 

Thor laughed. “I could use a sleep in.” 

“Maybe tomorrow, then.” 

Thor saw his opening. “Hey, mom.” 

“What?” she asked, already suspicious – apparently he was using his ‘wheedling’ tone again. 

“You know how I’m going to Loki’s today and staying for dinner?” 

“….yes…” 

“Can I stay the night?” he asked, all in a rush, before he could wimp out. 

She didn’t say anything for a moment, just gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “And would this be in his bed?” she asked, going straight to the point. 

He saw no point in lying. They both well knew that there wouldn’t be much sleeping going on, and any that did would most certainly be in Loki’s bed. “Yes.” 

“Thank you for telling the truth.” She sighed. “Look, if you two are having sex, nothing I can say or do is going to stop you. All I can say is _please_ make sure you use protection, especially considering that Loki could get pregnant. But, tonight? Thor, this is the first day your father is going to be home in a while. I think it would be nice if you got to spend at least a little bit of time with him. Going to Loki’s for the day is already stretching it. Come home after dinner. You can spend the night another time.” 

Thor bit his tongue. He’d been expecting it, and to be honest he was a little pleased that she’d given in to the idea of them having sex and he could expect to be able to stay at Loki’s every now and again without having to sneak around to do it. He would have loved to have stayed with Loki that night, but as long as he could do it another time, he could cope. 

“Ok mom.” 

She smiled and patted his knee. 

* 

By the time they’d got to the airport, located Thor’s father in amongst the throngs of people, extracted him, bundled him in the car and got everyone home in one piece it was pushing 11am. Thor was _starving_ , because one pop-tart was just never enough, and when his stomach growled loudly enough to disturb the dead his father insisted on taking everyone out for lunch, and then they were back in the car and hoofing it down to some fancy restaurant his father particularly liked. 

Thor just gritted his teeth and smiled. He liked that his father was back home, because he _had_ missed him, even if he would forever deny it. He just wished lunch was over already so he could go to Loki’s. While his parents talked quietly in the front of the car, he pulled out his phone and texted him quickly. 

“ _Dad making us go 2 lunch. Be there as soon as I can :)_ ” 

“Are you still attached to that thing?” his father asked, looking at him through the rearview mirror. 

Thor reddened slightly, shrugged, and put it away. “Not _that_ attached, dad.” 

“Huh. Could have fooled me. Who are you texting?” 

Thor panicked. Just slightly, and internally, of course. “No one.” 

“So you were texting yourself?” 

“Odin,” his mother said quietly, pressing a hand to his arm. Thor relaxed, hoping she was going to make him drop it. Then she continued talking. “Thor has a special friend.” 

_Oh crap._ Thor wanted to roll into a ball and die. “MOM!” It didn’t help anything. His father sniggered and grinned widely at him through the mirror again. 

“Oh? And what’s his name?” 

“Loki,” Thor mumbled. He guessed this was his mother’s way of getting his father used to everything. It was a little sooner than he thought they’d planned, but his mother knew his father well enough to know what was appropriate and when. He had no choice but to run with it. 

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear that. Can you say it again, a little louder?” his father asked, just downright teasing him now. 

“Loki, ok! His name is Loki.” 

“Do I know this Loki?” 

“No. He only started at school just after you left.” 

“Oh. Nice boy?” he said this to Thor’s mother, rather than him, as if Loki needed to have passed some sort of test before he could be eligible for Thor’s affections. 

“I’ve only met him once, but he seems lovely. Thor’s going to invite him over for dinner this week, aren’t you dear?” she said, leaning over the back of the seat and giving him a little wink. 

He smiled back at her. “Yes.” 

“Good, good,” Odin said absent-mindedly, distracted by trying to pull into the restaurant. “I want to meet him.” 

“You will, dad.” 

And that was the end of that. 

* 

Lunch was at least quite good, and Thor got two plates at the insistence of his father who said he was a growing boy and needed his ‘sustenance’. Thor decided not to protest the use of ‘boy’ and just asked for another hamburger instead. 

He was so full by the time he rolled out that he wasn’t sure if he’d left any room for dinner. 

Loki had texted him back halfway through lunch, telling him to enjoy lunch and turn up whenever he wanted. He had ended the text with masses of kisses and hearts, which was unusual for him (while there were kisses and hearts quite often, there normally wasn’t _that_ many). It made Thor blush madly (which, he realized in hindsight, was probably exactly what Loki had hoped for) and his parents tease him until dessert arrived. 

All in all, he was quite pleased to be able to get out of there. 

He was even more pleased when his parents dropped him straight off at Loki’s house, thankfully not insisting on going inside and meeting Loki’s parents and embarrassing him anymore. 

Loki must have been waiting for him because he had the door open before he’d even made it to the porch. Seeing him again, even though they’d hardly been apart that long, made Thor’s insides heat up and squirm pleasantly. It felt strangely comforting. 

“Hey,” he said breathlessly, picking up Loki and giving him a tight hug. 

Loki laughed and squealed and went along with it, returning the hug and kissing him with fervor. It wasn’t until Thor put him down that Loki whispered in his ear, “your parents are watching.” 

Thor gasped and would have dropped Loki if he hadn’t already put him back on steady ground, and spun around to see… nothing. Loki howled with laughter behind him and had to lean on the door jamb to steady himself. 

“Loki!” 

“What!” Loki gasped out between giggles. “Your face!” 

“You are so dead.” 

Loki just kept laughing. Thor screwed up his face at him, which only made him laugh harder, and then Thor had to give in. 

He chuckled at him and then at Loki, who was practically dying, and wrapped his arms around him again. “I will get my revenge for that.” 

“Yeah?” Loki asked breathlessly. “Going to apple-pie my bed?” 

“I’ll do something to your bed but it won’t be something that’ll stop you getting in it.” 

Loki leaned closer to him and whispered, “As long as it involves you, me and no clothes I’m in.” 

Thor smiled and was about to say something rather dirty when a voice interrupted them. 

“Is my son going to let you in or are you two going to stand there for the rest of the day?” 

Loki broke apart from him rather quickly, his face flushed and red, but his mother just laughed at him and gave him a quick hug before encouraging Thor to come in and close the door. 

“How are you, Thor?” 

“I’m good, Mrs… uh, Farbauti.” 

She smiled, and Thor was struck by how pretty she was. Loki took after her, the two of them sharing the same delicate features. He remembered her looking tired and worn out the first time he’d came here, but now she seemed revived, as if she’d had a holiday. He made a mental note to ask Loki. 

“Want a drink, Thor?” Loki asked, practically hanging off the fridge door. 

“Uh, yeah. Whatever you have.” 

“We have half the grocery store. Come look.” 

Farbauti gave Thor another smile before leaving them to it and moving back into the living room, where Thor could hear the television going. 

“I love my mom but if I hadn’t rescued you she’d be interrogating you right now,” Loki said, giving Thor a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“Are you sure she isn’t related to my mother?” 

Loki giggled. “Did you get the Inquisition last night?” 

Thor made a face. “Yes.” 

“But you survived.” 

“Not without some injury. But I think I’ll live,” Thor said bravely, deciding not to tell Loki his mother’s reservations. He didn’t need to know. 

“Awww, that’s my brave soldier,” Loki pandered, pulling Thor in for a deeper kiss. They were enjoying it thoroughly when the fridge beeped at them, angry that the door was still open. 

“Ugh. Fridges. I think this one is sentient,” Loki said, kicking the door shut before opening it again. “Coke?” 

“Yes please.” 

Loki passed him a can and Thor popped it open before draining half of it. He hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. “Christ. Deprived, are you?” Loki said, watching him drink. He pulled out another can from the fridge. “You’d better have another one.” 

Thor opened his mouth to say something but managed to burp instead. “Whoops.” 

“Charming,” Loki said dryly, arching an eyebrow. “Come on, let’s go to my room before my grandmother waylays you. I think she likes you.” 

“Really?” Thor asked, letting himself be dragged along by a hand. 

“Yeah. Apparently you’re the first boy I’ve ever brought home that she actually likes.” 

Thor smiled, quite pleased with himself. “Cool!” 

“Isn’t it just. I think I might agree with her assessment of you too.” 

“Do I have a report card?” 

“Knowing my mother and my grandmother, quite possibly. My dad, on the other hand, probably has cameras set up at your house and people following you to make sure you’re legit.” 

Thor wasn’t quite sure whether to smile or not. “You aren’t serious, right?” 

Loki stopped outside his door. “Who says I’m not?” he asked, with a very straight face, before disappearing inside. 

Thor stood there for a moment, before Loki reappeared and pulled him back in before closing the door. “Don’t be silly, of course I’m not serious.” 

“I’m not sure I believe you.” 

“If I was you, I wouldn’t believe me either.” 

Thor laughed and pulled Loki in for a hug. Loki sighed and leaned into him, letting him take his weight. They stood there for what seemed like a long time, just remembering how their bodies felt against each other. 

“Where’s Briana?” Thor asked into Loki’s neck, missing her. 

Loki pointed to a baby monitor on his bedside table. “Sleeping. You wanna see her?” 

“Yeah.” 

Loki took his hand and pressed a single finger against his lips, asking him to stay quiet. He pushed open the door that Thor had assumed led to an en-suite bathroom. It was a nursery, painted a bright shade of yellow. The blinds were low, dimming the light, but Thor could see a changing table, shelves, a wooden rocking chair and in the middle of the room, a wooden cot. 

Briana was sleeping quietly, her hands clenched into fists. Loki bent over to kiss her forehead softly, but Thor was so worried he’d wake her he just stood to the side and watched her. What his mother had pointed out yesterday was true – he had no idea what he was doing. And it was terrifying. It was all well and good just watching, but if he wanted to do this properly he needed to _try_ , which was, in a way, even more terrifying. If he hurt her because he wasn’t doing something properly, he’d never forgive himself. And he didn’t think Loki would either. 

Loki saw him watching and smiled. “It’s ok. Come here.” 

Thor ventured forward slowly, still unsure, but all Loki wanted him to do was stand next to him. 

“I don’t want to hurt her,” he confessed eventually, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking as much as he reckoned it was. 

Loki didn’t say anything, just smiled at him again and leaned his head on his shoulder. They stood there for a moment, just looking. 

“Don’t worry about being scared,” Loki whispered suddenly. “When she was born, I was so nervous I got mom to do everything at first. Then she told me that she was my daughter, I had to learn or I would never be able to do it. She showed me everything. It’s like learning to drive a car. You don’t just hop in and drive. Someone has to show you how.” 

“Can you show me?” Thor asked, incredibly grateful that Loki understood that he had no idea what he was doing. 

“Of course,” Loki replied, and smiled up at him again. “And it’s not like I’m going to thrust her at you and tell you to look after her for a weekend.” 

Thor’s face must have blanched, because Loki collapsed in quiet giggles next to him. Thor smiled ruefully and lifted Loki up into he was pressed into his chest, his arms wrapped around Loki’s waist. He kissed Loki’s hair until he stopped giggling, and for a while all they did was stand there, both looking down at Briana while she slept, Loki tight against Thor’s chest. 

It was entirely pleasant. 

Thor nuzzled into Loki’s neck, kissing his skin gently. “She’s beautiful. I think she takes after you.” 

Loki suddenly turned shy and buried his head in Thor’s shoulder, refusing to come out even when Thor tried to coax him. He let him be after a moment, smiling at his adorableness. Come hell or high water, he was going to fix whatever was wrong with his ability to accept compliments. Quite possibly by showering him with them until he was buried in them. 

“Come on, babe. Let’s go back to your room before we wake her up,” he whispered, and at this, Loki finally reacted. Thor got a quick glance at his red face before Loki had grabbed his hand and was leading him back to his room. He followed politely, biting his lip in an effort not to smile. 

Thor shut the door behind them quietly, taking one last look at Briana, who was still fast asleep. 

“She’s starting to sit up now, you know,” Loki said, from somewhere on the floor where he was rummaging around in a box. “And she’s trying to talk. Just random stuff really, syllables.” 

“Yeah? Like what?” Thor said, as he climbed onto the bed. 

“Ma, mostly. I think my grandmother taught her that one. I inadvertently taught her ca. I was trying for ba, but never mind. Close enough. Do you want to watch a movie?” he asked, flinging up an arm with a DVD of _Interview With the Vampire_ attached to the end. 

“Uh, sure.” Any excuse to cuddle. Thor was up for that. 

Loki stood up and fiddled with the TV that sat on a shelf opposite the bed until he had the movie playing. He flicked the light switch off and pulled the curtains closed before sliding on the bed next to Thor. 

Thor wrapped his arm around him until Loki was lying against his side, head on his shoulder. “So, are you trying to teach her to say ‘mama’?” he teased, squeezing his arm around Loki. 

“Hmmphpff,” Loki said, as he buried himself deeper into Thor’s shoulder. After another nudge he resurfaced, poking out his tongue. “I think my grandmother is.” 

“You should be.” 

“Yeah, well…” 

“Well what? You’re her mom. You don’t want her calling your grandmother mama, do you?” 

That made Loki smile. “No, I guess not.” 

“Good. So we’ll have to teach her ourselves.” 

“Ok,” Loki said, and buried himself into Thor again. 

“I wasn’t finished!” Thor said, laughing. 

“Whhhhaaaaattttt??” Loki wailed. 

Thor took a deep breath before he spoke. “That time she was in hospital… did they find out whether or not she had asthma in the end?” 

Loki brought his head up slowly and just started at Thor for a moment. “Yeah. Yeah she does. Well, they called it reactive airways disease, something about not being able to diagnose it as asthma until she’s 2. It’s complicated. But she has medicine, and it seems to be getting better. She doesn’t wake up so much in the middle of the night now.” 

“That’s good. Well not good that she has asthma, or reactive airways disease or whatever it is. Good that she’s getting better.” 

“Yeah. I was so worried.” 

“You’re allowed to be,” Thor said, and kissed the top of his head. 

Loki went all shy on him again and buried his head against his chest, not coming out until Thor reminded him that he was missing the movie. “It’s Christian Slater!” 

Loki popped his head up then. “I prefer Brad Pitt.” 

“As Louis or in general?” 

Loki thought for a moment, tilting his head to the side until his hair fell over his eyes. Thor brushed his hair away with a finger, watching Loki’s eyes widen until he whispered dramatically, “I’m going to give you the choice I never had” right along with the movie. 

“That’s not the answer I was expecting.” 

“And then I said farewell to sunlight, and set out to become, what I became…” 

“You’ve watched this movie far too many times.” 

Loki grinned. “Well, to answer your question… both, I think. Brad Pitt was hot in Troy, despite all the inaccuracies. And he is hideously beautiful with that long hair in this movie.” 

“How can someone be hideous and beautiful at the same time?” 

“Don’t question me. Anyway, no matter how many times I watch this movie, I keep expecting Louis and Lestat to go at it like rabbits. Or Louis and Armand. Louis gets around.” 

“So this movie is basically a seething mass of testosterone, long hair, good-looking men and rampant homosexual undertones.” 

Loki looked pleasantly surprised. “So you _have_ seen this before then!” 

“Perhaps.” 

“Perhaps? I’m choosing to take that as ‘yes, Loki, I have watched this before. Mostly with my pants down.’ Is that right?” 

Thor laughed so hard he had to muffle himself in a pillow so as to not wake Briana. Loki thumped him between his shoulder-blades to make sure he was alright, and Thor eventually spluttered to a stop. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked, somewhat alarmed. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good.” He wiped at his eyes. “Yes, I have watched this movie before. No, I have not jerked off to it. I imagine you have, though. By the sounds of it.” 

Loki screwed up his face. “Now why would you think that?” 

“Gee, I’m not sure…” 

He got a face full of pillow again. By the time he had recovered Loki had tucked himself under the blankets and was settling in. Thor decided not to protest and promptly joined him. 

“I like your bed,” he mused, stretching to find the best spot. 

“Me too,” Loki agreed, and rolled over to face him. “It came with the house. Apparently it was so difficult to get in this room they asked if they could leave it.” 

Thor laughed. “That’s awesome.” 

“Pretty much. Don’t think mom and dad would have sprung for such a big bed otherwise.” 

“Well, it all worked out ok in the end then, didn’t it?” Thor said, grinning at him. 

“Why, so I could fit your fat ass in here? I guess so!” 

It was Thor’s turn to smother Loki with a pillow. 

“That’s so not fair!” 

“What? You can do it to me but I can’t do it to you?” 

“Pretty much.” Loki snatched the pillow off him and stuck it under his head, making sure Thor couldn’t use it as a lethal weapon any more. 

“That’s ok. I can find other things to torture you with.” 

“Like what?” 

“… I dunno. Let me think about it.” 

Loki just smirked. Thor had learned to not trust that look. He decided that the only thing he could do was relax and watch the movie, and enjoy just having Loki curled into him. The movie was good, but the bed was warm and comfortable, and he hadn’t really had much sleep… 

“Wake up,” Loki huffed, and poked him with an elbow. 

“I’m awake.” 

“You were starting to snore.” 

“I don’t snore.” 

“Sure you don’t.” Loki pulled the blanket up and wrapped it closely around them. “What do I have to do to keep you awake?” 

“Whatever you like,” Thor said teasingly. 

“Challenge accepted,” Loki said, and Thor wasn’t sure what to make of the sudden gleam in his green eyes. He hoped he wasn’t going to live to regret this. But Loki didn’t do anything, just sighed and curled in closer, his head on Thor’s shoulder. 

Thor wasn’t sure how he was supposed to be staying awake. 

* 

He was dimly aware, first, of the movie; Claudia, throwing a tantrum, cutting her hair off. But that wasn’t what woke him. Loki was massaging him through his jeans, his hands measured and knowing, and he groaned as he realized. Pleasure was filling his veins, albeit sluggishly, as his brain figured out what was going on. 

“What are you doing?” he asked sleepily, his voice heavy and rough. 

“Waking you up,” came Loki’s matter-of-fact answer, and he didn’t even bother turning from the screen. “You fell asleep.” 

“And this is how you wake me up?” 

This time, Loki did turn around, and he had a wicked smile lighting up his face. “You’d rather something else?” 

“No,” Thor said quickly. “This’ll do.” 

Loki’s smile grew. “Thought so.” Then Loki’s tiny hands were undoing the button on his jeans and pulling down the zip, and sliding under the canvas to slide over his underwear, pressing down on his cock. 

Thor groaned again and let his head fall back onto the pillow. He closed his eyes as Loki squeezed his cock, light fingers dancing down over his balls and then back up again. He was ridiculously hard surprisingly quickly. Next to him, Loki kept watching the movie. 

“I wonder how long it took them to do that makeup,” he mused quietly, attention seemingly focused more on the movie than on his hand down Thor’s pants. 

“Guh,” Thor said in reply. 

Loki patted his leg. “Want me to stop? You look awake.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare.” 

“Ok then.” 

Then Loki’s hand slipped down into his briefs, nothing separating them now. He grasped Thor’s cock and began to fist him slowly, twisting his hand at the head to cover his palm in precum to ease the slide. Thor’s hand found his way down to Loki’s leg, where it was sprawled under him as he perched over Thor’s waist. He clasped his calf through his jeans, rubbing with the same motion Loki was using on him. 

Loki shivered beneath his hand and turned his body to face him, forgetting about the movie, at least for the moment. Thor sighed and smiled at him, not at all displeased with this turn of events. Loki smiled back and shifted, until he was able to grasp Thor’s jeans and pull them down, slapping Thor on the stomach until he lifted his hips to help. 

Cool air shifted against his hot skin, not entirely unpleasantly, and then Loki’s hands wrapped around him again and Thor grunted into the skin of his fist. 

“Quiet,” Loki said, and slapped him again. 

Thor swallowed and nodded shakily. He thought about saying something but then Loki bent to lick the head of his cock and every last logical thought he had just upped and left. All he could do was flounder for the sheets and grip them with taut fists as Loki graduated from licking to swallowing, making him shudder and choke something unintelligible. 

Loki tortured him slowly, teasing him with his lips and his tongue and occasionally the dull rasp of teeth, which Thor had never thought he could possibly like but Loki just made it _work_. Then there was a small hand massaging his balls and if Loki thought he was going to hold out for longer than half a millisecond he was sorely mistaken. 

_“Loki…!”_ he gasped, one hand rising to grasp Loki’s hair. He could feel it, it was rising in his stomach and rolling down his spine and everything was starting to explode… and Loki pulled off with one last lick, staring down at Thor who was rolling around in a sudden fit of unresolved sexual pleasure and sheer frustration. 

“Are you all right?” Loki asked, looking rather concerned. 

“Loki!” 

“I’m right here Thor, no need to shout.” 

Thor blinked open an eye. Loki was keeping a straight face but he could see it was starting to break, because Loki’s lips didn’t normally wobble like that and there was a mischievous glint in his eyes… “I hate you.” 

“Uh huh. You’ll recover.” Loki patted his thigh reassuringly. 

Thor was going to _die_ , no doubt about it. He clutched his hands to his head and moaned into his palms, resisting the urge to finish himself off and then refuse to touch Loki. It was a good urge. 

“If you’ll stop acting like a toddler having a tantrum, you can get the condoms out of the bottom drawer.” 

Thor hadn’t moved so fast in his life. He threw himself over the edge of the bed and yanked the bottom drawer of the bedside table open. Right beside the black dildo that Thor had seen Loki use yesterday was an open box of condoms and a bottle of lube, and he grabbed both. 

“At some point you are going to have to show me how you use that,” Thor said. 

“Use what?” Loki asked, crawling off the bed to pull off his jeans and underwear. 

“Your… _special toy_ ,” Thor said delicately, quite aware of his insistent arousal. 

Loki smirked. “That’s not the only one I have.” 

Thor just groaned. Loki straddled his hips, facing him, and grabbed the lube from Thor’s hand. “That’s yours,” he said, nodding towards the condom. 

Thor was confused for half a minute, until he saw Loki’s lubed coated fingers disappear between his legs. 

“Oh,” Thor said, very quietly. 

He watched for a moment as Loki fingered himself, completely forgetting about the still-wrapped condom in his hand. The movement of Loki’s hand was mesmerizing – while he couldn’t see his fingers, he could see his knuckles moving, and just being able to _know_ what Loki was doing to himself made him feel as though he was perched on the edge of the Niagara Falls without a harness. 

Thor whimpered. 

Loki gasped and rocked forward, the muscles in his legs straining as he fought from landing on Thor. “Fucking… condom… Thor you idiot,” he panted, eyes furious. 

“Oh. Yes.” Thor’s hands were trembling as he ripped the packet open, and he fumbled before pressing the condom down on his cock. Loki sat back, hands now gripping either side of Thor’s hips, and watched, his entire body shaking. 

Thor rolled it on eventually and grasped for the lube, coating himself thoroughly. Loki didn’t wait to ask before pushing himself up on his knees and shifting himself forward. Thor just watched and clutched Loki’s trembling thighs as Loki lowered himself, hissing as Thor breached him. 

“Just wait,” Thor gasped, worried he’d hurt him, but Loki just glared and sunk further, one fist tangled in the bedcover. The other hand gripped Thor’s, who felt his fingernails dig into his palm. 

Then Loki was panting and fucking himself on Thor, their bodies hot and sweaty and burning against each other. All Thor could do was hold on as Loki rode him, everything frantic and messy and possibly noisy, but Loki felt so good around him it was all he could do just to hold on and swallow his moans. 

Everything around them faded until it was just them, rocking against each other desperately. Thor could feel sweat dripping between them and Loki’s cock hard up against his stomach, leaving messy trails on his skin with every thrust, and everything was rather filthy and dirty but oh oh _sooo_ good, and he wasn’t going to ask Loki to stop just to get a towel… 

All of a sudden Loki was shuddering and gasping in his ear, and Thor could feel his muscles spasm around him as he came, cock spewing over his stomach. He groaned and gripped Loki’s hips, pulling him down, teeth biting into his lip as he let Loki ride it out on top of him. 

“Mmmmmmm….” Loki moaned, practically collapsing into Thor’s arms. “That was good,” he murmured. 

“Yeah?” Thor gasped, painfully aware that his cock wasn’t pleased at the sudden change in circumstances. 

Loki sat up and bit his lip, his eyes lidded with a heady combination of satiated lust, tiredness and full on desire. “Ooops,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. 

Thor smacked his arse. 

“Going, going,” Loki grumbled good-naturedly, and slid up and off Thor. He knelt beside him and pulled off the condom, wrapping it in a tissue and tossing it in the bin. Thor wasn’t in a state to notice any of that. He did notice, however, when Loki wrapped his lips around him again and didn’t bother with the niceties. 

Thor pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes as he whined shamelessly, hips thrusting and rolling minutely despite the firm presence of Loki’s hands on his hips. He bucked as Loki swallowed around him, fighting the hands that held him down, but Loki only pressed harder. 

He risked a glance downwards to see Loki looking up at him under the dark fall of his hair, eyes wide and deep green, mouth stretched around him. 

Thor gave in. 

He howled into his fist as he came, body tense and hard as he shuddered. He ended up partially on his side, Loki still crouched down by his hips, lazily stroking his cock. 

“Hmmm… too much,” Thor muttered, grasping Loki’s wrist. 

“Ok.” 

Thor didn’t let go. He pulled Loki up next to him, every nerve in his body so satiated all he wanted to do was fall asleep. He tried tugging Loki down beside him, but Loki pushed his hand away. 

“I’m not letting that dry,” he heard Loki say, before something wet was dragging over the planes of his stomach. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. At least put on some pants, will you? If my parents come in, they don’t want to see that much of you.” 

Thor groaned into the pillow. When he found the energy to move he saw Loki was pulling on a pair of black trackpants, not bothering with underwear. Before he could reach over the side of the bed to find his jeans Loki leaned over to kiss his forehead. 

“I’m going to check on Briana, ok? Be back in a second.” 

Thor just nodded, and heard Loki leave the room quietly. With considerable effort he found his jeans and settled for pulling on his boxers, not really wanting to sleep in jeans. He was nearly asleep when Loki slipped back in the bed beside him. 

“She ok?” he murmured. 

“Yeah, she’s fine, but she’ll be up soon,” Loki whispered, snuggling in next to him. 

“That’s… good…” Thor might have said in his desperately sleepy state. 

Loki just smiled and closed his eyes.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My exams are over YAY! Sorry for the lack of updates recently. I don't start back again until the 22nd so I am really hoping to start posting more often - I'm dying to get into this! I have so many ideas it's been so frustrating not being able to write! :O
> 
> On another note, I will be playing around with the tags on this... the fic I ended to write is not the same as the fic that has actually been written... whoops. So there are a few tags that do not fit, and I'll be removing them, and possibly adding some more. I *think* I have a reasonably clear picture of where I want to head (but I also said that when I started writing this, and look where I ended up :O). I'm sorry if I disappoint anyone by deleting and changing the tags, definitely not my intention :)

Thor woke a little while later to an empty bed. He floundered for a moment, not entirely sure where he was or what in the hell was happening, until his brain switched on and thumped him awake properly. He flung out an arm under the sheets and felt the bed warm next to him, so Loki hadn’t been gone for too long. 

“Loki?” he asked cautiously, starting to rise up from his resting spot. 

“Here,” came Loki’s reply, soft and quiet, from inside the nursery. He walked into the bedroom a moment later, Briana tucked on his hip and his arms firmly around her. She was awake, looking far more cheerful than Thor supposed he did. 

“Oh, hey, she’s awake.”

“And so are you, apparently, Mr Sleepyhead,” Loki teased. He sat down on the bed next to Thor, who tugged himself fully upright. 

Briana stared at Thor with her big eyes, clinging tighter to her mother as Thor leaned closer to stroke her back. 

“I’m not convinced she likes me,” he said morosely, as her face dissolved into tears and she pulled herself into Loki’s shoulder. 

Loki gave him a sympathetic grin as he tried to soothe her. “It’s ok. It’ll take a while. She’s just not used to you yet.”

Thor pouted and moved back into the pillows as Loki hushed Briana. He found himself sitting on the remote and turned the television off, given that it seemed to be permanently stuck on the closing credits of the movie. 

“I don’t think Briana needs to be watching _Interview with the Vampire_ just yet,” Thor deadpanned, putting the remote on the bedside table. “It’s much too long.”

Loki laughed. “She’s scared of the Teletubbies. What do you think she’d do if I let her watch vampires?”

“Loki, _I’m_ scared of the Teletubbies. What were you thinking, making her watch that? You’ll give her nightmares!” Thor said, only half joking. 

Loki poked out his tongue and nuzzled into Briana’s hair before kissing her forehead. “We only watched it once.”

“And what, she screamed the house down?”

“Not quite. She did start crying though. She’s found of _Antiques Roadshow_ though, my grandmother loves watching that.”

“ _Antiques_ … Jesus Christ.”

Loki screwed his face up in mock offence. “Please don’t swear in front of my daughter!”

“Does she even know her own name?” Thor asked dryly. 

Loki pursed his lips. “She’s getting there,” he said, and lifted Briana into his arms properly. 

Thor watched from beside him, if anything a tiny bit jealous of how much Loki clearly loved Briana, and how much she seemed to adore him. Then he mentally smacked himself, because the love that Loki had for Briana was quite clearly not the same love that he and Loki for each other, and to be jealous of a baby was a little disturbing. He shook his head. 

“You ok?” Loki asked, and Thor realized he probably looked a little silly.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he said with a rueful smile, not really willing to let Loki know how screwed up his thoughts were every now and again. 

Loki settled back into the pillows, Briana across his chest. He carefully held her with his left arm and reached out his right arm to Thor. “Come here,” he said, beckoning.

Thor looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

Loki smirked. “Just come here. I want her to get used to you.”

Shrugging, Thor crawled closer and pressed into Loki’s side. Loki snuggled into him and rested his head against his shoulder, squirming until Thor had his left arm around him, holding him. 

“Comfy?” Thor asked, looking down at Loki, who smiled back up at him. 

“Yes. Thank you.”

Briana stared up at Thor again, her lips wobbling a little, and Thor cringed as he thought she was going to cry again. 

“Kiss me,” Loki said suddenly. 

“What?” Thor asked, a little taken-aback. 

“Kiss me. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I want her to know that _I_ like you, even if she doesn’t at the moment.”

“Charming,” Thor said, but bent down to kiss Loki anyway. He kissed him softly, finding that he forgot about Briana quickly, not that he had intended to. Loki pressed against him, lips seeking him out, and Thor bit gently on his lower lip, making him giggle. 

Between giggles Thor kept kissing him, little touches, and played with the ends of his hair, curling it between his fingers. Loki preened underneath him, indulging in what Thor had to offer, and kissed him back with fervor. 

Thor pressed his forehead against Loki’s and kissed his nose, and startled when something grabbed his hair. 

“Briana!” Loki said, startled, and burst into giggles. 

“Loki, I’d appreciate it if you called your daughter off!” Thor insisted, head bent at an awkward angle as Briana curled her little fist around strands of his blonde hair. 

“Oh darling…” Loki cooed as he encouraged her to release Thor’s hair. “Let him go, sweetheart.” 

She giggled, her mouth wide in a bright smile, and Thor had to concede it was cute, despite the pain. He wasn’t sure what to think when, after Loki had gotten her to let go, she immediately smushed her hand into his face. 

“Ohhhh… I give up,” Thor moaned around her little hand. 

“You know, I think she’s warming to you,” Loki said, encouragingly. 

“I’m not sure about that one,” Thor said after Loki had managed to detach Briana. “Where did you find that trick? _Supernanny_?”

“I made it up,” Loki said, somewhat sheepishly. 

“I would never have guessed, darling.” It made Thor laugh though, to see Briana still staring at him with an awfully distrustful look while Loki fussed over her with all the love of a mother. “I’m not that bad, really,” he said quietly to Briana, bending over to look at her closely. Her big green eyes just stared back, now more full of curiosity than distrust, and Thor risked a finger by running it gently down her chubby cheek. She shied away at first, not sure, but Loki held her tight and reassured her and then she was letting him stroke her, still softly, still gently.

Thor felt full of something he couldn’t describe. His chest felt tight, not uncomfortably, but as though something was bubbling up inside him and it needed to come out. It wasn’t something that he could remember feeling before, and he didn’t know what it was. It was foreign, but not altogether unwelcome. 

“Hey,” he whispered, worried that his voice would crack, and Briana looked at him, clinging tightly to Loki. “It’s ok. I’m not going to hurt you.” 

She couldn’t understand what he was saying, but he hoped that his voice – despite the wavering – would reassure her a little. She looked a little more comfortable around him now, but he knew it would take a while for him to earn her trust. For now he settled for making sure she was alright with him touching her, and then let her be, so she wouldn’t think he was going to fawn over her forever. 

“She’ll get there,” Loki said, and smiled, so proud of her that it made Thor smile himself. 

“Yeah, she will. I suppose she doesn’t remember me from yesterday.”

“I think she was more interested in sleeping than you yesterday.”

“I don’t blame her.”

Briana wriggled in Loki’s arms, eager to move, and Loki settled her between his legs. She lay on her stomach and flopped her arms around, as if she was trying to crawl but hadn’t quite figured out that she was supposed to use her legs at the same time. Thor and Loki shared a quiet chuckle and she turned a beaming smile on them, loving the attention. For a while she tried to move around, before attempting to roll over and just making it to her side. Thor found her almost addicting to watch, as if he could watch her forever, and when he turned to Loki and saw the adoration shining in his eyes he realized that he barely knew the half of it. 

She played around on the bed for a while, squealing and babbling, her little hands trying to grasp the bedcovers, or occasionally, their clothes. Loki grabbed some toys for her from the nursery and the 30 seconds that Thor was alone with her were almost terrifying. She was in the middle of the bed, and he was one foot away from her, but the thought that she might hurt herself was almost incomprehensible. Thor tried not to make his sigh of relief too obvious when Loki came back into the room. 

It was clear she knew who her mother was. As soon as she saw Loki again she stopped and squealed with happiness, her face lighting up. Loki mimicked her squeal and pretended to swoop down on her, making her laugh even harder. He picked her up and swung her around carefully like an airplane as she held her arms up and to the side, little feet kicking out behind her. Thor couldn’t help but laugh along with her. 

Loki collapsed back onto the bed alongside him, Briana bundled in his arms. This time she grinned up at Thor, clearly having forgiven him for whatever he’d done, or perhaps she was too happy to hold onto that grudge. Either way, he wasn’t going to argue. He reached out a finger and she was onto it in a second, holding it surprisingly tightly. 

“Wow. Am I going to get this back?” he asked Loki with a smile. “She’s strong.”

“Yeah,” Loki said proudly. “If she wants something she won’t let it go. Mom says I was the same when I was a baby too.”

“Taking after you, then.”

“I hope so.”

There was an unspoken thought there, about James, and Thor let it go. Talking about that would just ruin the moment. He grabbed one of the toys instead, some sort of floppy animal with plastic rings on the side, and held it out to Briana. She reached out and pawed at it, unable to get a grip, until Loki fastened her hand around it. She yanked it from Thor and put half of it in her mouth. 

“I’m going to assume that’s ok for her to suck on,” Thor said, watching as she started to drool around the toy in her mouth. 

“Yeah. I think she’s figuring out the world by sticking everything into her mouth at the moment. Everything’s fair game. Just gotta keep the small stuff away from her. Eh, sweetie?” he said fondly, bending down to cuddle her. 

She giggled and took the toy out of her mouth, flinging it up and down in one hand as Loki kissed her. Thor wished he had a camera. 

They watched her play for a little longer, until she seemed to lose interest in the toys and turned her focus to Loki. She pawed at his lap until he lifted her into it, and she pressed her head into his belly. 

“She tired?” Thor asked, not sure how she could be so soon after her nap, even with playing.  
“Maybe,” Loki said. “She might be hungry.” He bent down to wrap his arms around her. “You hungry baby?” he asked quietly. Thor just about died inside when she turned her head to his and nuzzled into him. He suddenly understood his mother’s infatuation with babies. 

“What do you feed her?” Thor asked awkwardly, his ignorance uncomfortable, to him at least. What in the hell did you feed babies anyway?

Loki looked up at him and gave him a reassuring smile. “I breastfeed, mainly. When I’m at school she gets formula or expressed milk.”

Thor wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what expressed milk was. 

“Oh. Does she, um, get… _normal_ food?” Thor asked, his voice practically squeaking. 

Thankfully, Loki seemed too preoccupied with Briana to notice. “Sometimes. Not much. Really mushed up stuff, if anything. She’s picky.”

Briana started to grizzle then, her little face screwed up in unhappiness. Thor understood completely when Loki lifted her into his arms and cuddled her. He had a funny feeling he’d want to do the same thing. This was most odd. 

“She’s hungry, I need to feed her,” Loki said, starting to get up. 

“Where are you going?” Thor asked, confused. 

“I’ll feed her in the nursery.”

“Do you always?” Thor wondered if he had to go get this expressed milk, whatever it was. 

“No, I just feed her wherever.”

“Then why don’t you do it here?” Thor asked. The bed was as good a place as any, surely. And he liked to see Loki interacting with Briana. It was _dead cute_ , he supposed. 

“I have to breastfeed her, Thor,” Loki said, an edge to his voice. 

“And you can’t do that in here?” Thor was quite aware he was being persistent. 

Loki stood by the bed, rocking back and forth as Briana grizzled in his arms. He hid behind his hair, face tense. 

“What is it?” Thor asked, afraid something was wrong.

Loki looked at him, and that wary, afraid look that Thor hadn’t seen for a while was back. “Uhhh...” he started, but whatever it was, Loki seemed to be too embarrassed to tell him.

“Loki... it's ok. Remember? You don’t have to be afraid of anything.”

That finally made Loki smile. “Yeah. I just... I had a baby, Thor. I don't look the same way I used too.”

Then suddenly, Thor realised why Loki had been so cagey about letting Thor touch him or take off his shirt. He was so relieved that that was the only problem that he laughed. “That doesn't matter, Loki. I don't care what you look like.”

Loki didn't look convinced. “I've been trying to lose weight, but still, some of it just doesn't want to go.”

Thor sobered up. He remembered how little Loki tended to eat and realised it wasn't because Loki just didn't eat much, it was because he was trying to diet. “You're breastfeeding. You shouldn't be on a diet!”

Loki shrugged unhappily. “It wasn't until I started to get fat that James started to hate what had happened to me.”

“Yeah well James is a fucking idiot. I thought we had agreed on that one,” Thor said, almost angrily, and Loki looked up, fearful. “A guy who abandons his boyfriend just because he's pregnant is the lowest sort of scum in the planet. Forget what he said, he's full of it. Loki, seriously, I don't care if you're 300 pounds and have four arms. It doesn't matter. I love you the way you are.” Thor knew it was cliché, but he meant it.

Then Loki started smiling, albeit a little shakily. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes, I mean it. Now, do what you have to. I’m not going to care what you look like, Loki. You know that.”

That made Loki smile, and Thor patted the bed beside him. Loki sat back down carefully, cradling Briana’s head. “Can you hold her for a moment?” he asked nervously, and Thor reached for her without question. She didn’t seem very impressed – evidently she was quite aware that Thor couldn’t provide for her in the same way that her mommy could. Thor grimaced as she started to wail, but took solace in the fact that it was only for a moment. He tried to comfort her, but apparently only managed to make it worse. 

“She’ll get over it,” Loki reassured him, as he arranged himself against the pillows. “She’s just grumpy because she’s hungry.”

“I figured,” Thor said morosely. He wasn’t sure what it said about him, that Briana seemed to enjoy crying when it came to him. He tried to shush her, but she just glared and wailed louder. 

Loki looked at her, a little worried, and bent over to kiss her head. “Have patience, little one.”

Briana looked at him, her little face red and shiny with tears. She attempted to crawl over to him but didn’t make it far before Thor grasped her. He figured she was bound to hate her now. 

“Just a second,” Loki said, hands going to the hem of his shirt. He hesitated, though, and looked uncomfortable. 

“Loki… it’s ok,” Thor said, his hands full of hungry, wailing baby.

Loki nodded, and looked away as he pulled his shirt over his head. He had a vest on underneath, and Thor recognised it as one his mother liked to wear occasionally – she claimed they “sucked everything in”. Thor just reckoned they were really tight shirts. Loki dragged it up over his head and threw it away, but he kept his back to Thor the whole time. 

Loki seemed shy as he turned around, but Thor, naturally, couldn't help but look. Loki was hardly fat – there was a little thickness around his hips but nothing unusual, though he saw stripes of skin that looked a different colour around the edge of his stomach.

“Stretch marks,” Loki said shyly, noticing him looking. He took Briana from Thor's arms carefully, and she seemed to know what was going on because she stopped crying.

Thor watched as Loki settled back against the bed, and shifted Briana in his arms. Loki's chest was rounded, little breasts full of milk, and Thor realised he hadn't noticed until now because of the vest that Loki probably chose to wear every day. He wondered just how comfortable that would have been.

Briana latched on and started to suckle, a tiny fist lying against Loki's chest. Thor felt that familiar feeling run through him – the one that only Loki evoked: fierce protection. He moved up closer and snuggled in next to Loki, wrapping an arm around him and letting him fit against him.

Loki sighed and turned his head into Thor’s neck, closing his eyes. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

“For what?” Thor asked, confused. 

“For not being freaked out by all this.”

Thor kissed the top of his head. “You’re going to have to try harder if you want to freak me out,” he said with a grin. 

“Pity we didn’t take a birth video then,” Loki said dryly, and tilted his head up towards Thor. “That ought to do it.”

“Yeah… I think I might pass on that one,” Thor agreed. “Blood isn’t my thing.”

“It’s not my thing either,” Loki said, and shifted slightly until Briana was more comfortable. “But I didn’t have much choice in the matter.”

“What about a caesarean?” Thor mused out loud. 

“That does, believe it or not, produce a reasonable amount of blood,” Loki pointed out with a wry smile. “Think it must be because of the whole ‘cutting my stomach open’ thing.”

Thor winced at the thought. 

“I know,” Loki said, having seen his grimace. “But I turned down a caesarean for other reasons.”

“You had a choice?” Thor asked, not sure if he ought to be surprised or not. He really didn’t have much a clue when it came to matters like this. 

“Well, yeah, everyone does,” Loki said. “My doctors wanted me to. But I didn’t, personal choice more than anything else.”

“But the pain…” Thor thought out loud. 

“Sucked,” Loki finished for him. “But they didn’t exactly toss me on the bed and leave me there. I had more drugs than a Mexican cartel.”

Thor snorted, and then slapped a hand over his mouth as Briana shifted at the noise. “Sorry,” he squeaked. 

Loki shrugged with the shoulder that Briana wasn’t laying against. “Don’t worry. Takes a lot to make her stop nursing anyway, you’ll have to be louder next time.”

“I think I’ll leave her be,” Thor said, but risked it by stroking Briana’s head with a finger. She didn’t stir, so he continued. He watched as she suckled, somewhat fascinated, both because he had never seen anyone breastfeeding before and also because it was _Loki_ \- it was his Loki. Everything in his universe was basically being rewritten. This wasn’t anything he had envisaged would be part of his life, at least not so soon.

He tried to stop thinking, and let himself relax again. It was quite peaceful, lying there, and if it wasn’t for the nap they’d had Thor was pretty sure he would have fallen asleep again. 

After a while Loki sat back up to move Briana to his other breast, and then he really did fall asleep on Thor after they settled back down. Thor tried not to disturb them, keeping as still as he could, even when his back started to ache after being twisted for so long. It was worth it – everything seemed so worth it. 

He watched over Briana when she seemed to have had enough and stopped nursing, but Loki didn’t stir. He wasn’t sure if he ought to wake him or not, but Briana fell asleep too and they both seemed so calm he was reluctant. Very carefully, he moved himself until he was square against the pillows and the ache in his back eased. Loki shifted against him but didn’t wake. 

Briana had moved in Loki’s arms. Thor reached down and tried to readjust where she lay, so her mouth was free of Loki’s breast. She sniffled, her little nose crinkling, and Thor bit his lip to stop a laugh escaping. She was gorgeous. 

He pulled up a blanket from the bed to cover both of them, being careful to leave Briana’s head free. He supposed he could have used the opportunity to become better acquainted with the assets that Loki had kept from him for so long, but he figured it was slightly sleazy to do it while Loki was asleep, and a little wrong when Briana was currently the primary benefactor. 

So he covered Loki up and hoped his selflessness would reward him later. 

*

Loki didn’t wake up until Briana awoke and started squirming in his arms. He groaned, and heaved himself up and off of Thor, raising Briana until she was against his side. She calmed quickly and stared at Thor, as if wondering what he was still doing around. 

“Is she up now or do you need to put her back down in her cot?” Thor asked, finding this business of worrying about a child before his own needs a little novel. 

“She’ll stay up for a bit, now,” Loki said, though it sounded as if he was speaking through clenched teeth. Thor would have dismissed it if it weren’t for the sudden tightness that became noticeable across Loki’s shoulders. 

“You ok?” Thor asked, bending forward to better see him. 

Loki nodded, but he was grimacing. 

“No you aren’t,” Thor said, and held out his hands for Briana. “What’s wrong?”

Loki passed her over without complaint, and clutched at his stomach. “Just a stomach ache.”

Briana clutched at Thor’s shirt. “Since when?” 

“Since partway through feeding her. It happens, sometimes, since she was born. It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing,” Thor pointed out. 

Loki shifted to the end of the bed and started rummaging through the things on his bedside table. He found a pack of Ibuprofen and downed a couple with water, screwing up his face at the taste. He crawled back onto the bed and under the covers before curling up. 

Thor wanted to climb under the covers and curl up with him, to try and comfort him somewhat, but he still had Briana. She was restless now, and wanted to play, so he let her down between his knees. 

Loki reached out a hand just to stroke her, make sure she was alright, before withdrawing it and pulling the covers up around himself. Thor stroked his forehead and found it clammy and warm, and he worried about how quickly Loki seemed to have fallen ill. 

“Should I get your mom?” he asked, concerned. 

Loki shook his head and then closed his eyes. “Just wanna rest for a bit. Take Briana to her if you want.” His voice sounded strained, and Thor felt all kinds of worried. Loki didn’t look well at all. 

*

He didn’t take Briana to Farbauti. He played with her on the bed for a while, marvelling at all the things she could do, while simultaneously keeping an eye on Loki, who’d fallen into a restless sleep. He was worried about the pinched look on his face, and about how Loki had said the stomach aches had been happening since Briana was born. He wasn’t a doctor, but that didn’t sound right. 

Briana chewed on her toys, on Thor’s pants and then his hair. He was wiping the drool off his face when there was a soft knock on the door. 

“Yeah?” he said automatically, forgetting for a moment he was at Loki’s house and not at home, and that whoever was at the door was not his mother. 

Farbauti edged the door open and poked her head in. “Just wondering how you boys are getting on,” she asked. “It’s nearly dinner time.”

Thor had no idea it was that late. He’d ditched his phone when he came in and there wasn’t a clock to be seen. “Oh. Um, we’re good, Loki’s just having a nap,” he said, trying really hard not to feel bad about telling Loki’s mom a bit of a white lie. He failed, and felt awful. 

She nodded. “Ok. Dinner’s in 20 minutes. If you get bored or she gets restless bring her down to the living room.”

“Ok. Sounds good.” 

She smiled and closed the door behind her, and Loki didn’t so much as stir.

*

It seemed that, with the time she was being forced to spend with Thor, Briana was starting to get used to him, however reluctant she was. He found toys for her, let her play with his hair (painful) his shirt (he wasn’t sure if his mom could tackle those drool stains) and at one point she tried to stand on his groin (extra painful). 

She did tire of him eventually though, and tried – without much success – to wake Loki by tapping him with her hand. He murmured something in his sleep and nearly rolled onto her, if it wasn’t for Thor rescuing her just in time. Thor decided that they both needed a change of scenery and picked her up carefully to take her to the living room. 

She clung to him and drooled into his shoulder, and then tried using him as a teething ring. He wasn’t sure if it was the grimace or the spreading pool of drool that prompted Farbauti to take Briana when they finally made it to the living room. 

“Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting,” she teased gently, and all Thor could do was smile ruefully. At least he got to be able to hand her back. Loki had to look after her nearly all the time. 

He took a seat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, and Farbauti fetched him a Coke from the fridge without question. “You look like you need it,” she said, while simultaneously juggling Briana and the last of the dinner preparation. 

Thor shrugged. “I don’t know much about babies,” he confessed. 

“Do you have any brothers or sisters?” Farbauti asked, stopping to press a kiss to Briana’s forehead before pulling plates out of the cupboard one-handed. 

Thor hopped off the stool to give her a hand. “No. I think my parents wanted another child, but they were never able,” he said, remembering the three years that had left his parents frustrated and, eventually, resigned. “They got stuck with me.”

Farbauti laughed. “I think they got a pretty good deal,” she said, smiling. “You’ve been so good to Loki. It’s been a while he’s had someone to look out for him.”

Warmth pooled in his stomach and Thor felt his face grow red. He tried to hide it by pretending to fumble in the cupboard for glasses, and he suspected that Farbauti knew exactly what he was doing. He also suspected she wasn’t waiting for an answer. It was exceptionally kind of her to say what she had, and Thor just didn’t know what to say. The reply was bundled in a range of emotions of feelings that Thor just couldn’t describe and say out loud. 

The moment was shattered by Briana’s sudden squealing. Thor turned around with the glasses cradled in his hands to see her triumphantly holding a shiny teaspoon aloft from her perch on Farbauti’s hip. The delight on her face at acquiring such an intriguing object was beautiful. Farbauti laughed as she watched her, encouraging her play. Thor wondered just what having Briana around meant to her and Loki’s father. 

Thor set the table quickly, finding everything with Farbauti’s direction. He laid out the cutlery and glasses and a jug of chilled water, then pulled out place mats and set them at each place. They had scenic pictures of Norway on them, and while Thor had never been there his parents always had coffee table books on Norway and paintings up on the walls. He recognised Laupstad, in the Lofotens, and the North Cape, and what was probably an especially desolate part of Finnmark, but there were a couple he did not know. He held up one placemat that showed a picturesque harbour. 

“Where is this?” he asked Farbauti. 

She turned away from the sink and wiped her hands on a dishcloth. “That’s Stavern, in Vestfold. Laufey – Loki’s father – his parents are from there. When Loki was younger we would often go there for holidays. It’s a lovely place.”

“It looks like it,” Thor said, and finally set it down. His parents were Norwegian, and they often spoke Norwegian around him, but apart from the paintings and the books Thor knew very little about Norway. It made him feel a little disconnected, as if he was missing something. 

“Loki said your parents are from Oslo?” Farbauti asked. 

“Yeah. They came over here just before I was born. I’ve never been,” Thor said, with no little regret. “My father often goes back for work, though.”

“Ah. You should go, when you have the chance. It’s a wonderful place. You’d like it.”

“I think I would,” Thor said, and if his smile was a little sad, Farbauti didn’t comment. 

“Dinner’s nearly ready. Why don’t you go wake up Loki? I’m going to change Briana before dinner.”

“Yeah, of course,” Thor said, perking up a little. He followed Farbauti down the hallway, Briana’s face staring at him from over her shoulder, and he couldn’t resist poking his tongue out at her, eliciting a squeal of joy. 

Farbauti knocked on Loki’s door gently and then opened it quietly, slipping inside and leaving it open for Thor to follow. She took Briana into the nursery and shut the door, leaving Thor alone in the room with Loki, who was still fast asleep. 

He sat down gingerly at the edge of the bed. “Hey,” he whispered, trying to wake Loki up as gently as he could. “Loki.” He touched Loki’s shoulder softly, and shook him carefully. “Wake up.”

Loki sighed and flopped over, wriggling as he fought to stay asleep. Thor shook him again, and this time Loki mumbled something and swiped sleepily at Thor’s arm. “Go away…”

“Dinner, Loki. Time to get up.”

Loki groaned. “I hate you.”

“I know,” Thor said adoringly. Loki was very, very cute when he was half awake. “How’s the stomach?”

“Better,” Loki said, and with Thor’s help, struggled upright. 

“Better enough to eat dinner?”

“Hmmmm… yes,” Loki said decisively. “Mom’s cooking.”

Thor laughed. “It smells good, I can tell you that.”

“Always does.”

Thor stood up to let Loki climb off the bed. 

“Where’s Briana?” Loki asked, as he rummaged through his dresser for a change of clothes. 

“Your mom has her,” Thor said, and indicated towards the nursery. “She’s changing her.”

“Oh. Good,” Loki said, and pulled a clean shirt over his head before swapping his trackpants for jeans. He brushed his hair and tied it up, and looked, to Thor’s eyes at least, a lot better than he had before his sleep. 

“You look gorgeous,” Thor whispered, and brought Loki close for a hug that turned into a prolonged cuddle and then a reasonably heavy make out session. They were so distracted they didn’t hear Farbauti and Briana come back into the room. 

“I guess I should knock next time, huh?” she said wryly, smiling as Thor and Loki leapt apart. “Don’t worry boys, I’ve seen worse.”

She handed a delighted Briana back to Loki, who covered her with kisses and nearly squeezed her to death in a cuddle. 

“Dinner, baby,” Loki said to Briana, and they headed back down the hallway to the kitchen. 

*

Thor ran out of superlatives for Farbauti’s cooking. His mom was a pretty good cook, but Farbauti used her own style that seemed to infuse everything she made with a particular zest. He had seconds, and then with Laufey’s encouragement, thirds. 

It wasn’t just the food that was good. Loki’s family was so loving and so comfortable around each other that Thor realized with a start halfway through that he was almost _jealous_. He loved his parents, and they loved each other, but quite often at home it was just him and his mother and things could be lonely. Here, even though Loki was an only child as well, his parents, grandmother and Briana filled out the table and conversation ran freely and sometimes, fiercely. 

Thor sat next to Loki, who had Briana in a high chair next to him. Farbauti had made up some soft baby food for her, and in between bites he would feed her some, until she screwed up her face and refused any more, curtailing Loki’s encouragement. 

“Give it time,” Loki’s grandmother – who told Thor very firmly that her name was Ane, and to call her that in future – said, and stood up to fetch a wet cloth to wipe Briana’s mouth and hands. “She’s not used to solids so well just yet.”

“When did you feed her, darling?” Farbauti asked. 

“About an hour ago,” Loki said, glancing at the clock. “So I should feed her again before I put it down.”

Farbauti nodded. “You be careful. She’s getting fat.”

Thor thought she was serious until everyone cracked up. Briana looked overjoyed to see everyone so happy and clapped her hands together, making Thor laugh. Loki looked at him, his grin wide and careful, and Thor had to stop himself from leaning over to kiss him in front of his parents. 

*

They lounged around after dinner, too full to move, and though it was rapidly darkening outside Thor was reluctant to text his parents to ask them to pick him up. He wanted to stay, not just because of Loki, but because of Briana and the intensely welcoming feeling that seemed to pervade Loki’s house, making him feel as though he could walk in without knocking and just fling himself in a chair, shoes on and all. He felt like he could stay forever, but he knew that couldn’t happen. 

Loki nudged him with a shoulder. “What is it?” he asked quietly. 

Thor sighed. “I should go soon. My mom wants me home at a reasonable hour.”

He was grateful for the understanding smile that Loki gave him. They had moved to the living room and taken to the couches, and Loki sat next to him with Briana on his lap. She was on the verge of falling asleep, trying valiantly to stay awake with everyone around her, but Thor could see her eyes beginning to close. He wanted to be there when she fell asleep, he wanted to be there to look over her while she slept, and he wanted to be there when she was awake, to make sure the evil in the world couldn’t touch her. He wanted more than he could ever hope to put into words. 

“Stay for just a little bit more,” Loki whispered. 

Thor kissed him, not caring that Loki’s parents were just across from them. When they pulled apart, Briana was asleep. 

*

In the end, Laufey dropped him home, and if Thor had expected his first experience being alone with his boyfriend’s father to be awkward he was wrong. He picked up on the vibe that Laufey had probably been a strict father, but he also had a side to him that was humorous and understanding, and Thor managed to not make a total fool of himself. That was surely still to come.

He didn’t live too far away, and the drive was reasonably short. It was well dark out by the time he arrived home, and his mother met him at the door after he said thank you and goodbye to Laufey. 

“Well, how did it go?” she asked him expectantly. 

“Good, really good,” Thor said, deciding she didn’t need to know about the whole sex thing.

“Did you ask Loki which day he could come for dinner?” 

Oh. Whoops. “No… I forgot.” Thor winced. “But I can ask him at school on Monday.”

She nodded her head and seemed satisfied. “Good, good. Your father’s doing some work in his office so don’t disturb him, okay?”

Thor wouldn’t dare. His father hated being disturbed while he was working. He’d learnt that the hard way when he was younger. He kissed his mother on the cheek, and decided that sequestering himself in his room for the rest of the evening was a great idea. 

It also meant he could spend it texting without being teased for it. 

He’d been 15 minutes away from Loki and Briana now, and it was 15 minutes too long. A text message wasn’t quite the same, but it’d do. 

As long as his thumb didn’t fall off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much like Thor, I know very little about babies. I know more about foals than I do about the infants of my own species. Not very helpful. So a lot of googling and youtubing went on in the process of writing this chapter! Sorry if I get anything drastically wrong :O. 
> 
> I also know very little about Norway - those places I picked out of a book I have on Norway. Go me!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to any house fans for the crack.... :D

Thor woke up the next morning still fully dressed, splayed out on top of the covers like an idiot. He hadn’t bothered to draw the curtains the night before and so the midday sun shone through the windows like a beacon, making him wonder how the hell he hadn’t woken up earlier. He scrambled for his phone and found it on the floor, and then finally remembered the epic text session he and Loki had had the night before. It had lasted until just past half past two, when Loki confessed that Briana had fallen asleep on him and he was about to do the same. Thor hadn’t even bothered to put his phone down properly before succumbing himself. 

It took him a little over three minutes to remember that he had promised to take Tasha out for lunch. He sprang upright with a startling burst of energy and nearly dropped his phone again as he glanced at it for the time. 11.49am. 

He was fucked. 

*

Tasha liked to cross her arms when she was mad. When situations deemed it necessary, she would cross her legs too, and then if things reached catastrophic levels she would tap her fingers on her arm. All whilst maintaining a deadly calm face. 

Thor could just about see the flames coming out of her ears as he ran up the path to her house. She was waiting outside, leaning against the wall, very pointedly _not_ checking the time on her watch. 

He knew he had to grovel. He dropped to his knees, kicked puppy expression firmly in place, and supplicated. 

“Tasha! I am so, so sorry I swear I didn’t do it on purpose please don’t kill me!” He held his hands up in surrender and closed his eyes as he winced, convinced the end was coming. And he was still so young… 

Tasha tsked. “Christ Thor, all you had to do was text that you’d be late. You owe me dessert to go with that burger now.” She pushed off the wall with her foot and Thor figured it was safe enough to prise one eye open. 

“Am I forgiven?” he asked, worried. 

“Yes, you idiot. I’ll cut your balls off after we get food, I’m starving.”

*

For someone so tiny, Tasha had a prodigious appetite. She demolished two burgers, two servings of fries and a blueberry pie before pinching the rest of Thor’s milkshake. How she stayed so slim was something that Thor hadn’t yet figured out. He was too protective of his pride to ask. 

“Soooo…” Tasha drawled as she picked up a fry and dipped it in Thor’s chocolate milkshake. “What _did_ you two get up to on Friday, hmm?” She raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow. 

Thor had been expecting the question. Unfortunately, he hadn’t yet come up with an answer. He hadn’t asked Loki if he wanted to tell the others yet, and it wasn’t his place to do so without his consent. That left him either lying to Tasha, or telling her he had to keep her in the dark – again. 

Apparently, the awfully long time he was taking to formulate an answer seemed to tell her everything. “Can’t tell me, huh?” she asked, her eyes dark. 

Thor sighed. “Not yet. It’s kinda… private.”

Tasha pursed her lips. “Figured. And here I was thinking you could provide me with some decent gossip for once. It’s getting kinda boring around here.”

“You’re telling me,” Thor agreed, because before Loki had come along there hadn’t been a whole lot to do around the town.

“So, I get to be the first to know, right, when you get permission to speak?” she asked, leaning forward. 

Thor could tell by the deadly glint in her eye that he had no choice but to say yes. “Of course,” he said, and hoped he didn’t sound nervous. 

“Good,” she said dangerously. “I don’t want to run your boxers up the flagpole again.”

“Once was enough,” Thor agreed, and winced at the memory. 

“So,” she said suddenly, putting the milkshake down so hard it nearly spilled all over the table, “what’s happening with Steve and Tony?” She leaned close to him, as if trying to keep their conversation secret. Thor wondered if Tony had finally bugged the burger bar. 

He wasn’t entirely sure how to answer the question. As far as he knew, Tony and Steve hadn’t said anything, and he and Loki had been the only ones to see them make out the night of the party. However, he couldn’t put anything past Tasha. So he asked her, “What do you know?”

She paused a moment before replying. “I know that I saw a certain couple kissing in the garden of Stark Mansion not so long ago. And I happen to know that _you_ and your current bed partner of choice also happened to witness this auspicious occasion. Hence, I feel safe discussing this with you.”

“You saw?!” Thor asked, somewhat surprised because he hadn’t seen her around when they had gone outside. 

“Yep,” she said, with no little satisfaction. 

When she said nothing else, Thor prodded her for more. “Oh fine. Clint was hurling in the bushes and I went to give him a glass of water. That’s why I was in the kitchen when you guys left. I followed you out, not that you probably noticed, you were too concerned with each other.”

Thor blushed at the memory. “Okayyy. You are a ninja, then, apparently. But Steve and Tony… they haven’t said anything to you?”

“To me? No way. I would have thought Tony might have said something to you. Of all of us, you’re probably the closest to him. Our group started with you two.” 

“He hasn’t said anything,” Thor said, and shrunk, just a little, because with all this going on with Loki he had pretty much been ignoring Tony. He felt awful. 

Tasha shrugged. “You’ve been busy making out with Loki, he’s apparently been busy making out with Steve. I think you’ve both been too busy to hang out, apart from school that is. So I wouldn’t feel bad. He knows how you feel about Loki.” She pinched the rest of Thor’s burger. 

“Still… I kinda haven’t been spending much time with you guys.”

“Not true,” Tasha protested. “You hung out with me just last week, remember? We went shopping.”

“No, _you_ went shopping and I held the bags,” Thor reminded her, smiling. 

“Mmm, true. I forgot to buy a few things though, so I’m going again Tuesday after school if you and lover boy want to come.” 

Thor nodded. “I’ll ask him,” he said, and didn’t mention that all depended on whether or not Loki was needed for breastfeeding duties. 

“Good.” Tasha finished the last of the milkshake and stood up. 

“Where are you going?” Thor asked, confused. 

“Well, I promised Clint I’d go see his mom and his newest brother today at the hospital. Wanna come?”

*

And that was how Thor found himself following Tasha down the corridors of their tiny local hospital. It was formally called Harlow Memorial Hospital, after the founder of the town, but was more commonly referred to as The Harry, for some reason that people had long forgotten. There were other names for it too, but they generally weren’t used in public. There was a private hospital too, across town, known as The Pillars because of its grand exterior. Thor couldn’t remember the formal name of the place. He’d never been. 

In the last year The Harry had undergone what had been referred to as a “renovation and face-lift” in the local papers but had turned out to be more of a botched paint job than anything else. The walls had ended up a strange pea-green that made Thor think of puke, and so any opportunity to visit the place left him with a strange, nauseous feeling. 

It was not a very cherry place. 

At least the maternity ward had been spared the puke green. The walls were a bright yellow instead and left Thor wishing he’d brought his sunglasses. Everywhere he looked there were babies, and pregnant women, and he could have sworn he saw a pregnant man – a _duas medietates_ \- behind one curtain, but Tasha was in a hurry and he knew it was rude to stare so he wasn’t quite sure. 

Barton number 5 was tiny, completely bald, and had very pink, scrunched-up face. That didn’t stop Tasha and Clint cooing over him though, and Thor insisted he was “very cute” when it was expected of him. He watched Mrs Barton as she held him adoringly, and all he could think of was Briana and Loki, and he wondered if Briana had looked like that when she was born. But she was so pretty, and so delicate, that he thought she couldn’t have possibly been that scrunched up. 

He almost said something. He almost said that he had thought Briana was small, but this baby, just three days old, was so much tinier and it had put things into perspective for him. At the last second he stopped himself, and Tasha gave him a strange look, but he smiled innocently back and pretended not to know anything. She narrowed her eyes at him but didn’t speak. 

*

“I swear to god if you don’t tell me what’s going on soon I am going to smack you into next year,” she threatened as they were leaving. 

Thor sighed. “I’m sorry, you know I am.”

Tasha made a sound that Thor was pretty sure wasn’t very sympathetic. For a moment his temper flared up, and he wanted to ask why the hell it was so important that _she_ knew, but he stopped himself just in time – both because he didn’t want to make a fuss over it, and also because he knew Tasha knew things about the human body that meant she could hide a dead one very easily. 

He swallowed. “I don’t suppose apologizing again is going to make it better.”

Tasha stopped. “No. I’m sorry. I’ll stop being nosy. For a little while, anyway. I can’t promise it’ll last very long. It’s just… we’re good friends, right? And we’ve always told each other everything. And now that Loki is here, suddenly you’re off doing things with someone else, and we don’t hang out as much anymore, and you’re hiding things from me. It’s just… weird. And I don’t know if I like it.” She shrugged. “Maybe I’m just jealous. I like Loki, I really do, I think I just wasn’t prepared for you to fall over heels for him and to want to spend more time with him.”

Thor felt guilty for the second time that day. First, he had felt bad about Tony, and now he was feeling bad about Tasha. He knew they could look after themselves, and friendship went both ways, but it was true that he hadn’t been spending much time with them lately. The thing was, he’d promised Loki he’d be there for him and Briana, and no matter the long ties he had with Tony and Tasha, Loki and the baby took precedence. He just couldn’t tell them that. 

He wasn’t feeling like a very good friend. 

“Are you ok?” Tasha asked, concerned. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” Thor lied, and faked a smile. “I’m sorry that things have been different lately. We should spend more time together.”

“We should. Now, come on, I’ve got homework to do.”

*

Thor lay on his back on his bed, phone clutched between both hands as they rested on his chest. He’d been in a rather gloomy mood ever since his conversation with Tasha, though he knew that hadn’t been her intention. It was apparent now that he’d been spending so much time with Loki he’d seemingly forgotten about everyone else. 

Now he was just confused. If he went back to spending time as much time with the others as he had before he’d starting dating Loki, then he wouldn’t have much time to spend with Loki – nowhere near as much as he currently was. But he couldn’t _not_ spend time with Loki, considering what he’d promised and also, he thought he was bound to go mad if he didn’t. 

He groaned and turned over to try and suffocate himself with his pillow. 

*

Thor started the next day with a vow to interact a little more with people who weren’t Loki, while at the same time giving Loki the same amount of attention he was already giving him. He wasn’t sure where he was going to find time for this and for his schoolwork, but he figured he didn’t need that much sleep anyway. 

He met Loki on the way to school and walked with him the rest of the way, spending most of the time asking about Briana and trying to organize a good night for dinner that week. He confessed that his father didn’t know about Briana, but Loki seemed to understand and said he wouldn’t mention anything while he was there. Thor hated to ask that of him, but at the same time he knew that he needed a bit of time to “soften” his father up. 

By the time they reached school Thor had been brought up to date on Loki’s attempts to teach Briana how to say “ma-ma” (colossal failure) and they had decided that Thursday was a good night for Loki to come round, as it would give both of them time to steel themselves. Thor was, by now, well acquainted with Loki’s parents, but he suspected his own were going to be a harder nut to crack. 

Clint greeted them both with his usual wink-wink-nudge-nudge humor and made them both groan, while Tasha was a little quieter but perked up when Thor gave her a hug and said they were both keen to go shopping the next day. Tony and Steve arrived in a red, noisy blur in Tony’s sportscar, nearly running over three freshmen in the process. Steve looked a little green when he disembarked and Thor didn’t blame him. He’d been driving with Tony before and had feared for his life. 

As they mingled, waiting for the bell to ring, Thor reflected on the secret that Loki, and now he, held from the rest of them. They had no idea how different Loki’s life was, how different Thor’s life was going to become. They were all concerned about tests and parties and cars while Loki was concerned about caring for someone who depended on him entirely. He tugged Loki closer and kissed his forehead, deciding that for now it was something they could share between the two of them, and let the others worry about themselves. 

*

The day passed in somewhat of a blur, because Thor couldn’t help but feel that the things they were learning about in school just seemed inconsequential compared to the new knowledge that he held. Briana was more important than the Boston Tea Party, more important than cellular division. He was hoping this feeling would be temporary, because he knew how Loki felt about doing well in school, and reminded himself that Loki worked twice as hard as he did to ensure he had good grades – all for Briana’s sake. 

All in all, by the end of the day, he was quite happy to be out of there. 

Loki had to go home to feed Briana, and Thor had to go home and get his homework done before his mother got home, so he could vacuum the car and get rid of the Pop-Tart crumbs he’d kindly left there in the weekend. It was hard to kiss him and let him go, and Thor stood there and watched over Loki as he walked home as long as he could from where he was, but thankfully managed to refrain from making him text him when he got home to ensure he got there ok. He hated to think his mother was rubbing off on him. 

*

His mother was busy in the kitchen the next morning, preparing dinner for later that night, when Thor stumbled downstairs, still in a sleepy hazy. She kissed him on the cheek and made him wince, then made him eggs for breakfast. 

“I’ll be home late today,” he said, only just remembering in time. He didn’t want another lecture. 

“Oh? Where are you going?” his mother asked, turning around. She looked at him as if she knew exactly where he would be, and he had to give her points – she wasn’t far wrong. 

“Shopping. With Tasha and Loki.”

“Ah. I suppose you want your allowance then.”

Thor smiled sheepishly. His father still insisted on giving him money every week, but thankfully no longer referred to it as pocket money. His reasoning was that he didn’t want Thor to get a job because he ought to be concentrating on school work (yeah, that hadn’t worked out so well) and it should stop him from asking for it. Thor usually spent it on comics and action figures, and lunches at the burger bar, so he never turned it down. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled into his toast. 

“Here.”

He looked up, wondering at the small smile on his mother’s face. He took the small roll of notes almost suspiciously, as if it was going to vanish when he had it in his hands. 

“Oh don’t look so worried,” she said, and went back to the dishes. “Count it, if you’re going to be so fussy.”

It was all there, but there was an extra $40, and he couldn’t think why. “What’s this for?” he asked, worried that he’d forgotten about someone’s birthday coming up or something. 

“For you,” his mother said. “Buy that boy of yours something nice. Or his daughter,” she added, and Thor wasn’t stupid, he realized that she had intended it to be for Briana all along. 

“I thought you didn’t want me spending money on Briana,” he said, confused. 

“Oh, I didn’t say that, darling. That much money won’t go far when there’s a baby involved. Now, if you spent that _and_ all of your normal allowance on her, I would be concerned. But I trust you to make the right choice. And I suspect you would have bought her something anyway.” She wiped her hands on a dishcloth and came to sit down beside Thor at the table. “Also…” She sighed. “I’ve had a few days to think about this, you know. I remember what you said, about wanting to try. And Thor… even if your father, when he finds out, choses to be unsupportive, then I will be here, no matter what. I just ask, that I get to fawn over her every now and again,” she said, a smile blossoming on her face, and Thor remembered saying to Farbauti on the weekend that his mother had been desperate for another baby, but it just hadn’t happened. He wondered what Briana could mean to her. An entirely new avenue opened for him, for them, and he realized that Loki having Briana meant so much to more than just him – it was, of course, going to affect his parents as well. And if his mother had decided to support him, support _them_ , then he was not going to turn it down. 

“Thanks mom,” he said, hearing his voice crack, just a little, and putting down his cutlery he swept her up in a hug, making her laugh. 

“Two hugs in less than a week,” she said into his ear. “I think this whole thing has been somewhat of a good influence on you!”

*

Thor carried the money in his pocket all day, carefully checking it every now and again just to make sure it was still there. Loki gave him a strange look as he checked it for the umpteenth time that day, and Thor just smiled and pulled Loki into his arms. 

Clint said they were breaking PDA rules, but Thor didn’t care. 

*

They had planned to meet Tasha outside school after the bell, but when they came to their usual meeting place she was nowhere in sight.

“Maybe she forgot,” Loki said, concerned. 

“Nah Tasha doesn’t forget anything. She’s like an elephant,” Thor reassured him. 

“Do I _look_ like an elephant to you?” came a disgruntled voice from above them, and they looked up to see Tasha sitting in a tree. “I would have thought I was more like a gazelle.” She swung down and landed lightly in front of them. 

“A monkey?” Thor offered, and took the swat to his arm in good humor. 

“Shut up, Thor Odinson,” she said affectionately. She pulled Thor towards her with one hand and grabbed Loki’s with another. “Now, are we going shopping, or what?”

*

Clint’s mother was home from hospital, so he had gone straight home to help look after her. Thor had asked both Steve and Tony to come with them, but both had declined and said something about remedial tutoring. He was pretty sure neither of them needed remedial tutoring, but didn’t push the issue. He had asked Tony about hanging out together on Wednesday night, maybe a movie, like they used to do, and Tony’s face had lit up like a Christmas tree before he’d even had the chance to say yes, so Thor was glad he had. He was looking forward to spending some time with Tony again – as much as he loved to be with Loki, he missed Tony’s sense of humor and deadpan wit. 

“Right, I am flipping STARVING,” Tasha said, when they arrived. She steered them towards a row of eateries, and despite having demolished half of the cafeteria at lunch Thor’s stomach began to rumble again. “What are we having?” 

They settled on Subway, each choosing a footlong, though Thor had to glare at Loki until he changed his from a 6 inch. Loki managed to completely destroy his sub, which only served to prove to Thor that Loki didn’t eat nearly as much as he ought to. He even bought Loki a bag of cookies afterwards, and tucked them into his bag without responding to his protests. 

Thor’s favorite shop at the mall was the record store. He had spent countless hours in there, drooling over records and albums and cds, and had become firm friends with the owner, Phil. Phil was a diehard metalhead and shared Thor’s love of all things heavy, and always let him know about new music. Thor hadn’t yet succumbed to the ease of downloading, preferring to be able to hold an album in his hand and read the liner notes, and for him, the love had never faded. 

Loki took to the place like a cat in cream. They flicked through cds together, sharing their opinions and reviews, and Loki convinced Thor to try Gothminister while Thor made him buy the latest Five Finger Death Punch. Tasha just screwed up her nose when she saw what they had bought. 

“Don’t mind her,” Thor said to Loki as they left the store. “She listens to house.”

Loki snorted and Tasha flung them a haughty look from over her shoulder. “At least the covers on my cds don’t scare small children.”

Thor made a face at her back. 

“I saw that.”

*

Tasha wanted to buy a present for Clint’s mom, Angela. She led the way to a store that specialized in things for mothers and babies, and Thor practically saw Loki’s eyes light up. 

“I didn’t realize this was here,” Loki whispered. “I’ve been buying stuff off the internet!”

Thor chuckled. “You could have asked!”

“Yeah, well, awkward question!”

Tasha left them to it, apologizing for making them wait in a baby store, not realizing that Loki was practically salivating to have a look. He made a beeline towards the clothing section, and Thor followed obediently. 

There were rows and rows of little dresses, and shirts and pants and jerseys, and Thor wouldn’t have known what to look at. But Loki clearly knew his way around a baby store, and was flicking through dresses in Briana’s size within minutes. 

“They’re pretty,” Thor remarked, startling Loki who was so engrossed in his task he hadn’t realized Thor was even behind him. 

“Oh. Yeah, they are. But…” Loki sighed and reluctantly let a dress he was looking at drop back down to swing cheerfully. “I have other things I should be buying. She really has enough clothes.”

“Enough clothes? But not enough pretty dresses by the sounds of it,” Thor said. 

Loki shrugged. “They are nice. But they aren’t really necessary. She goes through a lot of diapers,” he said, smiling ruefully. He turned to continue looking around. 

“That brand is two for one,” Thor pointed out, tilting his head towards a sign perched on top of the rows of clothes. “Good deal.”

“Yeah. I suppose, but -”

“I’ll buy them for you,” Thor interrupted. “Just chose the ones you want.”

Loki just stared at him for a moment. “What?”

“I said I’ll pay for them,” Thor said, and smiled. He held up the dress Loki had been holding, a pretty pink-striped dress with colorful flowers. “I think this would look beautiful on her.”

Loki took it slowly off the rack. “Are you sure?” he asked slowly, as if he wanted Thor to say ‘yes’, but at the same time didn’t want to put him out. 

“Yeah,” Thor said, and kissed his cheek. “I did tell you I would be there for her, remember?”

For a moment, Thor thought he could see glistening tears in Loki’s eyes, but then Loki blinked and he was smiling and Thor couldn’t be sure anymore. “Thank you,” Loki said, in a voice that sounded a little choked, and Thor just rubbed his shoulder and let him be. 

Loki chose the striped dress and a blue and white dress, and then Thor made him choose a couple of headbands to match. He could just about see Briana in them and thought she’d be the cutest thing on earth. He was totally turning into a softy. 

Thor held the dresses and the headbands as Loki shopped for what he needed, which turned out to be a bunch of stuff that both fascinated Thor and confused him. 

“’Breast pads’?!” Thor asked, reading from the side of a box that Loki had given him to hold. 

“Yeah.” Loki bent down and inspected a shelf of nipple balm. Thor inwardly cringed when he realized what they were for. Loki found the one he was looking for and added it to the pile. He noticed Thor’s expression. “Breastfeeding isn’t always the most comfortable thing in the world,” he said. “And going six hours without feeding at school can sometimes mean it overflows.”

Thor just gaped and decided that this was all well and truly beyond his grasp of reality. “I’m not sure how much more I need to know,” he confessed delicately. 

Loki snorted again, and headed for the diapers. “That’s babies for you.”

By the time they made it to the counter, Loki had added nappy rash cream, baby wipes and 3 packets of diapers to the pile. He made sure to divide it, clothes in one pile and everything else in another, and Thor saw what he was doing. He pushed everything together, ignoring Loki’s protests. 

“How much?” he asked the store’s owner, who was peering between the two of them like she couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. She rung it up and Thor passed over the money before Loki could even reach for his wallet. He felt Loki’s hand digging into his skin at his hip and resolutely ignored it while the lady bagged their purchases. 

“You shouldn’t do that,” Loki said as soon as they were out of the door. “I had money, I can pay for what I need.” He sounded a little irritated, and for the first time Thor realized that he might not have appreciated the gesture quite as much as he would have thought. 

Thor knew he was in trouble. “Uh, sorry?” he said, wincing, as they stopped and waited for Tasha. “But really, I wanted to pay for that for you.”

Loki huffed, and then sighed. “I know. But… I’m not completely hopeless. I can pay for what Briana needs, even if it isn’t always pretty dresses and headbands. I love the clothes, and thank you for them, but you don’t always need to do everything for us.” 

Thor felt suitably chastised. “I’m sorry, really. I didn’t realize… I didn’t really think.” It wasn’t the first time. “But I want to buy stuff for you, and help you. If I ask next time… can I keep doing it?” He thought he might have been pushing it with the last part, but his pleading must have worked because Loki softened and relaxed. 

“Yes. Ok. Just… ask first?” he asked softly, and leaned in to kiss the end of Thor’s nose.

Thor couldn’t say no to that.

“God, I can’t take you two anywhere,” Tasha said jokingly as she came out of the store burdened down with a few bags of her own. “What the heck did you two buy in there?” she asked, spying their bags. 

Thor bit his lip. It was a legitimate question but he wasn’t sure what he could say that wouldn’t sound made up or just plain stupid. They hadn’t really been thinking when they’d bought so much. 

“My mom asked me to get a few things for my sister,” Loki explained smoothly, not going into detail before he suggested they all got a soda before they headed home. 

Tasha agreed, but Thor knew her too well to think they’d gotten off scot-free. Tasha was one of the most perceptive people he knew, and he could just about see the cogs in her head start to turn. Of all of them, she was going to be the one to figure it all out first. 

It seemed that Thor was going to have to talk to Loki about telling the others sooner than he had hoped. 

*

He followed Loki home, holding the bags, banking on having at least another half an hour before he was expected home. Farbauti greeted him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and another invitation to stay for dinner, but he’d already promised his mother he’d be home. Briana was in her high chair playing with bits of pasta and squealed when she saw Loki and Thor, throwing her little fists up into the air so pasta went everywhere. 

Thor dodged a spiral and laid the bags down on the floor, watching as Loki picked Briana up and kissed her until she laughed. Ane was folding washing on the couch, and Loki carried Briana over to see her. Thor watched with a spark of jealousy as they shared a hug, wondering what it was like to be so close to a grandparent. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen his grandparents, and those occasions had usually consisted of awkward conversations and pats on the cheek. 

Farbauti hummed cheerfully behind him, picking up the bits of uneaten pasta that Briana had flung around the room. Their house just seemed so warm and alive and inviting – he loved his mom, he loved his dad, despite that he was away so often, but their home seemed so empty compared to Loki’s. 

He couldn’t nurture the jealousy for long though, because it was impossible to feel bad in such a place, especially when they were so keen to share it with them. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy to leave. 

He helped Farbauti pick up the rest of the pasta and by then Loki was back, pretending to dance with Briana in the kitchen as he sang something melodic in Norwegian. Thor recognized the tune, because his mother used to sing it to him when he was younger, but that was a long time ago and he’d long forgotten the lyrics – not that he’d known what they meant, anyway. 

Loki stopped in front of him and Thor reached for Briana, tucking her into his hip carefully, and then reached for Loki’s waist. Loki fell into him gently, leaning against him as he cooed at Briana. Farbauti moved around them as she finished dinner, only stopping to gently shoo them out as she prepared to serve. 

“Are you sure you can’t stay? There’s more than enough to go around,” she implored, and Thor was tempted – so very, very tempted – but he knew his mother had made dinner and would be waiting for him, and so he had to politely – and reluctantly – decline again. 

“Well, you’re welcome any time you like,” she said, and Thor very nearly changed his mind. 

Thankfully for his mother’s temper Loki touched his elbow and Thor grabbed his bag with one hand as they walked outside. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stay,” Thor said. 

“Me too,” Loki said simply, and Thor kissed him softly, hand tight on his waist. Loki laughed into Thor’s mouth as Briana reached out for their cheeks, inquisitively poking them with her fingers as she watched them, until Thor nipped Loki’s lower lip and kissed him one last time on his nose. 

“She’s learning bad habits,” Thor said, chuckling, and squeezed Briana gently until she laughed. 

“It’s my mom, I swear!” Loki insisted, but his smile gave it all away. 

“Yeah right,” Thor teased. “You can’t pass the blame on this one.”

Loki pouted. “Well, I suppose…”

Thor’s mouth ran in front of his brain. “How is your mom?” 

Loki looked confused at the question, and Thor didn’t blame him. He wasn’t planning on asking, it just came out. Brain-to-mouth filter malfunction. 

“She’s fine… Thor, you just saw her inside before!”

“Yeah, I know, I’m sorry… it’s just, do you remember the first time I met her? It was just before Tony’s party. She looked… different, I guess. Tired. Now she doesn’t.”

Loki sighed. “I know. My dad nearly lost his job. It was really stressing her out. My dad, he’s as stoic as anything, he wasn’t going to let anything show. But if he lost his job we might have lost the house and then…” he trailed off. Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “The company was restructuring and they didn’t know if he could keep his job. But they just got everything sorted back in Norway and he’s got a slightly different job now but he’s still got one.”

“Shit,” Thor said eloquently. “I’m sorry – that must have been hard.”

Loki shrugged. “Yeah. But my mom told me not to worry about it, things would work out and I had Briana to worry about anyway. I think she took most of the strain. Her job’s permanent, but we couldn’t have lived off it alone.”

Thor squeezed his shoulder. “I’m glad that his job’s ok now.”

“Me too,” Loki said, with no little relief. “I don’t know what we would have done if he’d lost it. Not many jobs around here.”

Thor kissed the top of his head. “Try not to worry. It won’t help anything.”

“Yeah. I know. You’re right. It’s done now anyway.”

Briana was obviously getting bored and started to grizzle. Loki took her from Thor and she settled a little, but she was probably hungry. Thor bent forward to kiss her goodbye. 

“Oh hey… I know this probably isn’t the best time, but… did you want to tell the others at some point? About Briana? I haven’t said anything, by the way,” Thor added. 

Loki bit his lip. “I don’t know. I don’t know what they’ll do… I really like them, I don’t really want to put them off,” he said somewhat jokingly, but Thor couldn’t hear any humor in his voice. He was genuinely worried. 

“Hey don’t worry – they’ll be sweet about it, really. Trust me. I’ve known them for years. You might have to put up with a bit of teasing but they do that no matter what. Anyway, I’m happy to punch anyone who has a problem.” Thor wasn’t joking. 

Loki smiled, and Thor was relieved to see it was genuine. He nodded slowly and then spoke. “Then I guess, yeah, at some point. I don’t know how or when though…” He sighed. “Not everyone gets… _this_.”

“I know. It’ll be ok. But if you don’t want too, that’s cool. I just think that maybe Tasha is slowly figuring it out.”

“She’s too smart for her own good,” Loki said dryly. “If she figures it out, she figures it out… I trust Tasha, I think. She’s honest.”

“She is,” Thor agreed. “She won’t say anything behind your back or if you don’t want her to. She’s a good friend.”

“She is,” Loki agreed. “I like Tasha. She says what she says and doesn’t care. It’s… refreshing.”

Thor chuckled. “That’s Tasha for you.”

Briana was getting bored and started tugging on Loki’s hair. “I’d better take her inside. Text me later, ok?” Loki said, an eyebrow raised. 

“Don’t I always?” Thor teased. 

“Good point,” Loki said, though half of it was lost in their kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Thor kissed Briana one last time and then, in the growing dusk, started for home. 

*

He was just a few blocks away from home when a car pulled up beside him. He knew who it was in the corner of eye before it even stopped, and he didn’t hesitate to hop in. 

“That’s not the way home from school,” his dad said as he pulled away from the curb. 

“I know. I was at Loki’s.”

“Ah. The elusive Loki. When do I get to meet him?”

“Thursday.”

“Thursday?”

“Yeah. Mom invited him around for dinner.”

“Good,” his dad said, and Thor didn’t like the sound of that at all. 

“You aren’t going to interrogate him or something are you?” he asked suspiciously.

“Me? I would have thought your mother would have done that already.”

“She’s only met him once and we weren’t dating then.”

“Great. Then we can do it together.”

“DAD!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the dress that Thor bought for Briana: http://www.carters.com/null/FLORAL-STRIPED-SUNDRESS-SET/887044163775,default,pd.html?cgid=oshkosh-baby-girl-dresses-and-rompers&start= (hopefully that works!). The other dress is here: http://www.carters.com/oshkoshbgosh/Crinkle-Cotton-Lawn-Dress/VC_431A046,default,pd.html?navid=oshkosh-xsellPDPYMAL


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ALIVE!!!!
> 
> No, seriously, 10,000 apologies for the 5 months or so it has taken to get this up :(. Real life has been kicking my butt. But I have finished my undergrad degree and got the results I needed to get into post-grad next year so I am pretty thrilled and hopefully this good mood will result in more fics! Or at least, more regular updates... *gulp*. Having said that, I have a job and farm animals to contend with, but I will try and kick my own butt a little harder to get more done. 
> 
> I just want to reiterate that this fic is not, and never will be, abandoned... because it lives in my head all day every day, and the only way to get it out is to write it down. I am always thinking about how to proceed and ideas and things I want to see happen... not all of it makes it, of course, but I can categorically state that this fic has done a 180 from my original idea. Which is why I have heavily edited the tags and removed the ones that are no longer applicable (I may add more in the future). I have actually sat down and - how sad is this - put together a journal that is helping me keep track of everything and all the ideas I have. Bring it on, is all I can say! haha. 
> 
> I want to say thank you too - despite my poor efforts at updating, people are still reading and leaving kudos etc. This is like lifeblood for an author! So THANK YOU and I hope this fic carries on ok considering this particular chapter has literally taken 5 months to write (so I hope there are no major plotholes or inconsistencies in plot or writing!).

The next evening, Thor and Tony shunned the recent releases at their local cinema in favor of a random showing of _The Lost Boys_. It was one of those movies that Thor had seen so often he knew the script backwards, forwards and upside down – and given that the theater was empty, save for them, he and Tony spent most of the time yelling the lines at the screen and singing along to the soundtrack. They left the theater with flushed cheeks, laughing and sharing grins, and Thor remembered why they had spent so many evenings together just hanging out and having fun. His parents had despaired at his relationship with Tony – they hadn’t thought him a good influence – but had given up eventually and just sighed whenever he announced he was going to Tony’s yet _again_. Then, when Tony’s mother died, Frigga was the first person to comfort him, and after that, Tony spent just as much time at their house as Thor did at his. 

“I missed this,” Thor admitted, as they walked down the road, hands deep in the pockets of their jackets.

“Me too,” Tony said. “How’s Loki?” he asked with a wink, and nudged Thor with his elbow. 

Thor blushed. “Loki is good. You saw him today, anyway.”

“Yeah, I know. But you’re the one fucking him.”

“No kidding.”

“Wait, you _are_ the only one fucking him, right? He doesn’t have anyone else on the side? Older guy, maybe the mailman?”

“The _mailman_? What the hell, Tony?”

“Hey, you never know. You wanna hotdog?”

Thor never turned down food.

*

“So, seriously, what’s it like?” Tony asked through a mouthful of bread and hotdog. 

“What’s what like?”

“You know…” Tony leaned in closer. “The sex,” he said, practically whispering. 

Thor wanted to bury his head in the table. “We are so not talking about that here.” 

“Why not?”

“Because it’s a _public_ place Tony, if you hadn’t noticed! And why do you need to know about our sex life anyway?”

“Because we’re good friends, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, so tell me.”

“No.”

Tony whined. “Thor! Tell me,” he whinged.

Thor had no intention of telling Tony anything. “I’m not telling you.”

“Oh come on!” Tony kicked him under the table. 

“You didn’t tell me about Steve so why should I tell you about Loki?” Thor said, before he could stop and think.

Tony stopped eating. Thor thought it was perhaps the first time he’d ever seen him speechless. If he could have taken the moment back he would have, and said something else instead, but now that it was done he was curious as to what Tony would say. 

“What about me and Steve?” Tony said very slowly. 

Thor sighed. He didn’t like lying to Tony, or any of his friends for that matter. He put down his dinner. “Me and Loki… we saw you and Steve after the party. By the pond. Sorry. We didn’t mean too.”

There was a pause and Tony didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at Thor either. “Oh,” he said, very quietly. Thor was a little concerned. This was very unlike Tony. After all, he could count on the fingers of one elbow the amount of times he’d seen Tony lost for words. 

“I’m sorry, Tony.”

“I know.” Tony sighed. “Steve… doesn’t want anyone to know yet. He’s just figuring it out, I guess.”

“That must be hard for you.” Thor knew what his friend was like. 

“Are you kidding?” Tony exclaimed, finally becoming more like the animated Tony that Thor knew. “I would be standing on this damn table telling the world if I could.”

Thor laughed, because he could imagine Tony doing just that. “And what, put up a billboard down the main street?”

“Maybe!”

“Yeah, I can see why Steve wants to stay silent,” Thor pointed out dryly. 

Tony sighed. “I know. But still… it sucks when you two get to make out like idiots at school and I have to keep my hands off Steve.”

“Tony, you never could take your hands off Steve anyway.”

“Yeah, well, you know what I mean.”

They finished the rest of their food in silence, though Tony threw out a hand to stop Thor when he started to rise from the table. 

“You won’t tell anyone, right?” Tony said seriously, his face suddenly pinched and worried. “Steve would kill me.”

Thor figured that Tony was probably more worried about Steve being concerned at all their reactions more than about whether or not he’d kill him, but kept it to himself. “You know I wouldn’t tell anyone,” he said to Tony. “Under pain of death.”

Tony seemed satisfied. “Good. You tell anyone, I tell everyone sordid details of you and Loki’s sex life.”

Thor stopped. “What the hell? I haven’t _told_ you any _sordid_ details!”

Tony smirked. “I have an over-active imagination. I can make stuff up.”

Thor rolled his eyes. “I bet you can,” he said under his breath, and stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets. 

From the way Tony had started chuckling from beside him, he guessed he’d heard. “Wanna hear some?” he teased brazenly, nudging Thor with an elbow. 

“I think I’ll pass,” Thor replied dryly. “Save it for Playboy or dodgy internet forums or something.”

Tony pushed him out the door. “I do not read such vile filth,” he declared, and stuck his nose up into the air. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, Tony. I’ve seen what you keep under your bed.”

Tony looked shocked. “You won’t tell Steve, will you?”

“I think it’s a bit late for that. C’mon Tony, it’s not like Steve thinks you’re as pure as the driven snow anyway.”

Tony gasped dramatically and asked, “Why would anyone think I am not?” 

Thor didn’t bother to reply, and settled for raising an eyebrow. 

“Hmmph. Fine. Anyway, speaking of all things pure, what is the deal with Loki?”

Thor’s eyebrows meet halfway up his forehead. “What are you talking about?”

“Well… guy turns up in the middle of the semester, from Alaska of all damn places, kicks everyone’s ass and makes it to the top of all his classes within a month despite missing out on over half the year, oh, and hooks up with you before you can say ‘suspicious behavior’.”

“What in the hell is suspicious about _that_?”

Tony shrugged. “I may have been watching too many movies.”

“No shit.”

“Well, I mean, what have you learnt about him that he hasn’t told the rest of us? You’re doing the horizontal tango just about every time you see him, so he must have told you things.”

Thor hoped that Tony wouldn’t notice the way his face was surely paling. Loki had told him things, of course, things that were private and that he wasn’t going to tell anyone else, not least of all Tony, who had a mouth the size of a black hole. He was faced with another of these social dilemmas that his mother often liked to talk about, stuck between loyalty to Loki, his boyfriend, and loyalty to Tony, one of his best friends for years. He sighed. 

“What?” Tony nudged him again. 

“I’m not gonna tell you stuff like that, Tony,” Thor said, feeling his happy mood from earlier dissipate. “Not unless he tells me I can.”

“So there _is_ stuff?” Tony asked perkily.

“Of course there is.”

“But you won’t tell me.”

“No. But if it’s any consolation, I won’t tell anyone else either.”

Tony blew out through his teeth. “Fine. I can deal with that. But at least make him add me on Facebook so I can stalk him on there.”

“Loki doesn’t have Facebook.”

Tony stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. It took a few moments for Thor to notice and he had to stop and backtrack. 

“What do you mean, ‘he doesn’t have Facebook’?” Tony asked suspiciously. “Everybody has Facebook these days. Everybody,” he dragged out slowly, enunciating each syllable. “Even if you are the worst person in the world for updating”. 

Turning away again, Thor shrugged. “Loki just doesn’t. I didn’t ask why.”

“Wow,” Tony said, after a pause. “Intriguing.”

If this was a few months ago, Thor might have sympathized with him, or told him to get the hell over it, but for some reason, he didn’t want to fight over something that had to do with Loki. “Just drop it,” he said peacefully, and started walking again. He didn’t have to look back to know Tony was pouting. 

“I still think it all sounds suspicious!” Tony called from behind him. 

Thor threw up the finger over his shoulder. 

*

Thor woke up nervous the next morning. He felt the butterflies before he remembered the reason why, and he had to drag himself out of bed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Loki to come around for dinner, not at all, rather that he was worried his parents would take the whole ‘interrogation’ thing way too far. His mom would probably be ok, but would likely shoehorn in a couple of barely-disguised awkward questions or spend most of the time attempting to regale Loki with embarrassing stories of Thor’s youth. His father… well, that seemed to be most of the problem. He didn’t _know_ how his father was going to react, and that made things difficult. He couldn’t prematurely think up any escape routes or outs, simply because he didn’t know what his father was going to do. 

He had brought home boyfriends before. But they had meant nothing compared to Loki, been casual relationships with a little bit of sex – ‘long-term commitment’ was something that happened to other people. His parents hadn’t seemed to care too much, perhaps because the “relationships” were so casual that it might not have even been noticeable to them that their son was dating the boy he’d brought home for dinner. 

With Loki, everything was different. It still amazed Thor, every now and again, to think how quickly his life had changed in such a short period of time. His mother was right, he barely knew Loki – it had been what, 4, 5 weeks? – but there was something there that he had never felt before, that simultaneously scared and excited him. He figured he was too young and naïve yet to know what love was, but if he ever had to describe it, he thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to make a pretty good go of it. 

So as he changed and showered and brushed his teeth, he tried not to overthink, tried not to imagine disastrous scenarios that all ended with his father yelling at him and Loki fleeing in tears. 

Let no-one say he didn’t have a decent imagination. 

*

He went out of his way to walk Loki to school again, holding his hand and not giving a damn about the strange looks they sometimes got from other pedestrians or drivers going by. Loki didn’t seem as nervous as he about dinner that night, and if he noticed Thor’s anxiousness, he didn’t say. It didn’t take for most of that anxiousness to abate, because it was hard to be strung out with Loki’s soft smile that was just for him, and the gentle brush of his finger over his palm as they held hands. 

By the time they made it to school, Thor had managed to relax a little. So relaxed that he didn’t even tense up as he asked Loki if he wanted to come straight round after school or if he had to go home. He was very proud of himself. 

“I have to go feed Briana, but after that I can come around whenever,” Loki said, speaking softly so they weren’t overheard. “You can come with me? Only if you like,” he added, biting his lip as if he wanted Thor to say yes but didn’t want to make him think he had to. 

It didn’t matter though. “Yes,” Thor said, before Loki could add anything else. “I want to see her again.”

Loki’s face lit up like a fireworks display. “Great,” he said, almost breathless, so pleased that Thor could see how hard he was trying not to grin like the Cheshire Cat. “That’s awesome.”

Really not caring that they were still standing outside of school and the bell had gone so students were everywhere, walking to homeroom, Thor bent down and felt that grin against his lips as they kissed. 

*

Thor had never seen Tony as worried and as anxious as he was when he and Loki found the others later that day. Steve was huddled close to Tony, looking concerned, but Tony was in his _I can’t talk to anyone right now_ mood and Thor knew not even Steve could help right then – because it was _about_ Steve – and then he was back being one of Tony’s closest friends again, making up an excuse (that didn’t fly, but Loki and Steve let them go without a question, because they were pretty awesome sometimes) to drag Tony out of there and around the corner, where he promptly reassured Tony that his lips were sealed and he hadn’t even told Loki. And, as he pointed out to Tony, he was kinda getting into the habit of telling Loki _everything_.

Tony just about died with relief right next to that wall and Thor was worried for a moment he’d have to do CPR. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have doubted you, but I kinda had this dream and…” Tony’s hands were on his knees, and he was looking at the floor, not at Thor, but he’d been through this enough with Tony to know not to press him. 

“I’m not gonna tell, Tony. Besides, how many things do you know about me that you could tell Loki and embarrass the hell out of me?” Thor asked, hoping terribly that a bit of humor could help, because he wasn’t as good at these sorts of things as he’d like. 

It seemed to work though, because Tony straightened up and gave him a shaky smile, and Thor could see the relief etched in his eyes. 

“You’re right,” Tony said, and each word sounded a little stronger, a little less wobbly. “I could completely tell him about the time you used to drag that purple dinosaur toy of yours around and –“

Thor clobbered him on the back of the head. “No, Tony. Bad Tony,” he said, nearly pointing a finger. “We said we would never talk about that in public.”

“Then you’ll be good to remember that,” Tony said with a wink, and pushed past him and back to the others. 

“Thor hit me,” he could hear Tony say to them. 

“Good,” Tasha said. 

*

Loki practically dragged him home after school, but Thor didn’t protest, just followed dutifully and smiled. He was glad that Loki didn’t seem worried about dinner, though for a brief second he wondered about warning him just in case. After weighing up the case for and against, he decided that he really didn’t want to put Loki off. And his mother had promised, just that morning, to make sure that his dad behaved. She had made no such promises of her own, however… 

Thor had been to Loki’s house enough times now to feel a little at home when he walked through the door. Neither Farbauti nor Laufey were home from work yet, and they wouldn’t be for a while, but Ane had been baking spice cookies and they were cooling on the bench, making Thor’s mouth water almost embarrassingly quickly. He had to swallow before it betrayed him and exited down his chin instead. 

Much to his surprise he got a hug from Ane straight after Loki, and though this would normally be cause for mortification – getting a hug from someone else’s grandparent when you barely knew your own? – he found himself smiling instead and returning it. 

“ _Du er så høye_ ,” she murmured, giving him a smile as she climbed down from the edge of her tippy toes and bustled through to the kitchen. 

Thor must have looked confused because Loki grinned and leaned in close to him. “She said you’re too tall,” he whispered, and gave Thor a sharp pat on his hip. 

All Thor could do was grin sheepishly and mumble a ‘thanks’ as a plate full of cookies was shoved in front of him. 

*

Briana was entertaining herself in a bouncer in the living room, securely strapped in as she laughed at and batted at the soft animals strung up on the toy bar in front of her. 

“Best thing we ever bought,” Loki muttered under his breath at Thor. “Entertains her for hours. She can have a screaming tantrum but stops as soon as we put her on.”

“The screaming tantrums sound like fun,” Thor said, inwardly cringing. He knew that Briana couldn’t possibly be an angel _all_ of the time. Well, apart from the times when she liked to shove her hand in his face or pull on his hair. Or stand on his groin. That was fun. 

“You have _noooo_ idea…” The look on Loki’s face told Thor everything he needed to know. This house probably wasn’t the best place to be when Briana decided that things weren’t going her way. 

She looked gorgeous and sweet right now though, bursting into a huge smile as Loki sat down next to her. Thor recognised the dress she was wearing as the pink-striped sundress he’d bought for her earlier that week, and he was glad to see that she fit it so well, with a little room left over for growth. She was wearing a yellow headband too, one of the ones Loki had chosen.

“How does she do it?” Thor asked, as he knelt down to sit next to Loki. 

“Huh? Who?” Loki asked, a little absentmindedly as he played with Briana. 

“Your grandmother. Ane. The house is perfectly clean, the baby is too, there are cookies on the bench. It’s like something out of _Good Housekeeping_.” He paused for a moment. “My mom said that when I was a baby, she would be at home all day with me and going nuts because I would be screaming and the house was a mess and she hadn’t done the washing and dad expected dinner on the table when he got home and she could never get anything done.”

Loki laughed softly. “I don’t know how she does it, really,” he said, looking up at Thor. Briana’s fingers were wrapped tightly around his hand. “My mom just says she had lots of practice. My mom helps out too, so do I, and my dad. We share it all, I guess. Plus Briana can be pretty good. She can sit in here for a few hours pretty happily. But yeah,” he said, and sighed, “There’s no way I could be doing all of this on my own.”

Thor’s hand reached under Loki’s shirt to rub his hip. “You have an amazing family,” he whispered, and leaned forward to kiss Loki’s cheek. Briana was watching and giggled, making Loki smile. 

“Yeah, yeah I do,” Loki murmured, and slid a hand up onto Thor’s shoulder. “I have a pretty amazing boyfriend too.” 

“He’s more than amazing, I think,” Thor mused. “He’s incredibly good looking, smart, nice, pretty good at just about everything, I even heard that –”

Loki grinned and shut him up with a kiss. “Idiot,” he murmured quietly against Thor’s lips. 

“Not according to my mother,” Thor said cheekily. 

Loki pressed his lips together as he tried not to laugh, and shook his head. “Come on. I need to change her before I feed her.”

“Uh… diaper… change?” Thor asked tentatively. 

“Diaper change,” Loki said firmly. He stood up and bent over the bouncer, undoing the straps that stopped Briana from bouncing right out. She cooed and held out her arms so Loki could grasp her, and he lifted her gently and pressed her against his shoulder. From behind him, Thor saw her face peer at him over Loki’s shoulder, and as he watched she screwed her face up at him. He resisted the urge to poke out his tongue. 

“I’m just gonna change her, Mor-mor!” Loki called out. Ane replied in Norwegian from somewhere in the house, probably busying herself with more chores. 

Thor followed Loki down the hallway and into the nursery. 

“Have you ever looked after a baby before?” Loki asked as he lay Briana down on the changing table. 

Thor shook his head. “Never changed a diaper, if that’s what you mean.”

He couldn’t be sure about it, but just for a split second, Loki’s grin looked a little wicked. He shifted from one foot to the other, suddenly quite sure that he was about to get a lesson. 

Loki didn’t disappoint him. “I won’t make you do everything. Just watch and learn,” he said, probably thinking he was being reassuring while Thor was practically quaking in his boots. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for this part of looking after a baby. 

Briana seemed perfectly happy, and lay there kicking up her feet as Loki tried to settle her so he could pull down the little yellow shorts that covered her diaper. She squealed at Loki a few times before he won and she gave in. 

Loki was efficient. Thor thought that was the best way to describe it. He had the diaper off and Briana wiped practically before he could blink, and then there was nappy rash cream and powder and then suddenly Briana was in a fresh new diaper and cooing and clapping her hands and Loki had finished.

“What… just happened?” Thor asked slowly. 

Loki looked confused. “What do you mean? Which part?”

“The whole part.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Next time, would you like me to go slower?” He smirked. 

“You’re like a one-man production line.”

“Yeah, well, lots of practice.”

“You aren’t expecting me to do it like that, are you?”

“I’ll give you one or two goes before I expect that,” Loki said, hardly reassuring him. “I’ll even give you extra points if you have to deal with an explosion.”

“Expl… what?!”

The grin he got in return was practically diabolical. “All it takes is for her to eat one thing she doesn’t like.”

Thor paled. “I didn’t sign up for this.”

“Oh, I think you did! Here.” Loki picked up Briana and held her out to Thor, who took her carefully. “I’m just going to wash my hands.”

Thor nodded, concentrating too hard on not dropping her – he didn’t think that would go down so well – to even open his mouth. She peered at him open mouthed, as if slightly in shock, not sure why it needed to be Thor that held her. He thought she was being rather picky. 

“Mommy’ll be back. I promise, you won’t be stuck with me forever,” he whispered, though it seemed to do little to ease her fears. She looked just as suspicious as ever. He rocked her gently, almost too scared to actually move, but the longer he held her the easier it all became. He started walking quietly to the bedroom, grateful that Loki had at least left the door open so he didn’t have to multi-task. 

He felt damp spread through his shirt and turned to see her drool onto his shoulder, her face bright and innocent. He narrowed his eyes. “I know what you’re doing. You can’t fool me.”

“Are you threatening my baby?” Loki asked mildly, as he walked into the bedroom. He may have spoken softly but Thor was under no illusions that Loki would probably have no problems with slightly maiming or perhaps even killing anyone who hurt his baby. 

“No,” he said quickly. “She’s drooling on my shoulder.”

Loki made a face. “Sorry, I should have given you a cloth. She does that.” He closed the door behind him and climbed onto the bed. “Can you hold her for two more seconds?”

“Sure,” Thor agreed. He hoisted her up tighter on his shoulder. “One… two!”

Loki gave him a faux exasperated look and pretended to throw a pillow at him. Thor laughed and moved quickly, making Briana squeal with delight. 

“Oh, you like that?” Thor practically cooed at her, just about making him stop with the realisation that he’d finally succumbed to near-baby language. He didn’t think he would descend to motherese or baby-talk, but it was a slippery slope from here, wasn’t it?

On the bed, Loki had his shirt off and was reclining against the pillows, one arm out for Briana. Thor lowered her gently, but she figured out what was happened about halfway through the procedure and just about tried to leap out of his arms. 

“She’s feisty.”

“Feeding time’ll do that to a baby,” Loki mused, stroking her head as he made sure she’d latched on properly. “Bet you were like that too,” he teased, looking up at Thor with a grin. 

“Me?” Thor asked, pretending to be shocked. He climbed onto the bed next to Loki. “I was a perfect angel.”

Loki snorted. “I’m sure,” he said, and nodded, his grin threatening to split his face in half. “I’ve seen you eat.”

“Hey, how I eat today is no indicator of how I ate as a baby!”

“Isn’t it? I’ll ask your mother,” Loki threatened. 

“You do that,” Thor grumbled. “I bet she’ll tell you _everything_.”

“I can’t wait!”

They were silent for a few moments – Loki staring at Briana, who had her eyes closed, and Thor staring at Loki. 

“I won’t ask her anything embarrassing, I promise,” Loki said quietly, still looking down at Briana. “I know what that’s like.” He finally looked up at Thor. 

“It’s ok,” Thor said after a moment. Now that Loki had said that he wouldn’t ask anything embarrassing, he felt a little guilty about thinking that Loki and his mom would spend the whole meal talking about him. He shifted closer to Loki, until they were touching, and felt Loki move back into him until he was resting against him, not the pillows. Thor’s arms went around him protectively. 

Loki sighed quietly in his arms. “How was the movie?” he asked. “I forgot to ask you today.”

Thor smiled at the memory. “It was good. As it is every time we’ve seen it. It was good to spend some time with Tony. Missed you though,” he added, because he didn’t want Loki to think he _hadn’t_ wanted to be with him instead. 

As usual though, Loki seemed to understand what he was thinking. He leaned his head back until it rested in the crook of Thor’s neck. “Don’t overthink it,” he said to Thor. “I’m not the jealous type, and I’m hardly going to be jealous of you hanging out with Tony when I know that Tony is madly and over-the-top in love with Steve.”

Thor smiled and rested his head against Loki’s. “Speaking of Tony and Steve… I… _may_ have said something about him and Steve…”

“Ohhhh….” Loki said, rather intrigued. “And what did he say?” 

“I think he was a little shocked that someone had even noticed. He asked me not to say anything to anyone.”

“Shocked that people had _noticed_ Is he serious? Has he noticed that none of us are blind?”

Thor chuckled. “Well, I did tell him that me and you saw them kissing. Oh, and Tasha knows.”

“Oh god _Tasha_ knows? This is better than daytime TV! Did you tell her or something?”

“No. She saw it too. She asked me about it on Sunday when we had lunch.”

Loki blew through his lips. “I didn’t see her.”

“Neither did I. She was being sneaky again, I think.”

“She scares me when she does that.”

“I know what you mean.”

They were both silent for a moment, until Loki spoke up again. “So we aren’t talking about Steve and Tony right? In public, I mean.”

“Yeah. I think he’s worried Steve is gonna get freaked out by everything.”

Loki snorted. “If he wants something to be shocked by, I can tell him a story,” he said dryly. 

Thor chuckled into Loki’s hair. “Speaking of which… Tony was practically begging for me to dish dirt on you.”

“And did you?” Loki asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. I told him you snore and you never wash your underwear.”

Loki coughed and spluttered into his elbow as he tried hard not to disturb Briana. Thor could feel him shaking as he laughed silently, mouth split into a wide grin. 

“If you weren’t kidding I’m not sleeping with you for the rest of the year.”

Thor winced. “Ouch. But yes, kidding. Seriously… I didn’t tell him anything.” He reached forward and kissed the lobe of Loki’s ear. “Though he really wanted to know why you don’t have a Facebook profile. He wanted to stalk you.”

Loki was silent for a moment, until Thor heard him sigh. “You know, that’s pretty much why I deactivated it in the first place.”

Thor bit his lip. He remembered that Loki and his family had had to move from Anchorage for a reason. His arms tightened automatically around Loki. “I’m sorry.”

Loki shrugged, but Thor could tell from the way his face had tensed up that it meant a lot more than what Loki was letting on. “It’s no big deal.” His voice sounded strained. 

“Really?” Thor asked, very quietly. 

Loki shrugged again, but it seemed like all the life had gone out of him. Thor regretted even bringing up the subject; it seemed like it was dredging up bad memories. 

“It’s stupid,” Loki said eventually, busying himself with moving Briana to his other breast. “It was just a bunch of idiots from my high school who had nothing better to do than tell everyone what I was up to. I blocked them but I guess other people started doing it too.”

“Nothing much to do in Anchorage huh?”

“You’d think not. Apparently I was fascinating.”

“Well, I find you pretty fascinating…” Thor mused. 

Loki’s brief but bright smile was worth it, just for a moment. “You don’t tell all your friends that you think I’m a slut behind my back. You know what the stupid thing is? Half of those people spent most of the time sleeping their way through our year. I slept with James. And they were calling _me_ a slut?” Loki was breathing hard now, his jaw tense and eyes furious. “They all thought it was fucking awesome. I kick their ass in class because most of them can’t spell their own name and then I get knocked up, they all thought it was hilarious, like I deserved it for being smarter than most of them.” He took a deep, shaky breath, and Thor could feel him trembling, perhaps with anger. It scared him. 

“Loki… it’s ok, they don’t matter anymore. They aren’t here,” he said, trying to reassure him while trying to quell the feeling in his chest that he just didn’t know what he could do or say to help. He clung to Loki, as if he was trying to ground him, bring him back to the reality that they were in now, where Thor would make sure that wouldn’t happen, not in a million years. But Loki was reliving the memories that forced him and his family away from Anchorage, and no matter what, Thor couldn’t change what he’d been through. 

He didn’t like it. 

He _wanted_ to help, to be the one that held him until all the bad memories were gone, but he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that it wasn’t going to be that easy. Sometimes, it seemed like nothing ever was. 

Loki was sighing into his chest, shoulders heaving, body hard and tense. Briana pulled off with a wail, grumpy, and Loki pulled away like he’d been shot. 

“Oh god sorry baby…” Loki said, and Thor could hear the veiled frustration in his voice. Loki settled her again and straightened against Thor, trying not to disturb her again. “I’m sorry,” he said after a pause. “You didn’t come here to listen to me whine about my _issues_.” He spat the last word out like he’d had it used against him before. 

Thor shook his head before he realized that Loki couldn’t see him. “You think I care? You can say what you want, it doesn’t bother me.”

Loki sagged against him. “You’re way too patient.”

“Now _that_ I know my mother would disagree with.”

“So you’re only patient around me?” Loki teased gently. 

Thor blushed and was pleased that Loki couldn’t his face. “Well, I dunno if I’d say that, but…” 

“But the rest of the time you’re a typical teenager?”

“You’ve gotten the typical teenager talk before haven’t you?”

“Many times Thor, many times.”

“Good times,” Thor joked, and he felt Loki shaking with laughter against his chest. 

“It’s my mother’s favorite ammunition against me sometimes,” Loki said, and Thor could hear the fond smile in his voice. “She likes to tell me I’m adopted sometimes.”

“Really?” Thor asked. “Are you sure you aren’t?” he teased.

“I think she’d _like_ me to be adopted some days, but unfortunately for her, the 10 billion and one tests they’ve done on me came to the conclusion that I was indeed her son and hadn’t been swapped at the hospital at birth or something.”

“Too bad huh,” Thor said, not meaning a word. 

“I know right.” With that, Briana declared she’d had enough and pulled off, screwing up her face. “Ok, lunch is over then,” Loki said, and laid her down on his lap. “She looks so pretty in that dress.”

“Told you,” Thor said somewhat triumphantly in his ear. 

“Yeah yeah,” Loki said, and Thor could just about see him rolling his eyes. “The Almighty Thor,” he said teasingly, and pulled his shirt back on. He bent down to pull up Briana’s dress and blew a raspberry on her tummy, making her squeal. 

“What are you doing to that child?” came a voice from the doorway. 

Loki didn’t look up, but Thor turned his head automatically. Farbauti was leaning against the door jamb, one hand on her hip and the other on the door. “I tell you what, you spoil that girl.”

“Not nearly as much as you spoil her!” Loki pointed out, before blowing another raspberry. 

Farbauti smiled. “I’m her grandmother, that’s my job. In fact, I’m fairly sure it’s required by law.” She walked into the room and sat next to them on the bed. “Hey gorgeous girl,” she said, stroking back Briana’s hair and reorganizing her head band. “What time are you two out of here?” she asked. 

“Can’t wait to get rid of us?” Loki asked, before smiling and tucking his head into her shoulder. 

“Exactly,” she teased, and kissed Loki’s hair. “No, actually, your father is taking me out to dinner. Mor Mor gets babysitting duty. She said something about having an Antiques Roadshow marathon with Briana.”

“She’ll love it,” Loki said, completely serious. 

“That she will.”

Briana gurgled, looking up at her rapturous audience with a big smile. “You love attention, don’t you?” Loki mused, and ran a finger down her chest to her bellybutton. “The more the better.”

“Reminds me of a baby I knew years ago,” Farbauti said, and her teasing tone made Loki go bright red.

“Mom!”

“Yeah yeah, I know. No embarrassing stories.” She stood up. “We’re going to the movies first, so we’re leaving in about 10 minutes. Mor Mor’s television marathon starts about then too.” She kissed Loki on the cheek. “If we don’t see you before we leave, have fun tonight, and good luck,” she said with a wink. 

Loki flushed again. “Yeah mom. We will.”

“Bye Thor, good to see you again,” she said, and bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, which left Thor both somewhat delighted and just as red as Loki. 

“And byebye baby.” She picked up Briana for one last hug. “Actually, maybe we should just take her with us.”

“And what, make her watch something with violence in it? I don’t think so!” 

Farbauti laughed. “Your father doesn’t know it yet, but this movie isn’t going to have any violence in it. He’ll be terribly disappointed but put up with it anyway, I’m sure.”

Loki went to take her back, but Ane, who turned up suddenly, swooped in instead. “I think we have a date with the television. If that’s ok with you, Loki?” she asked, one eyebrow raised, one hand around Briana’s hip. 

“You’re all going to ruin my daughter with your television shows and movies, aren’t you?” Loki said, eyes narrowed. “You always told me if I watched too much television I’d get square eyes!”

Farbauti and Ane both laughed. “And it’s happened Loki, can’t you see it?” Farbauti teased, handing over Briana to Ane. “They’re not as oval in the corners as they should be.”

Loki settled for poking out his tongue. Thor would never have dreamt of doing that to his mother in a million years, but Farbauti and Ane took it in good humor and laughed happily, and it all served to remind Thor of just how different their families were. He hadn’t expected them to be the same, not at all, but this sort of easy teasing and banter just didn’t happen in his house. It was… nice. 

And then he and Loki were alone. “Not hard to find babysitters around here, is it?” Thor said as Loki sat back down. 

“No,” Loki said, and laughed. “Though just after she was born, til she was about 6 weeks old, she was a little terror. She’d be up 6 times a night, screaming her head off. Mom and Dad and Mor Mor would take turns with her so I could get some sleep. It was really hard for a while,” he said, drifting off into silence. 

Thor let him be for a minute, and then snuck his arm around his waist and squeezed. It made Loki break out into a small smile. “Babies are hard work.”

Thor swept a lock of Loki’s hair back over his ear. “But it was worth it?” he asked. 

It took Loki a few moments to reply. “Every minute,” he said, turning to Thor with a smile. “Even when she was born. I thought at the time I would never want to do it again, but…”

Thor felt something in his stomach clench. “But?”

“But… one day. I think I’d like more. You?” Loki asked, butting his head against Thor’s. 

“I haven’t really thought about it,” Thor confessed, and it was true. He hadn’t really. Babies had always seemed such a long way away, if he had any at all. His bucket list didn’t exactly have _Babies_ written at the top. Or anywhere in the Top 20, at least. 

Loki didn’t probe him anymore, which Thor was semi-grateful for. He didn’t want Loki to think he was totally against the idea of having kids, because if they stayed together it was highly likely Loki would like those kids to be with _him_ , as opposed to some other random person (the very thought got Thor’s back up). He had opened his mouth and was just about to speak when Loki sprang up. “I’ll be back ok, I’m just going to the bathroom.” Loki kissed the top of his head and was out of the room before Thor could shut it again. 

He didn’t think that Loki had noticed, but he figured it was a subject he was going to have to broach again sooner rather than later. At least that gave him a little time to think. 

He sighed. The room felt so empty, considering that just 5 minutes ago it had been full of people. And a baby. He sat for a few minutes, just looking around, until nosiness got the better of him and he stood up to have a closer look at Loki’s bookshelf. 

It was positively crammed with books. Some of the authors and titles Thor recognized – like _Harry Potter_ and JRR Tolkien - and some he didn’t, like Frank Wedekind and _Geek Love_ , and there was an entire shelf dedicated to what look liked every Greek play ever written. There were no comics. Thor wasn’t sure what he felt about that. He remembered that Loki had had to leave his behind, and he wondered if there was a cardboard box sitting somewhere in Norway with Loki’s name on it, filled to the brim with comics. He wondered what else Loki had had to leave behind. 

On the shelves, in front of some of the books, were photos in neat white frames. He recognized Loki’s friends – Sif, Volstagg, Hogan and Fandral – and there were photos of his parents and Briana, and the cat that Loki had had to leave behind in Anchorage. There were small trinkets too – a silver embossed jewellery case, that Thor felt he shouldn’t open – he shouldn’t even really be looking, but he was really just _looking_ , not searching or investigating, this was all out in the open anyway – so he passed over it, though not without a second look. Next to the case was a small golden horse, prancing even as it stood still, its head held proud. On the next shelf down was a tiny pair of knitted baby boots, and Thor could tell that they had been used, and instinctively he knew these were Briana’s first. He couldn’t help it, he picked up one and settled it in the palm of his hand, where it hardly took up more room than a baby mouse would. 

He was still holding it when Loki opened the door and slipped through, letting the door close behind him. 

“Tiny, isn’t it,” Loki said, and if Thor felt a little guilty for holding something he probably ought not to Loki didn’t seem to mind. “My mom knitted them for Briana the day after she was born.”

“They’re beautiful,” Thor said, and meant it. 

Loki smiled. He picked the bootie up delicately and set it back on the shelf next to its mate. His hand settled into Thor’s. “Come,” he said softly, and turned towards the bed. 

Thor was powerless to do anything but follow. Loki pushed him down onto the bed, and he bounced softly. Thor watched as Loki stripped off his shirt and his pants, eventually pulling off his boxers like it was nothing. 

“I need to get changed. What am I wearing?” Loki asked suddenly, and turned away to rummage through his closet. 

“Uhh… whatever you want, I guess,” Thor said, slightly tongue-tied. He had never seen Loki like _this_ , completely naked, because every time before this he had insisted on leaving his shirt on. Thor could see all of him now, how his back was long and smooth (and _tempting_ ), his hips – now that Thor could see them properly – wide, his waist tapered, the stretch marks fading into soft skin. And when Loki turned, facing him, Thor could see his breasts, so foreign on such a body, but on Loki it just seemed to _work_ ; he was beautiful and Thor was speechless. 

“Pervert,” Loki said fondly, clicking his tongue and snapping Thor back to reality. 

“’Pervert’?! You’re the one standing there naked!” Thor exclaimed, throwing out a hand in Loki’s general direction. But Loki only just smiled, a little wickedly, and Thor sighed because he realized now that that was what Loki had _wanted_. “I am _not_ a pervert,” he said grumpily.

“Sure you’re not. Are jeans ok?” Loki asked suddenly, whirling around with a pair of black jeans in his hand. Thor hadn’t even seen him pick them up. 

“Uh yeah. My parents won’t care, honestly. You could wear a trash bag if you like.”

“I am _not_ wearing a trash bag Thor, honestly!” Loki sounded exasperated, but Thor could see the smile he thought he was hiding. 

“You could wear nothing?” Thor suggested tentatively. 

“Uh huh. I’m sure that’d go down well.”

Thor shrugged his shoulders. “I think you look pretty good just like that.”

Loki stopped what he was doing, which appeared to be delving through the pockets on his jeans looking for something, and blushed heavily. “Don’t be stupid,” he muttered, his long hair drifting over his face as he lowered his head. He turned away to toss the jeans on top of his already cluttered dresser. 

“Loki…” Thor leaned forward and reached out a hand. “I meant it.” And he did. He just wished that Loki could understand. 

Loki sighed heavily. “I know, I’m sorry, I just…” He sat down on the bed next to Thor, hands twisting nervously in his lap. “I can’t help but think of James and what he’d…” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t finish the sentence. 

“He’d what? Loki? You aren’t still concerned about what he thought, are you?”

“I can’t help it. I know, I should get over it already. It’s stupid.” Loki huffed and blew out on the hair that still covered his face. 

“Stop thinking about what _he_ thought and about what _I_ think… hmmm?” Thor pointed out, grabbing Loki by the hips and hauling him up onto his lap, chest to chest. 

Loki shouted out in surprise and grabbed for Thor’s shoulders, holding on for balance as Thor plonked him down. “Idiot!” Loki said breathlessly. “You could have just asked.”

“This is more amusing,” Thor said, smiling at Loki with undisguised adoration. 

“Hmmmph. Amusing for _whom_?”

“Does it matter?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Loki glared at the smirk on his face. His only reply was to pout. 

“Oh. Very mature,” Thor said, his smirk now so wide it threatened to fall off his face entirely. 

“Don’t get sarcastic with me,” Loki said, and attempted to cross his arms over his bare chest. He miscalculated the amount of room between Thor and himself and instead, found himself out of balance and suddenly teetering perilously on the edge of Thor’s knees. He was half a second from finding himself sprawled embarrassingly on the ground when Thor’s arms plucked him out of the air and landed him more securely on Thor’s lap. 

“Now, will you stop moving?” Thor asked, his words implying he was exasperated but his tone saying everything but. 

“Fine,” Loki said petulantly, but then smiled. “My hero.” It was his turn to smirk. 

Thor settled for rolling his eyes. He had a lapful of very naked Loki, and he intended to use it to his full advantage, starting as soon as humanly possible. He began with Loki’s hair, which fell in waves and curls over his shoulders, loose strands drifting down across his face. It was soft against his skin as he stroked it carefully, watching it cascade through his fingers.

“I love the color,” he said softly, almost mesmerized by how dark it was, such a stark contrast to the soft hues of his own skin. 

“Yeah?” Loki asked. His arms slid around Thor’s shoulders, hands meeting at the back of his head, and Thor could feel gentle, rhythmic strokes and presses from his fingers.

“Yeah…” Thor brushed Loki’s hair over his ears, the shiny strands catching the light as they fell down his back. He followed it down to just below Loki’s shoulder blades, where the ends drifted off, and where he could feel Loki shifting beneath his skin. He trailed his fingers down further, over the bumps of Loki’s spine and down around his hips, and then up to his waist, where he touched so slow and so gentle that he could feel Loki quiver and shudder. 

“Ticklish?” he whispered into Loki’s ear, not ceasing his touch. 

Loki just gasped and gripped Thor’s shoulders, his back tensing as he arched, and then Thor’s lap was enclosed in the vice that was Loki’s thighs as his legs clamped together, body taut and firm around him. 

Thor chuckled and didn’t stop, watching Loki’s face as it contorted into something that seemed to be a confusing mix of pain and pleasure, caught between asking him to stop and telling him to keep going. Loki’s teeth bit into his red lips, his green eyes hidden between closed lids, and Thor could see his dark lashes twining against his alabaster skin. He was beautiful. 

Then Loki was gasping into his ear and shifting on his lap, and Thor realized he’d lost concentration, had started gripping too hard and Loki’s skin was turning white. 

“Sorry,” he murmured, and brought Loki forward for a chaste kiss, the apology drifting across his bitten lips. 

“Just make it worth it,” Loki whispered into his ear, and Thor felt his hands roaming down his back and under his shirt to glide over his skin. 

“I can do that.” Thor slid his hands down to Loki’s ass, gripping him with both hands, spreading his cheeks apart and massaging, fingers digging into the soft skin. He kissed Loki hard, tongue running over the divots in Loki’s lip, just feeling, and Loki kissed back, eager, his hands clutching at Thor’s back. 

Thor let his fingers drift down and pass over Loki’s entrance, making him shudder and break the kiss to sigh and collapse into his shoulder. He passed over it again, leaning down to suckle Loki’s neck as he probed at the clenching hole. Loki was soft and pliant in his arms as he leant his body weight on Thor, giving in to the pleasure that Thor was inflicting on him. 

Thor kissed his neck as if in gentle apology before sliding a hand up to suck on a finger, making sure it was well covered in spit before he reached back down to rub Loki’s hole again. It slid easily over the puckered skin, and he could feel Loki relax as he rubbed his entrance, the pad of his finger catching every now and again and making Loki shudder. 

“Uhhh…” Loki breathed and gasped into Thor’s shoulder, his chest heaving as Thor slid in to the first knuckle, probing gently before twisting and sliding his finger out. He did it again, making Loki groan and jerk his hips, and soon they were lost in their own rhythm, Loki rocking backwards and forwards on Thor’s lap as Thor fingered him, pushing in his finger as far as it would go. 

Loki was tight and hot around his finger, clenching as he pulled his finger out and fluttering open as he pushed it back in. It made everything seem heady, like he was dazed, only able to concentrate on this, and on Loki, who was trembling in his arms. 

“More,” Loki gasped, and turned his head back in to Thor’s chest. 

There was only so many things Thor could do with a little bit of spit so he pulled his finger out and rested his hands on Loki’s hips again, holding him securely as he attempted to shuffle around the bed to the bedside table. Loki raised his head and gave him a confused glare as he felt them stand up. 

“Lube,” Thor managed, very conscious that his erection seemed to be poking Loki in a rather uncomfortable place. It wasn’t that comfortable for him either. 

Loki looked satisfied at the answer and laid his head down again, but then wriggled his hips in an attempt to avoid Thor’s problem and nearly overbalanced them completely. 

“Loki!” Thor exclaimed as he tried to get his feet back under him again. 

“Sorry,” Loki said, not sounding sorry at all. 

Thor finally made it to the bedside table and sat down on the bed next to it, readjusting Loki so he wasn’t hanging off the edge. But before he could bend down to open the drawer, Loki twisted in his lap and reached for it instead. He rummaged inside it for a moment, and Thor had to wonder just what was in it. 

“Strawberry, passion fruit, or um, Pina Colada?” Loki asked from somewhere down by the drawer. He sounded like he had a mouthful of hair, and judging from where the mass of it was heading, he probably did. 

“Uhhh… you have _Pina Colada_ flavored lube?” Thor asked, somewhat disbelieving. Strawberry and passion fruit didn’t surprise him, but he’d never heard of alcoholic drink flavored lube. Maybe he needed to get out more. 

“Yeah. It’s kinda nice.”

Thor floundered for a moment. Maybe they could save the fancy stuff for another day. “Strawberry,” he said after a pause. 

Loki sat up a moment later, wild hair in all directions, triumphantly clutching a bottle of strawberry flavored lube. 

“What _have_ you got hidden in there?” Thor asked. 

Loki shrugged. “Lotsa stuff. Think you’ll like most of it. But, for now, can we get back to what we were doing?” he said, and brandished the bottle at Thor’s face. 

Thor grabbed for it and poured a decent amount onto one palm before replacing the cap and putting it back on the bedside table. He dragged a finger through the slippery mess before lowering his hand. Loki helped by shuffling forward a touch and raising his hips, just a little, so their chests were pressed together, and Thor was blatantly aware of Loki’s heart beating a mile a minute and how he panted as he slid a finger back into him. 

It was easier now, and Thor made sure to press his finger in as deeply as he could before curling it and dragging it over Loki’s tight, hot walls. The toe-curling keen that Loki made as he found his prostate sent electric shockwaves to his cock and nearly made him shudder as hard as Loki. 

“Like that?” Thor whispered into a mass of black hair.

Loki’s shiver was enough answer. His fingers curled into Thor’s nape, eyes hidden behind long lashes, and Thor couldn’t do anything but watch him as a thousand expressions of pleasure and bliss passed over his face to the rhythm of his thrusting. 

“I don’t… don’t know how you do this to me,” Loki gasped, a broken moan rising from his throat as Thor pressed in another finger. “I never…” He keened, low and wrecked. 

“Shhh,” Thor whispered into his ear. “Just stop thinking.” 

He liked this, watching Loki just fall apart because of him. He liked that he knew Loki’s body well enough now to know just where to touch and how, and he liked that every time they came together like this, he learned more and discovered more and there was a sweet sweet promise of more to come. 

For now, he was content to give as much to Loki as he could, and though conscious of his erection pressing incessantly at the front of his jeans, he was in no hurry to do anything about it. Loki’s gasps and moans as he fingered him were so addicting they seemed to make his blood burn in his veins. And as he slid in another finger, Loki’s entire body shuddered, like the pleasure Thor was giving him was too much, so much that there wasn’t anywhere for it to go. It was power, and Thor enjoyed it. 

He licked gently at the curve of Loki’s neck, wrapping his lips around the skin and sucking softly, until Loki keened low with pleasure. The fingers of his other hand drifted up over Loki’s hip and over his chest, stuttering slightly as he reached his breasts, unfamiliar and unsure. 

“It’s ok,” Loki whispered. 

Thor felt his breath catch in his chest as he let his fingers explore, squeezing his eyes closed as if that would help. He wasn’t used to this, to the strange contours of Loki’s body here – he was aware of the awe that many of his fellow male classmates held for such parts of a woman’s anatomy but it was the first time he’d done this, the first time he realized that breasts could be part of his sexual experience. Loki was nothing if not unique. 

Loki stilled on his lap as he let his hands glide over his breasts, the silence in the room broken only by their quiet breaths. After a moment Thor realized that his fingers had slipped out of Loki, but as he didn’t seem to mind he let them trace the rim of Loki’s entrance and concentrated on exploring this new territory. 

“Not too hard,” Loki said suddenly as Thor squeezed the swell of his chest, and as if he’d been caught doing something naughty he let his hand fall away. “It’s ok,” Loki reassured. “Just… gently,” he suggested, and kissed Thor’s cheek as if to forgive him. 

“’Gently’,” Thor repeated quietly to himself, feeling a little as though he needed some sort of a manual or guide. They were softer than he’d expected, pliant in his hands, and Loki’s nipples responded eagerly when he ran his fingers over them. He rubbed one with his thumb, making Loki gasp, but remembered to be gentle and resisted the urge to do anything rougher. They were fascinating, in a way, nothing he hadn’t seen before but this was still _different_ , because the nipples that Thor had been used to were found on flat planes and hard chests, not this. 

He liked it. 

Cautiously, as if expecting to be told off at any minute, he lowered his head, tongue flicking out to graze over a hardened nipple. Loki gasped, his body jerking, but he didn’t tell him to stop so Thor did it again, but on the other nipple this time. He palmed the swell of one breast in his hand, and lifted it, taking the nipple into his mouth with the barest nip from his teeth.

“Careful,” Loki breathed, his body rigid, a hand stroking through Thor’s hair. He breathed out, long and trembling, and gripped Thor’s hip harder with his other hand.

Thor’s tongue swirled around the nipple, teasing, lips sealed to soft, plump skin. Experimentally, he hollowed his cheeks, and Loki’s sharp gasp told him he’d done something, though whether it was right or wrong he wasn’t sure. Intuition told him to do it again. He pressed his tongue against Loki’s nipple at the same time, and in between Loki’s muffled yell and sudden sharp dig into his hip with his fingernails he felt something cool and sweet in his mouth. 

It took him half a second to realize. 

“I’m sorry,” he gasped as he pulled off, quite certain that Loki was going to hit him over the head with the first thing he found. Instead, Loki was flushed, his eyes partially veiled, mouth open, panting softly. 

“Do that again.”

“What?” Thor asked, his voice embarrassingly wobbly. 

“It’s ok.”

It wasn’t like he was ever going to say no. He bent down again, clasped Loki’s breast and raised the nipple to his mouth. This time he didn’t hesitate. He pressed his tongue to the underside of the nipple and sucked. 

Nothing happened. 

He tried again, this time laving the nipple with his tongue before sucking on it. 

Nothing happened again. 

He pulled off in frustration, but Loki was grinning, his smile looking far too suspiciously like a smirk for Thor’s liking. “What?!” he asked. “What am I doing wrong?”

“You were doing it properly the first time. You have to suck more of it. Look.” He grabbed hold of his breast. “From here.” 

Thor took note, and this time, took more of the breast into his mouth. Loki’s hand cupped the back of his mouth as he started to suck, guiding him carefully. A burst of sweet warmth hit his tongue, filling his mouth, and he almost choked before he remembered to swallow. 

He wasn’t sure what it tasted like. It was like nothing he’d had before, and certainly not like the cow’s milk he enjoyed drinking out of the bottle. He had a feeling it would fill him up much more than normal milk, as if he could live off it. He supposed that at one point in his life, he had. The strangeness of it all wasn’t lost on him. 

He pulled off after a few mouthfuls, his complete ignorance about the milk production process making him paranoid that if he drank it all, there wouldn’t be enough for Briana. But Loki didn’t seem to be worried, especially as he directed Thor to the other breast, and without a word he fell on it, a little more certain about his abilities this time. 

The milk came quickly, and he found himself swallowing hurriedly as it flowed over his tongue. He thought that this time it tasted a little nutty, like almonds maybe, but sweet at the same time, like honey, or maybe melted ice cream. Either way, he could see why Briana liked it. 

He let go almost reluctantly. 

“There’ll be more where that came from, if you liked it so much,” Loki said teasingly, and leaned in to kiss him, licking a stray drop or two from his lip with his tongue. 

“Yeah,” Thor said breathlessly, either from the breast milk or Loki’s kiss, he wasn’t sure. “Yeah I did.”

“Good,” Loki murmured, and the next thing that Thor was aware of was hands at his groin, undoing his jeans, and given the lack of room he currently had in them he wasn’t protesting. He leaned back on the bed to give Loki more flexibility, his eyes inevitably drawn to Loki’s chest. He wasn’t sure if it was possible to get any harder, but he was pretty sure he just did. Warmth pooled in his groin, and it wasn’t just from the hand that Loki had suddenly slipped around his cock. 

He was pretty sure he was going to explode. 

“ _Fuck_ …” he breathed, just watching as Loki bent to take him into his mouth, breasts brushing against his still-clothed thighs, and as a tongue licked its way down his cock he felt his entire body shudder. He was going to come embarrassingly early, he just knew it. 

Apparently, so did Loki. He pulled off suddenly, and then Thor’s lap was completely devoid of a certain dark haired beauty. He whimpered. 

Loki was at the edge of the bed, the flush on his cheeks and his swollen cock belying the devil-may-care look on his face. He grabbed hold of Thor’s jeans and pulled, and just in time Thor lifted his hips to help. A second later the jeans were on the floor and Loki was on the bed, hands curled around the edge of his shirt. 

They pulled it off together, and Thor didn’t miss the look of sudden and complete hunger on Loki’s face. 

“What do you want me to do?” he asked, prepared to give Loki the moon if he wished, though he hoped the request would center around his cock, rather than the stars. 

Loki didn’t say anything, just grasped one of Thor’s hands and pulled him up, before lying against the pillows and tucking his feet behind Thor’s waist. Thor found himself between Loki’s legs, but didn’t question it, just asked for a kiss that was hungrily received and returned. Loki’s hand was still on his wrist, and he found it dragged between them, down over Loki’s cock to his entrance, and he slid his fingers back in without a thought. 

The bite on his lip that he got in return was worth it. 

“You like?” he whispered against Loki’s mouth, and punctuated it with a kiss. Loki just gasped in reply. 

He fumbled around on the bed for the lube, not sure where in the hell it had made off to, until his rhythm fumbled and Loki’s eyes were wide and glaring at him. 

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, and temporarily slid his fingers out as he continued searching. 

“There’s more in the drawer, we can find the other one later,” Loki said, his voice hoarse. 

Thor bent over the bed to search through Loki’s cache. There was more lube, of which he grabbed a tube, as well as boxes of condoms – most unopened – and a variety of sex toys. He was just about to sit back up again when he hesitated, and reached for one. It was red with a gold dial at its base, and no thicker than three of his fingers. He pulled it out of the drawer and held it up. 

Loki opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he saw the toy. His eyebrow went up instead. 

“What?” Thor asked with a grin. He flicked open the cap of the lube and poured a generous amount onto the end of the vibrator. He wriggled it suggestively at Loki, who huffed and rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, and slid down a little further on the bed and spread his legs even more so that Thor could not have been in doubt about his state of acquiesce. 

Loki was already loose and relaxed from Thor’s fingers and took the end of the vibrator easily, opening up to take the rest with a little pressure. Thor watched as it slid in, careful not to push too far too fast. When it was sheathed within Loki he let it sit there, just looking, until he raised a finger to trace where Loki had opened to let it in. 

“Stop teasing,” Loki said, and without looking Thor knew he was pouting. 

He kissed Loki’s thigh in apology. “Ok then.” He ran his finger over the dial, and carefully shifted it two notches to the right. It began to hum and vibrate, and the long, low moan that Loki made left him in no doubt as to what he thought about it. Loki was clenching so tight it was threatening to escape, so he held it in with his finger and let the vibrations do the work as he ran his other hand over Loki’s cock. It was impossibly hard and leaking all over his stomach, and Thor made use of the excess fluid as he fisted him slowly. Loki shuddered and arched his back from the mattress, hands twisted in a death grip on the sheets. 

“ _Thor_!” Loki gasped, mouth open in a silent scream. Thor knew him well enough by now to know exactly what was going to happen next, and though for a brief moment he thought about torturing him and removing his hand, he settled back on his heels and watched instead. 

Loki’s body tensed, from his bare throat to his toes that curled impossibly inwards, stomach muscles rippling under his skin. He let out a choked gasp as he tried to stop himself from screaming, his teeth biting so hard into his lip it was nearly white. Thor felt the vibrator slip out, and then warmth on his hand, and looked down to see white strips of come painting his hand and dripping down his fingers to dot Loki’s skin below. He watched as more oozed out, and gripped with a sudden desire to taste it on his tongue, bent and took Loki into his mouth. 

Loki shuddered and whimpered, a hand suddenly in his hair. He sucked, hoping for more, and was rewarded with another burst of come that coated his tongue. He swirled it around his mouth, teasing at the underside of Loki’s cock in hopes of procuring more, but it seemed he was done and Thor settled for swallowing what he had. Loki’s body relaxed beneath him as he came down from his high, and Thor could hear his short, soft gasps. 

He pulled off, quite taken with how wet and shiny Loki’s cock appeared to be. It served to remind him, however, of his own pressing need. 

“Baby?” he asked, looking up to see Loki laying back with a hand over his eyes, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. Loki seemed as though he could barely move, but then he raised his hand and pointed slowly at the drawer. 

“Condom,” he said languidly, and opened his eyes to smile slowly down at Thor. “We’re hardly finished, are we?”

Thor nearly fell off the bed in his hurry. He pulled a tissue from the box on the bedside table to wipe his hand clean before pulling a condom from one of the open boxes in the drawer. He opened it without preamble and sat back to slide it on. The lube was next to Loki’s thigh and he spurted a teaspoon or so onto his cock before throwing it out of his way. 

Loki chuckled at this. “In a hurry, are we?” he teased, spreading his legs for Thor. 

“Something like that.” Thor found the vibrator between Loki’s spread thighs and threw that away too, a sudden _thump_ indicating that he’d managed to toss it onto the floor. He ignored it in favor of something far more interesting. 

He slid in easily, as Loki was still open from the toy. It was heaven, pure heaven, and he practically sighed with relief as Loki tightened around him. 

“What are you waiting for?” Loki asked, a smile on his lips. Thor growled and jerked his hips forward, slamming into Loki. The smile was replaced with a look of pure pleasure, and Thor reveled in it, watching Loki’s face as he thrust into him again and again. 

He wasn’t going to last. He knew that from the moment he rolled the condom on and nearly came from his own touch alone. He bent down and captured Loki’s lips, kissing him for all he was worth, snapping his hips into Loki’s and feeling it build and build, until it seemed to surround him, prickling at his skin. 

It thundered over him and stole his breath, his body no longer his own to control. Loki was whispering something in his ear, his hands sweeping over his biceps, but it all seemed far away, like he was outside his body, connected only by a base feel. He was somewhere else, even if he was still within Loki’s arms, and it was bliss, it was utter relief and lust and love rolled into one explosive moment. 

Then Loki was hitting him with an open hand, calling his name, and all Thor could do was groan weakly and raise his head, just a little. 

“Thor? You’re very heavy.”

“Wha? Oh.” He gathered his senses and rolled off Loki, feeling himself slip out. His body felt heavy and languid, like he’d need a week just to recover. But then Loki was snuggling up against him, one leg over his hips, an arm over his chest. He could sleep now, with Loki right there, and it would be lovely, it would be perfect. He closed his eyes. 

“Don’t we have to be at your house in half an hour?”

Nothing had ever woken Thor faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a favour to ask of American readers - I have done some googling but it has FAILED me (gasp!). Thor and Loki and their friends are in the second to last year of high school (erm, I think, anyway.... :O). I think this is junior year? They are approaching summer, maybe a couple of months away yet (I left my timeline at home :/). Would they typically be preparing for end of year exams or tests or anything? I understand that each state is probably different and I have deliberately not stated which state they are in (both cos I have no idea and because it makes it easier to pinch things from everywhere else!) but if anyone could help me out with what the end of this particular year will bring I will be forever grateful! Thank you :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW! I once again find myself posting a chapter with an apology for the sheer length of time it's taken to get this updated...... I am so sorry!! :( Here I was thinking that I had summer to really get into this fic, and get it moving again, and also work on several other fics (that had taken residence in my brain and refused to leave until I wrote them down) and then BAM life just laughs at me and kills my laptop. Cos, you know, that would have been just too good an opportunity. 
> 
> But my laptop has been resurrected! Yay! I can stop being bitter and resentful! Double yay! I should really make sure my happiness doesn't revolve around my access to the internet, but that sounds like too much hard work. 
> 
> A couple of quick notes on this chapter: I totally pulled Laufey's last name from a google search for Norwegian last names. I wanted Thor to be 'Thor Odinson' and Loki 'Loki Laufeyson' as they identify themselves in the MU but that left me with a small problem as I couldn't find Laufey's heritage or how that works or anything (if anyone can enlighten me, I offer many virtual hugs!). 
> 
> Also, Odin and Frigga are now just referred to as 'Odin' and 'Frigga'. Groundbreaking, I know, but as this fic is written mostly from Thor's POV I was finding it really tiring to just write 'his father' or 'his mother' all the time. Hope that's ok. 
> 
> AND I have succumbed to the world of Tumblr. I'll mainly be using it as a forum to post updates about my fics (both already posted and in progress and those that haven't made it to the big wide world yet) and share random stuff (Loki, TH, Johnny Weir, Andrej Pejic). I might also be accepting prompts if you are interested. In the very near future I'll introduce the fics that I'm working on and a couple of other things. My tumblr is http://wicked-writings.tumblr.com/. Please excuse the fact that I'm a technophobe (I still have a flip phone) and I don't quite get how these things work just yet.... :D

Thor swore and scrambled out of bed, nearly falling over, and Loki thought it was so hilarious he rolled around on the bed laughing for several minutes before he could even sit up. While Loki was otherwise occupied, he got rid of the condom in a tissue and hopped into his jeans, and then out of them again when he realized he’d forgotten his boxers. He found them under the bed and tugged them on before pulling his jeans back on. He stood at the end of the bed, looking at Loki, who was still lounging on the bed, still very much naked. 

“It doesn’t take half an hour to walk to your place,” Loki pointed out after a moment’s pause. “Relax.”

“I smell like sex,” Thor said, screwing up his face. 

Loki surveyed him for a moment. “You look like it too. Take a shower if you want. You know where the bathroom is.”

Thor didn’t think twice about it. Going to dinner with his parents and his boyfriend whilst smelling (and looking, apparently) like sex was probably not the cleverest thing he could ever do. He found his shirt and, clutching it in one hand, climbed partway onto the bed to kiss Loki before making for the bathroom. 

“Towels are in the cabinet!” Loki called out after him as he closed the door behind him. 

The hallway was thankfully clear and free of grandmas. He could hear the TV going in the living room, and tiptoed down to the bathroom. 

He pulled a towel out from the cabinet – it was green, which reminded him of Loki, and therefore served to issue up a mental image of a naked and fucked-out Loki laying on his bed, at which his cock promptly twitched, whereupon he felt like slapping his groin because _now was **not** the time_ – and threw the towel on the counter before stripping at the speed of light. 

The shower was filled with a range of hair products, and he grabbed the first one he saw marked ‘shampoo’. It smelt like almonds, and it wasn’t until he was washing it out that he realized it must have been Loki’s. He knew that smell. He was careful to use the matching conditioner and swathed himself in soap before rinsing it off and reaching to turn off the water. 

There was a hand on the faucet. 

Thor nearly leapt three feet before he realized it was Loki’s hand. 

“I’ve been standing here for a full minute, Thor.”

Thor steadied himself with a hand on the shower wall. “I could have fallen over and killed myself.”

“Sure.” Loki shed the clothes he’d hastily chucked on and pushed Thor out of the way to climb under the spray. “I would have mourned you.”

“Bet you would have,” Thor muttered. He thread his arms around Loki’s waist and squeezed, making Loki squeal and drop the shampoo. 

“Not helpful, Thor!”

“Not helpful? You’re the one who decided that interrupting me in the middle of a shower was a good idea!”

“You were nearly finished,” Loki pointed out. He bent down for the shampoo and dumped what had to be nearly half the bottle on his head. Bubbles started to froth almost straight away, sliding down his face and over his nose. Thor was going to say something terribly witty but burst out laughing instead. Loki poked out his tongue and started massaging it in. 

“Do you think your parents will click when they realize that our hair smells exactly the same?” Loki asked with a straight face, his fingers combing the shampoo through his hair. 

Thor cursed. 

“You didn’t think of that, did you?” Loki remarked casually, and dunked himself under the spray. Thor watched as what seemed like half a mile of froth cascaded down the drain. 

“No,” he admitted.

“I have product you can smother your hair in,” Loki said through the water. “We can give you a Mohawk.”

Thor laughed. “I can see that going down well.”

“I think you’d look _sexy_ with a Mohawk!”

“I’d have to duck every time I went through a door.”

Loki shrugged. “Still sexy.”

Thor plastered himself against the wall as Loki finished his shower, trying hard not to make it look like he was gawking. 

“Stop gawking.”

“I’m not gawking!”

“Yes you are.”

“It’s not like there’s anywhere else to look!”

Loki wriggled his hips in reply. 

“Not helping, Loki…”

Loki promptly bent over. 

By the time they managed to finish Thor had practically had to beat back down his erection. Loki had offered a complimentary blow job, but time restraints forced Thor to reluctantly decline. They dried off as best as they could before wrapping towels around themselves, and Loki peeked around the door to make sure the coast was clear. He nodded and padded across the hall to his bedroom, and Thor followed, holding up his towel with one hand while holding his clothes with his other. 

He closed the door behind them and let his towel drop. 

“I thought you said we didn’t have enough time,” Loki said cheekily, and squeezed Thor’s ass. 

“We don’t,” Thor growled, and slapped away the hands. “Get dressed.”

“Yessir!” Loki saluted. 

Even with his worry that they would be late, Thor found it hard to get dressed himself while Loki was still parading around naked. He was, after all, rather nice to look at. Loki stood in front of his dresser and wriggled his hips when he saw, in the mirror, Thor staring at him. 

In the end, Thor had to turn around in order to concentrate. 

“You dressed?” Loki asked, bouncing on his bed. He had settled on black jeans and a green dress shirt that made his eyes stand out. His hair was thick and shiny and _beautiful_ and Thor could barely resist the temptation to go another couple of rounds. 

“Yes,” he said reluctantly. 

“Good.” Loki bounced himself off the bed and rummaged through the copious hair products on his dresser. “Come here.”

Thor dutifully presented himself for hair-arranging, and Loki promptly smoothed a palmful of something over his hair. He couldn’t feel it doing anything but it smelt a little like mint, smothering the hint of almonds that had been lingering ever since his shower. 

“There,” Loki said proudly, and Thor had to bend slightly to look at himself in the mirror. No Mohawk, thank goodness, but his hair _did_ look remarkably smooth. He ran a hand down over the strands. 

“You look gorgeous,” Loki said. Thor looked back but Loki had already disappeared, going through things on his bedside table.

“Uh, thank you?” 

Loki threw him a smile over his shoulder. “Have you got everything?”

Thor grabbed his bag from the floor. “Yes.”

“Brilliant.” Loki glanced at his watch. “We have 12 minutes.”

Thor mentally judged the distance in his head. “We’ll make it. I don’t think my mother will mind if we are 10 seconds late anyway.”

“She won’t disinherit you?”

“I’m not sure there’s much to inherit.” Thor pouted. 

Loki laughed. “Yeah right. I’ve seen your house, don’t forget that.”

Thor chuckled. “I think my mother has spent most of my inheritance on Laura Ashley.”

“If you inherit the Laura Ashley I’ll have it!” Loki said, and Thor had a feeling he wasn’t joking either. 

“Come on,” he said, chuckling, and Loki took his arm. 

They stopped to say goodbye to Briana (who was fast asleep) and endure a very much all-knowing grin from Ane, who thankfully did not say anything (it was all in her eyes). 

“Have a good time, darling,” she said, and gave Loki a hug. “Do you have your phone? I’ll call if Briana needs you.”

Loki patted his pocket. “I have it. Thanks for looking after her.”

“ _Det er ok_ ,” Ane said, and Thor was proud of himself, he was pretty certain of what she had just said. Not that it was hard to figure out. Ane kissed him on the cheek too, and this time Thor didn’t even blush. 

*

Despite Thor’s inclination to get there sooner rather than later (the last thing he wanted was to irritate his father, because things would surely only get worse from then on in) the walk was pleasant and they found themselves taking their time. Loki was still getting used to his new town and so Thor pointed out what he could, telling Loki who lived where and everything scandalous that he knew about them, true or otherwise. 

Halfway down his street they came across one of Thor’s old neighbors. Though he had lived in the same house his entire life, Mr Johnson (though Thor knew his first name – Gary – calling him anything other than ‘Mister’ or ‘Mr Johnson’ just seemed _wrong_ ) and his wife had lived in the house to their right for the first 7 years of Thor’s life. Then, when their children had moved out, they downsized and moved to a new house further down the road. Thor had missed them. Mrs Johnson snuck him cookies when his mother wasn’t watching and Mr Johnson let him play in the piles of sand he always seemed to have in his backyard. When he was older he asked his mother why they always had sand – it took him another 4 years to figure out what a ‘landscaper’ was. 

Mr Johnson was out the front of his house, sorting out bags of compost and soil into different piles. He stopped and leaned on the side of his house as Thor and Loki approached. Thor hadn’t seen him for a while. No matter that they lived so close, they just always seemed to miss each other. 

“Good evening, young man,” Mr Johnson said with a smile, raising a gloved hand. 

He never failed to put a smile on Thor’s face as well. He reminded Thor of his childhood, which had been rather privileged and by all accounts, very satisfying. It was nice to see him again. 

“Mr Johnson,” Thor replied, and with Loki in hand, headed up the path towards the house. 

“It’s been a while,” said Mr Johnson, and he started to pull off his gloves. “And who’s this?”

“This is Loki, my boyfriend,” Thor said proudly, quite enjoying the warm feeling that came from being able to introduce Loki as such. 

Loki smiled shyly and raised a hand in welcome, but Mr Johnson grabbed it and gave him a hearty handshake. “Good to meet you, lad,” he said, beaming. “Moira! Come out here!” he hollered at the house. “It’s young Mr Odinson.”

Loki gave Thor an almost confused smile, and Thor squeezed his hand in return and smiled back. He winked, and Loki’s smile widened, his stance becoming more sure. 

The front door opened and an older lady in a brightly printed apron came bustling down the steps. “Thor!” she said heartily, and wrapped him in a hug so enthusiastic Thor found his hand wrenched from Loki’s.

Thor was still recovering when she turned to Loki. “You’re new,” she said, with the assured wisdom of a life-long resident. “Anderson Road, wasn’t it?” 

Loki looked surprised, and, Thor suspected, perhaps a little unsettled. He had forgotten to mention to Loki that the announcement of a new arrival always made the local grapevine. Loki just nodded his head, not sure of what to say. 

“That there is Thor’s boyfriend,” Mr Johnson said, with a practiced nod of his head. 

“Fabulous!” Moira said, after a quick appraisal. She flung her arms around Loki and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Welcome to the family,” she said with a wink. 

“Uh, thanks,” Loki said, still a little shell-shocked.

“Where are you boys off too?” she asked, hands twirled in the fabric of her apron. “I’ve just put peanut brownies in the oven.”

Thor’s mouth watered. He was rather sad that they couldn’t stay. Her cookies were _legendary_. “Ohhh… we’re just on the way home for dinner.”

“Meeting the parents, aye lad?” Mr Johnson asked cheekily, with a wink at Loki. 

“Something like that,” Loki replied. 

“Well, we’d better not keep you,” Moira said, and Thor could see the flash of disappointment in her face. “You two stop round here tomorrow after school and I’ll get you some of those cookies, you hear?”

“Yes ma’am,” Thor said, not having to force his bright grin. 

“Excellent,” Moira said, mollified. “Now you get going if you need to, but you know you are welcome to stay. And you, old man, don’t go breaking your back again with those bags!” She directed the last at her husband. 

He looked almost insulted. “What are you trying to say, old lady?” he asked indignantly. 

Thor laughed. “Come on,” he said to Loki. “Let’s get home before my mother sends out a search party.”

“You say hello to that mother of yours,” Moira said, pointing a finger at Thor. “Tell her to stop around some time for a cup of tea.”

“I’ll do that,” Thor said. “It was good to see you again.”

“And you too, lad. And your new laddy. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said sternly, and Thor knew they had no choice – not that he was planning on _not_ showing up if there were cookies involved. 

Loki nodded and waved his goodbye. “Good to meet you,” he said, and Moira beamed. 

“You bring him with you, Mr Odinson!” she called after them. 

Thor turned. “I couldn’t possibly not,” he said, and lifted a hand in goodbye. 

“Who was that?” Loki said, still grinning, as they headed back down the pavement. 

“My old neighbors. They lived next to us for years when I young.”

“They seem really nice.”

“Yeah.” Thor paused for a moment. “I don’t really know my grandparents that well, because they all live in Norway. I’ve only seen them a few times. I guess, in a way, the Johnsons were my honorary grandparents.” He felt a bit stupid saying it, but it was true. They still bought him presents for Christmas too. 

“That’s really nice,” Loki said, with a look that said that he understood, though Thor knew that Loki had grown up with his grandparents – both sets – around him. He squeezed Thor’s hand and made the rest of the walk in silence. 

*

Thor wasn’t sure what to make of the fact that his father’s car was in the driveway when they finally made it home. Half of him was pleased that his father thought meeting Loki was so important that he would come home early from work to make it in time, the other half of him was worried that he thought meeting Loki was so important that he would come home early from work to make sure that he could judge Loki from the minute he stepped inside. 

There was a voice inside his head, though, that told him to stop being stupid and overthinking everything – that it wasn’t going to be as bad as he was sort of expecting. Despite everything, his parents were rational and good people, and they weren’t going to sit there tearing Loki to shreds. He realized then just what he had invested in this. He had brought old boyfriends home before, but he had never been this nervous, this anxious. This was different. 

“You ok?” Loki asked him, and then Thor realized he had stopped. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

“I know. They can probably hear you down the street.”

Thor smiled at that, though he didn’t realize how strained it was until Loki pointed it out and told him to stop worrying. “I promise not to jump on the table or ask your mother about her toilet training experience with you.”

That made Thor laugh, and he felt himself loosen up, felt some of that pent-up anxiety disappear and his shoulders relax. “Come on then,” he said, and tugged at Loki’s hand. “Let’s do this.”

Frigga greeted them at the door, opening it before Thor could even reach for the door knob. He realized that his mom must have kept an eye out for them and was glad they hadn’t indulged in any tonsil hockey practice before going up to the house. Loki must have been thinking the same because he raised his eyebrows at Thor and grinned. 

“Hurry up, come in,” she said, giving a far bigger smile to Loki than she did to Thor. He had that effect, Thor mused. 

“Your hair looks nice, dear,” she said as he passed, and he could have sworn she gave a tiny wink. 

His father was in the living room, clearly having abandoned the day’s paper in a hurry as it lay strewn all over the coffee table. He saw his mother scowl at him quickly before gathering it all up and bit his inner cheek to stop from smiling. At least he wasn’t worrying about his father’s reaction. 

“Dad, um, this is Loki. Loki, this is my dad, Odin.” As far as greetings went, and especially boyfriend-meeting-father-for-first-time greetings, it was only slightly awkward. He gave himself a mental pat on the back. 

He could see his father give Loki the once-over as he shook his hand, but Loki was doing the same thing, and it was a male thing, so he didn’t worry. Especially since his father hadn’t lingered over anything (clothes passed inspection then) or scowled (no visible tattoos or piercings, no dyed hair, CHECK). Also, Loki hadn’t balked at his father’s missing eye, which had, in the past, sent many a child running out the door. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Loki said, sounding far more confident than Thor. 

“Likewise,” Odin said, and tilted his head. Thor decided he could breathe a little easier. 

“Come sit down,” his mother said, getting in there before things got awkward and they ended up just standing around staring at each other. 

As they took their seats (Loki and Thor on the couch, Frigga in her armchair by her knitting, Odin in his chair that no-one else ever dared to sit in) Thor couldn’t help but notice that his mother had clearly gone a bit nuts cleaning that day. Even the air seemed cleaner, and that was a big thing considering his mother was a stickler for a clean house anyway. If Odin noticed, he didn’t comment. 

His mother brought out cookies and then drinks, and then they were expected to talk, and Thor wished it all didn’t seem so _formal_. He couldn’t help but remember that meeting Loki’s parents hadn’t been like this. His parents were pretty awesome, but both had come from privilege, and so some things were always slightly formal, no matter the circumstances. Sometimes that was good, and sometimes that was bad. 

Thor could practically _sense_ his father suss out Loki before he began the question and answer session. He decided that that was the point where he could legitimately begin to get nervous. His palms were sweating, and he had to wipe them on his jeans. His mother noticed and raised an eyebrow at him. 

“So, Loki, Thor said that you were from Norway?” 

Yes, Thor might have mentioned that at some point. He couldn’t remember what else he had told his father in response to pointed remarks over dinner, and started to panic. Just a little. 

“Um, yeah. I was born there,” Loki said, and put down his glass. “In Oslo.”

Thor’s father smiled, genuinely smiled, and something inside Thor loosened. _Common ground_. This was good. This was _excellent_. 

And then he found himself shut out of a conversation that waxed lyrical about Norway, with both Loki and Odin reminiscing and talking about places, people and events that Thor had no idea about. He was glad that they were getting on, and no screaming had yet taken place, and chose to sink back into the couch and just listen instead of getting annoyed. This, after all, was infinitely better than what his (apparently negative) mind had previously predicted. 

Frigga interrupted them with a call for dinner (Thor hadn’t even notice her disappear, but she was very light on her feet), and Thor’s stomach rumbled at the very mention. It reminded him that he was actually rather hungry, especially after the day’s previous, err, _vigorous activity_. It was also an embarrassing loud rumble and made both his father and Loki look at him. 

“…What?”

*

His mother had gone all out for dinner. Thor saw Loki’s eyes widen as they sat down, and he felt like pointing out that they certainly didn’t eat like this every day. Thor was sure he’d be 100 pounds overweight if they did. Also, he was not exactly a gourmet, and wasn’t entirely sure what the main dish was, apart from the fact that it was clearly pasta and clearly involved lashings of cream. He had to stop himself from reaching for thirds. Nothing like impressing the guy you brought home by overeating. 

Conversation continued over dinner, and eventually widened into school and the local area, both subjects in which Thor was well versed and could thus contribute. He knew he didn’t need to impress Loki – he was pretty sure their relationship was reasonably well established by now – but all the same, he wasn’t keen on appearing completely clueless when it came to participating in discussions that involved other people. So he interjected where he could, trying hard not to appear like he was trying, and generally didn’t make a fool of himself. 

He was quite ready to declare the evening a success. 

Of course, things never go the way you hope. 

His father seemed to have taken to Loki quite well – his so-called ‘interrogation’ hadn’t really amounted to much in the end, especially since Loki was so keen to talk with him about Norway, one of his favorite subjects. Thor wasn’t 100% sure, but he had an inkling Loki may have encouraged him towards that line of conversation for that exact purpose. Clever boy. 

He started to notice a slight change in his father when he asked Loki who his father worked for, and in what capacity. Thor didn’t know this either, so perked up his ears. 

“He’s worked for Jotunheim Industries for about twenty years,” Loki said. “Mainly in shipping and freight-forwarding.” 

Thor had never heard of Jotunheim Industries, but Odin clearly had. He saw his father sit up a little straighter, a strange look passing over his face. His business was law, so not really something that would cause him to cross Jotunheim’s path, surely?

“And his name?” Odin asked, his lone eye squinting. 

“Laufey Jenssen.” Loki didn’t hesitate in answering, but Thor could tell by the tone of his voice that he was a little confused by the line of questioning. 

But his father dropped it then, and abruptly moved onto asking about college and what were his plans, and Loki practically lit up with interest. Thor already knew what Loki’s college plans were – they had been somewhat thwarted by Briana’s arrival, but he was determined to achieve some form of college education and wouldn’t be put off by the extra demands that would be placed on him by having a child. Of course, he didn’t mention that to Odin, just said that he was planning on studying classical studies, though he wasn’t sure if he’d get into an Ivy League school he was hoping to do the best he could. 

That seemed to satisfy Odin immensely, and Thor did not fail to see the raised eyebrow that was presented in his general direction. It said ‘ _why can’t you be this vested in your education?_ ’ as well as ‘ _I hope his attitude rubs off on you_ ’. 

Thor winced. 

He had no aspirations for college, and he knew how much that disappointed his father. It was a constant bone of contention in their household. He just wasn’t academically minded or gifted, no matter how much his father wished he was. 

After a while, the conversation around education faded as they ran out of things to discuss, something that Thor was not disheartened about. They had finished their main course and his mother was bringing out dessert, something so utterly decadent looking that Thor was sure his arteries were clogging up just by looking at it. 

“Loki, I think you need to come over for dinner more often,” Odin said, completely straight-faced. Frigga swiped at him with a dish cloth, but that couldn’t hide her smile. 

Loki grinned and Thor was pleased to see him relaxed, and hoped his father had ended the part of the ‘interrogation’ that had seemed a little pressing before. He decided not to mention it and ate his dessert instead. 

It turned out his father was just waiting until they had finished and the table had been cleared to drop his bomb. 

In hindsight, Thor realized that that was probably a good thing. 

They were still around the table, nursing hot beverages – coffee for Odin, tea for Frigga, hot chocolate for Thor and Loki who shared a mutual dislike of the coffee bean, unlike what seemed like their entire year. Thor was playing with the marshmallows in his drink when his father put down his mug and raised himself just a little taller in his chair. 

Thor knew that look, and began to panic. Alas, there was nothing he could do to subvert whatever was about to come next, especially when he had no idea what it was. 

“So, Loki, how is your daughter?”

Yep. That was about the worst thing that Thor could think of. He froze in his chair, brain working overtime, trying desperately to think about whether or not he’d accidently let it slip at some point, and coming up blank. He had been incredibly careful. He felt like the world was crashing down around him, like everything that they had built up over the course of the evening had come to nought, and everything was just grinding to a halt. 

It felt like molten lava had been poured into his stomach. 

Beside him, Loki was going through what appeared to be several emotions – shock, then disbelief, then fear and anxiety, and then just plain old confusion. He looked at Thor, face questioning, and all Thor could do was shrug. 

“I didn’t say anything!” he said, hoping that Loki would believe him. He knew that Loki hadn’t kicked up a fuss about Odin knowing anything, but still, he had said that they were keeping it on the down-low and that’s what Loki would have been expecting. 

“Neither did I,” Frigga added, her hand frozen on the handle of her mug. “Odin?”

Thor stared at his father. Odin was stirring his coffee, peering down into the depths of his cup with a tiny smirk on his face, like he knew something no-one else did. And, well, apparently he did. 

Apparently, he had decided to keep everyone in suspense. The room was utterly silent, utterly still, with no-one bar Odin moving a muscle. 

“Odin,” Frigga said again, resting a hand on his arm. 

At this, he looked up. He let his spoon drop against the side of the mug. 

“I worked with your father,” he said, looking at Loki. “He was representing the workers at Jotunheim when they were restructuring and trying to lay off as many workers as they could. He’s a good man.”

Frigga made the tiniest noise, something like recognition, and settled back into her chair. Thor began to connect the dots, albeit slowly. 

In response to the still-confused look on Loki’s face, Odin went on. “I’m a lawyer. I specialize in employment and contractual law. A large part of my work involves Jotunheim Industries.”

Thor’s dots started going off in strange directions. “But… you’ve been in Norway. You can’t have met his father. They moved here after you left.”

Odin nodded slowly. “This has been going on for a long time, Thor. It started five months ago. I spent three weeks in Alaska speaking to the workers in the factories in Anchorage. I do believe that at the time, your father’s job was not in danger, but he still spoke out for the others.” He directed the last at Loki, who took it in, and then nodded, once. 

“You met him then?” Thor asked, still trying to make the dots connect. 

“I did. Your daughter had just been born, Loki.”

Thor instinctively turned to Loki, as did Frigga. But Loki was staring across the table at Odin. 

“He showed me pictures. And videos. He was incredibly proud, still is, from what I hear. He keeps me up to date. We get on quite well.”

At those words, Loki bowed his head. Thor had the instinctive feeling he needed to hide tears caused by the mention of how proud his father was, and so shuffled closer, sliding an arm around his waist, and tried to distract his parent’s attention by asking more of Odin while Loki surreptitiously wiped his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you say you knew him?” he asked. 

Odin shrugged. “Well, I didn’t know before tonight, did I? Perhaps I should have thought of it when you told me his name, but I made no connection at the time, although I knew they had moved here. We have plans to catch up over dinner next week.”

Thor was desperately trying to catch up and digest all of this. So his father knew Loki’s father, and they were basically friends, and Odin knew about Briana because Laufey told him, and so there had been no reason to hide it, but how were they to know that he already knew, and was this a coincidence? Loki and his family moving to their town – of all the thousands of towns throughout the States, it ended up being this one? 

But then a dot connected with another dot, and he had a neat, straight line in his head – Laufey worked for Jotunheim Industries, who had transferred him. So he needed to be in a town that contained one of Jotunheim’s offices. This wasn’t a particularly big town, a bit of an odd choice for a company that seemed to have offices everywhere, but Thor didn’t know enough about business to figure that one out. His father, whilst he was a partner in his own law firm, did work for Jotunheim Industries. So, in a way, it was all connected. 

“And that’s why you were in Norway. For Jotunheim.” Frigga said, her eyes sharp, mind even sharper. 

“Yes. Their head offices are in Oslo. We needed to get it all sorted out at the highest level, so it was easiest to just go there.”

And Loki had mentioned that only recently they’d found out his father’s job was safe. And it was because of _his_ dad, because of Odin. 

His head swirled.

Loki had recovered by now and sat up straighter, but still managed to lean into Thor, just a little. Then he said something that Thor hadn’t quite gotten the courage to do yet. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything about Briana.”

That made both Thor and Frigga protest, pointing out that they had decided it was best to ‘ease Odin into it’ and Loki was just going along with it, and the whole time Odin just sat there, a rather smug smile on his face. 

“It’s alright, lad,” Odin said suddenly, breaking through Thor and Frigga like a great ship. “You’d think by now they’d have learnt it’s no use hiding things from me.” 

At first, Thor thought it was serious, then his father was having to take a long draught from his coffee to hide the wide grin in his face, and he understood that Odin was enjoying this. _Really_ enjoying this. His mother, knowing his father better than anyone, was practically rolling her eyes. 

It was clear on the look on Loki’s face that he didn’t really know what to make of all this. Thor had worried about something like that happening, but he hadn’t imagined _these_ sorts of circumstances. His father had pretty much just picked up his book of contingency plans and thrown it out the window. He wasn’t impressed. 

“So, how is she?” Odin asked, one hand swinging wide over the table. 

Thor wanted to sink his face into his palms. 

Loki shrugged. “She’s good. She’s starting to crawl. Make some noises. Everything she’s meant to be doing at her age, which is good.”

“Excellent.”

Thor’s head was reeling. His father wasn’t _supposed_ to be reacting like this. He was meant to find the whole thing appalling, that his son was dating someone with a young child and he might be expected to look after said child. Thor had lost his footing; he had no idea where to go from here. It seemed that all he could do was stumble blindly forward and hope the earth didn’t fall out from beneath him. 

“You need to bring her over one day so we can meet her properly,” Frigga said, leaning forward on her elbows. “I would love to see her.”

Odin inclined his head in agreement. 

Loki nodded, his face a little blushed, quite cutely if Thor could comment. “I can do that.”

Thor thought that his father was probably agreeing in order to be polite – or, perhaps, just make sure that any potential adoptive grandchildren were acceptable (though, really, his father wasn’t _that_ bad, he was just being paranoid again) - but his mother was genuinely looking forward to meeting Briana. His mother attached herself to babies – anyone’s babies – almost fiercely, giving such unconditional love and affection that he sometimes thought she’d missed her calling – she would have adored working with babies. He hoped Loki was prepared to accept a voracious new grandmother for Briana. 

He felt a squeeze on his knee and looked over to Loki, who gave him a small smile, as if to say that everything was ok. And really, for now, everything was. So why couldn’t he relax?

They finished their drinks, the conversation having turned to Loki’s opinion of his new hometown (it was small, but that was good, and the people were nice, which was even better, and Thor couldn’t help but think of the people that Loki had had to get used to in Alaska) and then to some television program that Thor had never heard of but apparently his mother and Loki watched without fail. He just listened politely and shared a sneaky grin with his father. 

Before he knew it, it was 10.32pm and Loki was looking worried, having been away for a little longer than he’d expected. 

“She must be ok, or Ane would have phoned you,” Thor pointed out, which made Loki relax a little and shrug his shoulders. 

“That’s true. I just can’t help but worry though.”

“I know,” Thor said wryly. He’d noticed. 

“Come on, I’ll give you a lift,” Odin said, swinging his coat over his shoulders. 

Thor knew that Loki would protest and say that he could walk home, just to be polite, but it was completely not necessary and so he bet Loki to the punch, agreeing and saying – rather than suggesting – that he was coming too. 

Odin rolled his eyes but his lips were pointed upwards in a semblance of a smile, and Loki pressed his lips together so as not to giggle. Thor elbowed him. 

His mother rose to say goodbye, giving Loki a quick hug before holding his shoulders and reiterating her desire to meet Briana. Thor tried not to feel even slightly embarrassed. Loki seemed to understand, at least. 

It was pitch black outside, the moon nowhere to be seen, and Thor was glad that his father had offered to take Loki home. Even with the streetlights, it seemed a gloomy night, and he would have hated Loki to be out walking in it – though he knew he wouldn’t have let Loki leave on his own. A part of him knew that Loki was perfectly old enough to walk himself home, thank you very much, but a much larger part insisted that dark = dangerous and Loki = _his_ = protection. 

Thor became quite convinced for a moment that he was reverting to some sort of cave man state. 

They sat together in the back of his father’s car, Loki by the window and Thor in the middle, an odd place to sit but it afforded them _touch_ and the ability to speak so quietly that they thought Odin wouldn’t hear. Though, really, Thor wouldn’t have put it past him to be quite capable of hearing their whispers, or of bugging the backseat entirely. 

Loki didn’t even need to tell him his address, which at first seemed to alarm him until Thor reassured him that as the only family to have moved into their town in the past 6 months, everyone knew where he lived. Then he thought that over and realized it probably wasn’t as comforting as he hoped. 

He changed the subject. 

It was a quick ride though, and they pulled up sooner than Thor had expected. They stumbled out of the car, quite literally as Loki managed to catch a foot on the door on the way out and Thor happened to be holding onto him. The grass softened their fall and Odin didn’t laugh too loudly, so Thor got over it quickly. 

“Ugh,” Loki said eloquently as he stood up and brushed his clothes of imaginary dirt. “I’m not normally that uncoordinated.”

“Sure you aren’t,” Thor teased, making Loki smile and roll his eyes. 

“You’ve seen me in bed,” Loki whispered very very quietly, a devious glint in his eyes, and Thor promptly found himself speechless. And aroused. It was a disturbing situation when his father was three feet away. 

“My parents aren’t home yet,” Loki said suddenly. “Or our dads could have caught up again.”

“Do we want them to?” Thor asked in a stage whisper, making his father stick his head out the window and point out that they really weren’t planning on shipping anyone off to boarding school any time soon, but that situation was subject to change depending on extenuating circumstances, or compromising situations. 

Loki mouthed ‘Oops’ at Thor, making sure to exaggerate, and Thor pressed his lips together in an effort not to laugh. 

“Come on, I’ll walk you up,” he said to Loki, and held out his arm. 

“Gentleman,” Loki pointed out, but took his arm anyway. Thor could practically feel his father smirking behind them as they walked up the path to the house. 

“I hope tonight was ok,” Thor asked, a little nervous. While it hadn’t descended into some sort of vicious screaming match, it still hadn’t turned out quite the way he had thought it would go. 

Loki smiled at him. “I had a good time. Your parents are nice and your mom can really cook. The whole baby thing…. Yeah, that was unexpected, but that could have gone a lot worse.”

“Mmmm.” Thor agreed. He didn’t voice just _how_ bad he thought it could have gone. It seemed that even at his age, his father was still perfectly capable of surprising him. “My dad seems pretty ok about it.”

Loki inclined his head. “He did. I hope that doesn’t change.”

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t,” Thor said, with more bravado than he felt. 

“Uh huh,” Loki said, his eyes twinkling. They reached the door and stopped, both wanting to say goodnight a little more affectionately but Thor was very conscious of his father watching them from the car. He settled for reaching in and kissing Loki’s check, and murmuring “Goodnight” against his skin. Loki blushed and smiled, and reciprocated with his own kiss to Thor’s cheek, and whispered, “You know, I had a _really_ good time earlier,” before slipping inside and closing the door behind him. 

Thor just hoped his face wasn’t as bright red as he was thinking it was when he got back in the car. 

The ride home was a little awkward, as Thor had expected, but they didn’t end up saying anything, which he hadn’t expected. He was waiting for ‘the talk’, something along the same lines as what his mother had said to him, or perhaps appeals to be ‘careful’ and ‘not take it too far’ ( _too late anyway_ , Thor thought). But his father drove quietly and carefully, staring out the windshield into the dark as if it held the secrets of the universe. 

He didn’t understand his father sometimes. 

His mother was waiting for them when they returned home, the kitchen cleared and tidy and the dishes draining by the sink. Thor often wondered if she had some sort of magic, because her ability to clean and tidy seemed almost inhuman. It was something he had not inherited from her. 

She gave him a quick hug, as if they’d been away for a lot longer than 20 minutes, and smiled at Odin as she smoothed her hands down over the apron she wore over her clothes. She was nervous. She always did that when she was nervous. Thor sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. 

His father sat across from him, his mother next to him. The silence was deafening. 

Thor looked at the clock, at the picture on the wall behind his mother’s head, at the bread bin, anywhere but at his parents. He bit his lip and curled his hair behind his ears with his fingers. 

“He’s a good kid,” Odin said finally, leaning back in his chair and staring at Thor. Thor was waiting for the ‘but’. “But there is that little issue.” _Predictable_.

“I’ve had this conversation with mom,” Thor said, in a desperate attempt to avoid another one. 

Odin raised an eyebrow. He glanced at Frigga, who pursed her lips together in a smile. Thor knew she felt a little guilty about not telling Odin about Briana, but he also knew that she had nothing to worry about. This was his problem, not hers. 

“Oh? And how did that go?”

Frigga spoke up before Thor could even formulate a semblance of a reply. “We talked about it. About having to look after a child. Thor accepts that Briana is not his daughter but understands that the nature of their relationship means that he will have a lot of interaction with her. And that he would like to be involved in her life. I agreed.”

Thor looked at her. She had said nothing about her misgivings, of which she’d had plenty, if he recalled correctly. He decided nothing would be gained by contradicting her, and in any case, he knew his mother was shrewd and most likely had chosen those words for a reason. 

Odin nodded slowly, tapping one finger on the table. “Laufey is a good man. They have a strong family. He told me that Loki had made one mistake.” His hand lifted off the table and swept over the surface; Thor knew that it meant that ‘mistakes happen’. “His mistake happened to provide a child. Too young, perhaps, but from what I hear about Loki, and from what I gather from tonight, he’s an intelligent young man with good ambitions.” He frowned. “Maybe a good influence on you,” he said, looking at Thor, his look saying more than his words. _Focus on your education. It’ll take you far_. Thor was tense in his chair, almost too afraid to move for no good reason, but his father hadn’t yet indicated any negativity towards Loki, which both made him grateful and also made him hold his breath, for surely it was coming. “I do not, however, expect you to further neglect your studies because of either Loki or his child. Nor do I expect you to be providing for them in any way, shape or form.” Thor decided that what his father didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him. “Laufey is proud. He can provide for his family and his granddaughter without your aid.” Thor just nodded, and didn’t look at his mother. His father continued to tap on the table. “No more keeping secrets. And no mistakes.” He said the last word as if it was poisonous, and Thor looked up to see his father’s lone eye stare at him, open and deadly, and a shiver ran down his spine that had nothing to do with the breeze that floated through the open window. “Are we understood?”

Thor swallowed. “We are understood.”

His father stared at him for a moment more, and then smiled, and stood up from the table. “Good.” He clasped his hands together. “Coffee?” he asked Frigga, and suddenly everything was normal again. 

*

Thor collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. His body physically hurt, his muscles hard and tense, though there was little reason for that now. Everything was ok, really, the talk was over and done with – and it was brief, at least his father saw the reasoning in keeping things to the point – and being with Loki was ok, though the restraints put on him that had to do with Briana made him chafe. He _wanted_ to spend time with her, to buy her things, to see if he could be there for her. She was a part of Loki, and that in itself made her special. He only wished his father could see it that way. 

Part of him understood his parent’s viewpoints. He was still a kid, effectively, still in high school and meant to be studying, to make it into college and get a degree and get a good job and have a good family and live a good life. So, he was doing things a little out of order. And that was making his parents a little nervous. He got it, he really did, but at the same time he wished they understood what it was like to see Loki in Briana’s smile, to feel her energy lift him up and connect him to Loki in a way that he hadn’t thought possible, to see the love that radiated from Loki like an aura when he was with his baby. Maybe, with time, they would. 

For now, he knew what he had to do. Play it under the radar, not do anything drastic that would affect his parents attitude towards his relationship, perhaps work a little harder at school to try and press the image that being around Loki was rubbing off. Oh, and make sure to use condoms.

Definitely use condoms.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, another apology for the time it's taken to update :(. I was hoping to get quicker but not sure that will happen. But, again, it's not abandoned, updates will just be tortuously slow because I am evil like that. I've been severely distracted by grad school (damn deadlines) and the Weir-Voronov divorce (#TEAMJOHNNY!). 
> 
> Not actually sure where this chapter came from. It's not in my story plan. It just kinda grew from one throw-away line. We should be back on track in the next chapter folks. Don't mind the detour. 
> 
> I'll be updating my Tumblr (http://wicked-writings.tumblr.com/) in the next day or so with other fics I have on the burner.

Thor felt tired the next day, as if he was boneless, just floating along and letting life happen around him. He hadn’t slept well, and had woken early, surprising Loki at their meeting place along their route to school by being there first. At lunch he sat next to Loki, letting him talk, happy to listen and watch, and trying hard not to let on that he could tell Steve and Tony were holding hands under the table. 

Loki quietly asked him what was wrong, his green eyes filled with concern, the color so pretty that Thor smiled instead of answering, making Loki even more confused. 

“I’m fine,” Thor explained. “Just tired. I slept like crap.”

“Oh,” Loki said quietly. “Next time I’ll wear you out a little more.”

It said something about Thor’s current, depleted state of being that it took him a few moments to figure out what Loki even meant. Loki waited patiently while Thor worked his brain, eyes shining with subtle amusement. 

“Oh,” Thor said eventually. “Yeah. I’m up for that.” He was going to say more, but promptly forgot it and yawned instead. 

Across the table, Tony snorted. “Late night, big fella?” he asked, punctuating his sentence with an exaggerated wink at both Thor and Loki. 

Loki just rolled his eyes but Thor grinned stupidly, making the rest of the table holler and whistle, and Steve turn an interesting shade of red. The grin didn’t fade, making Loki punch him in the shoulder until it did. 

“Domestic abuse,” Clint said seriously, through a mouthful of half-cold pizza. “I’d sue, if I was you.”

“Your dad’s a lawyer, right?” Tasha asked, pointing her piece of pizza at Thor. 

“Yeah,” Thor said, and then he shut up, because he could _feel_ Loki glaring a hole through his shirt. 

“Well then,” Clint said. “No excuses.”

Tasha smirked into her pizza before winking at Thor. He wasn’t sure what she was winking about, but smiled back half-heartedly anyway. 

“Hey,” Loki whispered, leaning so close to Thor he could feel Loki’s breath on his cheek.

“Yeah?” He turned his head and Loki was right _there_ , just inches away, and all he had to do was lean forward a little and their lips would be touching and Loki would be melting into him and – 

“Are we getting cookies this afternoon?”

_Cookies?_ The cogs in Thor’s brain whirled wearily away, making him stare blankly in the meantime, until Loki prompted him again. 

“Thor. You remember. The Johnsons. The people we met yesterday?” Loki’s eyebrows were just about up in his hairline. 

“Oh. _Oh_. Yes. Yes we are.”

“Good,” Loki said, his face crinkling into a smile. “You are so damn adorable when you are sleepy.”

Thor wasn’t sure if he was meant to be embarrassed or flattered.

*

Loki met him after school, and insisted they take a detour past the local strip mall to procure something to wake Thor up a bit. He guzzled an energy drink and pocketed another one, because (as Loki pointed out) he wasn’t small, and it was likely one can just wasn’t going to be enough. It seemed to work though, and he felt more awake, or that might have just been because he was no longer at school. 

They walked slowly, and Loki asked what was wrong – because he had always been rather perceptive. Thor figured it was best not to keep it to himself, considering how it was about Loki in the first place, and he had no intention of letting anything get between them – nothing he could avoid, anyway. 

Thor told him about the conversation he’d had with his mother and father the previous night. Though they hadn’t strictly told him to stop dating Loki, he knew they had reservations – and they all had to do with Briana. As soon as he said it he felt terrible, because she was completely innocent – and he didn’t want Loki to feel ashamed. But he forgot that Loki had been to hell and back, and had accepted his situation with a grace and intelligence that many people could have never achieved. Loki just took his hand and smiled, and for the first time that day, Thor began to relax. 

*

Mr Johnson was in his front yard again as they approached that afternoon. The soil and compost bags had been sorted, and some loaded on a trailer parked halfway up the drive. He was bent over a wheelbarrow, the lone wheel lying next to him on the grass as he tightened the screws that held the legs to the barrow. 

They could hear him as they approached, muttering swear words under his breath as he struggled to tighten a particularly stubborn screw. 

“Afternoon,” Thor said amicably, trying hard not to smile. 

“Thor!” Mr Johnson exclaimed, dropping the screwdriver – with what seemed to be no little happiness at the thought – and climbing to his feet. Thor and Loki found themselves at the mercy of his vigorous handshakes again, but at least this time, Loki came prepared. 

“Come on, let’s not stand around here, I’ll rope you into something,” he said, and turned towards the house. “Come, come.” He waved a hand at them. 

Thor found himself suppressing another smile, and when he looked at Loki, he could see his eyes twinkling and his mouth trembling, and together they grinned at each other until they had it out of their systems. Thor wasn’t sure what it was about the Johnsons that made everyone around them happy – some people just seemed to ooze positivity, the sort that was catchy, and gave everyone a good mood. It was nice. 

Moira was in the kitchen, presiding over a large piece of meat that was apparently defying her every effort to cook it right through. She had her hands on her hips, looking at it in a very disapproving way, much the same way that Thor remember she would look at him when he would appear in her garden, covered head to toe in dirt after playing in the piles of soil. It would never last, though, because he’d get a telling off and then she’d put him in the bath, scrub him top to toe and send him home sparkling clean in one of her son’s outgrown shirts, always with a handful of cookies. He never admitted it to her, but sometimes he rolled in the dirt just for the attention. And the cookies.

“That meat not doin’ what it should again, Moira?” Mr Johnson asked. “I can pull out me belt.”

“Wouldn’t mind if you did, Mister,” she said, and then looked up. “Thor! You came!”

“Of course,” Thor managed to say before he was engulfed in a hug so ginormous the rest of the world seemed blanked out. He heard Mr Johnson laughing and Loki giggling and was glad they couldn’t see his red face. Though, he did quite enjoy her hugs – she was just full of love and life and sometimes, when he was a kid, he could sit in her lap for hours just soaking it up. She released him with a kiss to his cheek and then turned on Loki, exclaiming her excitement at seeing him again and not letting him get away without a hug as well. 

They sat down at the kitchen table with drinks and an enormous plate of peanut brownies. Thor was pestered about his school work (he might have exaggerated his test scores a little), the state of his bedroom (“don’t go there,” Loki had said traitorously), his mother (“very well”), his father (“too well”), and just what he was spending most of his time outside of school doing (at which the first thought he had was ‘Loki’, and turned a spectacular shade of scarlet). 

They were a little kinder on Loki, but in the course of the afternoon managed to find out so much about him there were things that even Thor hadn’t known. He half-suspected they were as concerned as his parents as to the suitability of Loki as a boyfriend and were just making sure their beloved quasi-adopted grandson was in good hands. Just as it had been with his parents, Loki passed with flying colors, and here there was no holding back – it was a comfortable environment, with the kind of loving support that had made Thor often go to them when he was upset when he was younger, instead of his mother (this was generally when he had been in trouble) and Loki told them about Briana. 

Thor hadn’t realized how much he needed this. The Johnsons had grandchildren, were reasonably advanced in age, had been there, done that. They listened to Loki as he talked about finding out he was pregnant, James ditching him, trying to raise a baby while juggling school, and the stigma that surrounded young parents that meant he had told very few people (that weren’t from his hometown). They listened sympathetically and without judgment, and Thor could see the relief on Loki’s face as he talked, that someone was listening and they understood. 

It broke the ice, in a way, and before he knew it Thor was talking about his family’s misgivings, how they weren’t sure this was the right path for him, but that they trusted him – and how this trust had started to weigh on him, just a little, because he didn’t want to lose it. Loki wrapped an arm around his waist and Thor leaned into it, unconsciously. 

The Johnsons didn’t interrupt or interject with suggestions or their own personal opinions, for which Thor was immensely grateful. They just listened and let Loki and he tell their own stories in their own words, without having to sugarcoat anything or gloss over any of the unsavory details. 

When they finished talking, Thor felt loose, almost empty, and in a strange way – relieved. It was all out of him now, and though the pressure was still there, it had been shared. It was like having rocks removed from his shoulders. Loki looked tired, as if it had taken most of his energy to speak, and he leaned his head against Thor. 

The cookies were long gone. They had been amazing, of course, and Thor felt a touch sick to the stomach for eating so many of them, but they had given him something to do with his hands which had seemed to make everything a little easier. There were crumbs down his shirt and he wiped them away surreptitiously, but of course Loki noticed and Thor felt him giggle silently. 

“Well,” Moira said, her hands tucked under her chin. “Goodness me.” She lent her head on her husband’s shoulder. “Thor, do you remember Graeme?”

Thor screwed up his face as he tried to remember. “Your son? Tall… he had tattoos on his forearm.”

Moira smiled as he remembered. “That’s right. He’s a lot older than you, I think he left home just before you were born. He was 23 and had just finished college. Do you know how old I was when he was born?”

Thor shook his head. 

“I was 17. We were married.”

“You were married? At 17?” Loki asked, his tone disbelieving. 

Moira nodded. “I was 17, Gary was 18. We were born here, lived here our whole lives. For such a long time it was the thing to do, you see. Marry young, start a family. Women were meant to be at home, cooking and baking and doing the housework, while men went out and earned a living. It was women’s job to run the household and have children. If you didn’t, people looked down on you. Things were changing, out in the big world, but here – well, things take a while to change.” She smiled, her eyes seeing the past, and for the first time, Thor looked beyond his childhood and saw her as a child. After a moment she looked back at Loki, and Thor could see that history written on her face. “We married, I had a child almost straight away. As I was supposed to.”

Thor wasn’t sure what he felt about that. He looked at Loki, but he was looking at Moira, hand on his chin, interest and emotion written on his face. 

“Was that what you wanted?” Loki asked, his voice strange. 

“It didn’t matter what I wanted. It was what was expected. If I hadn’t had children, if I hadn’t looked after the house, there would have been questions from his family, from mine, from the community. Women had a role that they were expected to fill. Mine was to have children.”

“But you loved him.”

Moira leaned forward. “Of course I did.” Her face was full of memory, and of sympathy and love, as well. “He was my world. Gary too, of course. But…” She sat back in the chair, and closed her eyes. “Would that have been my choice if I had had one? No.” She opened her eyes again. “I always wanted to travel. To see the world. To go to college, to meet new people, try new things. And, I did it. When the children had grown up, we were still in our early forties. So, we travelled, we meet new people, we tried new things. I don’t know if you remember, Thor, but we went to Europe for a year once and I brought you back some clothes and toys.”

The dim memory of strange clothes crept into Thor’s consciousness. He remembered a box, full of clothes and toys – toys he had never seen before. And food – candies that were bitter, some that were extra sweet. His mother had said they had come from a place very far away, which was why they were so strange. “I remember.”

Moira nodded and smiled. “Then, when we had finished travelling, I went to college. I got my degree, in English literature. Not something that would get me into a high class career, but I enjoyed it and it made me happy. Gary built up his business, and here we are now. We have three beautiful children, 7 wonderful grandchildren, and there is nothing more that I want out of my life than I have right now.” She leaned forward, so that she was closer to Loki. “I know things aren’t the same these days. I know it must be incredibly hard for you. But at the end of the day, it’s worth it. It’s worth everything you can throw at it. So, lad, don’t you think your life is over. It’s just began. You just got a headstart.”

Thor saw Loki bite his lip, hard, his eyelashes wavering. He rubbed his back, feeling the warmth of his skin through his clothes, and felt such a wave of thankfulness for the Johnsons that he had never felt for anyone before. 

“And you, Thor, don’t you worry about your parents. They’ll worry, don’t you think they won’t, but I know them. You think they got to where they are without making mistakes? I’m not saying this is a mistake, but that they trust you. And believe you me, if your father really was upset at any of this, he would have locked you in the basement until you were 20.”

That made Loki snort and then rapidly wipe his eyes while everyone pretended not to notice. Thor slid his arm around Loki’s shoulder and pulled him into his chest, unashamed of affection in front of his faux-grandparents. Loki relaxed into him, and Thor felt him sigh. He hadn’t realized how much they both needed that. External gratification – it was a good thing. 

The cookies had also helped. 

Moira stood up to get another round of drinks when Loki’s cellphone started beeping. He groaned and fished it out of his jeans, holding it up to the light to read the display. Thor could feel his body tense and tilted his head to see what the text said, but Loki lowered his phone before he could. 

“I have to go home, Briana won’t stop crying,” Loki said, his voice laced with anxiety. He stood up and slung on his jacket. “I’m so sorry.”

“Is she ok?” Thor asked, standing up in a hurry and almost knocking the table over in the process. 

Loki looked at him, and for a moment Thor could almost it, the panic and worry that showed so clear on his face. He grabbed for Loki’s hand and squeezed it tight. “Probably just tired,” Loki said, but his voice sounded choked. 

“But she normally settles well, doesn’t she?” Thor pointed out, before he realized it was really the wrong thing to say. Something dark crossed over Loki’s face before he nodded curtly, and Thor felt like the worst boyfriend on earth. 

“It’s ok, Loki, you get home,” Moira said, and gave Loki a hug as they stepped away from their chairs. “Gary can run you around if you like, save you walking.”

Thor knew that Loki’s first reaction was to be polite and say no, but he knew that the Johnsons’ would have been pleased to be able to help. “That would be great,” he said, before Loki could formulate his response. He felt Loki’s fingernails digging into his hand and winced a little before discretely turning to him and nodding. Loki relaxed a little, but he still stood tense, like a deer ready to run. 

“Come on,” Mr Johnson said, grabbing a set of keys from a hook by the door. “I’m afraid the car smells a little like soil but you get used to it after a bit.”

Thor and Loki grabbed their bags from the floor and followed. 

*

What was a 15 minute walk on foot was a 2 minute journey by car, and Thor caught the expression of gratefulness on Loki’s car as they reached his home in warp speed. 

“Thank you so much,” Thor said to Mr Johnson, leaning in his car window. “Say thank you to Moira too for the cookies.”

“Will do,” Mr Johnson said, cocking a finger to his forehead in a salute and smiling before putting the car into gear and tooting as he drove away. 

Loki was already at the front door. Thor slipped in behind him and heard Briana’s wails before he even saw her. Ane was walking her back and forth, trying to soothe her, but she looked frazzled and Briana was not quieting. 

“How long has she been crying?” Loki asked, his face lined in worry as he took Briana from her. 

“She started grizzling after lunch and it just got worse after that,” Ane said. “I think she’s running a temperature.”

Briana clung to Loki, her hands fisted in his shirt. Loki kissed the top of her head and tried to hush her but she wasn’t having any of it. He felt her skin and Thor heard him gasp. “Where is the thermometer?” he asked. 

“Bathroom,” Ane said, and without hesitating left to fetch it. 

Feeling a little useless, Thor asked if he could do anything. Loki looked up, almost surprised to see him there, but the look disappeared quickly to be replaced by something akin to relief. “Could you get a damp cloth? There are clean cloths on the counter.”

Thor could do that. He rinsed a cloth under cold water and squeezed it out before returning to Loki’s side, where he’d sat himself on the couch. He handed it over and watched as Loki smoothed the cloth over Briana’s forehead. She scowled at the feel and screwed up her face, eyes leaking tears. It didn’t stop her wailing, though, and Thor could practically feel Loki’s helplessness. 

“I found it.” Ane sat on the other side of Loki, holding a box. She pulled out a thermometer and asked Loki to hold Briana still. She held the thermometer in Briana’s ear and Thor heard it _click!_ before she held it up to read the temperature. 

“103.8 degrees.”

Thor had no idea if that was good or bad, but the way that Loki’s face paled told him everything. “She was fine this morning, how could it get so high so quickly?”

Ane shook her head. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I’m going to call the doctor, ok?”

Loki nodded. “Please.” He turned to Thor. “Could you please fill her sippy cup with water? It’s on the coffee table.”

Thor spotted it easily, considering it was bright pink and purple. He grabbed it and filled it with water from the sink, rinsing another cloth while he was at it. He handed both to Loki, who swapped the now warm cloth for the cool one and attempted to get Briana to drink. 

She rejected it at first, screwing up her face and trying to squirm out of Loki’s hold. 

“Come on baby, just a mouthful, ok?” Loki pleaded with her, trying to coax her to drink. She gave in after a minute or two, swallowing a little, but that was all she would take and started to scream when Loki asked for more. 

Loki sighed with frustration and Thor felt helpless, unable to _change_ the situation in a way that could relieve Loki of the pain he was feeling on behalf of his daughter. All he could do was wrap an arm around Loki in support, something he felt was akin to putting a bandaid on a war wound. 

Ane came back into the room, disconnecting the call. “The doctor’s office says we should bring her in. Her temperature is too high.”

“Can you call mom?” Loki asked, over Briana’s cries. 

Ane shook her head. “I tried. She’s not picking up. I think she’s in a meeting.”

“What about dad?” Loki’s voice was raised; high pitch. 

Ane’s face crumbled. “He’s in Lone Rocks today, remember? It would take him at least an hour just to get back here.” Thor thought she was being optimistic. His father often had to go into Lone Rocks for business and it – literally – drove him crazy. 

Loki looked like he was on the verge of crying. “What’s the matter?” Thor asked, not sure why Loki was panicking.

“I don’t have a car while Loki’s parents are both at work,” Ane pointed out, sitting down heavily in an armchair. “We can always call an ambulance if she gets worse, Loki.”

At that, Loki _did_ start to cry. All Thor could do was sit there, feeling damn useless, watching as tears rolled down his boyfriend’s cheeks. He lent forward to wrap his arms around Loki, letting him bury his head into his neck, where he could feel the damp tears slide down his skin. When he was younger his mother would let him cry out his frustrations or tantrums in her arms, or, if he was sick, lie in them all night long. He remembered her embrace, and though he wasn’t sure if his arms were quite as comforting, he hoped they were at least doing _something_. Considering he couldn’t do much else. 

Or…

It hit him like a slap in the face, and he almost jumped, making Loki lift his head in confusion, his eyes red and puffy. 

“What?” he asked, his voice thick with stress. Thor was still working through it in his head, and so all he could do was stare at Loki for a moment, who was looking more and more confused by the second. “Thor?”

“I’ll be back in a second, ok? I’m just gonna call my mom.” 

Loki didn’t say anything, just leant back against the couch and lifted Briana until she was over his shoulder, still wailing her discomfort. Thor felt bad for leaving, but he had to give it a go. 

He went into Loki’s room, as that was the only other room he was comfortable going into, and he wasn’t planning on calling his mother in the bathroom. She answered after a few rings, for which Thor was immensely grateful. 

“Darling! How are you? Are you home for dinner?” she asked. There was noise in the background, so she wasn’t at home. 

“Mom! I um, I’m at Loki’s.” 

“Well, that’s fine. Is something the matter?”

Thor suddenly realized he wasn’t sure what to say. “Well, kinda.” He paused for a moment, well aware that his mother was waiting for him to speak, and probably wondering what on earth he was phoning for. “Well, it’s a bit complicated. Briana’s sick, she has a fever and needs to go to the doctor but we can’t get her there, Loki’s parents are both at work and Loki’s grandmother can’t get hold of them.”

As soon as he finished the sentence he realized that what he was asking was kind of awkward. He had no right to ask his mother to do something for people she barely knew. He felt a bit stupid and closed his eyes in frustration, swearing internally. If the wall wasn’t so far away he’d smack his head on it. 

There was a pause on the other end of the line, as if his mother was either waiting for him to continue and actually tell him the problem, or she’d figured it out and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. Unable to figure out which one it was, he fumbled onwards, like an idiot in the dark without a flashlight. 

“You can say no if you want and I get it and it’s a bit strange but Loki’s really upset and Briana is crying and I can’t do anything and it all -”

“Thor.” Her voice broke through his rambling like a light in the darkness. “It’s alright.” She laughed a little, not cruelly, but there was a touch of amusement to it that had Thor both flushing a little and smiling. He sat down on Loki’s bed, trying very hard not to remember what they were doing on it yesterday, and stared down at the carpet. “I’m just doing some shopping, but I was about to head home. I can come round. What number is it?” 

The relief poured through him like a flood. “2389,” he rattled off. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s ok, darling,” she said, with the voice of a parent now so used to going above and beyond for her offspring that barely anything could make her even bat an eyelid any more. 

“Thank you,” he said one more time, almost unable to keep himself from saying it. 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Ok -” he takes a deep breath, because he was just about ready to say ‘thank you’ again, and this conversation had been awkward enough without repeating himself like an idiot. “See you soon,” he said, instead, and clicked the conversation away. 

He sat for a moment more, just breathing, settling himself, but too anxious to sit completely still. His foot jiggled on the floor as his hands twisted around each other. Then Briana wailed – even louder than she had been before – and he was up like a shot, restless and worried. 

When he got back into the living room, Loki and Ane were bent over Briana, fussing. Loki had removed her jumpsuit until she was just in her diaper, another cool, damp cloth draped over her forehead. The windows were all open, a breeze swirling in but doing little to lower the ambient temperature. He rubbed a hand over Loki’s lower back, and held in his surprise at how tense and rock hard he felt under his palm. It wouldn’t have helped. 

“My mom… she can come pick us up,” he said quietly, suddenly second-guessing his idea to ask his mother for help. What if Loki didn’t appreciate him fussing so much or interfering? What if they’d had another idea and didn’t need his mother’s help? He backed off, just a little, unsure if Loki wanted him so close while he was trying to help Briana. 

Loki stood up straight suddenly, and for a moment Thor felt like he’d blown it. But then Loki smiled, one that spoke of intense gratefulness rather than annoyance, and Thor could have sagged with relief. 

“That would be amazing,” Loki said, reaching out for Thor’s hand. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s alright,” Thor replied, feeling a small rush of pleasure that he’d done something right. “She’s on her way.”

“I’ll get the carseat,” Ane said, giving Thor a kiss on the forehead as she passed on her way to the garage. He was so used to it by now that he didn’t even blush. 

Briana interrupted with another earsplitting wail, and Loki turned back to her, concerned. But there was nothing more he could do, and settled for picking her up and putting her over his shoulder. He walked around the room with her, trying to hush her, but Thor personally thought he’d have better luck trying to part the Atlantic. He figured, though, that Loki couldn’t handle _not_ doing something, no matter how futile. 

Ane brought in the carseat, then found Briana’s diaper bag and laid it next to the seat, before doing all the sensible things that only occasionally occur to Thor, like shutting all the windows and making sure the doors were locked so they wouldn’t be delayed when his mother arrived. Even then, it was still another few minutes before she arrived, pulling up outside in her Lexus. 

“She’s here,” Thor said to Loki, though it was nearly impossible to hear over Briana’s screams and so he had to tap him on the shoulder and play charades instead. 

He gathered up the carseat and the diaper bag, letting Loki out of the door first while Ane shut up the house behind them. His mother was waiting for them by her car, and came forward when she saw Loki with Briana. 

Thor had envisaged his mother’s first meeting with his boyfriend’s daughter a little differently. In his imagination, Briana was her usual smiley, happy self, squealing and giggling and generally being adorable while everyone (read: his mother) made a huge fuss over her. Instead, she was screaming and upset, her cheeks blotchy and red and covered in tear tracks. 

“Oh dear,” Frigga said, concerned. “She’s not happy, is she?”

All Loki could do was shake his head. He stood still while Frigga met Briana properly for the first time, stroking back her hair and cooing at her, feeling her cheeks and her forehead and gasping at the heat. “Poor thing.”

Loki nodded, then gave a small smile. “I swear, she’s normally a lot nicer.”

That made Frigga laugh. “I don’t doubt you. But rest assured, I have had my fair share of screaming, crying babies.” She grinned at Thor then, making him flush and Loki smile again. “Come on, let’s get her in the car.”

Thor put the diaper bag on the roof of the car before opening the car door and depositing the carseat on the backseat. He wriggled it around until it seemed to fit into place, and then stopped, because the hell if he knew what he was doing. There were straps everywhere. 

“Uh,” he said, and deferred to Loki, who had passed Briana to Frigga at her request. Thor wasn’t sure he would have wanted an armful of squally, snotty baby but perhaps after you’d had your own you got used to excess bodily secretions and loud noises. 

Ane had already introduced herself to Frigga, which Thor belatedly realized that he probably ought to have done, but it was too late now. His mother was used to him cherry picking his manners and had long given up trying to convince him to do otherwise, and hopefully Ane had realized he was preoccupied and hadn’t meant any disrespect. Hopefully. 

But they were talking quietly and didn’t look concerned, and then Loki tugged on his sleeve and showed him the properly secured carseat. 

“That’s a lesson for another day,” Loki said with a quick grin, and Thor wondered just what else he needed to learn. 

Frigga handed over her precious bundle and Loki got her secured in the carseat, fighting her almost every inch as she protested at being tied in. But eventually he got there and she gave up, glaring at him through red, tear-rimmed eyes. Loki didn’t look pleased at winning; rather, he looked upset that he’d had to force her. Thor couldn’t think of anything useful to say, and so settled for guiding him around to the other side of the car so he could slide in the middle. At the last second he remembered the diaper bag and pulled it in with them. 

Ane was in the front next to Frigga, telling her where to go, and Loki had buckled himself in and had gone back to fussing over Briana. Thor settled the bag in his lap and sat back for the ride. 

*

Loki didn’t bother to unstrap Briana when they arrived, and carried her inside in her carseat. Thor wasn’t very familiar with this doctor’s offices, as they used the other clinic three blocks away – the same doctors his family had been with his entire life. There, they knew him by name and apparently, everything he’d ever done – good and bad. He thought that maybe it was a good thing they hadn’t gone to his doctors. He would have gotten the Spanish Inquisition from the nurses. 

A nurse was waiting for them, at least, and they were shuffled into a cubicle. Thor had expected to be told to wait elsewhere, but they didn’t flinch at the idea that one baby had two adults and two teenagers with her. Ane and his mother were chatting as they waited for the doctor, and it happened to be in Norwegian so he had no idea what they were saying. He hoped they weren’t talking about him. 

He was inordinately glad that they were getting on. 

Briana was getting more and more irritated, annoyed by being restricted, and Loki unbuckled her. He pulled her onto his lap and asked Thor for some baby wipes from the bag, to deal with the mess on her face. The diaper bag was crammed full of things but very well organized, and he found the baby wipes exactly where Loki had said they would be. He pulled out one for Loki, who set about trying to clean Briana up, and then a clean rag when he was asked for one. 

Thor wasn’t sure if Loki’s motherly instincts were right on the ball or if it was a coincidence, but the second that Loki tucked the clean cloth up on Briana’s chest she promptly threw up all over it. Thor didn’t appreciate the sight and looked away, his stomach queasy, but Loki didn’t blink an eye and neither did Ane or his mother, who both helped with the clean-up. Thor shuffled on his seat uncomfortably. 

“Where’s the doctor?” he heard Loki ask Ane anxiously, who was quick to reassure him. 

“I’m sure it won’t be long, sweetheart.”

Thor knew as well as Ane that that wasn’t much of a comfort, but it was the best they could do. Ane and Frigga had retaken their seats after helping Loki clean up, and Thor felt a touch guilty at his uselessness and so slid an arm around Loki’s waist. He wasn’t sure how helpful that was either, but Loki leaned into him and rested his head on his shoulder. 

It was only a few more minutes before the curtain shielding the cubicle was swept to one side and a tall, pleasant-looking woman stepped inside.

She seemed to recognize Loki and Ane and said hello, before introducing herself to Frigga and Thor as Dr Samantha Longren, or Sam for short because ‘Doctor’ was too formal. She was all business after that and asked Loki to lay Briana on the examining table. Despite Loki being as gentle as he could she screamed her lungs out, though Sam seemed barely phased. 

She asked Loki a myriad of questions, including several that made Thor wish he wasn’t in the room. There were some things he didn’t need to know about Briana’s toileting habits. He could hear his mother chuckling softly beside him at the look on his face. He turned to her and her raised eyebrows and smile said everything - _this is what you’ve gotten yourself into!_

Thor resigned himself to getting used to it. 

Sam checked Briana’s temperature again. It was 104.6 this time, and even Thor – with his very limited medical knowledge – knew that something wasn’t right. Sam explained that fever was useful – it meant that Briana’s body was fighting whatever was making her sick – but she was concerned at the high temperature and how quickly it had come on. 

She started to explain the various ailments that could be causing the fever, and Thor found himself looking around the room out of sheer curiosity. Nothing could prepare him for the giant jar of condoms that he saw though, and for a moment he became transfixed by them – caused by a strange combination of the thought that he had never seen so many condoms in the one place before (outside of a pharmacy), the wonder that they were just sitting there – right in everyone’s faces! –, slight discomfort by the fact that they were in the same room as his mother and he, and curiosity – were they free? Would anyone notice if he slipped a few?

He was contemplating a few different ideas of how to get his hands on a couple without his mother knowing – really, there were some things she didn’t need to know – when a gasp of horror from Loki jerked him out of his thoughts. He was up on his feet in a second flat and at Loki’s side, and it took him a few moments to realize that Briana was having a seizure. 

Sam was bafflingly calm, reassuring Loki that it was ok, it would go away, but Loki was _terrified_ and Thor could feel him shake next to him. He could tell that Loki was only just barely restraining himself from reaching for her, but Sam was there making sure she wasn’t going to roll off the bed. Thor, not sure what to make of this and feeling rather sick, slid his arms around Loki, letting him clutch at his hands in a poor exchange of being able to hold his baby. 

Thor tried not to watch, but it was hard, and he felt like his stomach was filling with boiling water – horror, it was horror, and desperation and _fear_. He wanted Sam to do _something_ , not just stand there. Loki was crying and again, Thor just felt absolutely helpless. 

The seizure started to die down, and Thor heard his mother release the breath she had been holding. Ane was pale, her face drawn, one hand grasping Loki’s shoulder. 

“Is she ok?” Loki asked, his voice trembling. Tears stained his cheeks, and Ane busied herself with finding tissues and being very grandmotherly as she cleaned his face. 

“It was a febrile seizure,” Sam said, checking Briana over. “Sometimes it happens when children have very high fevers. She shouldn’t have another one.”

“What do you think?” Ane asked, quietly. Thor noticed that she had a handful of tissues for herself. 

“I think it might be a good idea to take her to hospital, run a few tests to make sure it isn’t something like meningitis. I don’t think it is,” she said quickly, before Loki could have a full on freak out. “She doesn’t appear to have any other symptoms at this stage. But meningitis doesn’t follow a rule book. Considering the seizure, her temperature and her previous health history, I’ll refer her to the hospital as a priority right now.”

Loki just nodded, his eyes spilling over with tears again. Thor tried to make himself useful by procuring more tissues. 

“Are you happy to drive her there or should I call an ambulance?” Sam asked. 

Loki shrugged, looking at Ane, rather helplessly. 

“How long would it take for an ambulance to get here?”

Sam pursed her lips. “Hard to tell. Maybe 10 minutes?”

“We could to get the hospital by then by driving,” Frigga pointed out. She picked up her handbag and her keys, and that was that. 

Loki picked up Briana very carefully, as if she might break, though he refused to put her back in her carseat just yet. She grizzled in his arms, her tiny face screwed up. Loki looked just as miserable. 

Thor picked up her carseat slowly, his arms heavy. He wanted to do _something_ for Loki but he had a feeling that anything he could do, probably wouldn’t help. At least, not in a practical sort of way. He let everyone else filter out of the room first, lingering. 

His mom was waiting for him outside. “Are you alright?” she asked him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. It was familiar and warm and so comforting he sagged into her, not realizing how heavy and tense his shoulders were until he relaxed them. 

He nodded dumbly. “This sucks,” he mumbled, unable to think of anything better, lest of all to describe how he felt. 

She squeezed his arm and leaned up to kiss the side of his forehead. “She’ll be ok. So will he. You did the right thing by calling me.”

Thor smiled at her, a little lopsidedly. This afternoon had gone from good to bad to even worse and had felt him feeling awful. He was worried about Briana and worried about Loki, and worried about dragging his mother into this. God he hoped she wasn’t going to say _I told you so._

They kept walking, Thor lugging the carseat in front of him. They found Loki and Ane by the receptionist, filling out swathes of forms, and he could tell that Loki was pissed that they couldn’t just get going. He had Briana in one hand and a pen in the other, and she was not happy at the lack of attention. 

Without thinking, Thor put down the carseat and reached for Briana. “Here,” he said, and slid his hands under her arms. She threw him a filthy look and for a second he was worried she was going to throw up on him out of spite. Loki let her go with a quick smile before turning back to his papers. 

Briana settled into the crook of his shoulder and let her head rest against his collarbone. She was still wailing and grizzling but not as loudly as before, and Thor wasn’t sure if this was good or bad. Maybe she was feeling a little better, or perhaps she was getting tired and losing her energy, which wouldn’t be good either. He could feel a damp spot spreading on his shirt, and panicked before half a second before realizing that a) it was coming from her mouth, and she was not spewing, and b) she was wearing a diaper. 

Relieved, he cradled her head, bending down to kiss her forehead. She screwed her face up but let him do it without biting his nose off. 

“Can you grab me a cloth from the bag?” Thor asked his mom. He looked up to see her smiling fondly at him, and felt his cheeks redden. “Uh, I mean, in there somewhere…” 

“I’ll find one,” she said gently, and rummaged through the pockets until she found a clean cloth. Thor tucked it in between Briana and his shirt, and was thankful to see that the application of a cloth wasn’t actually a cue for her to puke. 

“Is she ok with you?” Loki asked suddenly, and Thor realized that he’d finished the paperwork. 

“She’s fine,” Thor said, smiling, steadfastly ignoring the increasing wails of despair. 

Loki snorted and pressed his head against Thor’s shoulder. “Shhhhh….” he whispered to Briana, who only cried louder. 

“Come on,” Ane said, wrapping an arm around Loki’s shoulder. “Let’s get her to the hospital so they can cool her down.”

Loki nodded and took her hand, leading them outside. 

*

Thor sat on an uncomfortable plastic white chair that squeaked ominously every time he moved. His mother sat next to him, perched carefully on the edge of hers, cradling a Styrofoam cup of steaming coffee. Thor hadn’t been able to eat or drink anything, too nervous to think he was capable of keeping anything down. 

Loki and Briana had been ushered into a room in the pediatric ward when they had arrived at The Harry. Ane had followed them in for support, leaving Thor and Frigga outside to wait. There was no use in them crowding the room. Thor jigged his knee, his Converse slapping up and down on the tiles until his mother settled a hand on his leg to stop him. He smiled at her nervously. “She’ll be ok, won’t she?”

Frigga took a long sip of her coffee before she answered. “Of course she will. She’s in the right place.”

Thor nodded, still so nervous that he didn’t realize he carried it on for a good minute or so. Frigga smiled quickly into her coffee. “Are you sure you don’t want a soda?” she asked. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, stroking a hand through his hair, and Thor realized she wasn’t _really_ asking about his lack of need for a drink. He bit his lip. 

“I’ll be fine once I find out she’s ok.”

Her smile was fond and knowing. She looked at him for a moment. “I’m proud of you, you know.”

“For what?” he asked, shaking his head. 

“For this. Now, I’m going to go phone your father so he doesn’t panic when neither of us come home. I’ll be back in a moment.” She gave him a final pat on the top of his head and then he was alone. 

He sighed and sat back in his chair. It protested and threatened to splay its legs, sending him crashing to the ground, but it just gave another groan instead and settled begrudgingly in place. He rested his hands tentatively on the arms, readying himself to spring out as soon as it realized it couldn’t cope after all. 

The Harry was quiet around him. Every now and again a nurse or doctor would hurry past, their heels clicking rhythmically on the tiles. There were few patients that he could see, though most of course would be sequestered in a room or cubicle like Briana. The smell of disinfectant and bad coffee was persuasive and sickly, and made him wrinkle his nose. 

“Thor?”

He nearly jumped out of his seat. The chair gave a wail like a death cry and he decided to jump ship before it collapsed. It felt better to be standing anyway. “Is she ok?” he asked, nervously folding his hands together, startled at how sweaty they were. 

Ane closed the door behind her. “They’re running a test for meningitis but we won’t have the preliminary results for another few hours. So they’re moving her to a room and they’ve given her medicine to bring down her fever. We just have to wait it out.”

Thor let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “Ok,” he said, nodding his head slowly. “Um, can I see her?” _And Loki,_ he thought. He figured Loki was probably going out of his head at the moment and it hurt not being there. 

“In a minute. They have to get the room ready and then she can go down and you can see her. There’s no room up here so we’re going to maternity.” She smiled, and Thor took solace in the fact that she could. It made his stomach unclench, just a little. 

“Maternity. Ok.” Then it made him laugh too, which was almost heavenly. 

“Your mom still around?”

Thor tilted his head in the direction of the entrance. “Gone outside to call my dad. Make sure he doesn’t freak out when we aren’t home.”

“Good idea. I need to call Loki’s mom again to let her know what’s happening. Actually, I’ll go do that now. Why don’t you come in and keep Loki company until we’re ready to move?” 

Thor couldn’t say ‘yes’ fast enough. 

*

The room was quiet. It took Thor a moment or two to realize why it was strange; Briana had stopped crying. She was in a transparent baby bassinet in the middle of room, with Loki crouched over her, legs folded underneath himself as he sat perched on a chair. The rest of the room was empty; the nurses and doctors had disappeared through another door. 

“How is she?” Thor asked, trying to keep as quiet as possible, he had no wish to send Briana off into another screaming tantrum just because he couldn’t keep his voice down. 

Loki looked up, startled. “Sorry, I thought you were Ane.” He smiled at Thor, though it wasn’t hard to see it was tired and strained. “She’s doing better. Way better. They got her temperature down a little.”

There was another chair right beside Loki’s, and Thor made good use of it. Unlike the white chair outside, this one made no protest when he eased himself into it. “She looks better.”

And she did. She was still red and blotchy, but she seemed to be sleeping and wasn’t so restless as she had been. Loki was stroking her side softly, running a gentle finger up and down her stomach. “Yeah. Doesn’t she.” He sighed and rested his head against the side of the bassinet. He looked exhausted. 

Thor felt his heart clench. He shifted closer to Loki, unsure of what to say but offering comfort in the form of a hug instead. Loki let his head drop onto Thor’s shoulder, and a moment later seemed to finally relax, pressing himself into Thor. He took Loki’s weight against him, grateful just for that, to be able to hold him. They sat there for a while, until he was sure that Loki was nearly asleep, and Thor made sure to keep one eye on Briana.

He wasn’t sure how long it’d been when the door opened quietly. One of the nurses poked her head inside, careful to be quiet. “Everything ok?” she whispered. Thor nodded. “Good.” She held up an index finger. “We’ll be in to move her in a minute.” She smiled quickly, and then she was gone. 

Thor rested his head against Loki’s. “You awake?” he asked. Loki grunted, and Thor took it as a yes. “You have a minute to wake up properly.” Loki grunted again.

It took the full minute. By the time the nurse came in again to fetch them, Loki was sitting upright, mostly conscious. Briana didn’t stir as they wheeled the bassinet out, which Thor figured was a good sign. Ane and his mother were waiting outside the room, faces ruddy from standing outside. 

“Did you talk to mom?” Loki asked, his face and voice hopeful. 

Ane nodded. “She’s on her way. She’ll be here soon.”

Loki looked like he was about to cry with relief. Thor tucked an arm around his waist and pulled him closer, pretending not to notice when Loki sniffed into his chest. 

They wound their way through the corridors of the hospital. Thor tried to keep track of all the twists and turns but had to give up, wondering how on earth such a small hospital could be so confusing. With the confidence of an institutionalized staff member, the nurse led them to a room in the maternity ward. 

“I’m sorry we couldn’t keep her on the pediatric ward, but no room…” The nurse made a sympathetic face and shrugged her shoulders. “The nurses’ station is just down the corridor if you need them. Don’t be afraid to use the button. The doctor has already briefed them and they know what to do. He’ll be back in an hour or so to check on her again.” With that, she nodded, and turned on her heels, clacking her way back down the corridor. 

There was a single bed in the suite, which Loki gratefully heaved himself up onto. They wrangled Briana’s bassinet close to the bed and Thor slid up next to Loki, while Ane and Frigga made themselves comfortable in armchairs. 

It was going to be a long wait. 

*

Loki had lain down to rest, and so Thor sat at the edge of the bed to watch over Briana. He kept one hand on Loki’s waist and the other on the edge of the bassinet. He resisted the urge to touch her, quite certain that she would sense it was him and wake up only to scream down the hospital again. Ane and Frigga had found gossip magazines from a table down the corridor and were happily occupied, accompanied by myriad cups of coffee. 

Thor wasn’t sure what time it was when there was a gentle knock on the door. A moment later it opened quietly, and Farbauti slipped in carefully. She looked worried, her face pale and drawn. “How is she?” she asked, closing the door behind her. 

“She’s better, sleeping. They were able to bring her temperature down a little.” Ane rose from her chair to give Farbauti a hug. For the first time, Thor really saw them as mother and daughter – a very worried daughter. 

Frigga put down her magazine and stood up, and Thor, his brain beginning to catch up, decided to remember his manners. “Oh, um, this is my mom, Frigga. Mom, this is Loki’s mother, Farbauti.” Again, not really the time or place he had wanted their mothers to meet. They greeted each other with smiles, the kind of knowing smiles that made Thor uncomfortable because he sensed they were now in cahoots together. This was dangerous. 

Farbauti cooed over Briana – and was able to touch her without waking her up, and Thor was _not_ jealous, thank you very much – and then his mother commented on how cute she was – even red and splotchy?! – and then they were two baby-obsessed women bonding over infants and sons-who-were-dating-each-other. 

Thor rolled his eyes. He pressed his hand down on Loki’s waist and moved over him a little. “Loki? You awake?” There was no grunt this time, so he could only assume Loki had really drifted off this time. He wasn’t sure whether or not he ought to wake him, and hesitated. 

“Let him sleep. He’ll need the rest,” Farbauti said, and Thor hadn’t even realized she’d moved around to the other side of the bed. She leaned down to kiss Loki’s forehead. “Thank you,” she said to Thor, her voice serious and sincere. “I’m glad you were there this afternoon. Not just for your help, but also for being with him.”

Warmth bloomed in Thor’s gut. “That’s ok,” he stammered, not sure if he even needed to answer at all, and completely unsure of what to say. If Farbauti noticed, she didn’t say. 

*

The doctor came in after an hour, as promised, and pronounced Briana as improving. He had no updates on the preliminary test results, but was quite sure it wasn’t meningitis, but rather a virus. There was little they could do in that case, he said, except ride it out. 

Thor didn’t realize that Loki was even awake until after the doctor left. “They don’t know yet?” Loki asked, his voice heavy with sleep and exhaustion. He raised an arm in Thor’s general direction. 

“Not yet,” Farbauti said, and moved to Loki’s side. 

“Mom!” Loki’s face lit up and he seemed to come awake. He held his arms up for a hug, for which Farbauti obliged. She murmured something to him, which Thor couldn’t make out, but he figured that he wasn’t meant to hear anyway. Loki clung to her, face buried in her neck, arms wrapped around her shoulders. He looked like he didn’t want to let go. 

Thor turned back to Briana, feeling a little like he was intruding. She hadn’t moved, but the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest reassured him. He wasn’t sure what the doctors had given her, if it was something to make her sleep or she was just exhausted from crying for so long. Either way, he wasn’t complaining. 

He sensed Farbauti rise behind him, and felt Loki turn on the bed until he was facing Briana again. “She still sleeping?” Loki asked, his voice hoarse from sleep. 

“Yeah. She hasn’t moved.”

Loki pushed himself up on the bed until he was upright, and leaned forward to hang over the side of the bassinet. Briana stirred a little at his touch but didn’t wake. “It’s good she’s sleeping,” Loki mused, sounding like he was half-asleep himself. 

“Uh huh. Speaking of sleeping...” Farbauti glared at her son. “Lay down. We’ll keep an eye on her.”

Loki grinned sheepishly and did exactly as he was told. 

*

Nerves settled a little now that Briana seemed to be on the road to recovery – though the test for meningitis still hadn’t come back yet, he was trying not to think about that – Thor managed to devour a hamburger and fries from the hospital cafeteria. It was either not as bad as it ought to have been or he was just really, really hungry because it barely touched the sides on the way down. He followed it with a soda and was surprised at how much better he felt once he had finished. 

Loki was still out like a light. Thor had found a blanket and covered him with it not long after he’d fallen asleep for the second time, and he was curled up under it like he hadn’t slept for a month. Neither he nor Briana were stirring at the sound of voices, and indeed Farbauti, Frigga and Ane were engaged in an enthusiastic, entirely Norwegian chat while they got to know each other. 

Thor decided that he had no choice but to learn this language. He was really starting to feel left out. 

*

Laufey turned up close to 9pm. He looked exhausted and about ready to collapse on the bed next to Loki, who managed to rouse himself, looking a little better. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he said, holding up a tray of coffee - _real_ coffee, much to the delight of the adults in the room. “How is she doing?” 

Farbauti brought him up to date while he dished out the coffee. There was hot chocolate for Thor and Loki, which was thoughtful, and Thor wondered if Loki had told him about his aversion to the coffee bean. By now, Loki had pulled himself out of his repose to drape himself over Thor in an effort to stay upright. 

“How long is this test going to take?” Loki murmured to Thor. “God, I just want to take her home.”

“It shouldn’t be long,” Thor said, resting his forehead against Loki’s. “We should be able to get out of here soon.” But he could see the fear in Loki’s eyes, the fear that he was trying not to give voice to it. Thor was brave enough to try. “I’m sure the test will be negative.”

Loki stared at him for a moment, as if he was trying to pull Thor’s confidence into himself, and then nodded, though he looked far from swayed. “Yeah. It will.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, and was failing miserably. 

There was little Thor could do other than be there. 

*

It was 10.37pm before the doctor came in with the preliminary results of the meningitis test. Thor was beginning to feel it, sitting around for so long with dregs of anxiety sitting in his stomach. The doctor’s arrival was tempered with relief that something was happening, but with no little dread about what he had to say. Thor could feel Loki stiffen against him. 

The doctor didn’t bother with preliminaries. “We won’t have a definite answer for another 24-48 hours, but so far the results don’t indicate meningitis. I think we are looking at the flu or perhaps a viral infection.”

Loki sagged against Thor, unable to say anything. He could hear their parents murmuring in relief, and the room felt lighter, as if some sort of pall of gloom had lifted. Loki’s shoulders were shaking and with a start Thor realized he was crying. 

“Hey it’s ok…” Thor pulled Loki up into his arms and let him sob into his shoulder. 

The doctor looked on sympathetically. “Her temperature has come down and I think the best course of action is for you to go home and keep up with the medication. Ensure she rests and keep up the fluids. If she gets worse bring her back straight away.”

Thor hoped that Farbauti was taking notes because Loki definitely wasn’t. His shirt was wet through and Loki’s chest was heaving as he took deep, shaky breaths. Thor tightened his arms around him. 

When he next looked up Farbauti was talking to the doctor quietly in the corner, going through what looked like notes and prescriptions. Frigga was bent over Briana’s bassinet, where she appeared to have been roused by the noise and was sniffling grumpily. Ane and Laufey, both of whom suddenly looked very old and very tired, were with her. 

Thor suddenly wanted very badly to just get Loki and Briana out of there. He conflated hospitals with sickness and weakness, and it was a feeling he just didn’t like. His legs felt restless. 

He leaned down to kiss Loki’s forehead. “Hey. You wanna go home?” he asked, brushing Loki’s hair back over his ear. Loki sniffed and nodded his head, wiping his eyes with the ends of his sleeves until Ane came forward with some tissues. 

“Yeah. I don’t like this place,” Loki said, trying hard to keep his voice together. 

“Me neither.” Thor helped Loki slide off the bed and then stood up himself. After so many hours sitting down it felt strange to be back up on his feet. 

Thor hadn’t noticed her come in, but a nurse was bent over Briana, giving her one final check over. He couldn’t quite make out what she was saying, but Farbauti was listening carefully, asking questions and taking notes on the sheets of paper the doctor had given her before he’d left. Thor was grateful for that, because he didn’t think Loki was in the right frame of mind. 

He looked shaky on his feet, uncomfortable, and Thor wondered if maybe he ought to stick him right back on the bed. Loki glared at him, as if to say _I know what you are thinking, and don’t!_ and Thor wisely decided to let him be. Loki made his way around to the other side of the bed to Briana, perching himself on the edge of it again as he bent forward to wrap his hand around the top of her head. 

Briana was grumpy, shifting irritably, though she wasn’t wailing like she had been before. “When’s the last time she fed?” the nurse asked. 

Loki deferred to Ane. “I fed her by bottle just before 4pm. She would only take half,” Ane said. 

“Ok. She’s probably hungry. It would be worth trying again, I think. Whenever you are ready.” The nurse smiled at Loki. “It’ll help her sleep too.”

Loki nodded. “Yeah. I’ll see if she wants any.”

“Excellent. You’re welcome to stay here until you are ready to leave. Any questions, just come down to the nurses’ station or use your buzzer.” She nodded politely and left, closing the door behind her. 

“What do you think, Loki? Do want to try feeding her now, before we go home? Or did you bring a bottle?” Farbauti asked, coming forward to rest a hand on her son’s shoulder. 

Loki looked torn. 

“I don’t think I brought a bottle,” Ane said, rummaging through the diaper bag. “Though we could probably get some from the nurse.”

Loki shook his head. “You know what she’s like with formula. And I don’t want to give her something she’s not used to when she’s sick.” He picked Briana up carefully, settling her into his shoulder, where she squirmed and pressed against his chest with her hand. She looked up at him, as if surprised to be out of her bassinet, and then pouted. “Maybe I should try now. She seems hungry.”

“Ok,” Farbauti said. “I think we’ll go get one last cup of coffee. I’ll come back and see how you are doing in a few minutes alright?”

Loki looked relieved as he nodded. Thor didn’t blame him for not wanting to try breastfeeding in front of parents that didn’t belong to him. Soon enough they were left in peace, and Loki squirmed his way back onto the bed. 

“Can you get me the diaper bag, please?” he asked, pointing to where it sat in the corner. Thor fetched it and put it on the bed next to Loki before climbing on himself. 

“Pillow,” Loki said, and it took Thor a moment to realize that he was asking for one. Thor duly handed one over. “Baby?” Loki said this time, and Thor found himself at the mercy of a grumpy baby who **knew** that he was not in possession of functioning mammary glands. 

“I wasn’t prepared for this,” Loki muttered as he wriggled his undershirt down and his top shirt up. He paused. “Shit.” 

“What?” Thor asked, too busy poking faces at Briana in an effort to cheer her up to see what he was swearing about. 

“Nothing. Just, stupid…” Loki sounded so frustrated Thor had to look over. “It’s gross, sorry,” Loki apologized, thought it was another minute before Thor realized that he’d leaked over one of the breast pads they’d bought out shopping. “I haven’t fed her since this morning.”

Thor bit his lip, and let Loki deal with it. There were some things he was still going to have to get used to. Loki cleaned himself up and asked for Briana back. Laying her on the pillow, he settled himself back against the bed. Briana didn’t hesitate and latched on straight away. 

“I think she’s hungry,” Thor remarked, watching her go. 

“Yep,” Loki said, and winced. “Slow down, you little devil.”

Thor was quite sure that only made Briana go faster. 

There was a gentle tap on the door and Farbauti sneaked her head around the frame. “Everything ok?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” Loki said, readjusting Briana’s position. “She’s _really_ hungry.”

Farbauti laughed. “Good to see she has an appetite, at least. Let us know when you’re ready to head home.”

“Won’t be long, the way she’s going,” Loki said, and pouted. 

*

Once Briana had finished and been burped, and Thor had gathered up all their things, they made their way out into the corridor to find their parents. Farbauti was halfway through a pile of paperwork, being ably supported by Ane and Laufey, the latter of whom looked about to fall asleep on his feet. Thor glanced at the clock – it was nearly midnight. 

Briana had fallen asleep after her feed and finally seemed to have settled. Loki tucked her into her carseat and she barely stirred. They had to wait for Loki to sign off on everything, and so Thor sank down into a chair that was thankfully more supportive than the one he had endured before. He was exhausted. 

“Time for bed, hmm?” his mother asked, sitting down next to him. 

“Yeah. I think so.” Thor scrubbed his face with his hands. “I don’t like hospitals.”

“I know,” Frigga said, amused. “You’re lucky you’ve always been a healthy boy. I’ve never had to take you to the hospital.”

“Never?”

“Never. You even still have your tonsils.”

Thor chuckled. “I wasn’t sure if I hadn’t been or if I just couldn’t remember.”

“Never been. Well, we’ve been here a few times to visit other people, do you remember?”

“Yeah I remember that. I just don’t remember being in here myself.”

“So that’s here your dislike comes from? Visiting other people?”

“Well, they were usually always pretty sick.”

Frigga laughed. “Oh Thor.”

Loki finished up the paperwork with no little thankfulness to be done. Laufey carried Briana, leaving Loki with her prescriptions and a sheaf of paper. 

“Everything ok?” Thor asked, falling into step with Loki. He looked drawn and unhappy. 

“Yeah. She’s ok, we get to go home. I just want my bed.” Loki sighed, resting his head on Thor’s shoulder even as they walked. Thor tucked his arm around his waist to hold him up. 

“You’ll feel better after you sleep.”

Loki muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “I’d better”. 

Outside, the night air was clear and crisp, with a slight chill to it. It was a relief after being in the artificial air of the hospital, and Thor drunk it in, enjoying the feel of it against his overheated skin. The stars were out, sparkling against the black canopy, and Thor almost walked into a car when he stared for too long. 

Loki laughed at him. 

Laufey had parked next to Farbauti, but Frigga’s car was on the other side of the lot. They stopped, and Thor felt a sudden spike of nausea. He hadn’t thought about having to go home without Loki. It just seemed _wrong_ right now. Loki was looking at him like he’d been betrayed. 

“No, stay,” Loki said, and it was the first time Thor had ever heard him be petulant, and Loki was holding onto his arms like he couldn’t let go. “Please,” he begged, and suddenly looked like he was going to cry. 

Thor looked to his mother in desperation. He couldn’t leave Loki like this. It wasn’t going to help anyone or anything. Frigga sighed, and looked at Farbauti. Farbauti shrugged. “He’s welcome to stay.”

Frigga gave Thor one of those _we’ll talk about this later_ looks, but then came forward for a hug. “I expect you home for dinner tomorrow night,” she said quietly but firmly into his ear.

Thor just nodded, too grateful for this to open his mouth and ruin it. “Thank you,” he managed eventually. Frigga smiled and nodded, and kissed him on his forehead. Thor tried hard not to be embarrassed. 

“Thank you,” Loki said, a little timidly, as if he was slightly ashamed at being so upset at the thought of Thor leaving. Frigga looked as though she was going to say something, then thought better of it and gave Loki a hug instead. Loki looked so fragile Thor was crossing his fingers that he wouldn’t snap like a twig. 

“Home,” Farbauti said firmly, after goodbyes all round. “Car. Go.”

Both Thor and Loki were happy to obey. 

*

Thor had never been so pleased to see a bed in all his life. Loki practically collapsed onto it, spread out like a starfish while Thor literally stood there holding the baby. 

“…Loki?”

“Mmmmph,” Loki said into his pillow. 

“Should we put Briana to bed?”

“Mmmmph.” But then he rolled over and half fell/half climbed off the bed until he was on his feet again. “But she stays in here,” Loki said, his tone calling for no argument, though Thor didn’t have one anyway. He could see why Loki didn’t want her to be away from them. 

“Where’s she gonna sleep?”

“She has a travel cot. Should be in the closet in her room.” 

Thor let Loki look for it while he sat down on the bed with Briana. She was fighting sleep, having woken up when they’d gotten home. She gave him a look that might have said ‘I don’t like you but you’ll do’ and then gave in and fell asleep in his lap. He suddenly had an aversion to moving. 

“This thing’s stupid, I can’t even remember how to put it up,” Loki complained, lugging a box in through the door. He stopped when he saw Thor on the bed. “I’d ask you to help but I see you’re occupied.”

Thor grinned sheepishly. 

In the end, Laufey and Loki managed to get everything in the right place and the travel cot set up. Loki pulled it close to his bed and then lined it with blankets and soft toys from the crib in the nursery. Very carefully, he picked up Briana and laid her in the cot to rest. 

Loki sat down on the bed with a groan. “God I hope she sleeps through the night,” he muttered into his hands. 

Thor rubbed his back. “I don’t mind getting up.”

“Thank you,” Loki said, and smushed his face into Thor’s shoulder. “Though your lack of breasts might be a problem.”

“She can deal,” Thor said, not bothering to hide his grin. 

Loki laughed and freed himself from Thor. “She doesn’t know how to deal. If she wants something, she screams until she gets it. That’s just how it works around here.” He crawled up the bed behind Thor until he reached his bedside table. “I can’t wait until she’s a teenager.”

Thor chuckled. “Got a few years to get used to it.”

“More than just a few,” Loki said darkly, rummaging through the mess on the table until he found a packet of ibuprofen. He held it in his fist and looked triumphant. 

“You ok?” Thor asked. Loki hadn’t looked well all night but he’d just put that down to anxiety about Briana. 

“Yeah. I’ll live.” Loki downed two pills and a glass of water before curling up on his side. 

Thor was going to let it go until something triggered his memory. “Is it your stomach again?” he asked, concerned. 

“It’s nothing,” Loki said shortly. 

That didn’t mollify Thor. “You want me to get your mom?”

“No. She’s got enough to deal with. I kept her up all night.”

“She’s still up.”

“I don’t care. Drop it.”

Thor was a little startled. Loki had never been so terse with him before, so unwilling to tell him anything. The knot in his stomach that had been there all night started to harden, just a little. Something didn’t seem right. “Are you sure?” he asked tentatively. 

Loki sat up. Half of his hair had fallen over his face but he still managed to look pissed. “What part of ‘drop it’ don’t you understand?” 

“I’m just asking if you’re ok!”

“I _told_ you I’m ok!”

“Then why do you need painkillers?”

“Because you’re giving me a fucking headache!” Loki’s face was flushed, his eyes flashing with anger. Thor had never seen him like this before. It was time to concede defeat. 

“Ok.”

“Fine!” Loki threw himself back down on his bed and buried his face in a pillow. Thor wasn’t quite sure what to do now, feeling a little awkward. They’d never really fought like this before. It was an odd – and disturbing – feeling. 

He was saved by the knock on the door. He guessed that one of the adults had heard their fight and come to check up on them, and he wasn’t happy about it but it was best to reassure them and send them on their way. He got up slowly. 

Farbauti was on the other side of the door. She seemed oblivious to their argument though, and smiled broadly when Thor opened the door. “Your mom is here,” she said. 

“My mom?” Thor was confused. 

“She’s brought you some clothes.” 

_Oh._ Thor gave one last glance back at Loki, who was still on his side and pretending not to listen. He happily followed Farbauti down the hallway. 

His mom was in the living room, chatting to Ane, a bag in her hand. 

“Sweetheart,” she said when she saw him. “Here. Toothbrush, clothes, a few other things.”

Did Thor mention his mother was _wonderful_? “Thank you,” he said, taking the bag gratefully. 

“Isn’t that what mothers are for?” she said wryly. “Sleep well, honey. I’d better get going.”

It was strange, to see her walk out the door and be left behind in a house that wasn’t home. 

*

Loki had changed and was under the covers when he got back to his room. Thor was pretty sure he wasn’t sleeping but decided to let him be. He changed quickly, brushed his teeth, gave Briana a quick kiss, turned off the lights and wrangled his way into the bed in the dark. 

Whenever he had thought of actually being able to spend the night with Loki, this was never how it had gone. The both of them not speaking, the remnants of an argument drifting between them. He had always imagined instead a distinct lack of clothes and much physical activity. He kept his unhappiness about the situation to himself, not wanting to antagonize Loki any further. 

His eyes adjusted to the dark slowly. He could see Briana’s cot on the other side of Loki, and hoped she was sleeping well. Loki’s shoulders were rigid and tense, belying his residual resentment. Thor fought with himself internally for a few minutes, and then decided to hell with it – if Loki kicked him out, he’d sleep in the cot in the nursery overnight. 

He shuffled towards Loki, knowing he’d been spotted when Loki’s shoulders tensed even further. They felt rock hard when Thor slid his arm over them, wrangling the other under Loki until he was wrapped in his arms. Loki lay straight and uncomfortable in his arms, but Thor didn’t give up. 

“I’m not having sex with you,” Loki said eventually. 

“I don’t want sex. I just want you to stop being unhappy.”

Thor knew he had succeeded when Loki sighed, the mere exhale of breath allowing him to relax. 

“You suck,” Loki mumbled grumpily, and in the dark, Thor smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo.... please ignore my little medical misadventure in this chapter. I tried to google, I really did, but FLIP the contradicting advice out there in internet-land is kinda scary. 
> 
> Also, I have no idea how health insurance, doctor's visits, hospital visits etc work in the US, so apologies for any screw ups :O


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot! A new chapter without months passing by in the meantime! haha. This is a little shorter than I would like as I have a big essay to do for university and I need to concentrate on it, and this wouldn't leave me alone. 
> 
> I am keen to really start getting on with the story at large here so if this chapter seems a little different, it's because I'm ultra-secretly setting plots in motion.

If Thor thought spending the night with Loki would be in any way, shape or form romantic, peaceful, or loving he was rudely disavowed of that notion. He was woken first at 3.17am by persistent, grumpy crying from the crib next to the bed. He lay there for a few minutes, wondering if Loki was awake, or if he would wake, and had to concede defeat when it was clear that wherever Loki was, it wasn’t in the land of the living. 

Sighing, he stumbled out of bed and around to the crib. Briana was snotty and annoyed, her face screwed up. In case it was fever again, he checked her forehead, which seemed warm but nowhere near as overheated as she had been last night. Then the air changed, and he could tell without even picking her up she needed to be changed. Suddenly, his face was as wrinkled and grumpy as hers.

Thor started to wonder why he had agreed to stay the night. Hoping against hope, he studied Loki’s outline for any signs he was near rousing, but was disappointed. He was torn between having to change Briana himself, or wake Loki – and since Loki had been feeling ill, he didn’t want to disturb his sleep. 

His mother’s words ringing in his ears, Thor carefully picked up Briana, and avoiding her diaper area completely, carried her into the nursery. He closed the door and switched on the light before laying her on the changing table. There were vague memories of the time Loki had attempted to show him how to change a diaper, but those were mostly a blur. He wondered if he could Google it. 

In the end, he sucked up all his courage and just went for it. It was gross, and smelly, and at one point he thought he was going to puke, but he made it. Loki had everything lined up on the side of the changing table and Thor managed to figure out what everything was for. Though, really, most of it was self-explanatory, like the wet wipes. 

In the end there was a fresh diaper on Briana, she was clean and (somewhat) happy, and all the nasties had been disposed of in the diaper bin. It had taken 20 minutes, but he had done it. Whether or not the diaper was on the right way around was a discussion for another day. 

Feeling very proud of himself (and eager to get some fresh air) he carried Briana back into the bedroom and laid her back down to sleep. She managed a slightly grateful look – or that may have been ‘what took you so long, you blundering oaf’ – before closing her eyes again. Thor watched her for a few minutes to make sure she was ok before heading to the bathroom to wash his hands 16 times. 

Loki was still asleep when he got back. Thor snuck under the covers as carefully as he could and pulled Loki back into his arms, holding him tight as Loki squirmed in his sleep and settled his head into the crook of his shoulder. 

He could get used to this, diapers and all. 

*

His next rude awakening was at 6.48am. Briana was officially hungry, and nothing but mommy’s milk would do. Loki was already awake, or half-way awake at least, his eyes barely open all the way. 

“Morning,” he mumbled to Thor, who took a while to gather up the loose ends of his brain and parrot the same back. 

Loki slid out of bed, taking a moment to find his bearings before heaving himself upright and toddling over to Briana’s cot. He murmured to her as he picked her up, checking her forehead and looking relieved that it didn’t seem to be high. 

“Come on, breakfast time then,” he said, slipping back into bed. “You need a bath, and fresh clothes, and -” Loki pursed his lips and tilted his head, looking confused. “That’s not the diaper I put on you last night.”

Thor panicked. “Is it backwards?” he asked, rather terrified at the answer.

Loki stared at him for a while. “What?”

“The diaper. Is it, you know, backwards? Upside down? Inside out?”

Loki looked confused for a moment more before he began to laugh. “Did you change her in the middle of the night?”

“Yes.” Thor suspected he was beginning to turn red. 

“Oh my god. You are wonderful.” It appeared that Thor had been forgiven for their argument last night. “No, the diaper is fine. Good job. It’s just that it’s a daytime diaper, not a nighttime one. That’s all. It’s on the right way, I promise you.”

“Oh thank god.”

“You really changed her?” 

Thor wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement. “Yes,” he said tentatively.

“You figured it out.”

“I did think about Googling it for a while.”

Loki laughed and looked down at Briana, who was happily nursing away. “Thank you,” he said, suddenly quite serious. “And I’m sorry… for being mad last night.”

Thor swallowed. “It’s ok. I get it. And I’m sorry for prying.”

Loki didn’t say anything for a little while, and Thor wondered if he’d said something wrong. He was about to apologize again when Loki looked at him. “It was late, and I was really tired, but that’s no excuse. I was being stupid. I don’t want you to be mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at you.”

“Thank you,” Loki said after a moment, his voice laden with exhaustion. He looked like he was about fall asleep, and shifted until he was lying back against the pillows. 

“Can you breastfeed and sleep at the same time?” Thor asked. 

“I’m an excellent multi-tasker,” Loki said, and yawned. He shifted Briana to his other breast and then closed his eyes. “Sleep is underrated.”

Thor felt his pain. “I can keep an eye on her.” 

Loki mumbled something that didn’t seem to make sense, but before Thor could ask him what he was going on about it was clear he had fallen asleep. Smiling, Thor shuffled closer and made sure Briana didn’t fall off. 

*

Briana was woozy after her feed, but apparently stubborn enough to deny Thor more sleep for a little while yet. He tucked her over his shoulder and walked around the room, jiggling her a little, like he’d seen people do in the movies. It only seemed to piss her off though, so he ditched the wriggling. 

She was babbling away quite happily in a language that Thor didn’t understand, strands of drool making their appearance at regular intervals. He wiped them away before they dared land on him. 

“You’re a drool-monster,” he said to her. She stared back, her mouth open, a particularly impressive length of drool hanging from it. “See what I mean.”

She screwed up her face. 

There was a soft knock on the door. “Who’s that, bubba? Should we see?” Thor asked, affecting a silly voice before realizing with wide eyes that he had finally succumbed to baby language. Briana giggled at his misfortune as he frowned, poking out his lower lip. She giggled even more. 

Sighing, Thor opened the door. Farbauti, looking as sleepy as Thor felt, looked relieved to see she hadn’t actually woken him up. “I wasn’t sure if either of you would be up yet. But I have some medicine for her.”

As if she knew what the word ‘medicine’ meant, Briana started to cry. 

Startled by her rapid transformation from happy but sleepy baby to angry, unhappy baby, Thor nearly thrust her at Farbauti in fear. 

“She does that,” Farbauti said, winking. “You’ll get used to it.”

“It’ll keep happening?!”

On the bed, Loki stirred and opened an eye. “What’d you do to her?” he half groaned into his pillow. 

“Trying to poison her, apparently,” Farbauti mused wryly, doing her best to get Briana to open her mouth. 

“Oooofff,” Loki said in reply, and went back to sleep. 

“He’s very concerned,” Thor said dryly. 

Farbauti bit her lip very hard in an effort not to laugh. “C’mon sweetie,” she coaxed, going for the ‘softly-softly’ option first. She’d put the medicine into a tiny oral syringe, and quite frankly, Thor thought he wouldn’t be very happy about having that stuck down his throat either. “It’ll make you feel better,” she cooed, and Briana gave her a very nasty look. It only made Farbauti laugh. 

Thor tightened his grip, just a little, and in the moment it took for Briana to look at him, her expression looking utterly betrayed, Farbauti took the opportunity to tuck the syringe in the side of her mouth. She looked horrified at first, but soon discovered that whatever it was was rather tasty, and her entire demeanor changed as she let Farbauti push all the medicine through. 

“There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Farbauti said, kissing Briana on her head. “Good work, Thor.”

He smiled quite proudly. 

*

Briana fell asleep quite quickly after that, and so did Thor. Loki curled up into him, everything warm and quiet and still. 

*

The next time Thor woke Loki was nowhere in sight, and neither was Briana. The clock on the bedside table told him it was 10.18am, and feeling a lot better for the extra sleep, Thor swung out of bed. He had a pressing need to visit the bathroom and so headed there first, but voices and splashing told him it was otherwise occupied. 

He was about leave it and just cross his legs when he realized it was Loki. The door was slightly ajar so he pushed it open carefully, knocking first. 

“Hey sleepyhead,” Loki said, smiling, and looking a hell of a lot better. 

“Hey you.” Thor came through and shut the door behind him. “What are you doing?”

“Bath time.” Indeed, Briana was literally in the bathroom sink. Loki was soaked, and looking rather resigned as Briana bashed the water with her fists and sent a volley of water towards him. There was a puddle beneath his feet. 

Thor suppressed a laugh. “Nice.”

Loki pouted. 

“Well, she’s feeling better, isn’t she?” Thor pointed out. 

Unfortunately, Loki didn’t seem to share his enthusiasm. “She’s still irritable. Normally she likes baths but she doesn’t usually act like this.”

There wasn’t much Thor could say to that. He wrapped his arms around Loki’s middle, settling his chin on his shoulder. It said something about Briana’s water-splashing abilities that Thor’s arms too were soon wet, both from Loki’s shirt and from subsequent missives. 

It didn’t help that he really, _really_ needed to pee. 

Thankfully, with the mess that Briana was making, Loki was not in the mood to drag it out. He finished as soon as he could and dried her quickly, wrapping her in a big, fluffy towel until only her head was poking out. 

“Time for clothes, young lady,” Loki said. “Then I get to mop the floor, thanks to you.” From her little nest in his arms, Briana finally smiled and looked very pleased with herself. “You coming?” Loki asked, when Thor didn’t follow them out the door. 

“I gotta go,” Thor said sheepishly. 

He could hear Loki laughing even from behind the closed door. 

*

Farbauti stuffed them full of pancakes until they couldn’t move. Briana was given half a pancake but didn’t bother to eat it, and just played with it until it was in a thousand pieces - _everywhere_. Then, she fell asleep in it. 

Thor tried really hard not to laugh, but failed. 

“More mess!” Loki wailed, incredibly disappointed after only just recovering from taking fifteen minutes just to dry out the bathroom. “Send her back, I think she’s defective.”

Laufey snorted into his coffee while Farbauti gave Loki a fond smack to the back of his head. “And you’re cleaning that up.”

Loki pouted. 

“I’ll help,” Thor whispered to him, for which Loki looked immensely grateful. 

“You got mail yesterday, Loki,” Farbauti said, dropping a letter in front of him. “I forgot to give it to you last night.”

Loki tore it open with sticky fingers. Thor wasn’t sure who it was from, but it looked official. 

“Maggie wants to come this week. Thursday afternoon at 4pm.” 

Thor had no idea who Maggie was, but her name got the attention of everyone else. 

“What for?” Farbauti asked, looking confused. “She’s not due for another visit for two weeks.”

Loki shrugged, and kept reading. “Something about changes to… well, she doesn’t really say. I don’t think I’m in trouble though.” He held the letter up for his mother who took it straight away. 

“You’d better not be, you haven’t done anything wrong,” she said, sounding rather defensive. 

Thor started to feel a bit worried. “Who’s Maggie?” he hissed at Loki, while Laufey, Ane and Farbauti poured over the letter. 

“Social worker. She checks up on me and Briana, makes sure we have everything we need, that I’m not neglecting her or anything. She’s pretty cool, but yeah, like mom said, she’s not supposed to be coming back for a little bit.” 

It seemed to Thor like Loki was trying to pass it off as nothing, but the worried glint in his eye and the way he was chewing on his lower lip belied him. 

“Do you think she heard about the hospital visit?” Farbauti asked the room at large. 

“Which one,” Laufey said wryly, raising an eyebrow. 

“You don’t think the hospital…” Ane didn’t finish her sentence. Loki suddenly looked very anxious. 

“They can’t have, she wrote the letter before we had to go back to the hospital yesterday,” Loki said defensively. “Surely she can’t be worried about that. And I got the letter from the specialist and sent it to them so they knew why she was in hospital that first time.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Farbauti said, her smile probably hoping to soothe Loki, but it looked a little forced to Thor. “It’s probably nothing. I might phone them on Monday just to check.”

Loki nodded his head, but looked unhappy about the whole thing. 

“Look, there’s no use worrying about it now, and no doubt it’s probably worry over nothing anyway. We’ll worry about it closer to the time,” Ane said, folding up the letter and putting it safely on a large cabinet on the side of the room. “If they had any major concerns they wouldn’t be advising by letter they’ll be here in a week, they would come straight away.”

“That’s true,” Farbauti said, and sighed. “Loki, I think Briana needs a lay down.”

“She is laying down,” Loki said darkly, making Farbauti shake her head and laugh. 

“You know what I mean. It’ll be a few days before she’s right again. I suggest that for now, we enjoy the peace and quiet.”

“Don’t say that too soon,” Laufey warned, pointing the rolled up newspaper at his wife. “The last time you said that she cried for five hours.”

Farbauti cringed. “How could I forget that night.”

“I haven’t,” Ane muttered. “A pair of lungs on her or what.”

Loki picked her up carefully, and patted her back as she lay against his shoulder, still fast asleep. A piece of pancake was stuck to her cheek. “She can’t help it.”

“She can’t, you’re right,” Farbauti conceded fondly, prying off the pancake. “And I do remember you being a little similar when you were her age.”

Loki made a face. “I was that loud?”

“You were that loud,” Farbauti, Laufey, and Ane all said at once. 

“Hmmmphh,” Loki said. “I’m sure I had my reasons.”

“And so does she,” Farbauti said. “Now go get her into bed.”

Thor still had half a pancake to go, so Loki went to lay her down on his own, not that Thor thought he needed his help or anything. Once he was finished he helped Farbauti tidy up the kitchen, even clearing up Briana’s mess so Loki didn’t have to do it once he had her settled. 

“I might have to keep you on,” Farbauti said, admiring his table cleaning skills. “I do have to say we seem to spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning up after the youngest member of the household, though.”

“She’s getting handsy,” Laufey interjected as he came into the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. “Nothing is sacred anymore. She tried to teethe on a pile of contracts the other day.”

“I got them dry, don’t worry about it,” Farbauti said, flinging a dishtowel in his general direction. 

“But saliva stains,” Laufey complained. “And I won’t mention my favorite tie.”

“You just did.” 

Laufey conceded. “That I did. But I’m still in mourning.”

“Oh shush,” Farbauti said, and smacked the back of his hand in much the same way she had done to Loki’s earlier. Laufey looked contrite. 

“Thank you, Thor,” Farbauti said, turning to him. “I think everything is done in here that needs to be done. Do you want to take one down to Loki?” Farbauti handed him two glasses of orange juice and sent him on his way, no doubt planning to continue her banter with her husband. 

He pushed through the open door to Loki’s room, careful not to spill any of the drinks. Briana had awoken at some point and was now fighting sleep in her cot, blinking her eyes in an effort to stay awake. Loki sat next to her on the bed, trying to soothe her into sleep. 

“Not interested in sleeping, huh?” Thor asked, sitting down beside him and handing him a glass. 

Loki drained half the glass before he replied. “Apparently not. I give her maybe another minute or so, if that. She’s more tired than she thinks.”

“She sleeps a lot,” Thor observed. 

“Only cos she’s sick. If she wasn’t, we’d be playing or something right about now. And you know her, she’s usually a lot happier than this.”

“Yeah. That’s true.” Thor remembered playing with her on the bed, watching her as she moved around, grimacing as she stood on his groin. Good times. 

They were silent for a moment, watching Briana as she caved into sleep and closed her eyes. Thor was reminded of the letter that Loki had opened that morning. A little twinge of anxiety poked into his stomach as he remembered how worried Loki had been about it. 

“Is everything ok, you know with that letter coming and everything?” Thor asked awkwardly, the question not coming out quite as he’d envisaged. He cringed. 

Loki didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah, it should be fine.” He sighed. “I dunno exactly why she’s coming out, and that’s just a bit weird to me, I guess. I want to know why. I don’t think there’s a problem or she would have come out earlier.”

“Do you see her a lot?” Thor asked. 

“Not as much as we used to. When we first arrived her she came every week to make sure I was settling in and I was going to school and all that. She’s supposed to come once every 3 weeks at the moment.”

“What does she do?” Thor asked, curious. 

Loki shrugged. “A lot, really. Makes sure that I’m getting what I’m entitled to, that I go to school and that Briana is being looked after while I’m not there, and that I’m getting good grades. She makes sure I can talk to other people in the same situation as I am so I know I’m not alone. Lots of advice, stuff on budgeting, not getting pregnant again, that sort of thing. Most of the time she brings free stuff too, it’s kind of a bonus.”

“Free stuff?”

“Yeah. Diapers, clothes, baby food, stuff for me too. It’s cool. It helps, all of it does. If I need any advice about anything, she’ll help me, or find someone who can help me if she can’t. But also she has to make sure that Briana is ok. That I’m not leaving her alone unsupervised or not feeding her or abusing her or something.”

“But you wouldn’t do that,” Thor said, a little angry on his boyfriend’s behalf. 

“I know, so does she,” Loki said, an appreciative smile on his face at Thor’s outburst. “But that’s just her job. She has to do it for every baby she works with. She says sometimes they have to take the babies away if they find stuff like that.” 

“Wow.”

“I know. I don’t know how someone could treat their baby like that, but some people do. It’s just… I don’t think I could do anything to hurt her, you know? It would hurt _me_ , to do that. I can’t stand seeing her in pain. She’s going to grow up to be a really spoiled kid because I don’t like seeing her upset!” Thor laughed at that, which made Loki glare at him. “I’m serious, Thor!”

“I know, I know.” Thor held up his hands in placation. “She’ll still be mommy’s little girl when she’s 30.”

“Damn right she will,” Loki grumbled. He threw himself backwards on the bed, huffing. “Ugh. I still feel like shit.”

Thor didn’t think that sounded particularly great. “Your stomach?” he asked tentatively, bracing himself for impact. 

But Loki didn’t react the same way he had last night. “No. Just overall, I’m feeling like shit. Fuzzy. Gross.”

“Tired?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He sat back up suddenly. “I need to go drown myself under copious amounts of hot water.”

“You want to go have a shower.”

“Isn’t that what I just said?” 

Thor threw a pillow at him. “Don’t drown too long. I’ll just be sitting here, staring at your wallpaper.”

“I do have books, you know. And a television. And a young child.” 

“I think between the four of them I’ll find something to do.”

“My wallpaper really isn’t that fascinating.”

“Speak for yourself.”

Loki just stared at him until Thor broke and started laughing. “Oh thank god. I thought you were serious and you’d gone crazy.”

“The jury’s out.”

Loki rolled his eyes and pushed Thor over onto the bed. “I’ll be back.”

“Have fun.”

“Would be more fun if you could join me.”

“That could be arranged.”

“Not while my parents are home it can’t be.”

“You’re not adventurous at all.”

“I am! It’s just, there are some things my parents don’t need to find out. Or hear.”

“Another time then.”

“Another time.” Loki picked out a clean change of clothes, kissed both Thor and Briana, and left them to it. 

*

Thor gave up on the wallpaper after half a minute. Briana was cute, but watching sleeping babies was only cute for so long, and most of the books on Loki’s shelf just, well, didn’t seem his ‘type’. He settled for a rerun of Firefly on the television, keeping the volume down low. 

He was so engrossed he didn’t even realize that Loki had snuck back into the room until he was attacked from behind. Loki slid his arms around Thor’s waist and pulled him backwards, until he was half sprawled over him, limbs everywhere. 

“Loki! What was that?” Thor asked, laughing. 

“Couldn’t resist,” Loki said. “Now get off of me, you’re heavy.”

Thor forgot about the television as he wriggled around on the bed to face Loki. “You look better,” he said honestly. 

“I feel better,” Loki said, and yawned as he stretched his arms above his head. “Though I think I could sleep for a week.”

“You should take a nap.”

“No. I have a test next week, I have to study.”

“So do I. You don’t see me panicking, do you?”

“You should be! What subject?”

“Economics.”

Loki grimaced. “Yeah, you really should be studying. So should I.”

“A couple of hours won’t make a difference.”

Loki scowled. “They might. And I don’t know how Briana is going to be for the rest of the weekend, if we are going to need to go back to hospital or not. I should study while I have the chance, while she’s sleeping.”

The idea of studying for a test when it wasn’t the night before was so foreign to Thor he was having trouble grasping the concept. “But… sleep?”

Loki glared at him. “No sleep. No _sex_ either, if that’s what you’re aiming at. Not in front of Briana, anyway. Study time.”

Thor pouted. “I didn’t mean sex, though I wouldn’t say no. I just think you need some more sleep.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll live. Quiz me on my Classics, will you?” he asked, tossing a large textbook with a bust of some old, probably long dead, guy on the cover at Thor. 

And, so, that morning Thor found out that the Democrats hadn’t invented democracy, the Greeks actually had something to do with that; Achilles was a bit of a badass, quite possibly more than Chuck Norris, and the Greeks really, _really_ had a thing for naked people on vases. 

“What is this, the Greek version of _Playboy_?” Thor asked, turning the book upside down so he could see better. “Woah woah _wait_ are they actually _doing **it**_?!”

In the end, Loki had to take the book away. 

“What about your work?” he asked, just the sort of question that Thor didn’t want to hear. 

“It’s fine,” he said, lying through his teeth. 

“Uh huh.”

“It is!”

“Then why don’t I believe you?” Loki asked, smirking. 

“Because you’re secretly a mind-reader?”

“I would be having far too much fun with that to be in here studying.”

“I guess so.”

“So not going so well then?”

“Nope.”

And that’s how Thor found himself being coached in Economics by someone who didn’t even take the subject, but still knew more about it than he did. They spent an hour just going over the basics, and by the end of it, Thor had a better grasp of Economics than he’d gotten from the entire year so far. Loki explained things so simply that it was hard _not_ to understand. Thor wished his teacher had the same way of explaining things. He mightn’t be failing otherwise.

“So when is your test?” Loki asked, declaring a break. 

“Wednesday, 4th period.”

“We can do some more on Monday and Tuesday then.”

Thor wanted to say no. It wasn’t that he wasn’t grateful, far from it, it was just that there were other things he would prefer to be doing with Loki than studying Economics. As if Loki knew what he was thinking, he smiled, and whispered into his ear. “If you pass this test, I’ll let you do whatever you want.”

Loki’s voice went straight to his groin. He swallowed, hard. “ _Anything_?” he asked, the very thought making his dick stir in his jeans. 

“Well, within reason,” Loki clarified, but his smirk nearly said otherwise. “Now, come on, I need some cookies.”

*

When Thor left later that day, it was with a kiss to Loki’s cheek as he lay sleeping on the bed. He’d literally passed out in the middle of re-reading his notes, and Thor couldn’t blame him. Briana had only woken up for a feed, diaper change and medicine before going back to sleep, and between the both of them, they were racking up some rather impressive sleeping miles. 

“You off?” Farbauti asked, busy folding laundry at the dining table. 

“Yeah. My mom wants me home for dinner.”

“Of course.” Farbauti put down the shirt she was folding to enclose Thor in a hug. “Thank you, so much, for everything this weekend. I know it can’t be easy for you either.”

Not sure what to say, Thor kept his mouth closed and blushed instead. Farbauti smiled fondly at him. “And you make Loki very happy. I’m sorry to embarrass you, but I’m so glad you’re become a part of our lives.”

Forget the red cheeks, Thor thought he was about to cry. 

Not unaware of the effect she was having, Farbauti let him go, telling him he was welcome whenever he wanted, and to come back for lunch the next day. “We eat at 12.30. Don’t bring anything.” 

Thor nodded, too worried if he said anything his voice would crack, and waved goodbye.

*

For the first time in what seemed like, _ever_ , Thor did schoolwork that night. Loki’s tutoring had helped him understand what he was doing, and he found, going back through his coursework, that he could start to see what he was supposed to be doing. He even managed to correct some of his previous work, which made him feel very proud. 

He managed two hours of revision before Loki Skyped him, and then that was that. 

*

As for the drama with Briana and the hospital – Thor did suffer through a slightly awkward breakfast conversation the next day with his father that eventually ended with he and his mother against Odin, who wasn’t entirely impressed with either of them. 

“Thor did the right thing,” his mother insisted again. “Briana needed to see a doctor and it wasn’t enough of an emergency to tie up this town’s single ambulance.”

“I realize that,” his father said, still chewing on a piece of bacon. “But he didn’t even make it home until yesterday afternoon.”

“So?” Thor said defiantly. “It was the weekend. It wasn’t like I missed any school.”

“But you should have been at home.”

“So I could do what?” 

Odin shrugged. “Study? The end of the school year is coming up. You have your SATs to study for. You should have begun weeks ago.”

Thanks to his work last night, Thor could be a little smug. Just a little. “I _am_ studying. Loki is helping me.”

Odin stopped chewing. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that yesterday, when I was apparently doing nothing at Loki’s house, he was helping me with my Economics. Look, I’ll show you.” Thor’s fork banged loudly on the plate as he dropped it, making his mother wince. “I’ll be back.” He thundered up the stairs and pulled his Economics books from his desk before heading back downstairs. 

“Look,” he said, and pulled out the sheets of paper he and Loki had been working on yesterday. They had filled page after page with notes and diagrams. “This is what we did yesterday. I didn’t understand any of it but Loki helped me, now I get it.”

Odin raised an eyebrow at him. He conceded by nodding his head. “Good to hear. But if you’re having trouble with your schoolwork, you should tell your teacher.”

Thor sat back down at the table. He had no interest in skirting around any of this, he just wasn’t in the mood. “I did. So he tried to show me, but I still didn’t get it because it wasn’t any different to how he showed us in class. I didn’t want to make him think I was stupid so I told him I understood. Loki explains it completely differently.”

Odin was reading through the notes in Thor’s book. “This is good stuff,” he said, sounding a little resigned that he even had to say it. He closed the book with a snap. “Fine. If you keep this up, I’m alright with you spending more time there. I expect to see it reflected in your marks.”

Thor gulped. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Thor decided he was finished, and carried his plate to the sink with a quiet ‘thank you’ to his mom and a kiss on her cheek. He had one foot out of the kitchen door when his father asked him to wait. 

“She’s alright now, isn’t she?” he asked, his quiet demeanor and the worried creases on his forehead belying the concern he had been hiding. 

Thor paused. He hadn’t thought his father had been that worried, but then again, he was friends with Laufey, wasn’t he? “Yeah. She’s doing ok. I think they are still waiting for the final results from the hospital though.”

His father nodded, said no more, and returned to his paper. 

Thor smiled and climbed the stairs to his bedroom. He had a lunch to get ready for. 

*

Loki greeted him the second he walked through the door with a gigantic hug. Thor, startled, grasped him back and started to laugh. “What’s the occasion?” he asked. 

“Briana’s tests results came back, she just has a virus,” Loki said into Thor’s neck, tightening his hold. 

“No more hospital?” Thor asked, squeezing Loki so tight around his waist he squealed. 

“No! Thor! Not for now, anyway. Knowing her we’ll be back in next week,” Loki said dryly. He kissed Thor’s throat and then relinquished his hold. “I’ve told her she’s not allowed to get sick again.”

“Oh?” Thor raised his eyebrows. “And what did she say to that?”

“She pretty much blew a raspberry. Oh shush,” Loki said as Thor began to chuckle, and pretended to push him over. “Come on, food’s nearly ready.”

The mood at lunch was almost joyous. There was a palpable sense of relief now that Briana’s tests results had come back clear, and for the first time that weekend everyone was able to relax. The lady of honor joined in when she woke up, staring around and looking rather bemused at everyone. At Loki’s urging she tried a little mashed potato, and seemed to enjoy it, even holding out a hand for some more once she’d finished. 

Thor and Loki did the washing up slowly and lazily, throwing bubbles at each other until half the kitchen bench was covered. Loki hurriedly cleaned it up before his mother noticed while Thor covered for him. 

Ane was pacing around the living room with Briana on her shoulder, who’d decided she’d had enough sleep for the weekend and no longer needed her regular after-lunch nap. 

“Medicine worked a little too well, huh?” Loki said dryly as he took Briana from her. He bounced her a couple of times in his arms, making her giggle. “At least she’s not as pissed off as she was.”

“Loki!” Ane admonished, before laughing. “Not in front of the children.”

Loki made a face at Briana before poking his tongue out. “Fancy a walk?” he said to Thor. “I think I could do with getting out of the house and it might make her fall asleep.”

“Sure.”

Thor couldn’t quite believe the amount of things they had to take for a simple walk. There was the diaper bag, stuffed to the brim, plus drinks, snacks, a sunhat, and even a waterproof cover for the stroller despite the fact that the day was clear and bright with not a cloud in sight. Thor was surprised that they actually remembered the baby. 

Briana happily set to decimating a teething ring as they set off down the sidewalk. Without thinking about it they headed for the park down the street, taking their time. It was pleasant out and they weren’t the only walkers, but still, it seemed to Thor that they were in their own little world. The fresh air and sun seemed to work wonders on Loki, who had been looking even paler than normal for the past couple of days, and no surprise. But now, he could relax, and it looked like it was working. 

Briana was too young for the playground, so they wandered down to the same willow tree they had sat under together before. Loki appreciated the shade for Briana, and Thor appreciated the privacy. Pulling a blanket out of the bottom of the stroller – Thor wondered what else was under there – Loki laid it on the ground before laying Briana out on top of it. She stretched out her arms and legs and giggled before flailing them around madly. 

“Well, she does seem to be feeling better,” Loki commented, and bent down to blow a raspberry on Briana’s stomach. 

“It’s been a long weekend,” Thor pointed out. “I think I could do with a week off school to recover.”

Loki swatted him with a clean diaper. “I’m sure your mother will be very sympathetic.”

“I know, right?”

The afternoon passed quietly and peacefully. Briana fell asleep on her blanket and not long after that, Loki dozed off with his head in Thor’s lap. Though he felt sleepy, he resisted closing his eyes, preferring to watch over Briana and Loki than give in to temptation. 

He could sleep when he was dead. 

*

A full half an hour had passed before Loki roused again. Thor was running his hands through his hair, sweeping it up and off his forehead, when he sighed and declared, rather hoarsely, that he wasn’t interested in moving. Thor chuckled and bent down to kiss his forehead. 

“How’s Briana?” Loki asked, scrubbing a hand over his face. 

“Sleeping. She’s barely moved, kinda like you.”

“Ha.Ha,” Loki said dryly, and smacked what part of Thor’s thigh he could reach. “Did you sleep?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Just didn’t.” Thor decided not to elaborate, and Loki left it. 

“Your leg is vibrating,” Loki pointed out. “Either that or you’re having a very localized seizure.”

Thor rolled his eyes and dug his phone out of his pants, which was kinda tricky when he had someone laying on them. He had a text message from Tony. 

**Hey Thunderbrains.**

That was it. While ‘Thunderbrains’ wasn’t a new nickname by any means, it seemed odd that Tony would only text to say ‘hi’. Normally he had a purpose, whether it was to convince Thor to sneak out of his house in the middle of the night for an impromptu keg party or ask him if anyone would notice if he built a car in his basement. Sometimes Thor could tell that he texted because he was lonely, and needed someone human just to talk to, and Thor was happy to wear down his thumb. But Tony had been doing that less and less lately, and it struck Thor that perhaps it was because Tony had finally found someone of his own to talk to, someone who treated him like a human being, one with more worth than as a brain or just as someone to leave a company to. 

_Hey robothead. wats up?_ he texted back, slightly concerned. 

**Nothing** , Tony replied, too quickly. Thor might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he wasn’t that stupid. 

_don’t beleve u. u ok??_

It took ages for a reply. Thor was contemplating phoning Tony instead when his reply came. Whatever he had been expecting to hear, it wasn’t this. 

**How do u date someone?!**

Thor didn’t realize he was gaping at his phone until Loki pointed it out and poked his cheek. “What is it?”

“I, um, Tony, just sent me a text message. It’s kinda weird though.”

“It’s Tony. Is it not meant to be weird?” Loki asked, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow and looking up at Thor. 

“Not this weird.”

“Well, what did he say?”

“He wants to know how to date.”

Loki snorted. “Say what? The king of flirtation is asking you for dating tips?”

“Well, yeah.”

Something about Thor’s suddenly subdued demeanor must have alerted Loki, because he sat up in a flash. “Not a text you’d thought you’d get, then?”

“No. Maybe he’s having second thoughts about Steve?” Even as he said it, Thor’s stomach curled into itself. That really wasn’t something that anyone could consciously let happen. 

Loki looked thoughtful. “Or, _maybeeee_ , he’s realized that a couple of years of epic flirting and the odd one-night stand haven’t really taught him anything about actually having a _relationship_.”

Thor bit at his lower lip. He thought maybe that Loki had nailed it. Tony was panicking. “What do I say? What do I tell him?” 

He could tell by the blank look on Loki’s face that he had just as many ideas as he did. “…pass?” Loki said eventually. “I’m not a fucking psychologist.”

Thor didn’t think the moment called for him to laugh, but he did anyway. 

“Enough,” Loki said, grinning, and swatted his shoulder. “We have to help him before he does something irreparable.”

That sobered Thor up. “But what?”

“I don’t know. You just can’t just, you know, put all that in a text.”

“Put all what?”

“How to date someone! Wait, you think there might be a ‘How to Date for Dummies’ book out there somewhere?”

“I don’t think Tony would appreciate a book that suggested he was a dummy at anything. He would probably unleash his robots on you or something.”

“He has robots?”

“Yeah, like three.”

Loki just gaped. 

“So what do I sa _yyyyy_?” Thor whined, holding up his phone. “He’s gonna think I’m ignoring him.”

“I dunno, just tell him that it’s kinda hard to put into words or something.”

“He’s gonna hate that,” Thor grumbled, but texted it anyway. 

“We aren’t miracle workers, Thor.” As if agreeing, Briana promptly awoke and started grizzling. “Flip. Well, at least now I know when she’s _actually_ hungry as opposed to just pissed off.”

“Face it, Loki. You’re a walking milk bar.” Thor had no doubt that if Loki’s arms weren’t otherwise occupied, he would have gotten something to the face for that. As it was, Loki’s glare was _spectacular_. 

At least he didn’t have to wait long for Tony’s reply. It was succinct and to the point, to say the least. 

**Not. Helpful.**

Thor winced. “I think we pissed him off.” 

“Why? What did he say?”

“Basically that we weren’t being very helpful. In fewer words, though.”

“Yikes.” 

“Yeah.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Loki piped up again. “Tell him to come over. Maybe we could talk to him.” 

“Now?”

Loki shrugged. “Ok, maybe not _right_ now, but a bit later. When do you have to be home?”

“By dinner. 6.30pm at the latest.”

“So that gives us… um, how long?”

Thor glanced at his phone. “Just over 3 hours.”

“Plenty of time. Text him.”

Thor poised his thumb. “Wait, are you sure your parents will be ok with him coming over?”

“Oh – um, good point.” Loki screwed up his face. “They love _you_ , but they’ve never met Tony.”

And Thor thought of something else. “There’s Briana, as well,” he pointed out, a little awkwardly. “He doesn’t know about her yet.”

Loki sighed and rested his head on the tree behind him. “No. No he doesn’t.”

Thor wasn’t quite sure what to say, so he decided saying nothing would get him into less trouble. 

“Do you think I should tell the others?” Loki asked quietly, his eyes closed. 

There wasn’t an answer Thor could give straight away. He picked idly at a dead leaf before tearing it into pieces and letting them drift down to the ground. “I don’t know,” he said eventually. “That’s your decision.”

“Now _you’re_ not being helpful,” Loki muttered, opening his eyes only to roll them at Thor. “Tell me what to do, it’s so much easier.”

Thor chuckled. “I’d probably screw it up.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would.”

“Ok, you probably would, but still, it would save a lot of thinking.”

“That’s cheating.”

“I don’t care,” Loki said huffily. “I’ll cheat when I wanna cheat.”

“Yessir.”

That, at least, made Loki smile. “I guess I have to tell them sometime. I’m just not sure that _now_ is the right time.”

Thor grunted his agreement. 

“Though I think Tasha might be catching on…” Loki mused. He sighed. “Do you think I should tell her? I'm pretty sure I've asked you that before, but _still_..."

Thor didn't have an answer for that, and anyway it seemed that Loki wasn't expecting one. He seemed lost in his head, far away, and Thor let him drift until he remembered Tony and the panic attack he was probably having somewhere. Then he spoke without thinking, not an uncommon thing for him, and he was surprised by how much sense he made. "Maybe we could meet Tony at my place?"

"That would work," Loki said, coming back to reality. "Just as long as my mom or Mormor can look after Briana. She'll probably end up sleeping anyway."

Thor smiled. "We can ask. I’ll text Tony and see if he can come to my place this afternoon. We can try and save him before he does something stupid. If Briana falls asleep.”

“She should,” Loki said, looking down at her anxiously. She was still feeding voraciously, showing no signs of stopping. “But she did have a nap just before.”

“It wasn’t long though.”

“I know. But she likes to be contrary.” Loki’s smile was full of affection. 

“I wonder where she gets that from,” Thor mused, grinning wickedly at Loki, who wasn’t impressed. 

“Hmphf. She should be finished soon, anyway.”

“Turn the tap off.”

“It doesn’t work like that, Thor, as much as sometimes I wish it would. Hurry up and text Tony before he thinks you’ve forgotten about him again.”

_u doing anything? be @ mine @ 4.30._

The answer came nearly straight away. 

**Be there. C u soon.**

And then, as if it was an afterthought, 

**Thanks bud.**

Thor read the texts out to Loki, who ‘aww’d’ in the right places and then pointed out the obvious. “What are we gonna tell him?”

“… stuff?”

“Well, that sounds scientific.”

“We can brainstorm on the way back to yours.”

“Fine. Briana is nearly finished sucking me dry. Could you pass me a cloth please?”

Thor did as duly requested and then packed up while Loki settled Briana back into the stroller. They pushed through the curtain of willow, making Briana giggle as the leaves passed over her. After being in their own little world for a while it was strange to be back amongst the living. Thor didn’t see anyone he knew particularly well, and he wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. 

Briana fell asleep crossing the road, and was still zonked out when they got back to Loki’s house. Farbauti took one look at her and told Loki not to bother even taking her out of the stroller, lest she woke up. 

Loki saw the opportunity and seized it. “Would it be ok if you could keep an eye on her?” he asked, his face screwed up just a little as if he was anticipating rejection. 

Farbauti sighed and gave him a wry smile. “What for, and how long?”

“Not long. But Tony is having a crisis and we’re having an emergency meeting at Thor’s.”

The bewildered look on Farbauti’s face said it all. “…now?”

“Well, 4.30.”

Farbauti glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s quarter past now.”

Thor panicked. “Already?!”

“Already. Ok, fine. I’ll look after her. But this isn’t going to be a regular thing, is it?” she asked Loki, in her best mother-in-charge voice. 

Loki eagerly shook his head. “No.”

Farbauti rolled her eyes but smiled. “Well, you’d better get going then. Be back as soon as you can.”

“Thank you!” Loki flung his arms around his mother’s neck and kissed her on the cheek.

“Shush you silly boy, you’ll wake her up,” Farbauti said affectionately, returning the kiss. 

“Going!” Loki whispered, but crept over to say goodbye – quietly – to Briana, who didn’t bother to stir. 

Thor held out his hand for Loki’s, and together, they headed out the door before Briana could wake up and demand their presence.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, so, um, it's been a while. I'm so sorry to everyone who has been waiting for this :(. I just want to reiterate that this fic is not, and won't be, abandoned. I'll probably just continue to be the world's worst updater. Grad school is kicking my butt and I had writer's block so bad on this that I took a break for months, I just couldn't do anything. I'm hoping that's solved it for now but of course I go back to school next week. 
> 
> Just a note for this chapter - I've changed recess to study hall, as a lovely person suggested in the comments a few chapters ago (if it wasn't 4am, I'd look it up, but I'm about to die, please accept my humble apologies!). I haven't gone back to change the earlier chapters but I will at some point. 
> 
> I still have loads of comments to reply to - I'm hoping to do that when I feel more human! Thank you to everyone who has left a comment and/or kudos'd, I really, really appreciate it although sometimes I feel like I don't deserve it for being so slack! 
> 
> A note on plot - the plot is all in my head, not so much in this chapter. I felt y'all had been waiting so long you deserved smexy times, so we resume normal transmission next chapter. 
> 
> This chapter does include lactation kink and rimming, so if that doesn't appeal to you, I suggest you skip the second part of the sex scene (end of chapter). 
> 
> Thanks everyone!

They went as fast as they could without running, but still didn’t make it there before Tony. He was parked out front, the red sports car sticking out like a sore thumb. The hood was still warm so he hadn’t been there long, and they found him at the kitchen table looking sorry for himself and nursing a mug of hot chocolate that Frigga had decided he needed. 

“Hey Thor. Hey Loki,” he mumbled, trying for a smile and failing spectacularly. 

Beside him, Thor heard Loki sigh with sympathy. 

“What happened?” Loki asked, cutting straight to the chase. They took seats either side of Tony while Frigga supplied them both with their own hot chocolates and then left them to it. 

Tony shrugged morosely before looking up, at nothing in particular. “It’s not him, it’s _meeeeee_!” he wailed. 

Over his head, Loki exchanged a look with Thor. It was 95% _I told you so_ and 5% _now what the fuck are we meant to do?!_ Then it was Thor’s turn to shrug. He was completely out of his depth. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Just, tell us what happened,” he asked Tony soothingly. 

Tony took a deep, wavering gulp of breath, and, looking rather like a fish out of water, launched into it. “Well, I guess, it’s just, Steve wants to do stuff and I don’t know what sort of stuff, I don’t mean like sex cos that’s not a problem but Steve’s not ready for that yet and that’s ok but I mean going out and going places and doing things _together_ and I’ve never really done that sort of thing, I mean I have with you guys but not with _a boyfriend_ and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do or say or behave or how you even do things like that when you have another person there that _likes_ you, I mean properly likes you not just wants to sleep with you and when Steve asked me to go to the movies with him I freaked out I don’t know why because like I told you I wish everyone knew about us but for some reason I _couldn’t_ , not didn’t want to, just couldn’t, it’s like it makes it official even though it’s just the _movies_ I mean **come on** are you fucking serious -”

“Tony.” 

Tony stopped like he’d been slapped and stared wild eyed at Loki, who had a hand resting on Tony’s shoulder. “You’re panicking,” Loki said, like that explained everything, and maybe it did because Tony just slumped down onto the tabletop in agreement. 

“But I don’t know how to stop it!” he howled through his arms.

“You can’t,” Loki told him, like he was speaking to a 5 year old – with immense patience. 

“But - !” Tony shot up quickly, and stared at Loki in what seemed like horror. “What do you mean, ‘I can’t’?”

Loki smiled. “It’s nothing you can control, unless you’ve completely mastered your brain.”

Tony looked a little insulted at the idea that he might _not_ have mastered his brain, given his level of intelligence, but then he seemed to realize that Loki was right and his shoulders sagged, just a little. “But what can I do about it?” he asked, his voice pitiful and desperate. 

Loki seemed to think about it for a while, before looking slightly rueful about something. “Can I be honest?” he asked, biting his lip. 

“Yes,” Tony said, after a moment. “Is this going to be painful?”

“Hopefully not,” Loki said, “but I can’t promise anything.”

“Fine,” Tony sighed, and huffed. “Go for it.”

“Suck it up,” Loki said frankly. 

“Excuse me?” Tony asked, his mouth flapping open like a fish. 

“Suck. It. Up. Get over it. Drink a cup of cement, harden up. It’s life, it happens.” 

Thor was pretty sure his mouth mirrored Tony’s at that moment. He’d never heard Loki speak like that before, ever. He wasn’t sure whether or not he ought to be proud or shocked. 

“What?” Tony asked, feebly. 

Loki shrugged. “Well, it is just life, isn’t it? Nothing ever goes to plan. You can’t control your emotions or your feelings, at least, not that well anyway. No-one can, unless you’re some master of yoga or the kama sutra or whatever it is. You’re panicking, because you’ve never been in this situation before, where you have to think about and take into account someone else’s feelings and emotions and wants and needs. So, you’re scared, because you don’t want to fuck this up, and hurt Steve, or lose him, but at the same time you _are_ hurting him, unintentionally, because you’re drawing back and confusing him, in an effort _not_ to hurt him, but it’s totally backfiring, isn’t it?”

Tony had closed his mouth somewhere in the middle of Loki’s theorizing. He looked a little more pensive now, intrigued. “Keep going,” he said, and took a comforting gulp of hot chocolate. 

“Sooooo…. You need to suck it up. You have to be stronger emotionally than you have ever been. Stop thinking about all the bad things that could happen and start thinking about the things that could go right. Steve wants to be with you. He knows your strengths and your weaknesses, and guess what, he doesn’t care, or he wouldn’t be with you. So _use_ that. Tell him. Tell him that you don’t know what you’re doing, that you don’t want to muck this up, that you’re sorry for pulling away. Steve’s not going to just walk away. If he knows what’s up with you then he can help you. You just have to let him. It’s something you can work through together. It’s so much harder when it’s just you, alone.”

With that last sentence, Thor felt something like a punch to the stomach. He realized where this had been coming from – Loki might as well have been talking about everything he’d been through with James and Briana, and what might have been, just as much as he might have been talking about Steve and Tony. He felt like he’d just been given a very personal and intimate look inside Loki’s head, and it seemed almost like he’d learned just as much as Tony. 

“Soooo…. I should just go over there? And talk to him?” Tony asked, looking a little incredulous, as if things couldn’t possibly be that simple. 

Loki nodded his head. “You can’t expect him to read your mind. He’s probably just as confused as you are right now.”

Tony sighed into his mug. “You’re right. I should…. I should have just talked to him from the beginning. But I was scared, you know? I thought that I had this, that it wouldn’t be any different, and I didn’t want him to know that…” Tony seemed lost for words. It was not a regular occurrence. 

“To know that you aren’t as put together as you like to make it seem?” Loki asked delicately, without a trace of malice. 

“Yes, that!” Tony said, looking a little relieved that Loki had put it into words for him, rather than pissed off at the choice of them. “What… what you said. That.”

Loki smiled at Tony but there was no happiness in it, just a knowing gaze in his eyes. “It’ll work out,” he said to Tony, clasping his shoulder. “Just don’t screw it up.”

Tony snorted. “I’m good at doing that, sometimes,” he said ruefully, giving Loki a mournful smile. “Fuck up friendships, and all that. Hell, I hardly even talk to my father.”

Loki raised his eyebrows at Thor, who could only give him a small shrug in return. He knew Tony’s relationship with his father was strained, but it was something that Tony rarely talked about. 

“You know, I wish me and Steve could be like you two,” Tony suddenly blurted out. “You talk to each other without having to speak, you just _get_ each other, ya know? I see you. At school and stuff. I just wish me and Steve were like that. I… I like him so much but it’s hard to show it, you know? But with you two, you aren’t afraid of touching each other or being together, like we are.”

Thor wasn’t sure what to make of this. He hadn’t realized that Tony was _jealous_ of them, or how free they were with each other in front of other people. 

“We’ve been together for a little longer than you and Steve, though,” Loki said quietly, edging closer to Tony. 

“Pfffft. I’ve known Steve much longer than you’ve known Thor. Years. So why the fuck can’t we figure it out when you two are like Romeo and Juliet – or well, Romeo and Romeo – so damn quickly?”

“Well, maybe that’s the thing,” Loki said. “We didn’t know each other, so it wasn’t like we were two friends trying to date like you and Steve. Of course it’s going to feel weird. I think I would feel strange if I fell for my best friend as well. Everything changes. Your relationship is different. You can’t act the same way around them anymore. Your boundaries change. You have a whole other aspect of your relationship to work out that we didn’t.”

Tony looked like he wasn’t sure if he ought to believe Loki or not, and gave him a dubious look for good measure. 

“Look,” Loki said, and sighed. “If you are trying to be like me and Thor, you’re gonna fail. Not cos you can’t be like us, but because you _aren’t_ us – how we work, it’s because of who we are. You and Steve will be totally different to us. Don’t compare what you have to everyone else, because you’ll never get anywhere, trying to chase the image of someone else’s relationship. I know it sounds crappy, but you have to figure out what you and Steve can be together. There’s no manual for this.”

Tony had gone back to looking borderline depressed. He stared at a spot on the wall, for reasons known only to him. “You’re right,” he said heavily. “I just need to… I need to…” He struggled for words before giving up and looking at Loki, who stared back sympathetically. 

“You need to go talk to Steve,” Loki said carefully, as Tony nodded along. “And tell him why you feel insecure about this, and – listen to me – ask him for help. You can do this.”

“I can do this,” Tony repeated, his voice steadier than it probably ought to be. “I can do this.” He nodded his head briskly. “Right. Um.” He paused. “I’m going to go now. To see Steve, I mean.” He stood up quickly, his chair scraping noisily against the tiles as it slid backwards. 

“You’re going now?” Loki asked, looking slightly incredulous. Thor wondered if he had more he was wanting to say.

“Yes,” Tony said firmly. “While I still have the guts.”

“Is that a good idea?” Loki asked warily.

“Why?” Tony asked sharply, and looked down at where he sat. “You think I should wait?”

Loki shrugged. “Well, that’s up to you, I just don’t want you to rush over there without thinking it through.”

“Thinking what through?” Tony asked, a little bewildered. 

“What you’re going to say,” Loki said, like it was completely obvious. 

“Oh,” Tony said, and sat back down heavily. “You have a point.”

Loki didn’t say anything, just took another sip of his hot chocolate. 

“What do _you_ think I should say?” Tony asked Thor suddenly, his head whipping around so quickly it took his hair a few seconds to follow. 

“Uh what?” Thor said, not appreciating having the question sprung on him.

“Well come on, what do you think. Your boyfriend’s done all the talking so far.” 

Thor could see Loki smirking into his mug. “I – uh – not sure, really.”

“Right. Well, you’re helpful,” Tony said, and screwed up his face at Thor. 

Thor just made one back. 

“Oh well that’s intelligent,” Loki said, doing a terrible job of hiding a laugh. 

“That’s Thor!” Tony sung out. “You sure know how to pick ‘em.”

“You did it first!” Thor protested. 

“Yeah you keep saying that buddy,” Tony said, and winked. 

Thor just rolled his eyes. 

“So, no tips then?” Tony asked, leaning forward, somewhat of a desperate look in his eyes. 

Thor was quite happy to just say ‘no’, but Tony _was_ his friend and so there was somewhat of an obligation there. But he just wasn’t good at this like Loki clearly was. This really wasn’t his thing. “Uh… I guess… um, maybe, say sorry for the whole movies thing? And um, listen to him.”

“Well, I was planning on letting him speak at some point.”

“No, I mean, really listen to him. Don’t just let him talk to you, actually listen to what he has to say, and then – sorry – actually use what he has to say. Don’t just disregard it.” Thor was proud of himself for coming up with that, though also a little worried that Tony wouldn’t be impressed with his candor – he wasn’t normally so brutally honest, but he _had_ been put on the spot. 

As it was, though, Tony just looked thoughtful, staring back at Thor with what seemed to be quiet respect. “I hear you, big fella. I know, I _do_ , don’t laugh at me, that sometimes I don’t really listen… and I guess, you of all people, really do know that.”

There was a pause, and then Thor was startled when Tony sprung up from his chair and enveloped him in a quick hug before turning around and doing the same to Loki, who only just managed to relinquish his hold on his mug in time. 

“I love you guys,” Tony said soppily into Loki’s hair before letting go. Loki looked a little wide-eyed and bewildered. “Ok, no really, this time, I’m gonna go talk to him… but I’m gonna take a little drive and think about it first.”

Loki looked a bit alarmed at that. “Are you sure you should be driving?” he asked, concerned. 

Tony looked mystified, as if he had no idea why Loki would even ask that. “I’m a brilliant driver. Just ask Thor.”

For the second time in what seemed like a minute, Thor found himself put on the spot. While Tony had been driving for the longest out of all of them – mainly because of a blatant disregard for road laws – he wasn’t necessary the best… Thor had, after all, been in a car with him before, and not having the same love of speed as Tony, had endured several hair-raising drives. But, despite that, he could be a very thoughtful and careful driver when the occasion called for it. Unable to put any of it into words, he just shrugged. 

“Oh thanks big buddy, you’re a great friend,” Tony scoffed, although Thor was perfectly aware he wasn’t really mad. 

“No problem.” 

“I’ll be fine, Loki. Maybe I’ll just go down to the woods or something.”

Loki blushed at the mention of the woods and though Thor caught it and smirked at him, Tony thankfully didn’t seem to notice. Loki hid behind his hair until it faded. 

“Don’t get lost,” Thor said, only half-kidding (Tony had once taken a wrong turn off a path and ended up hideously lost, until he was found, four hours later, by the local Scout leader. It had been seven years and he still couldn’t live it down). 

“Huh. I have a much better sense of direction now, thank you very much.”

“Ok,” Thor said patronizingly, and suffered a punch to the shoulder for it. 

“Anyway, _lovebirds_ , thank you. Really. I will let you know how it goes. And if he dumps me, I will never forgive you and haunt you for the rest of your lives.”

“Don’t you have to be dead to haunt someone?” Loki asked dryly, chin propped up in his hand. 

“Not when you’re me.” Tony pressed his hands together and gave a little bow to Loki, who bowed back, and then to Thor, who just looked bemused. 

“See you at school? Or tonight, while you’re in bed, if I’m in a haunting mood. Watch for me in your wardrobes. _Ciao_!” 

Tony let himself out, while Loki and Thor just sat at the table and watched. 

“Well, that was interesting,” Thor said.

“Yeah. Thanks for contributing,” Loki pointed out, grinning. 

“Hey! You seemed to have it covered.”

“Uh huh. But input from other people is always good.”

“I know. But I told you, I’m not very good at this sort of thing. You are, though. It seemed to work.”

“’Seemed to’ being the operative word here. Let’s give it some time. Hopefully they work it out.”

“They will.”

“You sound awfully confident, Thor.”

He shrugged. “I think Steve is an understanding and forgiving person, and that Tony is honest enough to tell him everything. They’ll be fine.”

“I hope so,” Loki said, though he sounded a touch dubious. “I just hope I haven’t screwed it up by telling him all that crap.”

“It wasn’t crap.”

“You have to say that.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do. Anyway, I guess we’ll find out.”

Thor gave up trying to convince Loki. “I don’t want to find Tony in my wardrobe at midnight. Again.”

“ _Again_?! Wait, what, do I even want to know?”

“Probably not. It got me back into the habit of checking my wardrobe every night before I go to sleep though.”

“What are you, _five_?”

Thor threw a napkin at Loki. 

*

They found themselves pressed for time, and so Frigga generously allowed Thor to drive Loki back home in her car. Farbauti met them outside with Briana, who was very awake and very pleased to see Loki, holding out her little chubby arms as he reached for her. 

“Hey Princess,” he cooed, expertly flicking his hair away so she couldn’t grab it. “Are you feeling better?” 

She gurgled, which Thor figured was baby-talk for ‘much better, thank you, what about you?’ 

They couldn’t linger though, not while Farbauti was in the middle of cooking and Thor’s mom wanted him home. So he gave Loki a kiss and gave Briana one too, on her cheek, much to her delight as she squealed. 

“See, totally warming up to you,” Loki teased, grinning at Thor, who blushed. “Now, make sure you do some studying tonight, will you? There’s a quiz tomorrow,” he said, and grinned with great relish. 

“You’re gonna quiz me?” Thor asked, not really enthusiastic about the prospect. 

“Just to make sure you remember what we did,” Loki said, his voice reassuring. “Just do what you can tonight.”

“Ok. I promise.”

“Good. Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

Their pinky swear was accompanied by one last kiss, and Briana joined in by banging Thor on the cheek with the palm of her hand. 

“Delightful child,” Thor said dryly. 

“That just means she likes you,” Loki said, with the confidence of a mother who was sure their child could do no wrong. Despite evidence to the contrary. 

“I’ll take your word for it. See you tomorrow.”

“Sleep well.”

Loki and Briana stayed out on the front lawn until Thor disappeared around the corner, one eye on the road and the other in the rear view mirror. 

*

Later that night Thor received a series of text messages in quick succession. He found out that Tony _hadn’t_ gotten lost in the woods (though it was a close call) and nor had he suffered any perils whilst driving. He had made it to Steve’s, apologized, poured his heart out (perhaps a little too much, Tony admitted), and the two had reconciled with a vigorous round of tonsil hockey. Tony had confessed to Steve that he wasn’t sure how relationships worked and that he had all the confidence of a man who couldn’t swim who had been dumped in the ocean, and Steve had confessed to Tony that he was still getting used to everything but was starting to come around to the idea of being with Tony in public, as a couple, something he had been wary about before (and he had reassured Tony that it wasn’t because of him, but rather because he had found the idea of public affection mortifying, but he was getting over it). Thor congratulated them on their success and found himself both smiling and rolling his eyes. Teenage romance, so sweet, and so tragic. 

*

The next day, Tony and Steve surprised everyone by turning up hand in hand, provoking a flurry of whispers and stares and the occasional “ _I told you so_!” from the crowd. There were also a few very disappointed faces, now that Captain America and the strange-but-very-very-rich Stark were off the market. With each other. Thor overheard one particularly depressed young lady lament that all the good ones were gay – Thor, Loki, and now Steve and Tony. Apparently good looking guys were short on the ground in their small town, and the pool had just emptied a little bit more. 

Not that Steve and Tony cared about any of this. They hadn’t progressed further from holding hands in public, but it was a start, and they ignored everyone else during study hall and lunch in favor of talking to each other, and doing what Clint called (whilst pretending to gag) “ _staring into each other’s eyes_ ”. Tasha hadn’t even told him to behave and Thor suspected that she agreed with him. He couldn’t see Tasha ever wanting to stare into somebody’s eyes, unless of course she was about to kill them.

All in all he and Loki were both pleased that their efforts had paid off. Or, well, Loki’s efforts at least. Thor liked to think he had been a moral rock next to Tony the day before. Everything helps. 

Loki had come prepared for Thor’s Economics pop quiz that day. Thor had studied for a good three hours the evening before and had been very pleased with himself, although that was dulled somewhat when Loki reminded him that he still had a long way to go. All the same, he did well on Loki’s test during study hall, and that boosted his confidence to no end. That day in Economics he even surprised the teacher by answering a question correctly, and it was probably a miracle that Mr Kenney hadn’t keeled over with the shock. 

So when Loki invited him over that afternoon for more studying, Thor found himself looking forward to it. Mostly it was because it was _Loki_ , but there was a little bit there that he attributed to his new interest in studying. They stopped off at the baby store on the way home for more diapers and formula, and this time, without Tasha or any of their friends around, Loki felt free to tell the owner of the store about Briana. The two engaged in a long conversation about baby girls and how they were nicer than boys whilst Thor alarmed himself by studying some of the products available for more intimate use. 

Thor remembered what had happened last time and didn’t try to pay for anything, which resulted in a kiss to the cheek and a smile from Loki. “Thank you,” Loki whispered as he took his hand, and that was that. 

They could hear Briana before they even got in the front door, screeching about something, and concern shaded Loki’s features. He pushed the door open and let them both in, the din almost overwhelming inside. 

“Ana?” he called out, and Thor wasn’t sure if she’d be able to hear them at all. 

But Ana appeared around the corner from the kitchen, her apron covered in white flour. She looked rather flustered. “Thank goodness you’re home. She’s not interested in me right now. I had to retreat to the kitchen just to get away from the noise.” She nodded towards the living room, and Loki gave her a quick, apologetic grin before heading towards it. 

Briana was strapped firmly into her bouncer, arms stretching up towards the toys dangling above her. Rather than screaming out of discomfort, she seemed full of herself, bubbly and energetic, her mouth open as she shrieked at nothing in particular. 

“Baby!” Loki said, reaching towards her. “Why so noisy?”

She spotted him and screeched even louder, her arms reaching for him now instead of the toys. He unbuckled her and lifted her up, and like turning off a tap, she stopped screaming. Instead, she flopped into his shoulder and gurgled happily, drooling all over his shirt. 

From the kitchen, Thor and Loki heard what seemed like a noise of relief, and laughed. 

“You are so naughty sometimes,” Loki said to Briana, bouncing her carefully. “You mustn’t annoy the person who looks after you so I can go to school. Otherwise, who’s going to do it?” Briana didn’t have an answer, just grinned happily at Loki and drooled a little more. “Well, at least she’s feeling better, I guess.”

“You wouldn’t think she’d been sick,” Thor pointed out, stroking a chubby cheek with the back of his finger. Briana turned her attention to him, batting him with her hand until he let her grasp a finger. Her grip was tight but amusing, until she pulled it to her mouth and chomped down on it. 

“Woah! Bad baby!” It didn’t hurt, but Thor hadn’t exactly anticipated it and he could feel his finger oozing with saliva, which wasn’t really the nicest sensation in the world. 

Loki took his time freeing it, and Thor was left with a wet finger, which he hastily wiped on a tissue that Loki pulled from his pocket and gave to him. “It’s not _that_ bad,” Loki said, teasing him. “I’ve had worse.”

“I can imagine,” Thor said, not wanting to at all, really. 

“Come on. She can play on the floor while we work.”

They went down to Loki’s room, where Thor got the privilege of holding Briana while Loki spread out a thick blanket for her to roll around on before fetching a bucket of toys and spreading them around. Thor sat down on the bed and watched, letting Briana perch on his knee. She watched Loki with interest, as if she knew he was doing it for her, her wide eyes taking everything in. 

“Has she made any progress on the crawling front?” Thor asked. 

Loki chuckled. “Uh, not really. Well, she lifts herself up on her arms sometimes, so I guess she’s getting there. She’s better at rolling now though. She’ll get there.” He lifted Briana up from Thor’s knee and placed her on her tummy in the middle of the blanket. She lunged for a plastic toy and started shaking it, interested in the noise it made. 

“Well, that should occupy her for a little while,” Loki said. “Let’s get started while we can.”

Loki wasn’t kidding when he said he was happy to help Thor study. They poured over his workbooks, going through everything that Thor found difficult until he had grasped the majority of the material. They kept one eye on Briana at the same time, and every now and again one of them would have to hop up to rescue her from where she was attempting to escape, or, when she accidently hit herself in the head with a toy, comfort her. In the end she wore herself out and fell asleep on top of a toy car. Loki picked her up gently and put her down in her cot, and she barely moved. 

Ane brought them a snack and Coke, and told Thor he was staying for dinner. Thor didn’t protest and hoped Ane didn’t realize how secretly pleased he was. Loki did though, and elbowed him in the ribs. He phoned his mother to check, who didn’t mind given that they were studying – and Loki invited himself to confirm that with Frigga, pulling the phone away from Thor and having a nice chat. 

“Hey!”

“Hey what?” Loki teased, poking out a tongue. He gave Thor his phone back, having said their goodbyes to Frigga for both of them and hung up. 

“You gonna make a habit of that?” Thor asked, not pissed off in the slightest. 

“Most likely. Get used to it.”

Thor just snorted. Loki rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. “Ugh. My brain hurts. Do you feel like a break?”

“Stupid question,” Thor said. 

“Ha. Should have figured. How’s your brain doing?”

“It’s overworked and underpaid and wants 6 weeks of paid vacation.”

That made Loki laugh and hit him, fondly, in the side of his arm. “Tell it that it can apply for leave but it’s not likely to be approved.”

“Then it’ll quit and find a better-paying job.”

“Yeah, good luck in this economy,” Loki said, half-serious. He rolled back over, head next to Thor’s thigh. “It’ll find itself sitting at home on the unemployment benefit.”

“There are worse things,” Thor mused, absentmindedly stroking Loki’s cheek and smiling down at him. 

“Yeah, I suppose there are,” Loki mumbled, completely distracted by Thor’s fingers. “Mmm, that’s nice.” He closed his eyes, letting his head fall into Thor’s thighs. 

“You going to fall asleep?” Thor asked, not ceasing his ministrations. 

“Noooo… don’t want to.”

“You will, like that.”

“Don’t want to!” 

“Then sit up.”

“Give me an incentive.”

“I’ll keep touching you.”

“Always a good one.” Loki, though, made no effort to sit up.

“Not enough, huh?”

“Nope,” Loki said, his lips curling into a smile. “What else ya got?”

Thor said the first thing that came into his head. “Twenty Questions.”

“What?” Loki asked, half-laughing. “You wanna play that game?”

Thor shrugged. “Why not? It’ll be funner if we take away the age restriction.”

Loki sat up. “You want to play Twenty Questions about sex?”

“Does that _not_ sound like a fun game to play?”

Loki’s face crumpled into a smile. “Well… when you put it like that…”

“See?” Thor teased. “I got you to sit up, didn’t I?”

“You mentioned sex,” Loki said playfully, sitting back on his hands and grinning at Thor. “It’s an interesting topic.”

“Interesting? As in academic interest?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Hardly, you buffoon. Although…” he drifted off.

“Although what?”

Loki shrugged his shoulders. “How long have we been together?”

It was Thor’s turn to shrug. “Ummm... a month or so, maybe? Not sure.”

“Ok.” Loki pressed his lips together. “There’s still lots of things we don’t know about each other, isn’t there?”

This time, Thor was pretty sure both his eyebrows retreated into his hairline. “You want to know who I’ve had sex with?”

“Yeah,” Loki said, not breaking eye contact, as if it was a challenge. 

“Is this a good idea?” Thor asked cautiously.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, neither of us is gonna get jealous, right?”

“What, and storm out and we’ll never talk again and all that?”

“Well, I would hope not.”

“Me too,” Loki said after a moment. “Look, you don’t have to tell me anything if –“

“I do.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. If you’re ok with that.”

“I am. I promise not to storm out and never speak to you again.”

Thor chuckled. “Ditto.”

“Good. Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.” They hooked pinkies together, although Loki refused to let go, until Thor started to tickle him. They ended up lying on the bed next to each other, their feet on the pillows. 

“Right. Who’s starting?” Thor asked, his face full of Loki’s hair. He blew it away gently, until it sat on Loki’s face instead. 

Loki screwed up his face and swept his hair back over his ears. He huffed, and said, “You ask me first.”

“Really?” Thor asked, expecting to be the first to spill considering he had suggested the game in the first place. 

“Yes,” Loki said firmly. “I think. Just go, before I change my mind.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind going…”

“Thor!” That was accompanied by a hit to the stomach. “Just go.”

“Fine.” Thor breathed out through his nose, not sure where to start. Start clean, and work his way up? Or just go for it?

“I don’t care what you ask me first,” Loki said, after half a minute’s silence. 

“Ok,” Thor said, deciding to run with it. “When did you first have sex? And with who?”

“That’s two questions!”

“Well, one can’t really be answered without the other, so I think it counts as one.”

“No. It can totally be counted as two! That’s definitely two separate questions.”

“Fine. Start with the first one.”

“Ok. It was a couple of years ago. I was 14.”

Thor's mouth dropped open. “You were _14?_ Holy hell.”

Loki shrugged. “It… just happened, I guess.”

“Woah. Ok. And who with?”

Loki looked nervous, like he was worried Thor wouldn’t like what he had to say. “Please don’t get mad.”

“I won't. Honestly.”

“You'd better not. It was James.”

Thor turned his head towards Loki. “Why would I be mad if it was James?”

Loki shrugged. “I know how much you hate him.”

“Well, I do... but Loki, he _was_ your boyfriend. You must have liked him.”

“I did! I did. A lot. A lot more than he liked me back, apparently,” Loki said, a little grouchily.

Something occurred to Thor, and he felt his blood freeze in his veins. “Wait... he didn't _force_ you, did he?” His throat felt thick, his heart beat was pronounced. He wasn't sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

But Loki shook his head. “No. It was mutual. It was very mutual,” he said, a shy smile on his face.

Thor let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. _Thank fuck_. Or he would have had to add pulling fingernails and teeth to the list of things he wanted to do to James. “Where?”

“His parents place. They were watching movies downstairs. My parents – and his, I think – thought we were working on an assignment. That’s three questions.”

“You mean like we’re supposed to be studying?” Thor pointed out, making Loki laugh. 

“Yes, I guess so. We, um, _got distracted_ , I guess.”

“What was it like?” Thor was morbidly curious.

Loki looked pensive. “Four questions. It was ok... it hurt, at first. But when it got better, it was really good.”

“And your parents never found out?”

Loki shook his head. “Five? That we had sex? No, not that night. Mom figured it out about 5 months later.”

“And she let you keep going?”

“What do you think?” Loki said, giving up counting, and Thor had to laugh. 

“Ok. Good point. Alright, another question.”

“Another question? When do I get to cross-examine _you_?”

“Later, I swear! It’s just easier this way, I suppose. I promise you’ll get to ask me. I’m just… curious, that’s all.”

“Fine,” Loki said, as if he was reluctant, but Thor knew that look. He wasn’t that worried, or the lines around his eyes would have creased. 

“How many people have you had sex with?”

Loki’s mouth fell open at his boldness, before he had to laugh. “Oh my god, Thor. You really do want to know everything, don’t you?”

Thor shrugged, self-consciously. “Well, yeah, I guess so. I swear I’ll tell you all this stuff about me.”

Loki nodded. “Fair trade. Ok.” He pulled himself upright so he could look at Thor better. “Two people.”

“Two?” Thor asked, a little incredulous, because, for some reason, he had expected it to be more. “Ok then. Me and James?”

“Yup,” Loki said. “So if I suck at sex, I have you two to blame.” 

Thor roared with laughter. It took him a few moments to recover. “Oh no no no. You don’t get to blame other people. Anyway, you are _not_ bad at sex. You drive me fucking nuts.”

“Really?” Loki asked, a little shy. Red blossomed in his cheeks. 

“Yeah,” Thor whispered, and kissed him softly. “You are pretty fucking good.” Loki giggled and looked down at him, face bright red with embarrassment. 

“God, Loki, you seem so innocent sometimes I’m surprised you even made it to two!” Thor teased, rubbing Loki’s arms. 

“Hey! I’m not _that_ innocent, you should know that by now,” Loki protested. 

“Prove it,” Thor said, pretty sure that this could only end with the removal of their pants. He was looking forward to the opportunity.

“Fine!” Loki said. He looked thoughtful for a moment, and twisted the blankets between his fingers as if he was nervous. “Well… there’s something I haven’t shown you.” He looked anxious, like Thor was going to get mad at him for whatever it was. “But I don’t want to keep it from you, either, I guess.”

“What is it?” Thor asked, intrigued. He sat up, sitting across from Loki. “You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to. We can just stick to Twenty Questions. Or Thirty Questions, or whatever it ends up being.”

Loki smiled, but it didn’t last. “I don’t want this to be weird.”

Thor was lost. “You need to tell me more, babe.”

For a moment, he thought that perhaps Loki was going to back out. But then he spoke up. “I have… pictures.”

“Of what?” Thor asked. He wasn’t sure where this was going. 

“Of me and James,” Loki practically whispered.

“You have pictures…?” Thor asked, his voice trailing off. He wasn’t sure what to think of this one. He knew there was a high chance he would get irrationally jealous and try to burn the house down, but at the same time he _wanted_ to experience as much of Loki as possible, and that meant delving into some things that neither of them might have been too comfortable about. Thor could handle that, surely? And there was the small matter of his cock twitching at the thought of seeing Loki naked in a medium they had not yet shared together. 

He was willing to take the risk. 

“Ok. I want to see them,” he said decisively. 

“You sure?” Loki asked, not looking all that sure himself. 

“Yeah. We can put them back if I start to Hulk out.”

That made Loki laugh and relax, and he hopped off the bed and went over to his desk. He opened the bottom drawer and took out a metal box, the kind that had a lock on the front so no-one could get in. The key was hidden in a jar of pencils and Loki brought them both over to the bed. He sat cross legged next to Thor and picked up the box. A few jiggles of the key had it opened, and Thor peered over Loki's shoulder. There wasn't much, mainly three or four plain envelopes, a cd and what looked like a few childhood mementos. Loki pulled out one of the envelopes and put the box back on the bed.

Inside the envelope was a stack of pictures. The top one was of Loki and James, in a different place and time to the photo that Thor had seen of them before. They were smiling at the camera, and from the angle Thor could tell one of them had taken it.

The next one was of James alone, laying on a bed and smiling up at the camera, his hair messy and ruffled. He was good-looking, Thor had to admit, and he couldn’t blame Loki for falling for him. It was just a pity that he had turned out to be such a dick.

Thor felt that he ought to be jealous, or something, but there was a tiny part of him that boasted to James’ image that _he_ had Loki now, and James could never touch him again. With that boost of confidence, he encouraged Loki to keep going. 

Loki swapped to the next photo. This time, James was naked, his erect cock clearly visible, and ok, yes, this was a bit more than he thought he would ever see of James, but Thor found himself less perturbed by this than he thought he would be. 

Loki made his way through the photos slowly. After James there were pictures of Loki, naked and sprawled across the bed. In a few of the photos he was masturbating, apparently enjoying himself in front of the camera. Sitting next to him, Loki seemed to be going rather red, as if there was something embarrassing about seeking pleasure from his own body and having someone take a record of it. Thor leaned over to kiss his forehead, and then Loki kept going. There were quite a few pictures of him on his own, and they culminated in him using a black dildo, maybe the same one that sat in Loki’s drawer right next to the bed that they were sitting on. It was hot and so very, very wrong, but Thor seemed to be getting hard.

Then James and Loki were fucking, and at some point they had to have stopped to take pictures from as many angles as they could. The first of them were of Loki on his back, James between his legs. The photos were taken mainly from James’ perspective, and showed him inside Loki, stretching him open. Then Loki was on his hands and knees, then top of James (and some of these were clearly taken by Loki), and then on a couch in what must have been a living room. They were as explicit as they could have been, and Thor wanted (needed) desperately to both relieve his growing problem (immediately) and take his own photos of Loki (probably later). He shifted awkwardly, trying to hide his erection, but Loki caught on and laughed gleefully.

“If I'd realised that made you hot I would have shown them to you earlier.”

Thor screwed up his face. “Do you have any more?” he squeaked.

Loki laughed and pulled out the cd from the bottom of the lock box. “No more pictures. But I do have a video...”

The thought just about made Thor come right then and there. “I need to watch that.”

Loki pursed his lips. “Not right now. My grandmother's home and I don't think she'd take kindly to me watching my home-made porn with my boyfriend.”

Thor groaned. “You're evil.”

“I'll give you a blowjob if you promise to be quiet,” Loki said with a wicked grin, all qualms about showing his pornographic photographs to his new boyfriend apparently gone. 

Thor was _not_ going to say no. He shoved down his pants as quickly as he could, which made Loki laugh, but he didn’t really care because all his blood had swum south. 

Loki’s lips sunk down around his cock, wet and red and very inviting, and Thor held his hair away so he could see better. It was an intense relief to have friction on his cock after such a build-up. Loki hollowed his cheeks and sucked, his mouth hot and very, very good and _Jesus_ he was not going to last long, not with Loki licking him like that...

“Baby, baby, _fuck_...” Thor hissed, trying damn hard to not just explode. He had a reputation to uphold after all, and coming down Loki's throat after less than a minute would do nothing to improve it. But then those images of Loki, naked on the bed, flashed back onto his mind and he gave in, completely, and had to clench his mouth shut to stop from crying out as he came, Loki sucking it all down.

Loki pulled off him with a pop and grinned up at him, a flash of white semen on the edge of his lip. Thor pulled him up and kissed it off him.

“Good?” Loki asked, his eyes flashing with delight.

“Hmmph,” Thor grunted, because he hadn't quite regained the ability to talk just yet. Loki grinned and patted his chest, and flopped next to him on the bed with his legs pulled up.

“You look like you needed it,” he said, and quite possibly because he was the devil incarnate, started to casually flick through those pictures again. He took one off the pack and peered at it from several angles before declaring that the exposure was all wrong. Thor just shook his head.

Loki continued to flick through them, studying the pictures, and Thor wondered how he'd feel about the two of them making some as well. He had a half-decent digital camera that would do. He rolled over to press into Loki's side and looked at the pics as well, seeing now that taking pictures while having sex was probably a bit awkward. They could figure it out though.

The pictures were _hot_. Even if they weren't of Loki and he having sex, it was still two hot naked guys fucking, with the extra bonus that one of them was Loki. Thor had seen his fair share of gay porn over the years, some of it good and some of it not so good, but there was something about personal videos and photos that seemed more erotic. Maybe because it was _real_ \- nobody was being paid for it, no-one had to pretend they enjoyed it more or less than they actually did. The pleasure writ on Loki’s face was real. 

Thor vowed to start building his own personal collection. 

“I’m not averse to trying this with you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Loki said casually, still thumbing through the pictures. 

Had he been thinking out loud? Or was he just that obvious? Either way, Thor was **not** going to argue. “That would be… good,” he said cautiously. 

Loki put the photos down and laughed. “Just ‘good’? Babe, you can be more excited than that, I promise not to give you side-eye.”

“Aww, Loki, you are so sweet.”

Loki hit him with the stack of photos and promptly went back to going through them. “I think we could do so much better than this though,” he said.

“Really?” Thor rolled over until he was against Loki’s thigh, looking up at him. 

“Yeah. We could, you know, do more…”

“Like…?” Thor prompted, distracted by Loki’s thigh. It was rather nice. He ran a hand up the inside, making Loki shiver. 

“Like… just more, I guess. Like what we do when we have sex, I suppose...” Loki trailed off without really answering the question.

Thor squinted and looked up. “Loki, are you embarrassed?” He couldn’t help a little chuckle at the end. 

Loki went bright red again. “No!” he protested. “Not really…”

“So you can do it but you find it hard to talk about?”

“…I guess? I suppose it just seems kinda crude.”

“Hmm. Ok then.” Thor leaned forward to kiss Loki’s thigh through his pants. “This would be so much easier if you took these off.”

“You take them off,” Loki retorted, before he’d even registered what Thor had said. 

“Fine,” Thor said, before Loki could change his mind. He sprung up onto his knees and went straight for the belt.

“Well, this is romantic,” Loki said dryly, as he leaned back to give Thor more room. 

“Would you like me to bring you flowers?” Thor asked, giving as good as he could get. He got the belt free and started working on the front of Loki’s pants. 

“Well, I wouldn’t say no,” Loki pointed out, grinning.

“I’ll remember that for next time,” Thor said, not entirely sure if he would, given his blood was in the process of vacating his brain. 

Loki lifted his hips to help Thor ease his pants over his legs, then went back to looking at the photos while Thor chucked his pants carefully onto the dresser so he could find them later. He lay back down beside Loki, quite enjoying the angle and the new view. Loki was growing hard, and Thor slid his hand close to his bulge, enough just to brush past but not enough to leave Loki with any sort of satisfaction. 

“Tease,” Loki muttered, and spread his legs a little further apart. 

Thor just grinned and went back to studying the growing bulge in Loki’s underwear. He teased Loki again, several times, never letting himself do more than brush softly. Loki growled at him, and shifted his hips in a desperate attempt to get closer. Thor chuckled and took his hand away completely. “I don’t think so.”

“Ugh. I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” Thor sucked on his index finger until it was wet and glistening, and slid his fingers under the edge of Loki’s underwear. Above him, he heard Loki gasp as he found his entrance, and rubbed it gently until it was wet and Loki began to relax. He carefully slipped his index finger inside, mesmerised by how hot and tight it was. 

He felt a hand at his neck, its fingers knotting through his hair, and Loki’s other hand slipped down to cover his, controlling how fast he moved his finger in and out. They worked together for Loki’s pleasure, and even though he wasn’t being touched, Thor felt superheated to the point of combustion. He kissed Loki’s bare thigh and felt it trembling, and he could see the head of Loki’s cock poking out the top of his underwear, hard and shining and precum glistening at the tip. Stuff Loki’s orgasm, he was going to come first. 

“More?” he asked Loki softly, who couldn’t speak, and just nodded his head and gasped. Thor smiled and slipped his finger out, much to Loki’s annoyance. “Wanna get some lube, don’t wanna hurt you,” he said, and flopped over the side of the bed to reach for the right drawer. 

“Hurry up,” Loki said. “You’re taking too long.”

“It’s been half a second!”

“Yeah. Half a second too long.”

Thor chuckled. He found a bottle of lube and shimmied back over to Loki. “I got strawberry, hope that’s ok –“

“WAHHHHH!”

“NOOOOO!!!” Loki’s cry of frustration managed to drown out Briana, but only for a second. “Babies!” Loki covered his face with his hands and rolled over onto his stomach, pretending to cry. “Her timing, I swear she does it on purpose…”

Thor just sat there with a bottle of lube in one hand, not quite sure what had just happened. It took him a moment to realise that Briana had woken up and was seriously displeased with something, and not for the first time (and probably not for the last…) he rued her ability to disturb them during sex. 

Loki rolled back over and stared at Thor through the fingers he still had over his eyes. 

“If we stay quiet will she shut up?” Thor asked, after a moment. 

Loki just shook his head. “She’ll get worse,” he said, his words muffled. “She doesn’t like being ignored.”

Loki was, quite frankly, in no shape to go anywhere, and so Thor dropped the lube onto the bed sheet and stumbled to his feet. He went into the nursery, where Briana was sitting up, one hand clutching the bars, her face red and shiny with tears. 

“I’m sure whatever it is, it’s not that bad,” Thor said, though Briana didn’t seem to care. He wiped his hands with a baby wipe and then used a dollop of hand sanitizer, hoping it was enough. Carefully, he detached Briana’s hand from the bar and lifted her out of the cot, thankful when he didn’t smell anything catastrophic. 

“What’s your problem, huh? Or do you just like interrupting things?” She stared at him mournfully, threatening to cry again. Thor gently wiped her face with a cloth before carrying her through to the bedroom. 

Loki had managed to compose himself somewhat, and held out his arms for Briana. “Come here, baby. What’s the matter?” She sniffled and curled up into him. “Don’t tell me you have a fever,” he said, and felt her forehead.

“Is she ok?” Thor asked, suddenly afraid that her fever had come back. 

“Yeah. Her forehead’s fine. Thank goodness. Maybe she’s just hungry. I didn’t feed her before, she fell asleep.” Loki shifted on the pillows and manhandled his shirt up to expose his chest. “Come on, girly. Please just let it be that you’re hungry.”

Briana wasted no time in latching on, and Thor saw Loki visibly relax. “Just a hungry baby,” Loki mused, and sighed. “Well, um, considering we can’t go back to what we were doing, do you think you could quiz me on my Classics?”

It wasn’t the most exciting thing they’d ever done, but at least Thor got to repay some of the help Loki had given him for his Economics test. Loki got all of the questions right and so Thor had to start making up his own, and by the time Briana had finished Thor thought that _he_ might have been able to pass the Classics test. 

Loki burped Briana, then offered to show Thor again how to change a diaper, considering how long it took him last time and the stress he endured during it. Loki took his time and Thor took mental notes, hoping he wouldn’t run out of memory. Briana grinned up at him the whole time, as if she was laughing, and though Thor was glad she was feeling better he wasn’t sure how he felt about Briana apparently thinking the whole thing was hilarious. 

“Thor? Are you listening?”

“Huh? Yes?”

“Really? So what color pants does she wear on Mondays?”

Thor floundered for a moment, before realizing that Loki was taking the mickey. “Very funny.”

Loki threw a clean diaper at him. “Pay attention, then!”

“I was! Briana distracted me!”

Briana gurgled, then, as if to say ‘yes, yes I did.’

Loki snorted. “Alright. Hopefully she’s ready to fall asleep again.”

“And if she’s not?”

“If she’s not, then we postpone our extracurricular activities to another day and do some more studying.”

Thor prayed that Briana would decide she needed another nap. 

Loki refused to leave her to fall asleep on her own in case she wasn’t really sleepy, and so he put her down in the cot but sat down in the armchair next to it. Thor perched on the armrest and offered to sing Briana to sleep. Loki suggested that if they did want her to sleep, Thor’s singing probably wasn’t going to help. Thor said that it was simply a suggestion and there was no need for Loki to be so rude. 

As it was, Briana played with her toys for a little while and then began nodding off. She fought sleep for a while, trying desperately to keep her eyes open, but in the end it was a lost cause and Loki made sure she was sleeping in the right position before they crept out, and this time, shut the door behind them. 

Loki checked the baby monitor to ensure it was on and working and set it back down on the bedside table. “I need to use the bathroom. Can you keep an ear on her?” 

“I think so,” Thor said, preferring to get straight back into it but he could endure another few minutes. “Don’t take your time.”

“I will,” Loki said, and flounced out the door. 

Briana was silent, sleeping quietly, and so Thor preoccupied himself by flicking through the photos that Loki hadn’t put away. Loki was right, they _could_ do a lot better. 

Loki announced his return by flopping onto the bed and taking the photos out of Thor’s hand. “My god. Where were we?” he asked, looking at the top photo and before putting them on the floor. 

“Near orgasm.”

Loki burst into laughter. “Oh, how could I forget,” he teased, patting the sides of his underwear. 

Thor crawled up the bed. “Maybe we should skip to the part where we take off our clothes.”

“I think that’s a good idea, Captain.” Loki paused. “Race you.”

Thor needed a moment to realize that Loki was suggesting a race to see how fast they could disrobe, and thus lost a few precious seconds and came a miserable second. “Not fair!” he protested, as he tossed his shirt into the corner of the room while Loki sat before him completely naked. 

“Life’s not fair, get used to it,” Loki said. “Now where did you put that lube?”

As it turned out, Thor was sitting on it. He rescued it and put it on the pillow next to Loki, before sliding between his raised legs. He stopped a moment, just to take him in, heart beating a million miles a minute. “You’re so beautiful,” he said, and meant every word. 

Loki blushed and wrapped his hands around the back of Thor’s head. “I wasn’t going to say no, you know,” he whispered. 

“I meant it,” Thor said back, closing the distance between them to kiss the end of Loki’s nose. “You.” He kissed his cheek. “Are.” Lips to his forehead. “So.” Cheekbone. “Beautiful.” Mouth. “I’m so lucky to have you,” he whispered, feeling a little like he was choking, quite sure he was turning his own shade of red. 

The smile on Loki’s face was worth it. “Don’t get soppy on me,” Loki said, his breath catching in his throat and betraying how affected he was. 

“Can’t help it. And you are getting so much better at taking compliments,” Thor said, grinning. 

Loki blushed and laughed. “Shut up and get on with it.”

Thor was happy to oblige. His tongue slid along Loki's neck as his hands gripped his thighs, sliding from top to bottom to top over his skin and making him shudder with need. When they pressed close enough Thor could feel Loki, hard against his stomach, and his own cock was heavy and straining. With care, Thor licked down Loki's chest, down over one breast and to the nipple, still slightly sensitive from feeding. He lingered, for a moment, to make sure Loki was alright with this but all he could hear were deep gasps and muttered curses and so he started to lick, just gently at first.

Loki gripped the back of his head, but not to ask him to turn away. Thor remembered the last time they had done this, and how Loki seemed to have enjoyed it just as much as him, and so he kept going. He wrapped his mouth around Loki’s breast and began to suck, encouraging the milk to flow. This time it came easily, and Loki gasped as it filled Thor’s mouth. He swallowed it down lest it overflow, although a little always seemed to escape, trickling down Loki’s skin until it was almost a flood.

Thor turned his attention to the other one, eager to taste. The thin liquid came easily again and glided down his throat, and as he swallowed he felt Loki's hands stroking his hair. He brought a hand up to massage Loki's other breast as he sucked, and he kneaded it in his palm, rubbing the nipple, and clearly Loki was sensitive because he was gasping, his hands tight in Thor's hair.

He pulled off Loki's breast and leant up to kiss him, his mouth still full of sweet milk. He felt Loki reach for it, lapping at it with his tongue, and he let Loki pull it from his mouth. Thor was aching now, desperate, and with one final kiss he started to make his way down Loki's body. There was a thin line of white down from the breast he had massaged, and he licked his way down it, all the way down to his belly button.

He let his fingers trace the stretch marks that adorned Loki's belly, victory stripes from carrying Briana. He kissed each gently, making his way around his hips, and on the last he looked up to see Loki watching him. “Gorgeous,” he murmured, and saw in Loki's skin the memory and story of new life. It was glorious.

“Do it,” Loki whispered, and Thor just couldn't wait any longer. He scrambled upright and Loki reached over to pull open his bedside drawer, and it didn't long for Thor to pull a condom out of the box and find the bottle of lube he’d left on the pillow.

He rolled the condom on before his fingers were too shaky to do any more, and lathered two fingers with lube. He reached forwards and downwards and Loki shifted his hips to help, and as Thor moved over him to kiss him deeply he entered him with both fingers and swallowed his gasp.

Loki writhed underneath him, returning his kisses with passion, body shifting and moving to accommodate the fingers that Thor had so far inside him. Sometimes the pleasure was too much and he had to break the kiss to moan, and then Thor had to follow him with his mouth to silence him again.

“More,” Loki gasped, and Thor kissed his chest.

“Be patient,” he murmured against his skin, and licked a line to Loki's nipple before taking it back inside his mouth. He sucked hard and swallowed, and entered Loki with another finger, and Loki shook so strongly that Thor could feel his legs hitting him in the side. He punched his fingers in and out and sucked at Loki's breasts until his chest was covered in dashes of white.

Only then did he slide out his fingers and prepare himself. He bent down, but only to lift up Loki, and sat him on his lap. With desperate eyes Loki grinded up against him and Thor felt their cocks slide against each other and Loki's breasts rub on his chest, and unable to wait any longer he lifted Loki's hips with two strong hands. Loki found his cock and let Thor settle him down again, guiding him into his hole, until he'd sunken down as far as he could go.

They breathed as one, foreheads pressed together, and Loki let his tongue flit out to lick off a spot of milk on Thor's lower lip. They kissed, and Thor held Loki, keeping him still until he was whining to be let free.

Loki balanced with a hand on Thor's shoulder as he rose, then sank again, and after a few moments of slow, steady sex Thor raised his hips as Loki slid down, and then they were in rhythm together, bodies hot and sweaty. As they fucked Thor found Loki's chest again and sucked until his chin was white with it, milk dribbling down his jaw, and Loki had to lick it off again.

Without warning Loki pushed against his shoulders and flung him back towards the bed, and then he was holding him down and pushing up and down on his cock. Thor looked down and saw Loki's breasts, low now, and beyond that he could see his cock, hard and stiff, and Loki taking it inside him, again and again.

Loki was rambling, strange words that didn't mean anything, and Thor felt the same – that all this pleasure inside him had to go somewhere and so out it came in words, and he told Loki how sexy he was and how it felt so fucking good, and it must have had the right effect because Loki gasped and fucked himself harder.

Thor was so close he could almost see it, and Loki was nearly crying, his eyes streaming with tears, and so Thor knew he wasn't far away either. He glanced down again and saw Loki's nipples dribbling with milk and the sight made him shudder and then he was coming, pushing up into Loki with all he had. Incoherent with pleasure he pulled Loki down for a kiss, his body trembling, and Loki tightened around him and took what he could.

“Fuck!” Thor gasped, and pulled out of Loki, his chest heaving and white with drips of milk. Loki was begging, beyond desperate, and Thor lifted him until he was resting against the pillows once again. He pulled at Loki's nipple with one hand and fisted his cock with the other, and Loki was barely able to gasp a warning before he came, strips of semen lacing his chest. He was still coming when Thor bent down, hungry for the taste, and lapped at the whiteness that covered him.

“Oh my god,” Loki said, his voice trembling, and grasped at Thor's hair as he licked at what he could. “Oh my god.”

Thor cleaned him, finding every drop, and moved down to kiss his softening cock. He pulled off the condom and tossed it in the trash can, and even before it had hit the bottom Loki was licking his chest, his tongue so much more delicious than a tissue or a cloth.

Thor slid a finger over the opening between Loki’s legs, rubbing it gently. “You're still wet,” he said hoarsely, and Loki looked up at him, eyes bright and shining.

“Yeah?” he said, and something shifted inside Thor at the sound of his voice. 

“Yeah. Want me to fix it?” he asked, buoyed by the courage that came from really awesome sex.

“You sure?” Loki asked, serious, but nothing in his demeanour suggested he wasn’t interested, and so Thor nodded his head. “Ok.”

Slowly, Thor moved until he was lying down. After a moment’s hesitation and then vocal encouragement from Thor, Loki straddled him, facing the wall, and shifted upwards slowly until he was above Thor's face.

Below him, Thor lifted his hands to cup Loki's ass, pulling apart his cheeks almost reverently, until he could see Loki's hole, still stretched and open. He pushed a finger in first, making Loki shake and gasp, and watched it slide in and out for a while. Then Loki said his name, as if as a warning, and Thor let his finger slip out. He reached up and kissed Loki's skin, and then moved to his hole. He licked around it, cleaning up what he could, sucking on the skin. His courage building, his tongue glided slowly over Loki's hole, just gently, and then Loki sounded like he was almost _dying_.

“That ok?” Thor asked, breathless, and it took a moment for Loki to compose himself and tell him to keep going. 

Tentatively, Thor began licking him again, not sure how far to go or what Loki liked, and decided to let Loki’s gasps and moans guide him. He pressed a little deeper, and Loki only just managed to muffle a squeal, his body clenching. 

“More, keep doing that,” Loki gasped, before Thor could second guess himself. “Please.”

Happy to oblige, Thor kept at his task, letting his tongue slide inside. Loki was mewling and moaning above him, his entire body shaking, and just the thought that Loki was getting off to this made him hard. Rimming was something he’d never thought he’d do himself, given that it had never appealed to him with previous partners. But with Loki? He’d do anything. He could taste the strawberry lube, and chased it with his tongue, sliding his hands up the front of Loki’s thighs to steady him. 

“More more more… please,” Loki begged, and Thor realized that Loki was stroking himself when their hands collided at his groin, and just the thought made his cock twitch. “God gonna come, gonna come… uh, Thor!” Loki pulled off him suddenly, leaving his hands empty, but Loki had just scooted backwards until his cock was in front of Thor’s mouth. He didn’t hesitate. 

He took Loki as deep as he could, sucking hard with no pretence to tease. He fondled Loki’s balls with one hand and reached down to slide two fingers inside him with the other, and that was enough, because Loki was coming in his mouth, body jerking above him, muffled swear words slipping through the hand on his mouth. 

“Oh god!” Loki exclaimed as Thor sucked the last out of him, swallowing it with the rest, and then with trembling legs dismounted to lie beside Thor. “Ohhh… that was amazing.”

“Yeah?” Thor asked, pleased that Loki had enjoyed it but very conscious of his hard cock. He was dying for release. 

“Yeah. Oh, were you wanting something?” Loki asked, his smile too fond to be patronising. 

“Maybe,” Thor said, and winced. He wasn’t sure any more blood could fit in his dick but it seemed like his body was trying. 

“Let me help,” Loki said, the words like heaven to Thor’s ears, and the hand that suddenly enveloped his cock even better. “I’ve never had anyone do that to me,” he whispered, and Thor was under no illusions as to what he was referring. “It was incredible. You’re so amazing.” 

“Keep going,” Thor said, grinning, and Loki slapped him lightly on the chest. 

“Be serious,” Loki said, but he was smiling just as much as Thor, and his hand was working him perfectly, doing it just the way he liked, and by Christ he was not going to last long. Loki wasn’t letting up, wasn’t going to tease him, and Thor was pretty sure he was going to implode and leave a mess, and then Loki rubbed the head of his cock at the same he was jerking it and fuck fuck fuck… 

“Fuck baby just like that, yes, yes…” Thor could feel his orgasm building, everything tightening, and then there was the moment of release and his mind went blank with pleasure, body twitching as something akin to electrical shocks raced around inside him, and Loki was milking him, his hands magic… 

He came around to Loki cleaning his stomach with his tongue, and the sight alone was enough to make his exhausted cock twitch. “God, Loki…”

“I had to try and return the favour somehow,” Loki said, and went back to his post-coital activity. Thor was tired, so sated, ready to sleep, and he closed his eyes, the bed so comfortable. 

He wasn’t sure how long Loki let him sleep for, but when he was shaken awake Loki’s hair was wet and he smelt like almonds, his skin still glistening with water. “Dinner’s in 15 minutes, have a shower if you want one.”

Thor wanted to protest that he had no spare clothes, and he was too tired to get up, but then reality hit and he realized that he was covered in a mixture of breast milk, come, and saliva, and he was about to have dinner with his boyfriend’s family, so perhaps a shower was in order, after all. He groaned and rolled out of bed, literally. 

“I’m a zombie,” he pointed out drowsily, but Loki just pointed towards the shower and grinned. 

“Thor!” he called after him, when Thor made for the bathroom automatically. 

“What?” Thor mumbled, his brain fuzzy. 

“For god’s sake, put on some clothes!”

“Oh. Right.” Loki had to help him gather up his clothes from where they’d been thrown, and then procured a clean pair of boxers for him that he was pretty sure he’d fit. Thor got his jeans on somehow and then, holding the rest of his clothes in one hand, staggered towards the bathroom. 

He stood for a while under the hot spray, letting it clear his head until he felt human again. He used Loki’s toiletries again, and, after his shower, borrowed someone’s mouthwash before putting it back exactly as it was before he’d touched it. Feeling more respectable, he re-joined Loki, who insisted on blow drying his hair. By the time Loki was finished, Thor wasn’t sure if he was at his boyfriends or a hairdressers. 

“There. You look gorgeous,” Loki said, putting his brush down. 

“Mmm. Thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome.” Loki wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and leaned on him, kissing his cheek. “You know what?”

“What?”

“We didn’t finish Twenty Questions. We got distracted.”

“Oh. So we didn’t.”

“So you know what?”

“What?”

“Next time, it’s your turn.”

“I thought I get to do what I want with you if I pass my test?”

“Well, yes, that still stands, but you have to pass your test first, don’t you?” Loki teased, before saying, “I don’t think you’ll have a problem, though. You did really well today.”

“Want to sit it for me?” Thor suggested, only half-kidding. 

“Ha. I think they’d notice it wasn’t you, believe it or not.”

“I still think it’s worth a shot.”

“You would. Now, come, dinner time. And if anyone asks, we’ve been studying all afternoon.”

“Right. They aren’t going to believe that, are they?”

“No, not at all. But it’s easier than discussing my sex life with my parents.”

“That’s understandable. What about Briana?”

“Still sleeping.” Loki grabbed the baby monitor from his bedside table. “If she wakes up I’ll come back for her.”

Ane knocked on the door just then, and called through the wood that dinner was ready. 

“I hope she made enough for your appetite,” Loki mused, as Thor stood up.

“What are you trying to say?” Thor asked, pretending to be offended. 

“Nothing,” Loki said, skipping ahead of him. “Just, I kinda wore you out, didn’t I?” he said, turning around, a cheeky smile on his face. 

“Oh, I think I could have gone another couple of rounds,” Thor said, wrapping his arms around Loki’s waist and going in for a kiss. “We’ll have to try it one day.”

“Try what?”

“Marathon sex.”

Loki just smiled, very widely.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I literally have no excuses for taking TWO YEARS to post this, so I'm not even going to go there, except to offer an apology and promise that it shouldn't take quite so long to post the next chapter! I haven't been completely idle though - I did go through the whole fic and rewrite some parts that were completely bugging me. Nothing major has changed in terms of plot so no need to re-read it. I did play around with Loki's previous relationships, so a note regarding that (it's the TL;DR version): you can basically disregard anything/one bar James (who isn't Bucky, I have to add - I named him that without thinking!) and Thor. 
> 
> That having been said, I am finding it hard at this length of fic to keep everything straight. I take notes and re-read copiously but if there is anything that seems very fishy please let me know and I will try and fix it :).
> 
> I'm also keen to get this fic moving as there is SO much to come! This fic has lived in my heads for nearly five years now and I practically have an entire universe in there that needs to come out before it drives me crazy (it may be too late!). So things that may seem irrelevant at the moment are likely to come into play later. 
> 
> Also quick note on something that happens later in the chapter - I'm taking massive liberties with social services in this fic. It likely bears no resemblance to real life. This plays out later in the fic so bear with me :).
> 
> Thanks everyone ! :3

The thought of marathon sex occupied him the rest of that night and the next day, and motivated him to continue studying for his economics test. If Loki was serious about letting him do _anything_ if he passed, then Thor could be serious about studying. 

Now, that was an unfamiliar concept. 

They studied again the next afternoon after school, but at Thor’s, and passed on the opportunity to continue their game of Twenty Questions. Thor’s economics test was the next day, and so was Loki’s Classics test, and so they studied quietly side by side on Thor’s bed until their brains were bursting. Frigga was so proud of Thor’s new-found penchant for studying that she made cookies especially, and Thor spent the rest of the week picking out the crumbs from between the sheets. 

Loki couldn’t stay for dinner as he had to get home to see Briana, and Thor walked him home slowly, hand in hand in the fading light.

“So,” Loki said, and bumped his shoulder against Thor’s. “Are you going to nail this test tomorrow, or what?”

Thor laughed. “Well, if I don’t, I’m going to be pretty pissed off, that’s for sure.”

Loki shrugged and smiled up at him. “You had everything down pat this afternoon. I can’t see how you wouldn’t do well.”

“Don’t put the curse on me, Loki!”

“Like I would,” Loki said. “I’m just saying that you’ve done the work for it and you deserve to do well. And I think you will.”

Something like a warm glow started burning in Thor’s stomach. Loki’s confidence was not just appreciated for what it was, it also give _him_ confidence. For the first time, Thor was looking forward to a test. Loki was right, he did have the ability now to do well. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous. 

They walked quietly for a while, enjoying the late afternoon sun and a breeze that lifted the ends of their hair from their shoulders. After being cooped up inside for so long, it was nice to stretch their legs and breathe in the fresh air. The company was nice too. 

Thor stayed at Loki’s house long enough to remind Briana of his continued existence, and endure another smushed hand in his face as a welcome. He realized he was becoming used to her shows of affection when he didn’t even flinch. He was rather proud of that. She got a kiss on the cheek in return, and didn’t even try to pull on his hair. He wasn’t sure if he was happy or sad about that.

Reluctantly he parted ways with Loki at the door, kissing him on the nose as farewell. “You should do some more studying tonight,” Loki said, thoroughly ignoring the spectacular pout that Thor presented in reply. “You won’t regret it.”

“I wouldn’t regret staying the night either, but I suppose that’s out of the question.”

“Ha! Maybe another night, if you’re good,” Loki said, giving him a wink before literally pushing him out of the door. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Thor saluted as he walked backwards down the path, glad that the only thing that Loki had to throw at him was Briana, and he wasn’t likely to resort to that.

*

Reluctant as he might have been, Thor did put in another couple of hours of study that night, until he thought his brain was going to burst and there couldn’t possibly be room for anything else in there. He staggered into bed an hour before his normal bedtime and was asleep before his head hit the pillow. 

*

All that study, however, couldn’t do anything about the nerves that starting building up in Thor’s stomach as he took his seat in Economics the next day. He drummed his hands on the desk top for something to do, trying not to think about how easy it would be for him to forget everything, or for him to have studied completely the wrong things, or for him to just totally balls it up. 

He didn’t want to fail. Failing meant that he was letting down Loki, and Briana, and his parents. For some reason, it felt like everything was now boiling down to this moment – completing it successfully meant that things would be ok, and failing meant that all the promises he had made to everyone lately were just mud. 

So, no pressure then. 

Trying to remind himself that this test was not the make or break of the rest of his academic career, he took a deep breath and reminded himself that he wasn’t an idiot, no matter what Tony liked to say every now and again. 

He kept that thought in his mind as the papers were given out. He stared at the back of it as it lay face down on his desk, and wondered how a simple piece of paper could cause so much anxiety. For the first time, he realized why Loki put so much stock in studying. 

He was so focused on being unfocused that he almost missed the start of the test. Everyone else was on the first question by the time he turned his paper over, almost too afraid to do anything other than scrawl his name at the top. 

But the first question was easy. So was the second. And the fourth, and the fifth .The sixth was tricky, but he worked through it. He finished the rest several minutes before the end of the test, and went over his answers before sighing with relief when Mr Kenney called time up. The nervousness that he felt when he handed over his test paper was unfamiliar. 

For the first time that he could remember, the result actually _mattered_. 

*

“How’d it go?” Loki asked him, before anything else. They walked down the hall together, Loki towards Classics and Thor towards Science. 

“Good,” Thor said, and he meant it. “Really good. I think I got most of them.”

Loki’s smile was gorgeous. “I’m proud of you,” he said, barely containing his happiness at how well Thor had done. “See, I knew you could do it.”

“Don’t! I haven’t gotten the results back yet! I might have failed everything.”

But Loki just laughed. “I doubt it. You were doing too well in your studying to not at least pass.”

Thor shrugged, trying not to let onto how much he needed Loki’s reassurance. “I hope so.”

“I know so. Damn, I gotta go. I have my test. See you at lunch.” Loki kissed him on the cheek and turned to his Classics classroom where Steve was waiting for him. 

“Yeah. Hey, good luck!” Thor held up a hand in farewell. “Not that you need it or anything.”

“I do. Thank you,” Loki said. “Don’t burn anything down in Science.” 

Thor had just thought of something snarky to say in reply when Loki winked and ducked out of sight.

*

Thor didn’t burn anything down in Science. 

It was pretty hard to burn anything in Science anyway when the entire period consisted of learning the periodic table. Thor had to settle for fantasising about burning the place down instead. 

*

Loki beat him to lunch. Thor found him halfway through the day’s macaroni, which according to Steve was “pretty good”. Clint’s eyes lit up and he dashed for the back of the ever-growing line. 

Thor eyed it warily. If it wasn’t for his stomach growling and trying to eat its way through his oesophagus, he would have skipped the line entirely and just stolen Loki’s garlic bread instead. 

“Don’t even think about it,” Loki said, and covered the bread with his hand. Apparently, Thor had been speaking out loud. 

“Fine,” Thor muttered, and held his head up high as he joined the queue. 

“Aw, wouldn’t he let you share?” Tasha teased over his shoulder as she followed behind. 

“Apparently, it wasn’t burned today.”

“Well, that’s a first. How was your test?”

“Doable,” Thor said, with no little pride.

“He’s rubbing off on you.”

“Do you approve?”

“You know I approve. You think I would have let all this carry on if I didn’t?” Tasha smirked.

“Huh. You _like_ to think you have that much power.”

“And you like to think you wield more of it than you actually do.”

“Are you still plotting to take over a Third World country?”

“Who said _Third_ World? And hurry up, I’m starving. Can we at least get to the end of the line before Clint eats it all?”

Thor had let the line get ahead of them, and they shuffled up with their trays. 

“I’m happy for you, you know that right?” Tasha said, serious now. 

“Yeah. Of course.”

“And that no matter what, we’re friends, right?”

“Yes…”

“And that you can tell me anything. You _and_ Loki.” 

Something about the tone of her voice made Thor stop moving. “Tash?”

She stared at him. “I won’t tell. You can trust me.”

Thor had never had a reason to doubt her, and she knew it. There were very few things he would not tell her. Actually, really only one… He felt strange, like the hairs on the back of his neck were prickling, and she wasn’t looking away. 

“I - …” His tongue stuck in his mouth. “Do you….” 

“Yes,” she said simply, as if she had known what he was going to say, even when he hadn’t a clue. 

“I don’t think…”

“No. Later.” Tasha jerked her head, and Thor realized that the lady behind the counter was speaking to him. Feeling rather like he was in the Twilight zone, Thor numbly turned away. 

“Uh, pasta, please?”

*

Thor slid his tray alongside Loki’s and squeezed in beside him. He didn’t realize how out of sorts he appeared to be until Loki’s hand gripped his thigh and he turned to meet raised eyebrows. Loki didn’t have to say anything for Thor to know he was wondering what was up, and he half shrugged and glanced towards the cafeteria clock as if to say _I’ll tell you later_.

Loki seemed satisfied at that and turned back to the remnants of his garlic bread. 

“Um, how was your test?” Thor remembered to ask, his voice sounding only slightly stranger than normal. 

Loki held his glance a little longer than usual but had obviously decided not to press the issue. “It was fun.”

“ _’Fun’_ ”? Clint said suddenly, pulling his face out of his pasta. He said everything that Thor had been about to. “How is a test ‘fun’?”

“Well, it wasn’t a major test,” Loki pointed out. “And I like Classics.”

“But but… _test_ …!” 

It was Loki’s turn to smirk. “Yeah. And tests can be fun.”

“You’re weird,” Clint said, staring at Loki like he wasn’t sure he was real. 

“Clint.”

“Yeah Tash?”

“Shut up.”

*

They walked slowly home, enjoying the prospect of a study-free afternoon stretching out ahead of them. Even Loki, who apparently relished the idea of reading textbooks in his spare time, had agreed that they were allowed a break from studying every now and again. 

“It doesn’t mean _no_ more study. Even when you don’t have a test. It’s just for today.”

“Sure,” Thor said amicably, before the rest of what Loki was saying caught up to him. “Wait, what you mean ‘ _even when I don’t have a test_ ’?”

“Have you studied so hard you’ve lost the ability to understand plain English?” Loki teased. 

“No! I just mean, why study when there isn’t a test?”

Loki rolled his eyes so loudly Thor could hear it. “Thor, darling, have you learned nothing the past few days? Studying is not just about doing well in tests. It’s about doing well _all the time_. Do you know how much easier it makes tests and essays? You don’t have to relearn everything before you start.”

Even Thor could see the logic in that. “Okayyy… but how much studying are we talking about here?”

Loki shrugged. “However much you need in order to understand everything you’re meant to be learning. And a little more doesn’t hurt. Just cos you attended a class and paid attention doesn’t mean you retained all the information the teacher had to give. Brains don’t work like that, not for normal people like you and I anyway. Most of the time we would only retain a small percentage of the information that we learned that day in class.”

“Then what’s the point in even going to class?” Thor asked, indignant. 

“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer.”

*

Thor lounged around with Loki for the rest of the day. Literally. His first thought was that they could carry on their game of Twenty Questions, but he couldn’t even muster up the energy to get undressed, and apparently neither could Loki. Briana lay between them on the bed, having woken from her nap eager to chew things and produce copious amounts of saliva. 

“I am so sorry, she’s teething…” Loki said for the thirteenth time as he tried to wipe off drool from Thor’s shirt. “That should come out in the wash.”

However, sometime around the sixth time it had happened, Thor had somehow managed to get used to it. “It’s ok,” he said, grinning at the exasperation on Loki’s face. “I’m choosing to take it as some sort of a compliment.”

Loki looked at him like he was going mad. “You’re weird, but I still like you.”

“Apparently, so does she,” Thor pointed out, trying to pull Briana away from his shirt sleeve. “You’re a monkey, little one.” 

He pulled her up gently until she was resting stomach down on his chest, her mouth and ever-present drool dangerously close to his face. But for some reason he didn’t mind, and then Loki tucked a cloth under her cheek, and after staring at Thor for a minute for two she decided he was a comfortable resting spot and lay down her head. 

It was nice. 

Loki shuffled closer until his chest lay against Thor’s shoulder and he could tuck his head into Thor’s neck, and draped a hand over Briana to rest gently against her back. “I think you’re finally taking to each other,” he said, sleepily, smiling lazily up at Thor. 

“It had to happen eventually,” Thor joked, too self-conscious to voice the fact that he was secretly pleased. 

Loki just smiled and didn’t press the issue. “She’ll fall asleep soon.”

“So will you,” Thor pointed out. 

“Mmmm,” Loki murmured, not bothering to disagree. “Sounds terrible.” He yawned, his eyes slipping closed. “She ok…?”

“I got her.”

“Hmmmpfh.”

“Good night to you too,” Thor teased, and bent down enough to kiss the top of Loki’s head. 

Loki and Briana slept as the shadows in the room lengthened, and the beginnings of dusk slowly rolled over the sky. Thor lay on the bed, sleepless but tired, one hand idly stroking Loki’s hair while the other carefully held Briana in place on his chest. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about what Tash had said to him in the cafeteria queue earlier that day. Just how much did she know? Was she talking about Briana, or did she know (or _thought_ she knew) something else? He could text her, right then, and ask, but it wasn’t his place, and he didn’t know what to say anyway. 

He was still thinking when Loki stirred, blinking heavily. “Ughh. Did you sleep?” he asked huskily, his voice coming back to him in bits and pieces. 

Thor just shook his head and tried to flatten Loki’s bed hair. Loki nuzzled into his touch and reached up to check on Briana, who was still fast asleep and drooling like a pro. 

“You want me to put her down?” Loki asked, slowly finding his bearings. He leaned up on an elbow to kiss her head. 

“No, she’s fine. Let her sleep.”

“Ok.” Loki flopped back down on his side. “She’ll want to be fed soon anyway.”

“Does she ever stop eating?”

Loki snorted. “No. Gotta grow out of all those clothes somehow.” He nudged Thor’s head with his own and stared up at him. “What are you thinking about?” he asked, ever perceptive. 

Thor thought for a minute about making something up, or just distracting him with something else, but Loki looked serious and this wasn’t really something that Thor could pretend would never come up again. “It’s Tash.”

“Our Tash? What about her?” Loki was curious now, and crawled up the bed to be closer. 

“She said something to me today. Cryptic, of course, because she likes to talk like that sometimes. But I think she knows about Briana and was kinda telling me it was ok to not hide it any more from her.”

Loki sighed heavily and laid his head on Thor’s shoulder. “Weren’t we talking about this over the weekend? We thought maybe she knew, but now we’re pretty sure she does?” 

“Yeah.” Thor had forgotten about that. 

The room was almost dark, and Loki reached behind him to flick on a bedside light. “It’s ok if she knows, I think. I don’t mind her knowing.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She won’t tell anyone. She seems like the sort of person who could never break a promise.”

Thor smiled, because that was Tasha through and through. “You can say that again.”

“I would, if I wasn’t still tired.” Loki yawned, and Thor could hear his jaw crack. “Maybe tomorrow.”

“What, tell her tomorrow?” Thor asked.

“Yeah, after school. Oh wait, tomorrow’s Thursday.” Loki made a face. “Maggie’s coming round.” 

The mood had changed; Loki was suddenly subdued. Thor shifted as much as he could with a baby on his chest and managed to wrap an arm around Loki. He wasn’t quite sure what to say, because Loki still seemed anxious about it and Thor was out of his depth here. There really wasn’t anything practical he could do to help and he hated that. 

But Loki smiled, though Thor could see that it wasn’t exactly an accurate representation of what he was feeling. “I’m sure it’ll be fine,” he said, as if by saying he could convince himself, and before Thor could continue to think about how useless he was in these sorts of situations Loki ducked out from under his arm and rolled off the bed. “I need a drink,” he said. “Soda?”

“Yes, please,” Thor said, suddenly realizing how thirsty he was, and perhaps slightly glad for the change of topic. 

“Cool, I’ll be back. You can sit up if you want, just keep a hold of her head. She probably won’t wake, not just yet anyway.” 

Thor listened to his footsteps as he went up the hall towards the kitchen, and he bent his head forward awkwardly to kiss Briana’s head. “Will you get annoyed if I do sit up?” he asked her, despite her obvious lack of ability to answer. His back was aching from lying in the same place for so long, and he wanted to move. He held her carefully and sat up gently and quietly, quite pleased with his skills when she barely stirred. He was getting better at this baby business. 

With a sign he settled against the headboard of the bed, relieving the ache in his back. He adjusted Briana so they were both more comfortable and he had a hand free. Loki came back in with a can of Coke and he accepted it gratefully, even more so when Loki took pity on him and popped the tab off the top. 

“What time is it?” he asked, not even sure when he ought to leave. 

“No idea. Give me a sec.” Loki grabbed for his phone, fumbling with it before he could swipe it open. He looked perplexed, and Thor figured it wasn’t because of the time. 

“What is it?”

“I have a missed call from an unknown number,” Loki said, still looking somewhat confused. 

Thor shrugged. “It happens.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Loki said, coming back to the bed to sit down. “I changed my number when I left Alaska. No-one knows it apart from my parents, Mormor, and you guys. And I put everyone in the address book so I would know who was calling.”

“It’s probably just a wrong number,” Thor pointed out. 

Loki noticeably relaxed with his explanation. “Yeah. You’re right, it probably is. I know I’ve done that before.” He closed his phone before tossing it gently onto the bedside table. “It’s 6.30 by the way.”

“Ugh,” Thor said. “I should probably go. Mom’ll have dinner nearly ready.”

“You can stay you know,” Loki said, looking a little hopeful.

Thor was tempted, very tempted, especially considering how amazing the food had always been, but he knew he was treading a fine line with his mother when it came to how much time he spent at home. “I’d better not,” he said reluctantly. “If I go home today for dinner I can probably stay tomorrow night, if you still want me here when Maggie comes.”

“Yes,” Loki said instantly. “I’d like you here. You should meet Maggie, you’ll like her. Just sucks you have to go now.”

“I know,” Thor said, unable to disagree, and he reached over to kiss Loki on the cheek. “Now, how do I hand her over so she doesn’t wake up and scream the house down?”

“Very, very carefully.”

Thor divested himself of his now empty can of Coke and they managed to transfer Briana from one set of hands to the other without so much as a whimper from the lady herself. Loki declared it a success and manoeuvred himself off the bed carefully to follow Thor out of the room. 

“You’re not staying for dinner?” Farbauti asked as they entered the living area. She had just pulled something out of the oven and smelt like heaven. Thor could feel his mouth start to water. He almost caved in and hated that he couldn’t.

“Not tonight,” Thor said, and shook his head sadly. 

“He will tomorrow night, if that’s ok,” Loki said.

Farbauti nodded in understanding. “Of course. You’re welcome anytime.”

Thor wondered if anybody would notice if he just moved in. “Thank you,” he said, and meant it.

Farbauti gave him a hug goodbye, and so did Loki, even if it was slightly awkward with a baby between them. 

“See you tomorrow morning?” Loki asked, and Thor answered with a kiss. 

“As always. I’ll bring you a Pop-Tart.”

Loki snorted. “I don’t think so!”

“Not even a blueberry one? With frosting?”

“Go home, Thor,” Loki said with a knowing smile, and pushed him out of the door.

*

Thor trundled home his usual route in the fading light, not paying much attention to anything until someone called his name. He looked up to see he had made it to the Johnson’s house, and Mr Johnson was outside, leaning on his spade. “You living inside your head again Mr Odinson? That’s the third time I said your name.” 

Thor knew him well enough to know he wasn’t annoyed, even if the giant grin on his face didn’t give him away. It was nice to see him again, especially after how welcoming they had been to Loki. 

“Evening, Mr Johnson,” he said, turning off the footpath and heading up towards the house. He suspected his mother wouldn’t mind him being late if he said he had gone to the Johnson’s. Her soft spot for them was even larger than his.

“What are you doing wandering around at this time of night?” Mr Johnson asked, resting his spade against a pile of bags of soil. 

“Being a delinquent,” Thor replied, matching Mr Johnson’s grin. 

“Ha I’ll say you are. Happens to everyone. Boy, I could tell you some stories… but not while the Missus is around,” he said, winking. Behind him Moira was bustling down the steps, her bright apron dusted with white flour. 

“Thor!” She held her arms out wide for a hug and Thor obliged, not minding the white dust he now wore as well. “He’s not talking your head off out here is he?” she asked fondly, while to the side Mr Johnson scoffed, shaking his head in mock despair. 

“As if I could, when you can still get your words in edgewise. How are you faring, Thor? How’s school?”

“School’s good,” Thor said truthfully. “Loki’s been helping me study.”

“How is that boy? When are you bringing him back round?” Moira asked, only now seeing the flour on her apron and brushing it off furiously so it swirled around them in billows of white. 

“Soon, I promise.”

“Ain’t scared him off have we?” Mr Johnson asked, and Thor suspected he was only half-kidding.

“No! Not at all. The opposite, I think.”

Moira beamed. “Good. Then you bring him back this weekend.” It wasn’t a question, and she wasn’t expecting an answer. It just would be, and Thor knew it had been that way ever since he was a child. 

“I will. Thank you.”

“No need to thank us. Now, I’d ask you in, but I suspect your mother wants you home for dinner.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.”

“Us too boy, us too. Be mindful though, if you coulda stayed you might have found yourself hauling these.” Mr Johnson pointed to the pile of soil bags, and Moira smacked him in the arm. 

“You’ll do no such thing. Not before I’ve fed him, at least.”

Thor laughed. “I don’t mind helping, Mrs Johnson.”

“I know you don’t. And that man has a poor a back as he’s ever had. He’s getting too old for this. But you aren’t obliged to lift a finger for him.”

“I can help, I want to,” Thor said, well aware of how age was creeping up on the Johnson’s. “You don’t have to ask. I can come Friday, if you like. I have something on tomorrow afternoon.”

Mr Johnson was opening his mouth to say no, and so Thor cut him off. “I do mean it. Friday. I can help you shift them. I really don’t mind.”

Apparently Mr Johnson knew when he was beat, and he closed his mouth and half a half-hearted shrug. “Well, I won’t say no, and that wife of mine will feed you good. You come around any time, we’ll be here.”

“I will. I’ll see you Friday.” 

Moira reached forward for another hug, and this time she was longer to let go. “You’re a good boy Thor Odinson. I’ll be sure to let your mother know. She raised a good one.”

Thor blushed, not quite sure what to say and not entirely sure he deserved the praise. But it was rude to protest, so he just smiled, a little embarrassed, and took his cue to leave when Moira turned to go inside and Mr Johnson pulled up his spade again. 

“Friday,” he said in farewell, and raised a hand. 

“Friday,” Mr Johnson echoed, and tipped an imaginary hat at him. 

*

For the first time since Thor had met him, Loki was too preoccupied with other matters to worry too much about school the next day. He watched him strip a pencil bare during History, and Steve told him how Loki had stared out of the window during the entirely of Classics – something previously unheard of. 

Thor didn’t press him though; he knew what occupied Loki’s mind and he knew him well enough to know that nothing was going to make him turn his attention to his classes. Tasha raised a questioning eyebrow at him at lunch when Loki left his lunch alone and didn’t open his mouth once, and Thor just shook his head very slightly and smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile. 

Judging by the look on Tasha’s face he hadn’t succeeded. 

Worrying about Loki worrying about that afternoon’s social services visit meant that Thor hardly paid attention to his classes either. It was a sharp turnaround to the intense work he had done earlier in the week, but he supposed that it all averaged out in the end. He didn’t have another test for at least another two weeks, and that would give him plenty of time to catch up. Hopefully. 

All in all, he was just as glad as Loki when the final bell rung at the end of the day. They found each other quickly outside the school, even amongst the melee of students that resembled a horde of hyenas that thought they had spotted a meal. Loki clutched at Thor’s hand and led the way through, pushing aside other people until they reached the footpath. 

Loki didn’t talk on the way home. Thor didn’t push him, just let him be inside his head. He had no idea what was going on inside there, and even if he did, there was little he could do to help. 

What he could do though, was physical. When they reached Loki’s front yard Thor stopped them, holding on even as Loki’s hand was nearly pulled from his as he continued to walk, oblivious. 

“What is it?” Loki asked, seemingly coming back to Earth for the first time in about half an hour. 

“Nothing, I just…” Thor’s words failed him, not that it mattered, and he pulled Loki into a hug. 

Whatever Loki was going to say in response faded into the space between them as he relaxed, becoming weightless in Thor’s arms as for the first time that day he let himself think about something other than Maggie's visit.

When they couldn’t delay the inevitable any longer, Thor pulled Loki back onto his feet and kissed his temple. “C’mon. Bet there’s someone dying to see you.”

Loki scoffed. “You mean drink me dry.”

“Same thing.”

Thor was pleased to see something resembling a smile on Loki’s face as he followed him into the house. He just hoped it had reason to stay around. 

Everyone was home. Thor had been to Loki’s enough times now to know this was unusual this early in the day, though he didn’t need to ask why. Maggie’s visit was important, and Thor was beginning to realize that he hadn’t a clue just how much. 

Laufey was on the phone, evidently having brought his work home with him. He waved at them from the couch before going back to his conversation, his voice low and urgent. Ane was in the kitchen, wiping everything furiously, and Thor could smell both gingerbread and lemon cleanser, and his olfactory senses were rather conflicted. 

Loki headed down the hallway to his bedroom, where Farbauti was sitting on the bed with a very grumpy baby, who’s screwed up face was beginning to turn an interesting shade of red. Farbauti breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of them that even Thor, well behind Loki, could hear. 

“And the beauty of being a grandmother is that you can hand them back,” Farbauti said, probably only half kidding. 

“Is she that awful?” Loki asked, dumping his bag beside his desk. “What have you done to her?”

“Starved her, apparently,” Farbauti said dryly. “She won’t take a bottle.”

“I did talk to her about that, but I don’t think she listened.”

“I wonder where she got that from.”

Loki had the good grace to look sheepish. “Here. I’ll feed her before Maggie comes.” He held his hands out and Farbauti relinquished her hold on an increasingly squirmy baby. 

“She’ll be here in half an hour,” Farbauti pointed out, standing up. 

“That’s ok. I’ll kick her off if she’s not done by then.” Loki slid onto his bed carefully and made himself comfortable against the pillows, Briana splayed over his chest. 

“Good luck with that,” Faubauti said. She turned to go, but something made her stop and go back to the bed. She bent down over Loki and kissed his cheek, and from his place beside the door Thor could hear her say softly “Everything will be fine.” She waited until she had a nod from Loki, albeit a somewhat shaky one, before giving him his privacy. 

“Come with me,” Faubauti said to Thor, her smile returning. “I’ll get you boys something to eat.”

Thor was not going to say no to that.

*

“How has he been today?” Faubauti asked quietly when they were in the kitchen, and Thor needed no explanation as to what she was talking about. 

“Quiet,” Thor confessed. “Even more than usual. Nervous. I don’t think he could stop thinking about this afternoon.”

Farbauti nodded slowly, seemingly caught up in her own world. She sighed heavily and pulled a stack of plates from the cupboard, placing them in Thor’s waiting hands. “I suspected that might happen. I don’t blame him, though at the same time I don’t think anything bad is going to come out of this visit. There is nothing I could say that could reassure him of that though.” She gave Thor a quick smile. “Thank you for looking after him today, I know you would have.”

Thor opened his mouth but found he had nothing to say, and settled for smiling instead, hoping his cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. He suspected he was losing that battle. 

The smell of lemon lingered long after he left the kitchen, plates piled with gingerbread and cans of cold soda tucked under his arm where they burned against his skin. 

Loki appeared to be asleep, but he opened his eyes as Thor crept back into the room. Briana was feeding quietly, a hand fisted into the material of Loki’s shirt. “Food. Oh thank god. I thought I was too nervous to eat but my stomach says otherwise.”

“Yeah I find that happens with gingerbread,” Thor mused, sliding the plate onto the bedside table. He popped the tabs on the soda and gave one to Loki, who drained half of it almost immediately. 

“Slow down, you’ll drown,” Thor warned, tapping a finger against the frosty side of Loki’s can. 

“Not if I drink it first,” Loki pointed out, and drunk the rest.

“Is that where Briana gets it from?” Thor pointed out wryly.

“She’s worse than me,” Loki said darkly, and made a face.

“I’m not sure I want to know,” Thor said, and demolished a slice of gingerbread in 0.2 seconds. 

“Trust me, you don’t. Hand it over before you eat it all, will you?”

They ate in silence for a while, until the only thing left on the plate was crumbs and Briana had been duly switched over to the other tap. Loki rested his head on Thor’s shoulder and appeared to be contemplating the ceiling, which Thor couldn’t find interesting, no matter how hard he tried. 

“You ok?” he asked quietly, nudging Loki with a shoulder. 

“Mmmm.”

“That’s not much of an answer.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Loki sighed. “Can you ask me in an hour or two? I have no idea how I’m feeling right now.”

“Of course.” Thor pressed a kiss to the top of Loki’s head. He felt a little lost, wanting to be useful but aware that the more he tried the more he reminded Loki of the upcoming appointment. He settled for wrapping an arm around Loki’s shoulder and shutting the hell up. 

*

Loki had only just finished burping Briana when there was a knock on the front door that echoed down the hall and throughout the house. For a moment Loki looked startled, and Thor watched him carefully for what he would do next, but the sudden look of calm and relaxation that settled on Loki’s face surprised him. 

“She’s here now, we can finally get on with it,” Loki said in explanation, and smiled, before hoisting Briana onto his hip and making his way down to the living room. 

Farbauti had already let Maggie in by the time they got to the living room. She was a bubbly lady with tight blond curls, very bright purple nail polish and a sweater that resembled a Jackson Pollock painting that quite possibly had been made by her grandmother. She saw Loki and smiled, looking genuinely delighted to see him, and Thor could almost feel the warmth that seemed to radiate from her. Thor liked her immediately, and she hadn’t even opened her mouth. 

“Loki!” She opened her arms wide and swept Loki and Briana up into a careful hug that lasted a little longer than normal social conventions would allow. Loki looked slightly dishevelled when he exited and Thor didn’t blame him. 

“How have you been?” she asked warmly, as if the answer really mattered to her – and Thor had no doubt that it did. 

Loki nodded his head. “Good, really good. Everything’s going really well.” _For the first time in a long time_ was unspoken, but heard by everybody. 

“Well I am very pleased to hear that,” Maggie said. “And I trust this young lady is keeping her end of the bargain?” She stroked Briana’s head carefully, and Thor wasn’t sure what to think when she didn’t even _try_ to drool all over Maggie. 

“She’s… _growing_ ,” Loki said, with a little exasperation, which made Maggie smile. “But yes, she’s behaving most of the time.”

“You just wait until she learns to crawl,” Maggie said to him, with a wide smile and a wink that made Thor wonder just what on earth he had to be prepared for. “So, is this him then?” Maggie asked suddenly, raising a sharply defined eyebrow at Loki, and it took Thor a moment to realize that she was talking about him. 

Loki went bright red before mumbling a confirmation, and Maggie nodded appraisingly. “Well, I see what you mean.”

Thor wasn’t quite sure what to make of this and looked to Loki for an explanation, but he suddenly didn’t seem to want to look Thor in the eye. Ane and Farbauti were grinning knowingly in the background, and Laufey was looking resigned and shaking his head, refusing to look at anybody. 

“What?” Thor asked, completely oblivious.

“I _definitely_ see what you mean,” Maggie said, laughing. “Come on, shall we sit down?”

Ane led the way over to the couches as Farbauti went to the kitchen to fetch coffee and drinks, and the rest of the gingerbread that Loki and Thor hadn’t yet demolished. Thor found himself alone next to Loki, who smiled and silenced Thor’s unasked question with a playful headbutt to his shoulder. Thor figured that now apparently wasn’t the time. 

He followed Loki over to the couch and sat down, and tried very hard not to think about what he and Loki had done a couple of weeks ago on it. Beside him Loki appeared to be thinking the same thing, if his sudden look of awkwardness was anything to go by. Thor sat very still and tried not to look guilty. 

Over the gingerbread and about 20 cups of tea they went through what Thor figured was social services 101. What he assumed were the routine questions were first – how was Loki coping with Briana and with school, how were his grades and attendance, was he getting enough sleep, and a dozen others that Thor already knew the answers to. When she asked about school Thor felt like butting in and telling Maggie that Loki was shaming the rest of their grade and it was completely embarrassing, but he didn’t think Loki would appreciate that.

When Maggie broached the subject of Briana’s health, Loki was keen to discuss her second hospital visit, well aware that Maggie probably didn’t know anything about it. She didn’t, and after a lengthy rundown of everything that had happened and the return to good health of the lady in question Maggie seemed rather unconcerned, which relieved Thor more than he expected. They moved onto Briana’s weight, and her slow but steady introduction to solids. 

Next to him, Loki had begun to fidget a little, and Thor knew he was wondering if Maggie would get to the point – why this extra appointment? Thor had to admit to being rather curious as it didn’t seem that she was at all worried about the care that Loki and his family were providing – rather, the opposite. Maggie seemed delighted that things were going so well, and that Loki had managed to resume his education with little or no disruption while Briana missed out on nothing. Thor had thought she was laying it on a little thick before coming to the realization that it was highly likely that this was not the norm for her clients, and that Loki was probably a breath of fresh air. 

Finally, it seemed that the time had come to move things on. Maggie settled her cup and saucer on the coffee table and reached into her satchel for a sheaf of papers. Thor could feel Loki stiffen beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ane and Farbauti doing the same. 

“Right,” Maggie said brightly, as if all this had not been the cause of a lot of undue anxiety in the Jenssen household over the past week. “I’m not sure if you have seen the new changes to social welfare?” She looked up expectedly, but it was clear by the blank looks that no-one knew what she was talking about. “Well, that’s understandable. Not really something that makes the local paper.”

She laid the papers out on the coffee table, flicking through until she found the one she was looking for. Whipping it out of her pile, she held it out to Loki. “Have a read through dear.” Loki wriggled a hand out from beneath Briana – who was fast asleep and blissfully ignorant of all the fuss she was currently the cause of – and took it from her carefully. He skimmed read the document, brow furrowed, while across from him Ane and Farbauti looked anxious to learn more. Laufey had claimed the armchair next to where Loki sat on the couch, and he had just settled for looking rather suspicious, his arms folded across his chest. 

“This is different,” Loki said, looking up, and he wriggled his hand so the paper flapped up and down. “I thought I didn’t qualify.”

Maggie nodded vigorously. “Under the old rules you didn’t, because your household income was above the threshold and it was safe for you to remain here. However, now that doesn’t matter – you qualify regardless. Things are getting a bit of a shake-up – long overdue in my opinion.”

Loki looked as though he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure how to say it. He glanced over the document again, apparently making himself sure of something before passing the paper over to his mother, who took it quickly. “What does it mean?” Loki asked, reclaiming his previous hold on Briana. 

“What it means is that from next month the state will begin paying you a set amount per week into a nominated bank account of your choice. Of course, the money is paid out on the understanding that it is to be used for the maintenance and care of you and your daughter, to ensure that the both of you have all you need. It’s not audited of course, but that’s the general expectation. This will continue until she reaches 5 years of age, after which the amount is adjusted to allow for additional school expenses.”

Loki remained silent, his eyes unfocused as he appeared to be taking it all in. He looked a bit blindsided, and Thor guessed that this wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. From Thor’s perspective it just sounded like free money (if there was such a thing) but he kept his mouth closed, because he couldn’t claim that what he understood was the same for Loki. 

Ane and Farbauti had finished pouring over the piece of paper and turned it over to Laufey, who began scrutinising it like there was a catch that Maggie had chosen not to point out. Thor didn’t think that that would be the case at all, but he did have zero experience in these matters. 

“Do I have to take it?” Loki asked slowly, beginning to rock Briana gently in his arms. “Is it compulsory?”

Maggie looked startled – Thor supposed that she hadn’t had any of her clients say that to her before. “Well,” she started, clearly trying to think of something to say, “no, not really. We aren’t going to force to you take it. But we would ask why you wouldn’t want it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Simply that we would need to ensure that the money was not being denied when it would otherwise be of use – if the child was not receiving an acceptable standard of care. As you can imagine, it is not a situation that we find often. Of course, if you truly wish to not receive the money, that is up to you – I am entirely satisfied that you are providing for Briana in all facets of care. In your case it would not be a cause for concern. But you understand that we need to ensure that this is a matter of record for ourselves.”

Loki seemed mollified, and relaxed. “Of course. I just – well, we didn’t need it before.” 

Thor had been watching the exchange in interest, and realized that perhaps Loki had more of Laufey in him than he had estimated. This was a matter of pride for them, and Thor could understand that, but he could also understand that surely with the amount of clothes, diapers, and other things that Briana went through so quickly that this extra money could be a blessing, surely, not a curse?

But this wasn’t his business, and he kept his mouth shut. 

Ane and Farbauti had remained silent, and were now looking at Laufey, as if he held the answer to this. But Laufey looked at Loki before he spoke, and what passed between father and son Thor wasn’t sure. All he knew was what Laufey said after. 

“Can we discuss this as a family first?”

“Of course,” Maggie said. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you,” Loki said quietly, and by the look on his face Thor knew that his brain was already going a mile a minute. 

“Not a problem.” Maggie ruffled through her pile of papers and extracted a few before handing them over to Laufey. “There’s more information in here, as well as on our website if you would like to have a look. If you have any more questions you know that you can phone me any time, and I’m happy to pop back in at any time that suits you.”

“Thank you,” Laufey said, and gave her a respectful nod. “We appreciate it.” 

“My pleasure,” Maggie said, her warm smile lighting up her face. “I do really enjoy our visits – and thank you for accommodating me when it’s not our usual week.”

“We did get a bit worried, to be honest,” Ane said, which Thor thought was a rather spectacular understatement. 

“I’m sorry,” Maggie said, and Thor could tell she meant it. “I was hoping they would put more information in the letters so as to not alarm you, but I suspect it fell on deaf ears.”

“We’ll forgive you,” Loki said, with a bit of a cheeky grin.

“Well thank you, Mr Jenssen. I’m sorry to not be able to stay longer, but I do have another appointment and it’s not local. But before I head off, I have a few things in my car for you Loki. Perhaps I could borrow Thor?” 

Loki grinned. “Just as long as you return him in the same condition.”

“I make no promises I cannot keep,” Maggie said, waggling a finger at him. “But I will do my best. We won’t be long.”

Thor found himself following her out of the house, where he found that her car was more of a van, and when she had said she had a ‘few’ things, she meant a lot. It took a few trips but between the two of them they managed to get everything inside and in a pile in the living room. 

“Where does all this come from?” Thor asked on one trip, curious. 

“Oh, all sorts of places. Most of this is donated from large companies who can afford it, but there are some things from local businesses as well. Sometimes it’s because they are benevolent, sometimes because it’s a good way to promote their products. Sometimes both. Whatever the reason, we are always grateful for it, and never turn it down. It all gets used.”

Thor nodded, his arms stretched around a giant box of diapers. “Especially these, I guess.”

Maggie glanced over and then laughed. “Oh, you have no idea.”

“I’m starting to get the picture,” Thor said wryly. 

“And just think, only another couple of years to go,” Maggie said, and winked. 

Thor wondered if it was too late to back out.

*

Maggie couldn’t linger any longer and said a hasty goodbye. Farbauti made her take another slice of gingerbread for the road, she promised to be back in three weeks and then she was gone, her still over-packed van lumbering off down the street. Thor watched her go and wondered how it would all go with her next client.

“Well, of all the things that visit could have been about, it could have been worse,” Ane mused, flopping back down on the couch with a sigh. “Just a pity we didn’t know about it before hand – might have saved some grief.”

Farbauti nodded her head in agreement and sat down next to her. “I do wish we had known. I have a lot of questions. What do you think about all this, Loki?”

“I have no idea,” he said. “I think I need to read through that stuff she gave Dad. I don’t even know how much she’s talking about.”

“Well, it’s not thousands, but it’s not nothing either,” Laufey said, passing the sheets over to Loki. “But this is entirely up to you.”

Loki flicked through the papers, skimming each page. “But it’s not really, is it? I mean, you and mom pay for everything.”

Laufey raised an eyebrow. “Of course. We’re your parents. And we aren’t exactly going to go out and make you get a job – school and Briana takes priority over that. We don’t _need_ the money, so it’s up to you if you want to take it or not.”

The room was quiet, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Loki settled back against the couch and sighed, shifting Briana so she was more comfortable in his arms. She barely stirred. “I guess… I guess if it’s _there_ , but it almost doesn’t seem right taking it.”

The still of the room was broken by Ane’s sudden chuckle. “My darling, you must be the first person in the world to not feel right about taking money from the government.”

Farbauti and Laufey could find the amusement in that as well and laughed, and Thor was helpless to stop his own spreading grin. He spotted Loki trying not to giggle and poked him in the ribs until he did.

“Alright, very funny,” Loki said, swatting at Thor until he went away. “I see the irony, so you can all stop laughing now.”

“Never change, sweetheart,” Farbauti said with a grin, pressing a kiss to Loki’s head as she passed him on her way to the kitchen. Loki poked his tongue out at her back. 

“So, is that a decision?” Laufey asked wryly. 

Loki sighed. “I have no idea.”

“Sleep on it,” Laufey suggested. “Read through all of that properly and see what your gut says in the morning.”

“Yeah. Yeah ok. I’ll do that. I’m going to go put Briana down, she’s heavy.” Loki was so out of balance with her tucked in his arms Thor had to help him up. Almost as an afterthought he grabbed the papers from the coffee table before they headed down to the bedroom. 

Loki went into the nursery to lay Briana down, tiptoeing out before closing the door quietly. He flopped facedown onto the bed and groaned into his pillow, twisting it around his head until it covered his ears. Thor chuckled and sat down next to him, idly patting him on the shoulder. “It’s not that bad, is it?”

“Nooooo,” Loki moaned, his voice muffled and tired. He lay there for another second before thumping his hands down to the mattress and letting the pillow go. “Sorry,” he said, and rolled over to his back. “I just felt like doing that.”

Thor cracked up. “Of course you did.”

Loki screwed up his face and pretended to kick Thor in the stomach. “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“Oh, willingly,” Loki said, and climbed onto his knees.

“Are you serious?” Thor asked, raising an eyebrow. He had no intention of saying ‘no’, if Loki insisted of course. 

“Distract me. I need to be distracted, just for a bit.”

“Am I going to distract you by taking off your pants?”

“Well, that’s a good start.”

“And your parents?”

“That’s why the whole ‘shutting up’ thing. Wait,” Loki said, and crawled off the bed. He grabbed a CD from his stack, not bothering to look at the cover, and turned it on just loud enough to cover any noises that might escape but not wake Briana. It was a delicate business. He stripped off his shirt and undershirt before hopping back on the bed and Thor decided he might as well do the same. 

“Dinner’ll be in about an hour,” Loki said. “No-one will come in before that.”

“You promise?” Thor asked, though the rapidly increasing loss of blood from his brain meant that he was caring about the answer less and less rather quickly. 

“My parents aren’t stupid, Thor. They aren’t coming in here. Now take your pants off.” 

Thor wasn’t going to be told twice. He jerked his jeans down over his ankles and threw them in a pile on the floor, before doing the same with his boxers. Loki was already naked, stomach down sprawled over the side of the bed fetching lube, affording Thor a view that he could watch for days. 

“Stop staring,” Loki said, his voice muffled. “I can feel your eyes on my ass.”

“Well, where else do you want me to look?” Thor said, laughing. He shuffled closer to Loki on his knees and grabbed his hips. 

“Thor!” 

“Sssh! Baby sleeping, remember?” Thor bent down and kissed Loki’s lower back, his hands sliding down to cup his ass. “Did I ever tell you that you’re really hot?”

Loki laughed, his head still somewhere down by the floor. “Can we have this conversation after I’ve gotten up?”

“I see nothing wrong with this position.” Thor kissed lower, making Loki hiss and tense up, before sinking back into the mattress. 

“Shit… Thor, my head is - _ahhh_! Oh god. Ok I’m getting up now because I’m going to faint.”

Loki pushed himself up on the bed, swaying slightly – Thor liked to think it had something to do with what he was just doing, but decided he was safer not voicing that thought. Loki flopped back against the pillows and raised a hand out towards Thor, beckoning him closer. Like he was going to waste a second. 

One hand wrapped around the base of his cock while the other snaked around his hip, pulling him closer, and looking down Thor watched as Loki’s pink tongue darted out to snatch a drop of precum from the tip. The flushed red of his cock complemented the emerald green of Loki’s eyes as he stared up at Thor, almost daring him to look away, and in the next moment when Loki swallowed around him it took all his willpower just to keep upright. Thor lost that game. 

“Shit.” Thor groaned, and braced a hand against the wall. Now was usually the time when Loki said something snarky and entirely true, but given that his mouth was otherwise occupied Thor was spared the teasing for once. He kinda missed it. 

But Loki’s silver tongue was working magic, curling around him and licking the underside of his cock and generally driving him crazy, and if he wasn’t careful this was going to be over before it started. Thor tried thinking of school, of those bags of soil he’d be moving tomorrow, of anything that wasn’t remotely sexy in a vain attempt to stave off the inevitable. He was failing miserably. 

Loki, at least, was thinking further ahead. He released Thor with a pop, his lips wet and shiny, eyes bright, something cheeky surely percolating in his brain, but he wisely kept it in there. “Do you want…?” Thor blurted, too far gone to finish the end of the sentence that he’d already forgotten. 

Loki shook his head. “Here,” he said breathlessly, and handed Thor the bottle of lube and the condom he’d retrieved from his bottom drawer. Thor didn’t bother to stop and read the flavor this time. He swung a leg back over Loki’s lap and landed roughly beside him on the bed, not waiting for permission before kissing him rather thoroughly. 

Running his hands over Loki’s hips, Thor pulled him up and over until Loki was straddling him, his long black hair dangling down around his face. “Like this?” he whispered, one hand cupping Loki’s cheek. 

“Like this,” Loki agreed, and reached down to kiss him again. “And hurry up.”

Thor chuckled. “Yes ma’am.” He got a rough slap for that, which probably wasn’t undeserved. With one hand he angled the bottle until he could flick the cap open, and squirted some over his fingers until he could feel it dripping down over his palm. Loki gasped as he didn’t waste any time, rubbing a wet finger over and around his hole. Thor could feel him clenching.

“You didn’t want me to wait,” Thor pointed out, giving Loki a tap on his hip. 

“I know,” Loki replied, his voice muffled courtesy of being buried in a pillow beside Thor’s head. 

“Can I…?” 

Thor took the sudden spreading of Loki’s legs as a yes. He tried again, rubbing gently with his middle finger before easing it inside with a touch of pressure. Loki squealed into the pillow, his body shaking as Thor pressed his finger in to the hilt. He went slowly at first, until Loki slapped a hand on his chest, a wordless demand for more. Thor didn’t hesitate. 

The long, deep moan wrenched from Loki’s throat as he plunged three fingers into him went straight to his cock. “Like that?” he asked Loki breathlessly, curling his fingers inside him before fucking him rapidly. Loki was beyond talking by now and settled for sinking his teeth into Thor’s shoulder instead. For the first time in his life, Thor found himself turned on by pain. “Like that then,” Thor said breathlessly, mostly to himself. Loki was no longer listening.

After a few minutes his wrist was beginning to ache and Loki’s thighs were trembling minutely. Thor had been with Loki enough times by now to know when he was ready for more, and fumbled for the condom. He tore it open with his teeth but couldn’t get it on one-handed. Reluctantly he slid his fingers out of Loki, but as it turned out a hand covered with lube was not very useful. Impatient, Loki hauled himself up until he was sitting on Thor’s thighs.

“Do I have to do everything around here?” he teased, and grabbed the condom out of Thor’s sticky hands. With practiced fingers he rolled it on quickly, giving Thor’s cock a few strokes out of either sheer pity or sadistic pleasure. “D-Don’t,” Thor stuttered, gasping, preferring not to cum before the main event had even started. 

“Don’t worry,” Loki reassured. “I have a vested interest in making sure you stay hard.” He sounded wrecked already, his voice hoarse from muffled moans and screams into his pillow. Thor enjoyed knowing that he made Loki that way.

“Here baby.” He found the lube and let Loki drizzle on as much as he wanted, enjoying the feel of a hand on his cock spreading it around maybe a little too much. 

“Stop it,” Loki warned, and poked Thor hard in the stomach. Thor’s retort faded in his throat as Loki rose above him, shuffling forward until he was settled above Thor’s hips. A hand snaked around the base of his cock, holding him still, and Thor was pretty sure he’d stopped breathing. He slid his hands up to Loki’s waist and held them there, just waiting. This was Loki’s moment.

Loki slid down onto him quietly, just a deep breath inwards as Thor filled the space inside him. His pretty green eyes were closed, his teeth pinching at his swollen red lips, and Thor had never seen anything more beautiful. Loki began to move, hands braced still on Thor’s shoulders, his head tilted back and mouth open in obvious pleasure. 

It wasn’t the hard and fast fuck they had enjoyed so many times before. Thor let Loki set the pace, steady and deep, his hips rocking back down onto Thor only as often as he wanted it. Sometimes he held himself up, until only the head of Thor’s cock was inside him and Thor had to resist the urge to slam up into him. Loki would slide back down on him in time, and smile through his black hair, hands forcing Thor back into the mattress.

He could get used to this. Relinquishing control was not easy for him, but in the interests of really good sex he was willing to cede. He made himself lie back and just enjoy it, alternating between watching Loki’s face as the pleasure played out across his face, and the stomach clenching sight of his cock sliding in and out.

“You like that?” Loki whispered into his ear, perfectly aware of where Thor’s gaze was directed.

“Ye – shit! Yes,” Thor breathed, taking the opportunity to pull Loki down for a kiss. “You feel so fucking good.”

“So do you.” Loki nuzzled into Thor’s shoulder, pressing kisses into his skin. Thor could feel his lips and the drag of his teeth, and the painful pleasure of those teeth biting down. He hissed, his hips jerking upwards, and Loki moaned his satisfaction before doing it again and soothing the reddened flesh with his tongue. That was going to bruise, Thor could feel, and he didn’t care.

Loki pushed himself upright, giving Thor more to look at, and he let himself take his fill. Loki was touching himself, jerking his cock in rhythm with his thrusts, precum dotting Thor’s skin beneath. Thor watched him for a while, his brain completely befuddled with lust, his skin burning with it. He slid his hands up Loki’s sides to his chest, rubbing over his breasts before playing with his nipples, making Loki shudder and gasp.

“You close?” Thor asked, and Loki just nodded in reply, too far gone to talk. “Cum on me, I want to watch.” Loki gasped at that, his cock twitching, and Thor needed to taste. He hauled himself upright, one arm around Loki to make sure he didn’t fall off. He closed his lips around a nipple, remembering how to suckle to bring Loki’s milk down. He was rewarded quickly, a gush of warm sweetness filling his mouth. Loki was panting now, an arm wrapped around Thor’s neck, the other hand still working his cock.

Thor swallowed and sucked again, not caring that a trickle of milk was running down his chin, because it tasted so good and Loki was loving it, his hand pressing Thor closer to his chest. He could feel the tremors wracking Loki’s body and knew he was close, and slid a hand down to his own cock, following it up to Loki’s body as he thrust. 

He smeared a finger around in the excess lube that covered them and worked it into Loki carefully alongside his cock, and knew that had done it when Loki cried out and began to spasm around him. Thor released his nipple and sat back, enjoying the sight of Loki’s cock spurting cum all over his stomach. He continued thrusting as his partner came, drawing it out, making him shake. 

He had barely finished when Thor pulled out of him, tipping Loki over so his back hit the mattress. He fumbled for the condom and yanked it off, rising to his knees to shuffle closer. With a thumb he pressed open Loki’s mouth, his other hand jerking his cock. Loki caught on and opened his mouth wider, lifting his head to make it easier. Thor could see his tongue darting out in invitation and didn’t hesitate, bringing his cock closer until that tongue could reach out and swirl around the head. 

It was too much and he couldn’t last, and he managed to mumble out a warning before he was _there_ , filling Loki’s mouth. He watched Loki swallow it down, tongue flicking out to catch the drops that escaped, and wondered if it was physically possible for him to cum again so soon, because he really kinda felt like it. 

But there came a point when not even Loki’s talented mouth could milk anymore out of him, and he came back to reality and some aching knees. “Lie down,” Loki said, grinning, and pushed at this stomach until he did. 

“Uhhhhhhhh,” was all Thor could manage in response. How on earth Loki could string together a coherent sentence after _that_ Thor had no idea. But blissful sleep was closing his eyes, and the bed was really comfortable, even more so with Loki snuggling in next to him and pulling the quilt up over their bodies. He thought he heard Loki mumble something but he was halfway into dreamland, and that was that.

*

When he was rudely awakened what felt like barely a minute later, Loki was freshly showered and somehow as bright as a bird. Thor felt like he had a hangover. 

“There’s time before dinner for a shower if you want one,” Loki said from his perch on the side of the bed. He was squeezing his hair dry in a giant green towel, as naked as the day he was born. If Thor’s head wasn’t pounding like a jackhammer he probably would have done more than just leer and try to go back to sleep.

“Nah uh,” Loki said, and stripped the quilt off Thor entirely. “Time to make yourself presentable so that dinner isn’t as awkward as it would be otherwise.”

“You’re the one who wanted to have sex,” Thor pointed out, quite reasonably he thought.

“Yep,” Loki said, looking rather proud of himself. He went back to drying his hair. Thor sighed, and gave in. 

*

Loki was right. Having dinner with your boyfriend’s family approximately 10 minutes after they all knew you had had sex was awkward. Thor figured that at least he’d showered, and so was rather more hygienic than he could have been. And he didn’t smell. At least, he didn’t think he did, because Loki hadn’t decided that he had to douse him in cologne before they left his bedroom.

Everyone seemed in good spirits though, given Maggie’s visit had gone well, and Thor soon relaxed and ‘owned it’, as Loki would probably say – if he hadn’t been busy trying to stuff bits of mashed potatoes in Briana’s mouth. She seemed awfully amused by it and Thor suspected she was only trying to refuse it because it was so funny watching Loki trying to get it back in. 

By the end of dinner – which was amazing, _again_ \- Loki’s hands were covered on potato and so was Briana’s face, although she didn’t seem remotely upset about it. Partway through dinner Loki had given up wiping his hands before eating his own food, and so his knife and fork had gotten the same treatment. Nobody seemed fazed by this and Thor stopped thinking it was odd after a while. 

While he couldn’t say that dinners at his own house were staid or boring, they didn’t have the same relaxed vibe as ones with Loki’s family. Here, dinner often stretched out into the evening, as they chatted and caught up with the news, and eventually everyone helped clear up and wash the dishes. Thor liked it. It was nice to be able to be himself, and not what he thought Loki’s family might want him to be. 

When everyone was done he helped Farbauti and Ane with the dishes while Laufey cleared the table and Loki dealt to the potato-covered child. Then there was coffee and skillingsboller for dessert, still warm from the oven. Thor could easily eat 4 in a sitting, and was completely unashamed to take the second and third rolls he was offered. 

So he was fat and warm and happy when he had to roll out the door, and didn’t protest when Farbauti made him take a bag of leftover rolls with him for his parents (and of course, his breakfast). When he kissed Loki goodbye at the door it was with the taste of cardamom and cinnamon on their lips, with perhaps the tiniest hint of potato. Briana said farewell with a fist twisted in his hair, and Thor couldn’t help but plant a wet one on her forehead. She giggled and let go, and Thor was delighted to have finally found her weakness. 

“Thank you for everything today,” Loki said. “It meant a lot having you here.”

“I don’t think I contributed much,” Thor said with a chuckle. He’d spent most of the time just sitting and watching.

“Doesn’t matter, that’s not the point. It was just having you here to support me. It was nice.” Loki said it quite fiercely, as if it was coming from a place that held a lot of bad things. Thor wasn’t going to poke it. 

“It’s ok. Anytime,” he said, and meant it. “Come here.” Loki didn’t hesitate, and buried himself in the open arms that Thor offered. They stood for a while in the evening air, wrapped together, and even Briana was quiet – probably because she was drooling all over Thor’s shirt.

“It’ll buff out,” Loki said, dabbing at the wet spot with a tissue, before going back for one last hug. “See you in the morning?”

“Yeah. Bright and early.”

“Don’t be too enthusiastic Thor, you’ll explode.”

“It’s my default expression.”

“Ha. Your default expression usually involves a Pop Tart.” Loki pressed a kiss to Thor’s cheek. “Sleep well, ok? And don’t eat all the rolls on the way home.”

“I have no idea why you’d say that,” Thor said, completely insulted. 

“Uh huh! Good night, Thor.” Loki waved, and Briana stared, as if wondering why Thor was walking the wrong way. 

Thor waved back, watching Loki and Briana disappear into the warm safety of the house and the door swing shut behind them. Enjoying the pleasant evening, he pulled the bag open, crammed a roll into his mouth and slowly made for home.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I Knock on Your Skin, and I Am In](https://archiveofourown.org/works/678077) by [sexualthorientation (sexyscholar)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sexyscholar/pseuds/sexualthorientation)




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